July 26, 2016

The Bachelorette: JoJo's Men Tell All About How Much They Hate Chad

7/26/2016 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
The Men Tell All

The reunion begins with the Bachelor in Paradise preview which looks IN-SANE (it starts next week). We need insane after this horrendous season of The Bachelorette. After a long commercial break that had the worst "Bleachable Moment" segment of all time starring last season's twins and forgettable Vinny, the men are all introduced. Wells gets the biggest cheers because he should've been a Bachelor candidate, instead sent off to Paradise to potentially seduce crybaby Ashley I. Chad isn't on stage but don't worry, he's there and will be the sole conversation point of the evening. However the other season instigator, Alex, gets confronted for his bad behavior too. Alex feels he was being honest but the guys felt all his energy was spent on hating Chad or Derek.

Chad is unleashed from his trailer like a wild bull heading into a rodeo, strutting and whistling until he hits the hot seat. He insists everyone hated him because he was real and the rest were fake and aiming for showbiz dreams. Since being on the show, Chad has dated Grant and Robby's exes which I guess is the ultimate long con. Saint Nick takes off his blazer to pretend he's going to fight Chad. I don't know why everyone is trying so hard to be seen - Bachelor in Paradise already filmed! The guys didn't appreciate the guy Chad blew them off and refused to befriend them in any way. Chad spills all the tea like Robby threatened the ex/Chad, Jordan wants to be a sports broadcaster, and lots of other stuff I'm tired of typing. They address the Chad/Evan rivalry which includes showing the actual footage of the bumping and shirt ripping. Did Evan ever get a new shirt? One of life's greatest mysteries. Wells admits the guys antagonized him, but it was deserved. Thirty minutes devoted to Chad because nothing happened this season. 

Conversation finally moves away from Chad and onto JoJo's jilted loves. Luke has to discuss his shocking airport hangar dumping after waiting too long to express his feelings. He still loves JoJo now but realizes he should've been more expressive. Luke has learned to love again which is the ultimate phrase to say if you want to be cast as the Bachelor. And Chris Harrison fishing for answers about Luke looking for love and the opportunity for it only confirms Luke is a top contender even if he's like watching paint dry. Continuing the quest for blandest man on the show, the audience goes crazy for freshly dumped Chase who still can't over getting offered the Fantasy Suite and then dumped in it as soon as he said "I love you." If she knew she wasn't in love with him, why offer him the Bone Zone key? 

Good thing Chase can get some closure when JoJo comes to the hot seat! She admits it's hard to re-watch breaking hearts but learned from her first time getting heartbroken by Ben to be honest and not lead people on. JoJo isn't sure if she heard "I love you" sooner from Luke if it would've changed things, but she knew she had to stick to her gut and eliminate him. Luke is thankful 100x over and keeps rambling so people can be more convinced he should be Bachelor. JoJo tells Chase that if she spent the night with him after "I love you" and dumped him the next day it might've been worse, but does feel bad bringing him to the Fantasy Suite to crush hie dull heart. It's not all kissing JoJo's ass because Chad is still there and hasn't talked in 37 minutes, throwing allll the shade. JoJo dismisses him and moves onto getting her ego stroked by everyone else, except Vinny's mom because for some reason this franchise wants Vinny to happen?  Then Chris Harrison said, "Let there be bloopers!" and we all fake laughed. What a lackluster night to be the penultimate episode to a lackluster season.

Next week: JoJo pick between two guys with the same haircut.

[All images credited to ABC]


July 25, 2016

The Bachelorette: Cut to the Chase

7/25/2016 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 8 - Fantasy Suites

When we last saw The Bachelorette, JoJo was squatting by an airplane hanger crying over her tough decision. She regains composure and comes back to the Rose Ceremony and stands firm in her original thought: she dumps Luke. Man, I thought this was all clever editing but nope. JoJo wasn't ever fully sure how Luke felt and it was apparently too late, and he's shocked that their chemistry wasn't enough. He's flabbergasted, she's got a weird laugh cry - it's all terrible.

But forget the heartbreak, it's time to bang three guys with the same haircut in Thailand!

