June 19, 2017

The Bachelorette: Blimps and Bees

6/19/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 4

Picking up from the last episode, it's still the cocktail party and many guys are making excellent impressions with Rachel. But then there's Lee, the instigator who after antagonizing Eric decides to interrupt Kenny's alone time to show Rachel that he can carve words into wood. Dean points out Lee's "intolerance" but its not dwelled on much because Kenny is more upset by having his time interrupted. Rachel is feeling a lot of pressure being the first black Bachelorette and let down by the men's drama, pretty annoyed by the whole evening. She calls the Rose Ceremony to order and explains the good conversations helped her get through the nonsense occurring that night. Diggy and some other guy I don't know don't receive roses.

The AirBnB rental of the Bachelor mansion is up, so Rachel and her men head to Hilton Head, South Carolina for the next round of dates. Dean gets the first 1-on-1 date where they get to ride in the freakin' Good Year blimp. Blimps are a dream for Rachel, but a nightmare for height-hater Dean who slightly loses his mind. Nothing a little hand holding (and kissing) from Rachel can't help. Plus the Good Year blimp flies by to inform the men that this is in fact Rachel and Dean's super awesome date. Rachel and Dean move along to the quiet dinner portion, where he talks about his mother passing away from breast cancer and dear god is it sad. But wipe those tears away because there's a concert for Rachel, Dean, and cheering women by a random country singer to close out the night.

Still nursing the wounds of the Good Year blimp's sick burn on them, the group date card arrives to invite men out for a boat ride. The group imbibes some cocktails via Krazy Straw which leads to some poor dancing, poor rapping, a makeshift Limbo competition, and then the guys showing off how many pushups they can do. Rachel also re-enacts the "King of the World" Titanic moment, a true staple of sailing. But this is all just a lead-up to departing the boat to compete in a spelling bee, judged by children. If you're wondering, some of these guys are terrible at spelling (Peter, you won't have coitus if you can't spell it). Josiah wins the spelling bee with the final word of "polyamorous" and the most amount of time BSing. 

The date still goes on with a night portion, which Josiah move along from kissing to sipping booze from his trophy. Rachel and Peter continue to grow closer, with her being open to the idea of moving to Wisconsin. She also enjoys time with Eric and sharing her love of cleaning (he likes hugs). Continuing his streak of being that guy who has nothing to talk about but other guys, Iggy tells Rachel that Josiah isn't right for her. Continuing the streak of throwing men under the bus, Lee babbles on about his argument with Kenny. And so Kenny has to follow-up another meh freestyle with defending the shouting match he had with Lee. Kenny feels worried that Rachel doesn't believe his side and heads inside to get Lee. So, this is how the first 30 minutes will begin next week? Wonderful.



[All images credited to ABC]


June 5, 2017

The Bachelorette: Never Have I Ever Blogged About Horse Poop and Bananas

6/05/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 3

Picking up where last week left off, DeMario returned to the Bachelorette mansion to tell his side of the left-my-kinda-girlfriend-to-be-on-reality-TV story. Rachel agrees to hear him out and DeMario explains he screwed up and should have been honest. Unfortunately, Rachel isn't accepting bullshit or allowing him back in the house. She tells him to move forward, but forward isn't into the mansion (but it's probably forward to Bachelor in Paradise). Now back to cocktail party and rose ceremony nonsense!

Johnathan the "tickle monster" charms Rachel with giant foam hands that are probably the size of a five year old child. That's not the last of props a there's a Rubix cube, kid's basketball hoop, and photos of children. But the prop comedy fun has to be paused for the never-ending rivalry of Blake and Whaboom Lucas, which is an accusation that Blake ate a peeled banana over a sleeping Lucas. Well Blake doesn't eat carbs so this is total blasphemy according to him. I can't get over that Rachel, an accomplished woman and attorney looking for love, has to deal with two grown men antagonizing each other about eating bananas. It's a surprise only to the two of them that they are both eliminated at the Rose Ceremony because Rachel doesn't have time for banana BS. Outside the mansion, Blake and Lucas get into a shouting match with a lot of pantomiming and weird voices.

