Small Servings

3/09/2010 / Comments (0) / by Mel Got Served




Photo Credit: OldSchoolPopculture.wordpress.com

Serving of the Week

3/08/2010 / Comments (1) / by Mel Got Served


Name: Avatar
SERVED: I haven't seen Avatar yet and I really have no interest. From what I hear it's just Dances with Wolves in 3d with CGI people. And quite frankly, I don't care for 3D and think it's going to hurt movies rather than help it, especially now that everything under the sun is getting converted to 3D just to make more money.

Back to the Oscars. Going into the Academy Awards last night, I knew inevitably that the big-budget epic would win Best Director and Best Picture against other great films, like The Hurt Locker. As award after award for Sound Editing and Cinematography and all the technical stuff began to roll in, I think everyone watching was wondering, "Why am I staying up until midnight to see a James Cameron speech?" Well there wasn't one because James Cameron's ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, took home the Oscar for Best Director for The Hurt Locker! SERVED! It seems like perhaps Avatar would be awarded Best Picture instead... but it wasn't! The Hurt Locker won Best Picture! SERVED!!! It doesn't take millions and millions of dollars and amazing special effects to win- just tell an amazing, powerful story and film it well. Take THAT, CGI!

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

Movie Scene Sunday: Naked Gun 33 1/3

3/07/2010 / Comments (0) / by Mel Got Served

Happy Oscar night! It's the night where celebrities put on their borrowed finest, strut the red carpet, and pretend to not want an award that most actors strive for each year. But I love it! The Academy Awards are often mentioned in movies, like In & Out, but the Oscar scene that I always remember comes from Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult. The Mother Theresa musical is so fantastic, a knockdown drag-out fight with Raquelle Welch, and c'mon, the comic genius of Orenthal James Simpson.

Dharma Dog

3/06/2010 / Comments (4) / by Mel Got Served

A few weeks ago Schroeder's name tag fell off in the back yard and we couldn't find it. I was going to go online and buy him a new cute tag (because face it, the metal ones from pet stores are so dull), but I suddenly had a moment of genius: LOST! I would make a Dharma Initiative pet tag. I bought some Shrinky Dinks plastic paper, created a Dharma logo with a paw print in the middle, and made a back side with Schroeder's name and contact phone number. I put the large printed tags in the oven where Shrinky Dinks magically makes them smaller, glued the front and back together using some heavy-duty E-6000 glue and voila! DHARMA DOG!



A few more photos over on my Tumblr

Reality Rundown: Tin Man, Hershey Kiss, Ballerina, Garbage Newsaper, Ughhh, Vacuum Bag

3/05/2010 / Comments (0) / by Mel Got Served

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest Loser
Survivor: Heroes vs. VillainsProject Runway

The Amazing Race - The season of the bus ride continues with a 6 hour trek to Argentina. For a hot second it looks like Miss Teen USA might not make it, as she gets a touch of food poisoning, but the bus is an equalizer so they are able to make it. The first task in Argentina is to beat the Travelocity Roaming Gnome is a game of 5 Card Stud, which is as weird as it sounds. The clue after that is a Roadblock to lasso a haybale cow. The Cowboys easily complete this, while the Moms struggle the most, putting them in the back of the pack. The Lesbians bitch and moan about this Roadblock being unfair, and then they complain the whole rest of the leg. This is definitely the unlikable team of the season.

The Detour is a choice of playing polo on a wooden horse or find a bag of loot based on old fashioned compasses (aka steps). Jeff and Jordan easily find their bag, but don't read the clue and keep trying to give deliver the loot to the wrong person. Once they re-read the clue and realize their stupidity, Jeff intelligently says, "We shouldn't reproduce." The Cowboys complete the polo quickly and easily slide into another victory leg with their big cowboy belt buckles. The Mom-trepreneurs catch up but can't catch a break at polo; they switch detours to find the money bags but get Philiminated at check-in.

The Biggest Loser - It's baaaack- and interesting again! When we last left off, Orange and Black were balancing torches on their head to see who stays. At 9 minutes, the dad from the Black team drops out and Orange mom stays.