First up is JoJo's date with Robby and I'm just as shocked as you guys that he's still around and there's a good chance he'll have sex with JoJo. They walk around a busy market to try local food and avoid the torrential rain by getting pedicures. JoJo hasn't told Robby she loves him, but she appreciates his openness and honesty. They make out while the rain pours around them and I truly do not care. The monsoon stops for their sexy dinner, which is the day number anniversary of when JoJo told Ben she loved him. JoJo loves the trust (or flattery) of Robby's constant outpourings of love and is apparently over the whole you-dumped-your-ex-not-long-ago thing. They forgo their individual rooms to take up the Fantasy Suite offer which means BONE ZONE! JoJo also says she knows she's in love with Robby and seriously people, if she picks Robby I will feel so trolled. But JoJo won't say she love you to everyone willy nilly like a certain Bachelor, sticking to he guns she'll say it to the one man she wants to be with.

Jordan is escorted by boat to meet JoJo at a gorgeous island for a rigorous hike, and thankfully production brought him sneakers since he arrived barefoot. Their trek eventually takes them to a gorgeous cave and a temple at the bottom, which means no funny business you sexy, sexy reality stars. JoJo and Jordan discuss her family and the overprotective brothers sure to grill him to an uncomfortable level. JoJo still fears that he's not fully ready for a forever commitment and is afraid to trust him. At dinner, JoJo starts drilling Jordan on what the future in one year would look like and he doesn't have a good answer which scares JoJo who is worried about this long distance thing. She's not ready for another Ben-level heartbreak. Jordan reassures JoJo he's in love with her and that's all JoJo needs before heading to the Bone Zone, I mean Fantasy Suite. Apparently it went reaaaaal well but c'mon, we're not surprised.

Chase receives the last date of the night and I honestly considered just taking a nap through this human Ambien. But alas I must recap it. Chase rides up on a scooter like he's from Grease 2 and a coooool rider. The date consists of smelling fish, tongue kissing heavily, spotting monkeys at sea (but not sea monkeys), and making out in the ocean. Before JoJo and Chase head to the night portion of the date, they go to their hotels and get changed which is a great time for Robby to pop on in to give a "Hello, I love you" visit and completely throw of the flow of my recap. But back to Chase and his boringness, which JoJo points out was the most playful day with him. Chase gets lots of voiceovers like he's going to get dumped any minute now, but NO! JoJo is very happy for a trip to the Bone Zone with Chase and he tells her that he's in love with her officially... and she realizes she's not into him. She needs to excuse herself to get some air and returns to break the news that his declaration of love didn't elicit the reaction she hoped in herself. Chase downs the rest of his champagne and tries to escape the humiliation but she won't stop rambling and Chase isn't having it. Guys, Chase has a personality! She tries to smooth it over but he's embarrassed he said "I love you" only to be dumped minutes later. This drags on for an uncomfortable amount of time but enough time for me to wonder where has Chase's personality been all season? Was it hidden to make this blow-out spectacular?

The next day, JoJo is OK with her decision to dump Chase and looks forward to having a Rose Ceremony to allow Robby and Jordan the chance to both accept roses. The guys are surprised to see JoJo enter before Chase which they realize can't be a good sign for him (but a great sign for them). Just as JoJo begins to tell the guys about how horribly Chase took the breakup, he waltzes down the steps to the Rose Ceremony. Chase apologizes for his anger but he was genuinely shocked, but he is not mad at JoJo and wants the best for her. YAWN. Chase leaves and JoJo cries more about not being able to fall in love with Chase. The Rose Ceremony resumes with JoJo telling Jordan and Robby that her feelings are strong for both of them, and both accept their roses of course.


[All images credited to ABC]


July 24, 2016

Big Brother 18: Tiffany's the Target - Take 2

7/24/2016 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 4

Frank enters the house after the HOH competition pissed that the vote didn't go his way, but also praising the BB gods that the team twist makes him safe this week. It's all a passive aggressive until Frank, Tiffany, and eventually Da'vonne all go at it after Frank out's that Da'vonne exposed Tiffany's plans for a girls alliance. Da'vonne and Frank make fake amends but both have each other on their radars. Despite the group saving Tiffany, she isn't embraced by the house and only becomes more isolated, defensive, and emotional. Like blotchy ugly cries. A volatile Tiffany begins to go off, outing Frank's enemy #1 status directly to him, outing the allies that betrayed him, and confronting Da'vonne about everyone cutting her out and keeping her to spite Frank. Da'vonne pleads with Tiffany to not explode emotionally and instead use the knowledge to improve her guy. Guys, I don't know if I can handle this Tiffany drama for the whole summer.

