May 19, 2015

The Bachelorette: Kaitlyn is the New Bachelorette

Week 1 - Part 2

Part two of the premiere picks back up with the guys speculating who the majority have picked. Chris has already counted the votes in the rose coffins with the security guard, so he walks outside to find Britt. The votes have been tallied and Britt's not the Bachelorette (the fans rejoice). The show does one thing right in this dumb idea and that's letting Britt know the results in private instead of making it a show in front of the men. Britt is put into a limo, where she is pretty surprised she didn't get picked but also super let down because now she's met a few great guys and leaving them behind for Kaitlyn. It ends with a signature Britt ugly cry, but with far less glitter eyeshadow and mascara dripping down her cheeks.

Chris Harrison does a monotone psych-out on Kaitlyn, who is brought to tears with excitement while still being sympathetic to Britt. Kaitlyn is a true treasure, people. Kaitlyn gets a minute to privately celebrate, call her mom, and ponder which guys to immediately dump. Then Chris Harrison introduces the official Bachelorette to the group to cheers and a few golf claps (the guys who voted for Britt). Then begins the second round of one-on-one time with Kaitlyn. Ian is the most excited and gets her first, and Joshua gifts her with the rose her welded. The guys who voted for Britt were thrown for a loop, not sure what to do or how to proceed. Tony the weirdo healer mopes, while "Love Man" Jared confesses his vote and Kaitlyn appreciates his honesty. Kaitlyn now has to not only pick who she likes, but figure out which guys weren't initially interested in her. Single dad JJ admits he wasn't originally picking Kaitlyn, but his honesty and their discussion makes her really attracted to him. Cupcake Chris is the guy who goes in for the kiss first and she's impressed. But Ryan Gosling lookalike Shawn B. gets the first impression rose and a big kiss. Turns out that everyone isn't bummed Kaitlyn won out.

The rose ceremony begins with Kaitlyn so baffled that a rose ceremony is happening because I guess she doesn't understand how this show works despite being on and it making final three. Animosity grows as men who voted for Britt begin to get roses, which Kaitlyn-lovers remain on the sidelines. Most shocking is healer Tony, who was so mopey about losing Britt, accepting a rose. Not everyone is covering up who they were originally rooting for. Singer/songwriter Brady interrupts the rose ceremony to ask for time alone with Kaitlyn, where the honestly tells her that his heart is with Britt. He leaves the house and requests Chris Harrison take him to Britt, trying to win her heart the old fashioned way: off-camera.. The rose ceremony continues on, with the last rose going to "Love Man" Jared. Roseless and eliminated is Magic Josh the stripper, hot tub car Shawn E, some dude Bradley, and David. The remaining men toast to the voyage ahead. Think of all the potential helicopter rides!

Oh and about Brady and Britt. He surprises her at her hotel room and... to be continued.

Two wrap up my premiere recap, I feel like I need to give you more of my opinion since you're reading my blog and might wonder what I'm thinking. I find this whole situation just cringe-worthy and such an awkward experience to watch, kind of removing the fun and excitement of the first night of the show. You know I love a 2-on-1 date, which you could compare this situation to, except by that point the lead has gotten to know the women beyond first impressions. Here, it's a bunch of guys basically talking about which girl is hotter. The fact that some guys were baffled that they could change their vote based simply on having a conversation just showed everything wrong with this world. Wow, a girl could be more attractive besides face value - what a gamechanger! And while I don't want Britt to be the lead, I also don't want to see two women have to be pitted against each other and letting the men choose their fate. The fun of the spin-off was the power being in the woman's hands (but let's not get started on the whole end proposal nonsense). Either way, it's all gross. It's not what I wanted or fans, but it's what the show claims is interesting. I don't approve, but it'll be over in a few paragraphs. Hopefully the woman voted off finds love in a better way - or at least gets a guaranteed spot on Bachelor in Paradise. Off my soapbox, back onto the snark box. See you next week.

May 18, 2015

The Bachelorette: Team Kaitlyn, Team Britt, Team Cupcake Car?