Rachel brings the six group date guys to see her appear as a guest on The Ellen Degeneres show but surprise, they're going to be on Ellen too! As everyone anticipated, the guys have to dance shirtless to a fake version of Ginuwine's "Pony" (guess they blew the episode's budget on Ellen's appearance fee). To get more dirt about the guys, Ellen has them play "Never Have I Ever" and Rachel appreciates getting the answers, including Alex admitting to peeing in the pool, all the nude selfies texted, and that Fred hooked up with a much older woman. The date moves along to their night cocktail party, where Fred realizes he's real behind the ball in terms of kissing Rachel. And so Fred asks her to kiss, then goes in for the kiss - it's not as good as he thinks. Rachel doesn't reciprocate the feelings for Fred, still viewing him as the kid from camp years ago, and lets him go. The group date rose goes to Alex, who charmed Rachel with their conversation and keen skills to notice Rachel makes eye contact with his left eye.

Anthony goes on the 1-on-1 date to ride horses down fancy-schmancy Rodeo Drive. Stores desperate for good PR allow Rachel and Anthon to ride their horses into the stores and of course a horse poops inside a boutique. Blame it on the Sprinkles Cupcake ATM horse cupcakes (which are allegedly a thing). Later the couple shares a romantic evening under the stars with an amazing view of LA behind them. Anthony talks about his childhood and feeling rich with love, which makes him want to be a great dad too. Rachel loves how brave Anthony was to ride a horse on Rodeo Drive for the first time and open up to her; he gets the date rose. A random quartet is up in the hills with them to serenade them for dancing and kissing. Classic Bachelorette.

Rachel's friends from last season stayed in town a little bit longer than the first episode so that they could help plan the final group date of the week: mud wrestling. The bar is full of rowdy women cheering to see the men get shirtless and wrastle, so it's basically what went down at Ellen but with physical fighting. While Kenny the professional wrestler was the assumed shoo-in for the battle, it's some rando named Bryce with that wins. But in a dance off, Kenny's gotta win because he reveals he used to be a Chippendale's dancer. Rachel asks her girls about who they like (Dean) and who are they not sure about (Eric). Rachel gets to talk to Eric, who has been really insecure about their connection and it moving slow; Rachel reassures him of their connection. But where Eric gets really upset is the accusations by Bryce and Lee that maybe he's not here for Rachel. Eric ends up getting the group date rose and this might be the beginning of a new rivalry.

Come cocktail party/rose ceremony time though, it's time for the men to tattle. Iggy got yelled at by Eric, so he tells Rachel that Eric questioned if she was genuine. Lee hops along and tells Rachel about the yelling. Rachel talks to Eric and asks him straight up if he questions her being genuine, especially after she felt good after their group date talk. Rachel warns that she's on high alert but believes him for now. Eric returns to call a group meeting which starts as "focus on Rachel" and turns into "my name is in your mouth!" Oh boy, drama time... buuuut to be continued until next week.


[All images credited to ABC]


May 29, 2017

The Bachelorette: Husband Material and Puppy Love

5/29/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 2

The first date card of the season is for a group date to find "husband material." Well Whaboom was invited, so that seems like a stretch. Rachel brings the guys out to the "Husband Material Challenge" obstacle course with a surprise: Bachelor fans/celebrity supercouple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are hosting! Ashton and Mila are so into being on this date, with Ashton insistent that none of the guys on this date will be Rachel's final pick. The obstacle course is pretty hilarious, having the change a poopy baby, vaccum while holding the baby, cleaning out clogged drains (and nearly drowning the baby dolls), and setting a table. Unfortunately, Whaboom Lucas wins and basically all he wants is a celeb to say his stupid catchphrase. Hard no from Ashton.