While Paulie didn't want to win HOH, he has the power again and this time the shot against Tiffany won't miss. Paulie nominates Natalie and Tiffany for eviction, citing that Tiffany plays like her sister which is rich coming from the only BB sibling in the house. There's one more nominee seat to fill and in a perfect display of BB justice, Tiffany wins the BB Roadkill competition to hang the most BB air fresheners while doing some Entrapment maneuvers under poles. Tiffany's ready to take a shot against her former allies and since Paulie is safe, she aims for someone he's close to: Corey. Cue a relieved Da'vonne who was worried she would be nominated, but for now Tiffany and Da' are good but this house changes every twenty minutes.

Nicole ugly cries that Corey is nominated because she feels it's the equivalent of targeting her, plus he's her best friend/showmance. Despite Paulie straight up calling out Tiffany for being the Roadkill winner, Corey ignorantly believes it was Frank. Frank tries to get back in good graces with Da'vonne and the house notices their socializing, wondering if maybe Da' is a good alternate target. Paulie, Corey, Tiffany, Natalie, Da'vonne, and Paul compete in this week's adorably sweet veto competition. The backyard looks like a wonderful candyfest and the houseguests compete in a head-to-head battle to transfer giant ice cream scoops to match a screen. This extremely delicious veto competition is won by Corey who wanted to throw it to Paul the Muffin Man but "YA BOY" went too slow and Paulie clearly throws it to Corey in the final round. Corey's win means that Roadkill winner Tiffany will get to choose the replacement nominee and Da'vonne worries the only target bigger than Tiffany is her. In yet another bitter outrage, Tiffany outs all of Da'vonne's alliances including the Fatal 5 and the group with the showmances. Sensing the lack of trust in Da' and knowing the house might rally to her cause, Tiffany does nominate Da'vonne for eviction who responds with a flip of her hair.

Da'vonne laughs off her threat status while Tiffany continues to focus on Da's hair flip barely touching her. There's a movement growing, led by Frank and Tiffany, to turn the house against Da and get her out instead. Paulie insists that as HOH he will continue to target Tiffany and if a tie occurs, he'll still boot her though he's surprised to hear Da'vonne has told a lot of his plans and secrets to Tiffany. Da'vonne makes it even worse by telling James, who is in a showmance or whatever we're calling it, that she wants to target couples. But hey, what fun is showing the house strategize and flip over and over when you could show Cody and Vanessa talk about their siblings??

The houseguests give their "brief" final pleas before the live voting begins and the whole house chooses to evict Tiffany. Julie Chen asks Tiffany about making the unholy alliance with Frank, which Tiffany pins on Da'vonne starting trouble between them. While the legacy of Vanessa was a lot of hold over her, Tiffany felt she still played her own game. But of course we know her chance to keep playing isn't totally over as the Battle Back is happening and she could return to the game. Ugh, please no. I thought Tiffany had a lot of potential, but her volatility was a liability to everyone's game.

With the Battle Back looming, the show gives each of the first four evicted to tell how they've changed and who they'll target in the house. BUT FIRST, the team twist must end which Julie Chen reveals to the house. Also dead is the Roadkill competition, which means back to the classic two nominees but more twists are coming. Like we expected anything else.


[All images credited to CBS]


July 18, 2016

The Bachelorette: Final Four, Total Bore on Hometown Dates

7/18/2016 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 7 - Hometown Dates

The hometown dates begin in Colorado, home of broken home Chase who has divorced parents. It's snowy and sunny so either it's that awesome Aspen Extreme way of life where you can ski and wear bikinis or they're faking the funk for TV. JoJo appreciates Chase opening up more to her and sharing more about his past. Chase's dad swings by his house to meet JoJo, which is more therapy for Chase to ask his dad why his first marriage didn't work out. Always great convo to have when trying to impress a woman! Chase's snoozefest of a hometown continues on to the night at his mom's house with the rest of his family. JoJo talks to his mom about his walls which is MORE divorce talk for this downer of a date. It's hard for Chase to say I love you because, as a reminder, his parents are divorced and therefore he's more guarded. After getting mom's approval, JoJo and Chase head outside and he tells JoJo he's falling in love with her.