The next morning the losers are greeted by a giant plate of cookies for a temptation. Today partners are gone and it's time for teams and the winner of the temptation will get to pick teams and choose someone for immunity (the immune person will join the team that loses a member this week). Only fat Michael from White and the newly solo Black team daughter participate. The game is memory: find the 2 "Pick the Team" cards and you win. However, match up 2 junk foods and the other person eats them; don't make a match and eat a cookie. After gorging themselves and consuming about 2,000 calories each, Michael wins.

Michael decides to make his teams strategically: he makes old-man Yellow immune and completely stacks Bob's Blue team with all the big dudes (including himself). Jillian's Black team has 1 guy and all the lighter women. Needless to say, she's furious and almost say he teams stinks. I don't know why every year the a-holes team with Bob since it's proven that Jillian's team always wins the show. Anyways, the rub salt into the wounds the Black team also wins the reward challenge (boring letters from home). They are determined to win the weigh-in. After 2 Blue team members (Miggy and Lance) pull low numbers, Black sees a chance: they need to have lost 39lbs to win the weigh in. With some super-dramatic music, Black teams loses 41lbs and win the weigh-in!

Suddenly Black isn't so cocky. Michael's greed to stay in the game costs him big time: his best friend Miggy is voted off for having one of the lowest weight loses this week. Looks like we got a battle up in herrrrrrre!

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - Post-Tribal, Coach has a cryfest to Tyson because he feels like odd man out. Tyson gives some excellent advice like, do your tai chi in private, don't tell those stories that sound like huge lies, and stop wearing a giant feather earring to Tribal Council. Boston Rob assures Coach he does like him and he just needs to trust him.

Tree Mail delivers everyone's favorite reading delight: a Sears catalog! Each tribe can choose 2 items and if they win the reward challenge, they get their dream come true. Unfortunately no one selects any bedding from the . The Heroes go for fishing necessities and kitchen supplies, while the villains opt for a giant tarp and a toolbox. The Reward Challenge is to get all lubed up, slip and slide to some hanging balls, and score a basket. Super sexy! The Villains win and head back to camp where Russell accidentally discovers a clue to the hidden Immunity Idol inside one of their new tools. The tribe decides no one should get the Idol and whoever takes it is a marked man... so of course Russell goes looking and now he's on everyone's shit list.

Over at the Hero camp, I guess the best part of waking up is an Immunity Idol in your cup (ok, container of coffee beans, but I was going for the Folgers pun). The Heroes all scramble to find the Idol and Tom, James, and Amanda prowl the same spot. Tom finds the Idol and slips it away quickly, but not before Amanda sees it. Tom and Colby hope this can be good leverage for staying in this game longer, while others see this as a need to get Tom out now.

At the immunity challenge (which is the giant ball roll and puzzle maze that almost killed other Russell last season), the Heroes lose making the obvious choice elimination choice Tom (to flush out the Idol). Candice approaches Cirie with the plan to split the votes 3-3 between Tom and Colby, that way if Tom plays the Idol Colby leaves or it forces a tie-breaker. Tom is desperate and approaches JT and Amanda to align, even offering to give away his Idol. JT likes this plan because he wants the Idol in his alliance, doesn't trust Candice, and knows Tom and Colby are honest players. Blabbermouth Amanda tells Cirie, and Cirie gets pissed. Tom, Colby, and JT chat and realize Cirie is dangerous so why not make a 3 way tie? JT realizes that, yet again, the fate of the game is in his hands.

At Tribal Council, the main topic of discussion is about alliances and how the strong are being sacrificed just because they're not in the "in" alliance. Rupert admits maybe it's not smart, but he's keeping his word and Jeff respects his honesty. Everyone gets up to vote and we get a teaser that JT started writing a C, but is it Colby or Cirie? Don't tease me, Survivor! Knowing you only live once in this game, Tom plays the Immunity Idol and it's a good thing since he definitely would've been out. The votes are 2-2 between Cirie and Colby and the final vote comes out... FOR CIRIE! Blindside!! Awesome. Totally didn't see this coming. I say this every season on the blog when the first blindside happens, but Survivor has officially begun!