Week 1 - Part 1

Let's kick off this season of women empowerment with two women having to battle each other for a chance to stick around for love! Chris Harrison explains all the men they auditioned were torn between the two, as if production actually cares who they're most attracted too. Remember when Bentley was cast for Ashley's season but was there for Emily? Exactly. I'm all for the 2-on-1 dates mid-season, but to do this night one seems unfair. And so two women get into two separate limos, one dressed in white, one in black because SYMBOLISM, and arrive at the mansion with the slicked up driveway.

Now if you're wondering what idiots signed up for this, let's meet them. Jonathan is the hot single dad from Detroit. Joe has a bizarrely proportioned head. Josh has tiny eyes, studying for the bar exam, and moonlights as a stripper - I shall officially call him Magic Josh. Brady is an aspiring singer/songwriter that has the visual appeal of someone who should definitely be writing the songs behind the scenes. Joshua looks like Chris Lambert from Ali's season, and he lives out in farmland like good ol' Chris Soules but he's a welder that can make iron roses. Ian was a former runner who nearly died in a car crash, but he can run again. Tony is a healer who kisses his bonzai trees (not a euphemism). Ben Z has the sad backstory of a deceased mom. And Jared is just no. A few of the guys are there for Britt, but most have common sense and are there for Kaitlyn.

After awkward interlude with Chris Harrison, the girls stand 15 feet apart from each other to let the competition begin. The first limo crew is pre-dominantly Team Britt, leading to many uncomfortable moments as one woman watches over another woman getting fawned over. Nothing strokes the self esteem more than hearing a guy tell the girl next to you, "I came here specifically for you." But fear not Kaitlyn fans AKA everyone else, more guys start to show up there for the funny girl. But who cares about this stuff, let's discuss the completely moronic entrances. Who knew a hockey puck was what it would take to break the ice, as JJ wants to "puck" Kaitlyn. Other guys dance, dress in dumb tennis outfits, and Magic Josh strips. Shawn E wins the night as he arrives in a hot tub car, yes a convertible that is a hot tub, but drunk Ryan (more below) ruins the moment. Chris the dentist makes a "sweet" entrance in his cupcake car. Ugh, I'm hungry now.

The guys are all a little weirded out by the process of having to date two women while also competing with 25 guys. Kaitlyn ducks out halfway to say hi to the guys inside, which Britt doesn't like because it's not "fair." Neither is this head-to-head concept, but I'm not a producer. Kaitlyn kicks off the night with one of her trademark jokes, then Britt makes a speech. Then the fight for time with the women begins. As the men get to know Britt and Kaitlyn, some opinions change. Though one man's heart lies with one man: Chris Harrison, who he drew riding a triceratops. It's all fun until Chris Harrison comes out: the men will have to cast a vote via rose in a box to choose which woman stays and becomes The Bachelorette. The voting boxes look like little coffins with a rose hole perfectly cut into the top for the drop in. I need one of these boxes next to a portrait of me (with Chris Harrison?) riding a triceratops.

The voting and campaigning begin. "Right now they're in the hot seat and we're good," some douchey guy explains. No you're in there world, guy. This is The Bachelorette. But it's true both women are worried and hoping to get that majority vote so they can continue this journey. Shawn E confronts drunk Ryan for ruining his hot tub carpool entrance, but he's blackout to the point of not recalling being that guy. Ryan finally gets his alone time with Britt, so the guys try to save her from the slurring. Points to the guy who tries the "Hey, the bartender has a drink for you" line. Almost worked! But when he gets handsy and touches Kaitlyn's butt, all bets are off. Kaitlyn is offended and the guys don't appreciate that dirtbag behavior either. Ryan continues the franchise drunk cliche but stripping down to his underwear and getting into the pool, followed by knocking lamps over and throwing his precious rose vote against the wall. We reach an impressive point in Bachelor franchise history as a bouncer/bodyguard retrieves Ryan because Chris Harrison wants to talk to him. That's because you NEVER betray Chris Harrison's roses. Chris tells him it's clear he's not there for the girls, so Ryan gives one last smirk to the camera, and goes away.