Then it's off to Chico, California to get a tour of Jordan's high school, where all super cool dudes bring their girlfriends to makeout on library book stacks and meet his old coaches. JoJo decides to make it awkward by bringing up his famous brother, which is probably the only reason he was cast on this show. Aaron won't be present at today's meeting and instead JoJo gets to meet Jordan's parents and other non-famous brother. JoJo decides making Jordan uncomfortable about Aaron isn't enough, asking the other brother Luke about it too. JoJo raves about how much she cares about Jordan, and even his mom notices how Jordan is glowing and happy. They shoehorn in Aaron's name a few more times before the date starts to wrap up. JoJo is scared that Jordan might not be ready for forever and she wants to tell Jordan she loves him, but also doesn't want to pull a Ben and not pick the person she says "I love you" to.

Robby lives in St. Augustine, Florida which I guess is one reason to have such a terrifying tan. JoJo whistles and is surprised with a horse-drawn carriage ride to take in the beautiful town while inhaling the scent of horse poop. While JoJo definitely likes Robby, she's still a bit weary about his last relationship ending so soon before this show and he dropped the "love" word the earliest. Robby assures JoJo it's all in the past, the past being like 3 months ago, but we know this drama is far from over on the hometown date. Robby's family toasts JoJo's arrival and they all love her immediately. Never one to shy away from uncomfortable, JoJo asks Robby's mom about the ex and if maybe he'll regret not getting "me" time between relationships. Then JoJo tells the mom she's falling in love with Robby and that's the most shocking thing to me this season because the connection seems so inauthentic. Robby gets some big news that his ex-girlfriend's roommate started a rumor that he dumped her to be on the show and decides to tell JoJo immediately. This revelation riles up JoJo again who doesn't want to be played and Robby insists it's not true and he's there for the right reasons. Robby worries that all of JoJo's doubts about him are a bad sign.

Hometown dates wrap up in Texas, the home state of both Luke and JoJo. It's quite the drive to meet Luke's family which is a big family BBQ that also include friends that are like family. Great, now all I want is ribs, cornbread, and Coke Zero in a solo cup. She's comfy in Chambray, he's dressed like a picnic cloth - it's a casual day. Luke hopes today will be the day he can tell JoJo he loves her, as his dad tells him to not rush it because of a timeline (AKA TV deadline) and say it when it's right. JoJo hits it off with the family so Luke takes her off for a surprise: horses to ride and not spoon! JoJo wonders if Luke does love her and he tells her how much he sees a future and he's scared to say such big things. He does some of his classic face grabbing and lingering kissing to show his feelings, which leads JoJo to cry who wishes there was more time to be together. Luke has one last power move on the date: an aisle of candles leading to a flower pedals scattered in a heart shape. It's the TV-perfect place to say "I love you" over booming country music except he doesn't say it.

The final four arrive for the Rose Ceremony at an airport hangar, the ideal place to get dumped because you get on that first plane to Paradise. Every guy narrates how nervous they are before JoJo arrives is a shimmery royal blue gown. JoJo comes into the Rose Ceremony with her mind made up: she needs to let go of Luke. But when the Rose Ceremony begins, Luke asks for a moment. He finally tells JoJo that he does love her and is in love with her, since he didn't say it when he should have in Texas. This changes everything for JoJo who is so torn between four different men, ending the episode with a crying mess of a JoJo squatting outside an airport hangar with a big decision to make.

[All images credited to ABC]


July 17, 2016

Big Brother 18: Broken Ankles, Shattered Alliances

7/17/2016 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 3

Bridgette is so excited to be HOH and so is the Spy Girls alliance. But the 8 Pack is bummed that they've lost the chance to get Frank out of the game since the entire Category 4 is safe too. Despite Bridgette's idea of nominating brewing snoozemance, I mean showmance, Corey and Nicole, Frank has other plans. He's all good with Bridgette's suggestion of Tiffany, his personal adversary, but suggests Paul as a pawn yet again to protect the 8 Pack sans Tiffany. Another week of Frank running shizz - snooze! He's acting like the king of the BB house, claiming he's funny when in fact he's more asshole than class clown. The whole house is tired of his "humor" and rude comments. Da'vonne gets upset with his chauvinistic comments and put downs, but it all takes a big turn for the worse when Frank slaps Da on the butt. Frank apologizes to Da'vonne after explaining butt pinching is a family thing and she accepts his apology... but the target is still very much there for next week.