In terms of location, the night portion is so cool with this lounge surrounded by old video games, lawn chairs, etc. Actually, it might just be a prop wearhouse. But it's still cool. Rachel is surprised Lucas was so into winning the challenge, which included pushing Kenny out of the way to win, and even more shocked by the poem he wrote for her. But guys, Blake says from a previous "encounter" (AKA another reality show they were both on) he knows Lucas is fake and not here for the right reasons. Not to mention, Blake's roommate used to date him. Rachel's pretty bored by the convos with her guys which is showing zero luck for romantic prospects. Thankfully, things turn around with Dean who infamously said "Once you go black you never go back." Rachel's disappointed she didn't get to say that first, but her convo with Dean is natural and fun amongst a night of duds. She also hits it off with wrestler/single dad Kenny. Rachel gives the group date rose to Dean, who offers to walk her to her car and then ends the night with a romantic kiss. So the group date wasn't a total flop!

Peter gets the first 1-on-1 date card but he's not alone with Rachel: Copper the dog is joining! The trio board a private jet to Palm Springs and drive to Barkfest, with the most adorable doggos ever having a great time. Rachel and Peter hit it off, and most importantly Copper likes him. After Barkfest, it's off to a private dinner complete with a dog bed for Copper. He might be the first in existence to eat on a Bachelorette date. Rachel asks what Peter's parents think about him going on this show and they're so supportive. They also discuss a common trait they share: gap teeth. Also seeking therapy to help with their relationship problems and questions. Rachel is so excited to feel romance and an amazing connection with someone. Rachel gives Peter the date rose and they share a kiss, then head outside to watch fireworks just for them (with more kissing). No idea if Copper was a fan of the fireworks.

Rachel brings in NBA legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar to put the men through some basketball drills and training. But training isn't great TV (except when DeMario dunked on Rachel) so the guys are split into two teams to compete in front of a crowd. And they're horrible. Like really bad. But there's teamwork! And Chris Harrison randomly appears to be the game's announcer. After the game, fans come up to get pictures and talk to Rachel, but there's a lingerer named Lexi who has some important news. Turns out DeMario, who Rachel is totally smitten with, is this girl's boyfriend. No breakup; just ghosted and went on national television to date Rachel. Rachel is shocked because DeMario's a guy she's pretty been pretty into. DeMario's jaw is dropped as Lexi goes off on him and he tries to defend himself. There's questions of if keys were returned, when contact ended... it's a mess. Rachel isn't buying DeMario's side of the story and the text messages only a bigger grave. Rachel isn't here to be made a fool of and dumps DeMario on the spot.

Despite a rough day on the courts, the group date persists on for cocktails. Rachel worries that there are more guys with bad intention there but the guys step up to show they care for her. This group date has far better conversations than the husband material date. Josiah comforts Rachel and they share a kiss, but Alex makes Rachel crack up with some awkward singing. Eric gets a smooch in too. It's Josiah that gets the group date rose after the deep conversation they shared. And that's what we call a slam dunk ending.

Fast forward to the next night where Rachel wears a gorgeous black gown with gold trim to the cocktail party. First impression rose Bryan didn't have a date but grabs time with Rachel right away to kiss, catch up, and give her a relaxing message. But there's not much time to relax when a guy shows up at the front gate hoping to talk to Rachel: it's DeMario! He wants to apologize so Chris Harrison is off to relay the message. A curious Rachel heads to the front gates but we'll have to wait until next week to hear the conversation.

[All images credited to ABC]


Survivor Game Changers: Sarah is the Sole Survivor

5/29/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 12 - Finale

After the ridiculous Tribal Council, Sarah confronts Cirie about her trying to steal her advantage and eventually Tai admits that he in fact did try to target Sarah. Cirie spoke the truth! Since this finale is kicking off with six people, it's pretty rapid fire. Brad wins the maze/puzzle Immunity Challenge as well as a reward, where he indulges in chicken parm and game talk with Troyzan and Sarah. The three decide to target Aubry who is a bigger challenge threat, but Brad reveals he's going to force Tai to play and idol at this vote. Not just that, after Tai's confession to Brad that he has two idols, Brad demands Tai give him one of the idols so he pull any funny business at Tribal Council, but in an intense and controlling way. Tai doesn't appreciate being bossed around and treated like garbage, so he decides to regain control; he tells Aubry about his idol, and ponders joinging with Aubry and Cirie (except he doesn't trust Cirie). Everyone begins to worry about Tai since word gets out he's packin' two idols.