The night continues on in a much smooth fashion now that drunko is gone. The roses are dropped into their coffins, seemingly split between the women. Minds are changing as each gets to know the women based off more than their initial appearance - who'd a thunk it? There's some debate between the guys about who should be picked, with guys hoping that their choice is the one picked. The rose coffins are ominously and we'll have to wait until tomorrow to know who will be our next Bachelorette.

May 17, 2015

Survivor Worlds Apart: Extra Votes, Immunity Idols, and All the Fixins

5/17/2015 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 12

The Reward Challenge of the week has two teams of three racing through an obstacle course to eventually release a word puzzle. The winners get a ride in a helicopter, ending with a surf and turf dinner. Living the DREAM. Nay, the HREAM. Rodney bitches about needing a reward, so Probst asks if it's entitlement that he deserves the reward. Cue the reminder that Rodney deserved to be handed a reward for his birthday. What seems like a breeze to us viewers is a total brain stumper of a puzzle with everyone baffled of what it could spell, taking over an hour to complete the challenge. The puzzle is ALWAYS about the fixins, so Probst drops a bunch of heavy-handed hints until Carolyn realizes it's "A reward with all the fixins." Once she's won the reward, Carolyn has another Sophie's Choice moment of deciding whether to keep her reward or sacrifice it for birthday crybaby Rodney. She keeps it because, HELLO, helicopter. While inhaling steak, Mike pitches to Will a final three deal with him and Carolyn. All three collars! And beating Will is a shoo in for anyone. Will expresses as much interest as you'd expect which is zero because he's essentially just existing in this game.

"Surf and turf is my favorite meal," Rodney laments while complaining about Mama C taking yet another reward from him. Dude, win one and then you can eat. Desperate for food, Dan finds some sort of fruit in the jungle and it's unfortunately not poisonous and instead makes Rodney overly happy. Dan, Sierra, and Rodney vow to get Mike out, then Carolyn. When Mike returns from the reward, he tries to sway Sierra to his side, citing the horrendous prospect of a Dan, Will, Rodney final three. Mike speaks the words of the people but his chances of survival are low if he doesn't win immunity. But it's good thing so many people can't throw a grappling hook and complete a table maze. Only Sierra is close enough to defeating Mike, but he comes through in a clutch moment again and saves himself. Sorry suckers!

With Mike safe, everyone has to play the game and not just take out the easy target. The target shifts over to Carolyn AKA Mama C AKA the only other person really playing this game. To Dan's face they agree to vote Carolyn, but behind his back they're all willing to vote off Dan because he has an advantage. Knowing that everyone actually wants Dan gone makes Mike interested in messing it all up, though of course Dan can't stand Mike and listens to nothing. As Sierra and Carolyn talk, Mike shimmies in to point out that the men are voting for one of them and their sleeping in the shelter is proof that they super comfortable with their position. Carolyn doesn't want to play her idol, but there's also only one more shot to use to it.

Tribal Council time! Mike knows he's the common enemy, but he's still in it so ha ha. Rodney's brain can't put together words any more because he's hungry. This lack of coherence eventually, I think, is something about trusting each other. Carolyn admits being nervous that she could receive votes, if not go home tonight. Dan isn't sure when it's time to make a big move, which Rodney points out that the advantage can be used to strong arm the others into keeping him safe. When Jeff says he's going to go tally the votes, Dan stops him to play his extra vote advantage. Sensing that something could happen (hey Dan, maybe be less suspicious about adding in an extra vote), Carolyn plays her idol to be safe. The Carolyn votes come pouring out, but they're null and void. Out come two votes for Dan and BUH BYE.