After all the drama, the nominations happen just the way the ol' butt slapper wants them: Bridgette nominates Paul and Tiffany for eviction. Bronte informs Bridgette that the whole house thinks Frank made her picks but don't worry, next week it'll all fall back on Frank and not her. And Frank has only more secrets to hide when he wins the BB Roadkill competition again, which had the houseguests matching a sequence of car horn toots. The house totally figures out he won the power after a classicly terrible Frank joke to try to shake off attention, and he confides in the 8 Pack but not Bridgette. Frank's Roadkill nomination is Bronte, Bridgette's BFF and tightest ally besides him. Smooth move Frank. But hey, at least Spy Girl Natalie is in the clear to keep flirting with James.

Bronte is upset she is the Roadkill nominee and her ally Bridgette is livid that someone undermined her HOH. LOL it's your tightest ally who screwed you over! Feeling isolated and like she's holding in a huge secret, Bronte confides to her fellow Spy Girls her secret: she's an aspiring mathematician, not an uneducated child care provider. This is apparently earth shattering news that Bronte is actually smart, leading to squeals of delight and an "us three to the end!" shout. Good luck with that. Frank comes up to the HOH room and pretends he didn't just totally screw over the Spy Girls, assuring them he'd play in the veto to save Bronte. Worried for the safety of his flirtmance, James tells Natalie that they can't trust Frank because he won the Roadkill competition. Natalie wishes Bridgette would see that Frank is manipulating everyone, but that's how Bridgette feels about James so I guess it's all even and who cares, this alliance sucks.

The Outback Steakhouse sponsored Power of Veto competition is for the houseguests to mix ingredients based on a sequence displayed. Get it wrong and you get glitter and paint bombed. "Sassy" is one of my favorite ingredients as well, Big Brother. Bridgette wins the veto, breaks her ankle in a lame celebratory back-to-back jump, and wins an Outback Steakhouse dinner along with her team and another of her choosing (Have Nots Big Sister which is Da'vonne, birthday girl Zakiyah, and Paul if you forgot the stupid team names). Bridgette would like to use the veto to save Bronte, but it's possible that if used then Natalie would be chosen as the replacement nominee by the "anonymous" Roadkill winner. Bridgette trusts Frank even more after he admits that he won the Roadkill competition this week and that very week (when he nominated Bridgette herself). Knowing that this week's target is Tiffany and they have the numbers to protect Bronte, Bridgette does not use the veto and keeps nominations the same.

The veto is unused so Frank is lazily confident that his target Tiffany will be going home. Da'vonne wonders if voting out Tiffany is a bad move since she wouldn't target the Fatal 5 and she's hellbent on getting Frank out. Most of the group know she's not a threat to their group, but Paulie keeps stressing that she's Vanessa 2.0 and will be furious knowing she was the actual target. Then there's the looming question of once Tiffany is gone, who is Frank's target? Well that's easy to know because Frank is thinking ahead and would like to get out Da'vonne, and proposes a side alliance between himself, Bridgette, Nicole, and Corey. But when Frank shares the plan with Michelle, outing Nicole in the process, he has no idea the big mistake he made because Michelle is extremely close to Da'vonne. This wrong move is all it takes to finally set in motion the plan to keep Tiffany and evict Bronte to throw off Frank and Bridgette.

Before the vote, the nominees give their speech which is Paul using his "Friendship!" catchphrase and Bronte just babbling about thank yous and good times. But it's Tiffany who brings the heat, calling out the "dictator" and his "little Cabbage Patch Kid" and vows that no one else besides them are her targets. The votes are cast and in a 5-4 vote, Bronte is totally blindsided out of the game with many shocked faces. It's the blindside we thought we were getting week one come true! Except Bronte admits she found out 20 minutes before taping. Bronte explains to Julie Chen that since the group was thinking ahead about next week's target changing to Frank, she knows being close to Bridgette and possibly being a flip vote got her evicted. Bronte is happy she didn't snap on the way out when she learns about the Battle Back and bids the Chenbot adieu.