Tribal Council time! Probst asks about the crazy previous Tribal Council and Tai feels everyone lies, but he took all the blame. Sarah explains Tai is taking the heat because he doesn't take accountability. Most think Tai can't recover from this error, which Brad says "buyer beware" if you try to work with him. The group votes and Probst brings back the urn and Tai makes his big move: he plays one idol on himself, and then one on Aubry. They're immune. THEN, Sarah busts out her Legacy Advantage which could only be played when there were 13 or 6 players in the game. She's immune. Troyzan hopes on the #ImmunityTrain and plays his Hidden Immunity Idol. He's immune. Brad has Individual Immunity. This means that Cirie is the only player without immunity and therefore automatically eliminated, despite not a single vote in that jug being for her. Probst gives the Survivor icon a salute on the way out, allowing her to give a speech about this game being a life changer for her. Oh Cirie, you shall be missed!


The final five try to maneuver balls on paddles through obstacles and Brad completely slaughters the challenge to win Immunity again. Aubry sees the writing on the wall but doesn't give up, trying to flip the game. Brad and Troyzan are a tight twosome which means they can't bring both Sarah and Tai to the end; one of them is gonna get axed. Aubry encourages them to increase their odds of getting to the final three and vote off Troyzan. Sarah and Tai ponder this offer, agree to vote off Aubry, then Tai reconsiders because Brad's bossing him around again. Come Tribal Council, Aubry is all smiles knowing her fate is probably sealed. Everyone is living day-by-day to get to day 39. Aubry reiterates that Brad and Troyzan will be taking up final 3 spots if either of them wins the next immunity. Sarah points out that who to keep and send to the jury is different for each person and they'll all be keeping that in mind when voting. Troyzan is sure he can beat everyone, while others have a bit more modesty. And so it is with a heavy heart that I have to report that Aubry is voted out. Once again, I'm so amazed and proud of my friend - a true Game Changer.

Aubry's prophecy is correct and Brad wins Immunity one last time (joining the Survivor Immunity Five Timers Club), meaning him and Troyzan are cruising together to the final three. But will Sarah or Tai join them? Oh, hands down it's Sarah as Brad wants to knock out the person who has betrayed him the most. Tai knows he's screwed over Brad so many times that he's doomed, so he suggests Sarah to force a tie and head to a fire battle against Troyzan. Sarah considers the benefits of who is better to take to the final Tribal Council. At Tribal Council, Brad rolls up dressed in a burlap sack like he's Dobby the house elf but with the aggressive attitude of a Malfoy. Sarah and Tai are on the chopping block, but Tai still hopes a tie could happen. The possibility of a tie surprises Troyzan but hey, it's Game Changers! Ultimately, there's no tie and no more Tai, as he's voted off in a 3-1 vote.

Brad, Troyzan, and Sarah enjoy their day 39 feast before heading to Final Tribal Council to argue their case for a million dollars and the title of Sole Survivor. This season's jury is a bit of a Game Changer, turning the jury more into a discussion forum centered around the 3 elements that make up the game: Outwit, Outplay, Outlast. Goodbye rehearsed speeches! This allows for a more organic conversation to flow around the game, the moves, and betrayals made by the final 3. Many feel betrayed hardest by Sarah as she made very personal bonds, but Sarah explains as a cop she goes undercover and takes a new identity and did the same in this game. The key to Sarah's game is she controlled it all and never voted wrong, she paid attention to detail (finding the Secret Advantage) and used it to move ahead. Ozzy and Debbie really appreciate the game Brad played as a large target alpha male that won challenges to get him to the end, but others feel he failed to make personal relationships. His social game comes into question with the way he dealt with Tai near the end, and he explains it was intentional manipulation. Other felt Sierra ran Brad's game and while he agrees they worked together, he also stresses pivotal game moves he made (AKA JT's Tribal Council flub). Troyzan explains he might not have pulled the strings but was involved with the strategy, but ultimately is just happy to be in the final three and thankful to each person on the jury for his experience. The votes are cast and then...