May 12, 2015

Reality Rundown: Stop Everything You're Doing, It's Rodney's Birthday

5/12/2015 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 11

Screw the game everyone, it's Rodney's birthday! The true celebration should happen at the Reward, where two teams of three round around the maypole apparently to get keys, build a ladder, unlock balls, and launch the balls into targets. In a schoolyard pick, useless-in-challenges Will isn't picked at all so he can't go on this reward. Mike is totally stubborn in the final fall launch, but it somehow pays off. Mike, Carolyn, and Sierra win the reward of delivering a truck of bicycles and other fun stuff to the locals, but you know Rodney is like, "That ain't a birthday cake." Along with paying it forward, the three get to grub on some delicious barbecue. Rodney makes a plea to maybe get someone to give him the prize citing, but his own case of "a once in a lifetime experience" is the reason why the others want to keep the reward for themselves. That's right, your birthday means jack in the grand scheme of the game. Time for Rodney to pout at camp.

Pout is an understatement, as Rodney throws a pissed off tantrum on the beach about being betrayed and doing dishes on his birthday. Rodney apologizes to the guys, but then rips into Mama C to the guys. When Dan says you're in the bad, you know you're doing something wrong. The new plan is Rodney is going to pretend he wants to quit, then Mike won't play the idol and they'll blindside him. So all night Rodney bitches and moans, but Mike's well aware of what Rodney is attempting to do. Speaking of Mike, Carolyn is warming up to the idea and maybe working with Mike seeing as both of them hold idols. Knowing that Mike will be playing his idol in the next vote, there's consideration that Carolyn might have to use her idol on Tyler, her ally but also biggest threat in the game.

Carolyn definitely doesn't need the idol for herself this week when she wins immunity again. She is really the challenge beast of season 31. Carolyn suggests the guys vote Mike, girls vote Tyler in front of Dan. Dan is concerned that Will voted for him as well (and early revelation that was supposedly water under the bridge), but also holding back his full secret of having the double vote. Meanwhile, Will wants to vote for Dan to which Tyler agrees since Dan has the advantage. Guess writing Dan's name down last Tribal wasn't just because Dan's name was the other mentioned, huh Tyler? Tyler hopes that in this vote they can get rid of the idol and the advantage in the game. Mike holds onto hope that Carolyn will work with him and maybe his days won't be as numbered.

Tribal Council time! Mike is beaming since one of the six will be going home when he plays his idol. He's enjoying having a little bit of power, ready to see someone like Tyler or Dan picked off. Dan talks about how tough it was to see his name written down, especially since it indicated he was the least valued of his alliance. Dan also talks about how everyone has asked about the advantage and that it makes him a target. Sierra claims what'll happen tonight will be shocking. After the votes are cast, Mike plays the idol on himself to nullify all the votes cast against him. Four votes for Mike don't count, but the other votes for Tyler do and he's out of the game. Most surprising: Tyler's ally Carolyn AKA Mama C turned on him, joining Mike to eliminate one of the game's biggest threats.

May 3, 2015

Survivor Worlds Apart: Farewell Queen Shirin

5/03/2015 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 10

In the Reward Challenge, two teams of four have to transport themselves across three sections of sand using four barrels, two planks, and some rope. You can't touch the ground or you have to start over. It's Survivor Hot Lava! Blue team's strategy is laying the barrels on their side, while the red team places their barrels straight up. When it gets down to do-or-die, the blue team even tries barrel rolling which is pretty impressive. I mean, it is Sierra's job afterall. The red team of Tyler, Carolyn, Will, and Dan win the reward. This means a day on a catamaran shoving burgers down their throats and talking shit about Mike.

The reward challenge losers have gotta eat, so they sacrifice another chicken but this time Jenn isn't around to get pissed about it. Rodney mopes about not having "Rodney Time" and always losing opportunities for rewards. Sierra pleads with Rodney to get rid of Tyler sooner rather than later since he's a threat that could win the game. Sierra wants to take Shirin to the end because no one would vote for her (um, have you noticed her three allies on the jury?). Rodney of course doesn't heed this advice, only wanting to eliminate Mike and Shirin before dismantling his six.