Earlier in the day the memory wall changed to show a bunch of horribly Photoshopped pictures of evicted houseguests Glenn, Jozea, and Victor going wild in Europe. To win HOH, the houseguests have to answer true/false questions about the Euro Trippin' photos. When half the group gets the first question wrong, it's clear that something spectacularly bad might happen. And sure enough, it does. Paulie wins HOH and his entire team is safe, meaning this whole plan to get out Frank is moot. Again.

[All images credited to CBS]


July 11, 2016

The Bachelorette: The One Where They Spoon a Horse

7/11/2016 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Week 6

Alex finally gets a one-on-one date and all the guys can say about this is, "Now you can finally shut up." I mean, talk about support. Alex's date is getting to be JoJo's roadtrip buddy for their next destination while the other pleebs take a bus and freestyle rap together, which is way more fun than Alex's date. That's because in the awkward car ride it's just Alex and JoJo eating Pringles and wondering if the fields are full of wheat. They make a pit stop for gaucho training which just looks like horseback riding in costumes to me, but what do I know? At some point the gaucho shows off his connection with the horse and I honestly laugh the loudest belly laugh, especially watching them group spoon a horse. All the horse whispering really helps turn the spirit around and JoJo makes out with Alex. On the night portion of the date it's all going well until Alex says he's falling in love with JoJo despite hardly any time together. It was the best day of his life! Feeling extremely uncomfortable, JoJo dumps Alex on the date instead of dragging it out until the Rose Ceremony because she knows she ain't falling in love with him any time soon.

Jordan gets another one-on-one date because it's an overnight date and who the hell else do you think she wants to possibly bang at this point. Robby? God no. JoJo whisks Jordan off on a private jet to go stomp on grapes and drink their foot wine in Mendoza, Argentina. They wash their feet off by making out in a hot tub and drinking non-foot wine, while the guys back at the hotel lament Jordan's frontrunner status. Jordan uses their "dinner" to address some of the accusations against his character or that he's using his brother's fame. Well apparently he's not close or in contact with Aaron Rodgers so suck on that, other guys! JoJo was scared about falling for Jordan so fast, but his openness with feelings shows it's all mutual. How mutual? Jordan says he's in love with JoJo and she's elated, making out against a random alley wall which is the definition of sexy on a reality show.

Chase, James, and Robby go on the group date which is the only chance to score a rose before the Rose Ceremony. But that means JoJo doesn't want an overnight with any of those three at this point, so boo hoo losers. Rain ruins the outdoor adventures planned for the day so instead JoJo gets a suite at The Plaza Hotel for a hotel slumber party like Troop Beverly Hills. Slumber party fun includes shoving 25 fries in James Taylor's mouth at once, watching the Brazilian Bachelor, Truth or Dare, and a rousing game of Bachelor Celebrity. James Taylor decides to play instigator again, talking about Robby checking out hot Argentian women all the time and the constant razzing starts to irritate the overly tan Ken doll. Freed from the hotel room prison, each guy gets a little solo time with JoJo to plead their case to get that rose to hometown dates. Robby tells JoJo he and his ex ended just four months ago after three years of dating, insisting he's moved on from the ex. Chase tells JoJo he wants to spend forever with her, and she's happy he's finally opening up. James Taylor wonders if their type of love is as strong as the physical attractions he has, and she babbles on until the point he forgets what he asked but he's ready to introduce her to the fam. The guys bicker over who are the frontrunners, which apparently is Robby since he gets the group date rose. Chase and James Taylor get booted from the suite so JoJo can spend more time with Robby and America shudders.

Luke gets the last one-on-one date of the week because he's a frontrunner. They meet up at a ranch to pet a mini horse, ride full sizes horses, and skeet shoot. Cue all the skeet jokes I can think up! Luke talks about how much he wants to see a life with whoever he loves and for real this date lasts 4 minutes. Even the guys are shocked the date is over so fast. It's true: JoJo already has her mind made up and doesn't need to fake nice over a cocktail party to crush some hearts. The guys suit up and take a horse and carriage to the Rose Ceremony. Tonight's episode of The Bachelorette has been brought to you by: horses. The roses first go to the obvious frontrunners, Luke and Jordan, and then final rose is given to... Chase. And so we bid adieu to James Taylor who I have dubbed the next Bachelor with his sad sack edit, especially with all the talk about the perfect girl being out there for him. JoJo cries a bunch but just a reminder, you could've dumped Alex and James Taylor last week and saved them a little more heartache. Just saying.

[All images credited to ABC]