We're live! It's the reunion show and by a 7-3 vote, Sarah is named the Sole Survivor. Sarah says she was inspired by Tony's game to switch up the way she played before to instead win this time. Plus she got permission from family, work, etc to play balls to the wall, though she doesn't love that she had to betray so many people. Probst is obsessed with the idea that Brad made the wrong choice choosing Sarah over Tai (who he apologizes to). Turns out it maybe would've been a tie and then we'd have to go to the first ever tiebreaker. The big reveal: in the case of a Final Tribal Council tie, the finalist not a part of the tie joins the jury and casts the vote to win. While it's interesting to know this fact, I'm a little bummed it was revealed in a moment like this rather than making it a future epic TV moment should it happen. After this, Probst does rapid fire check-in questions with people, with Cirie encouraging people to "get off the couch" which has become her irritating catchphrase. There's a focus on Zeke's outing and the positive conversation it generated in the fan community. Sandra will do what it takes to win, Cochran is just the universal Survivor crush, and Sierra followed her heart to reveal her advantage to Sarah which was her worst move. And the jury liked the new format!

Next season is revealed to be Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers, which we'll need to call Triple H because it's a mouthful. See you in the fall for another season!

One last piece of business: Pre-Show Winner Prediction trophies! Congratulations to the following for their correct pick of Sarah to win the whole thing.









[All images credited to CBS]


May 22, 2017

The Bachelorette: Rachel Meets 31 Men and 1 Terrifying Dummy

5/22/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 1

To the delight of everyone, Rachel Lindsay is this season's Bachelorette and since she's so great I can only hope this season will live up to her awesomeness. She's also the first African American Bachelorette and it's about damn time. Rachel is a trial lawyer and feels like she's neglected her love life in favor of her career, and dating Nick Viall on television helped her be open to love again. With her adorable doggo Copper in tow, Rachel gets some advice from some of her former Bachelor gal pals which includes Corinne, Alexis the dolphin shark, Raven, and some girls you barely remember but are probably all Bachelor in Paradise castmembers. The girls encourage Rachel to give every guy a shot, regardless of their horrible costume or one-liners. Rachel is a skeptic by nature but knows she just has to "let herself fall" per the sage wisdom of Raven. Hugs and kisses and Rachel's gotta bounce to get get glammed up for her big night. And by the way, obsessed with her dress which is like sparkly shattered glass.

Per tradition, I'm skipping over the packaged videos and heading right into the good stuff: limo entrances. Chris Harrison extends his puppet arms to hug Rachel and express his hosting excitement in bold gestures. And then the limos start rolling in! Now plenty of people make normal one-liner entrances... and others go the flashy route. Let's focus on them. Kenny does the classic electricity dance move with Rachel while Will exits the limo as Urkel impression before re-entering in his dapper suit. Brady's literal ice breaker includes a sledgehammer and a block of ice. Aspiring drummer Blake E already met Rachel on After the Final Rose so he needed to make a more flashy entrance, or better than the video package intro where he constantly talks about his penis. Fred busts out his elementary school yearbook where he reveals he went to school with (and knew Rachel) in the past. Self-described tickle monster lives up to his "job title" and then Lee lamely sings with his guitar (#1 Bachelor entrance cliche). Alex brings a vacuum, Milton takes a Polaroid selfie, Matt dresses like a penguin, and Grant gets dropped off by an ambulance. Lucas arrives to force feed his "Whaboom" catchphrase to Rachel and the world, going so far as to wear a t-shirt of himself shouting said shitty catchphrase. But the scariest of them all is Adam who brings "Adam Jr", a terrifying dummy version of himself. I'll never sleep again.