For Immunity this week, the survivors have to hold a handle which is attached to 25% of their original starting body weight strung up high on a line. When the survivor drops, they're doused with a big bucket of water. Wet buff contest! Would be a lot cooler if it was Gatorade. There's actually two immunity necklaces this week: one for the longest lasting man and woman. Sierra is the first to drop and get water dumped on her which helps wash away her sweat. Soon Tyler and Will drop as others begin to struggle to keep the weight up. Shirin can't hold on, which secures Carolyn individual immunity. Rodney and Mike battle it out for the men's necklace, with Dan weirdly muttering encouragement to Rodney. But Rodney can't do it and Mike wins immunity.

"Can you imagine if they both won?" Carolyn asks Rodney. The vote is clear and it's Shirin on the chopping block over Mike. Shirin pleads her case to Dan, pointing out she's sucky at challenges and would lose at the end, so be strategic. But we know Dan won't listen given his earlier fake sympathy to Shirin's face, then calling her a drama queen behind her back. Shirin also makes an offer to go to the end with Sierra because she has no one and again, easy to beat. Meanwhile, Tyler wonders what Dan's advantage is so he snatches Dan's bag and reveals the contents by tree mail. He now knows Dan's double vote secret, sharing this information with top ally Carolyn. Tyler worries Sierra and Dan could see how tight the four are and use the double vote advantage to take out Tyler. Dan suspects immune Mike will use an idol on Shirin, which would eliminate Dan out of the game. Mike wants to trust Dan again and be allies, but the guy is so irritating that he can't change his mind. But Mike knows Dan is small pickens compared to someone like Tyler. Oh and by small pickens he must mean "easiest person to beat ever."

Tribal Coucil time! Shirin talks about how trust isn't just hard in the game for her, but in life given a distant relationship with his mother. Dan says "not to take away from anything that happened" but he's adopted so his life is hard too. And Probst is like, "Uhh not the same." Shirin reiterates that while people said they felt bad for what happened to Shirin, no one seemed to tell Will it was wrong. Shirin continues to tell it like it is, pointing out that she's not a threat and that keeping Tyler is a bad move. He'll snake his way to a cool mill easily. Others caution about making big moves too early that could burn you. Mike pleads with his former Blue Collars to vote for Tyler. Tyler defends himself, insisting to be patient and wait until the six and play. Even Probst is against this, explaining if you're on the bottom of course you'd make a move. It's pointed out that the alliance wasn't always six but seven, and Mike is the one who blew that. Given the two "desperate" people left, Mike pulls out his Hidden Immunity Idol and shows Shirin. Mike calls everyone out to make a move against their allies.Shirin will vote for Tyler, Mike will for someone else randomly... so who will the six turn on? It's such a baller move and puts it all out there. But then Mike doesn't play the idol at all - PSYCH OUT. It didn't work... Shirin is voted out. Bad news: we lose Shirin. Good news: two votes were cast for Dan, showing the group is already ready to sacrifice one of their own.

April 26, 2015

Survivor Worlds Apart: Shizz Gets Real at the Survivor Auction

4/26/2015 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 9

This week on Survivor features one of my favorite parts of every season: the Survivor auction! Everyone is given $500 to bid on food and other simple pleasures, or as the latest seasons have escalated: hold all your money to bid on an advantage. But this auction shows it means boss immediately after Will bids on a covered item, which ends up immediately kicking him out of the auction and sends him back to camp alone. I laughed so hard. But when he returns to camp alone he gets the easiest clue ever that says "Dig" with an X marking the spot (not to mention a flagged stick in the ground). He ended up winning a personal stash of rations to last the game which he can share or keep secret. Will decides to share it to win favor and show no hard feelings... until later, but I'll get to that.

But back to the auction. When I see a plate of chicken and waffles I begin to drool and know my response to that would be, "$500, Jeff!" Shirin walks away with the food for $300, while Jenn wins a big cocktail, Sierra a plate of kebabs, and Rodney has a glass of red wine along with a steak. Carolyn, Mike, and Dan avoid all the delicious temptation, hoarding their $500 for the advantage that will likely be up for bid. But when letters from home are offered up, Shirin explains that Probst usually lets everyone buy the letter for whatever the offer is. Sierra buys for $20 a pop, so everyone else agrees to the letters including Mike, Dan, and Carolyn. But when the time comes to pick up his letter, Mike lingers in the back of the pack, turns around,and keeps all his money. SLICK MOVE! Well Carolyn is not having it returns her letter for a refund. Realizing this is the worst social move (if not totally baller), Mike pays the $20 so it's all even and fair and bleckh. The advantage is in a wooden box and Dan, Carolyn, and Mike are all in for $480. They draw rocks to see who wins it and Dan wins it. It's anti-climactic to watch, especially moreso when a doofus like Dan gets it.

The reason Mike was going all-out for the advantage is that he earlier overhead Rodney tell his sub-alliance of three that he is gunning for Mike. Instead of letting this fester, Mike confronts Rodney at camp at the moment everyone is preparing to read their letters from home. A lot of people on the tribe consider this a violation of the sacred moment of family time, so Mike is now the camp pariah. Rodney immediately uses this to his advantage and begins buttering up Dan for his vote. Or votes. You see, Dan's advantage is he has earned a second vote at any future Tribal Council he wants. All he has to do is announce it before Probst says, "I'll go tally the votes." I'd love a loophole where Dan can never use it because Probst never says the word "tally" again. Anyways, this gives Dan a fair amount of voting power as he could double up votes on one person, or cast votes for two different people. But the biggest camp disaster of all is Will going OFF on Shirin in the most horrendous way possible, after it's relayed to Will that Jenn, Mike, and Shirin thought he didn't share all his food. Will's outburst is really personal saying no one at home loves Shirin. Shirin survived a home life of domestic violence, so hearing this is beyond repulsive and so personal. This motivates Jenn to want to stick around to really screw over the people she hates, the turds being horrible to Shirin.

At the Immunity Challenge, Will asks Probst if he can sit out of this week's Immunity Challenge in order to receive his letter from home. New-school Probst is apparently always open to negotiations now and will allow it, but everyone on the tribe must agree to it. "Doesn't anybody reject?" Shirin raises her hand LIKE A BOSS. Revenge is sweet for our new Ice Queen Shirin. So Will has no letter and still has to participate in the challenge, which he'd lose anyways because he's horrible at challenges. The challenge is to carry a ball with big tongs across teeter totters, setting the balls into some candelabra looking thing. Mike and Tyler are the two frontrunners but a dropped ball crushes Tyler's chances, allowing Mike to take his time and secure immunity.

While Will would like to eliminate Shirin because he can't stand her, Jenn is a bigger competitor and therefore the better target. Mike, Jenn, and Shirin have become a trio all of a sudden and agree to go after Carolyn AKA Mama C. The swing vote concern lies with Sierra and Dan, so Mike talks to Dan about that other foursome being tight. "Flippers never win" Dan doesn't buy for a second that the alliance of seven is imploding, because he has no common sense and/or this overwhelming desire to believing in loyalty. Mike reminds Dan that the two of them have been tight since day one while everyone else is using him to their advantage. Tyler brings up the group questioning Dan, he gets red-faced and flustered, insisting he makes his own destiny. Everyone wants Dan on their side and everyone is terrified of which side he'll chose.

Tribal Council time! Earlier Will said to bring popcorn because it'll be the best Tribal ever, so he opens up right away about the secret food stash drama that happened at camp. Shirin points out that the food argument lasted a hot second before Will turned super personal, leading her to tear up. As Shirin opens up about her emotional past, Will keeps saying he didn't attack her personally and all I want is for someone to say, "STFU, Will. You are awful." The Blue Collars talk about how they were tight for a long time but the time is coming to turn on each other to win. Mike uses his time to bring up the alliance of four and that they'll walk all the way to the end. Rodney uses the emotional appeal, bringing up that Mike was going to deny people letters for a chance to get ahead. Shirin openly discusses that she expects the votes to be split between herself and Jenn, with Dan and Sierra being the swing. The other side denies that Dan and Sierra are swing votes, insisting it is a strong six. Basically, this Tribal Council is an emotional mess and I have no idea what's going to happen. And then Jenn gets eliminated, meaning all those turds remain in the game. Ugh, are we supposed to like who will end up winning this season because it seems REAL hard right now.