With all the men cramped into the Bachelor mansion because there's so damn many of them, everyone sizes each other up while pulling the nonstop hover and interrupt game to get time with Rachel. They're also doing their best to avoid Adam Jr, the terrifying dummy that the show has given a French voiceover and sad piano music. Rachel humors the Whaboom guy's annoying antics, but there's a few guys she's clearly not into (purring guy). However, there a plenty of guys Rachel digs because a good convo hooks her. Josiah is the first to snag alone time, sharing how his bad teen behavior led him to becoming a prosecutor. Despite warnings from others to beware of Demario's intentions, Rachel is drawn to him and his charisma. Kenny is a wrestler but opens up about his daughter. Bryan the sexy Columbian chiropractor speaks sweet Spanish nothings to Rachel and pulls her in for a passionate kiss, which ends up scoring him the First Impression Rose... and another kiss.

Chris Harrison comes into the room to clink the glass, which is honestly becoming the most work he does the entire season, and get the Rose Ceremony started. No one really knows how many guys are going to be eliminated since the night started with a massive 31-man headcount (not including Adam Jr. the creepy dummy). In a shocking move, the final rose of the night goes to Lucas AKA Whaboom because I guess we're going to try to force this to happen at least two weeks. So let's just recap some of the guys eliminated by their very limited characterizations: Rob with glasses, Grant the emergency room physician, other Blake, the purring guy, and some others I'll assume. And then get to cry into the early morning sun after their long night tolerating Whaboom guy.


[All images credited to ABC]


May 20, 2017

Survivor Game Changers: Don't Forget to Read the Fine Print

5/20/2017 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 11

There's some rumblings that Sarah might've pandered to Sierra at the last Tribal Council and they're darn right: Sierra willed Sarah the Legacy Advantage. After Aubry totally kills and sets the new Survivor record for the domino/card stacking Immunity Challenge, the majority decides this would be a wise time to vote off Brad (but first, Michaela requests Brad go fishing). There's some consideration about voting off Sarah, but ultimately think this isn't the right time for her to go. And that's because the time is turning on Andrea, whose tight ally Cirie approaches Sarah to blindside her. Tribal Council time! Aubry says after the last vote there's a more solid "we" than before and Sarah agrees with the ol' "if it's not broken, don't fix it." There's discussion about a lack of scrambling on the beach which is both good and bad, according to Andrea. Conversation turns to the jury and while there's hope the jury will reward good gameplay on day 39, there's also real emotions in play and betrayal stings. The tribe votes and blindsides Andrea, whose alliance sends the social and challenge threat to the jury. But not before she gives Cirie a tickle on the way out (not kidding).

Aubry is crushed to yet again lose her tightest ally and her Kaoh Rong friend Tai comforts her. Later, Aubry and Tai have a discussion and agree Sarah is running things and would be that big "resume making" move. Aubry relays this conversation to Cirie, who in turn tells Sarah. Sarah believes Aubry is lying and trusts Tai more, then offers Cirie her advantage as an extension of trust and faith in Tai. Cirie begins hatching a bigger plan to use the advantage to save Sarah, by taking away Sarah's votes and then saving her with the votes. Cirie's afraid Tai will play an idol, so she lets him in on the plan and says she's going to use the advantage to save him. This is all very confusing.

Tribal Council time! With Brad having immunity, Probst wonders what they dynamic at camp was like trying to decide who to vote out. Sarah says this time there was a lot more scheming and lying and this Tribal Council will show her the truth. Lots of talk of trust and moves, and then when it's time to vote Cirie decides to make her big move and play the advantage to steal Sarah's vote and expose "the rat." Sarah interjects! Turns out the vote steal advantage is non-transferable and Cirie didn't see the fine print until it was too late. And so begins Tribal Council chaos. Sarah gets up and whispers to Tai, then Cirie whispers to Sarah and Michaela jumps in. Soon everyone is up and whispering again like a super messy game of Telephone. Sarah opts to use her advantage and steals Tai's vote. Cirie votes for Aubry, Aubry/Michaela vote for Tai, and Sarah uses her two votes to join forces with Brad and Troyzan and votes Michaela out of the game. A big night of blindsides condensed into one hour.

[All images credited to CBS]