April 20, 2015

Survivor Worlds Apart: Goodbye Glorious Manbun

4/20/2015 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 8

The survivors are split into two teams for the Reward Challenge, crossing obstacles in the ocean and then retrieving rings. The winners get to trip to the Chocolate Cafe AKA Product Placement City. Everyone gets a single M&M as inspiration to fight for a prize of Snickers. One whole M&M! Probst spoils them, though everyone plays into this moment of ecstasy with their most exaggerated looks of delight. The survivors are wet and slippery so of course there's lots of face plants down platforms and squeaky slips. Will's wonderful slip, fall, whatever has become my go-to GIF of the week. In a big comeback, Mike, Dan, Tyler, Shirin, and Sierra win their chocolate fix. Snickers, Twix, Dove, M&Ms, and more - it's like a melted chocolate dream come true.

Back at camp, the losers decide to kill a chicken because it's almost as good as a Twix bar (I'm lying. Chicken won't cue your Twix fix). Rodney uses this time to charm everyone (me included!) with his phenomenal Mike impression, which cracks everyone up and shows that maybe the alliance isn't as tight as assumed. It's definitely true as Rodney has been pondering when the best time to flip on his alliance, explaining that flippers can win, they just have to flip at the right time. Jenn is the Debbie Downer at camp, sad and lonely after the tribe voted off her BFF Hali. She hates who she lives with, doesn't want the chickens slaughtered, and is ready to bid adieu to the game. Set on leaving, Jenn tells Joe that if she wins the immunity challenge she'll give him her necklace.

The Immunity Challenge is for the survivors to balance on their tippy toes with a block on their head, keeping that block steady against the top of the contraption they're standing on. It's a great endurance challenge, requiring some physicality but also a mind-over-matter concentration. Joe's manbun needed to be a little lower, as he loses his first individual immunity challenge. Tyler, Mike, and Jenn are the final three, so Probst reminds us it's fitting to have one of each collar left (not really). Jenn is so close, but Tyler wins individual immunity.

Joe is sure he's going, but a plan masterminded by Shirin would help Jenn get her way to go home. Since the big seven will probably split the votes out of fear of an idol, Shirin will vote to force a tie between Joe and Jenn and get her out of the game. Mike hopes Shirin will vote their way and allow the biggest thread to be eliminated, which Shirin really ponders since she's started to make ins with Mike and Sierra for a new alliance. To hopefully keep the votes away from him, Joe runs out into the woods pretending to search for the idol but instead hand-crafting a fake one - and it's so good looking! Joe's real-life profession of a jewelry designer has never been so handy. Joe haggles with Mike: make the votes go my way and I'll give you the idol. Mike proposes something different: give me the idol beforehand and I will switch. While Mike has the idol from Joe's clue, he considers that it's always possible that Joe possesses one of the billion other hidden idols from pre-merge.

Tribal Council time! Jenn does enjoy being there, but also hates it. She admits she would've given individual immunity idol to Joe just to piss the others off. "I want to be here. I want to play." Joe says, pointing out that Jenn wants to quit and could get dragged along just because she's not into it. Jenn insists she's not quitting, nor would she quit because she's not a quitter even if she's asking to be voted off. Before the voting, Mike asks Probst if he can verify an immunity idol. The answer is no, because it could impact the game (and in the best way possible). After the votes are cast, Mike does play the "Hidden Immunity Idol" for Will - except it ain't real. Sadly the plan doesn't pan out and the beautifully coiffed Joe is out of the game.