Project Runway - Heidi sends the designers on yet another field trip to meet up with Tim Gunn and "one of America's favorite designers." Holy shit, is it Christian Audigier of the exquisite Ed Hardy brand?? Oh boo-urns, it's just Michael Kors. The challenge this week is to create a look and accessory made with materials from the hardware store. Lots of copper, sheet metal, washers... and string for macrame? Oh brother...

The designers whine a little about how hard it is to use these unusual materials, but most end up turning out some great looks. Mia makes her usual mod style using eye-catching black and white paint trays. Maya makes a fashion forward look with a mesh dress, what I call a spiderweb coat, and this crazy cool necklace made from keys. The winner of the challenge is Jay who fashions a smokin' hot pair of leather pants out of trashbags. Anthony makes it into the bottom 3 this week for a boring, purple duct-tape and mesh look that Michael Kors calls "bad prom dress." Emilio makes an atrocious pink rope and washer macrame bathing suit (because he didn't have enough materials but a dress, but shh- don't tell the judges that). A whorish bathing suit isn't enough to send someone home as it's Jesse's copper and mesh Tin Man, tutu, and many more unflattering nouns that gets AUF'D.


Photo Credits: ABC, BuddyTV, CBS, MyLifetime, NBC, Survivor.com

Reality Rundown: You've Been Served... An Engagement Ring!

3/03/2010 / Comments (0) / by Mel Got Served

The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love
Special Special Finale Edition


Jake's family is flown to St. Lucia to meet his final 2 and he gives them the 411, like Tenley is sweet and loving and Vienna is, and I quote, "smoking hot" and didn't get along with the other girls in the house. That's an immediate red flag for the family. Instead of jumping around in time, I'll just summarize each girl's Jake-time.

Tenley meets the Pavelka family first and is completely loved. She's very candid about her divorce (did you know she was divorced?) and how much she loves Jake and sees a future. Jake's dad unsuccessfully fights back tears and admits he thinks he met his future daughter-in-law today. If Dad Pavelka was on all season, I think there's a chance he possibly could've out-cried Jake. Jake and Tenley's last date together is snorkeling on a yacht, where Jake poorly words his feelings for Tenley and makes her feel like garbage. Essentially he says he's more attracted to her emotionally than physically, but later backtracks and keeps saying how incredible she is, etc. In the prequisite awkward craft project you give The Bachelor on the last night together Tenley gives him a shadow box with photos and romantic quotes like "Kiss Me!" As soon as I see the glass shadowbox, I picture Tenley finally getting some rage and breaking the glass when she obviously gets dumped in 45 minutes.

When Vienna meets the Pavelkas, it's not a good first impression. She immediately tells them the other girls didn't like her and comes off as abrasive. Jake's mom pulls him aside and expresses her concerns and he gets defensive, while Jake's sisters-in-law have some Vienna alone time. What everyone eventually learns is Vienna is a nice person that is totally in love with Jake. Jake takes Vienna to an inactive volcano to bathe in muddy water that smells like sulfur- yum? Her goofy craft give is a rolled up letter held shut with her "promise me you won't elope again ring" (No I'm not being a sarcastic jerk. That's what the ring is). At this point if you don't know who Jake is so obviously picking you live in La La Land.

The Neil Lane salesman comes to St. Lucia to show Jake some rings and he really overacts in this scene. Is this guy a jeweler or a waiter/aspiring actor? Since Jake hasn't chosen the woman yet (lie) he takes 2 rings: a princess cut for Vienna and a square diamond for Tenley. The girls get gussied up and fly via helicopter to a rooftop beautifully adorned with tropical flowers to either get hitched or ditched. Tenley's first to arrive and obviously, gets dumped. It's really awkward because the 2 of them keep stammering about how much this hurts and how Jake gave Tenley the ability to love again. Oy-vey. After some par-for-the-course crying, Jake mans up when Vienna arrives. He totally psyches her out by giving her back her promise ring and she looks crushed. But then he gets down on his knee and gives her the new ring and then the most marvelous thing happens: they play "On the Wings of Love." And if you're crushed Vienna got picked and shocked, you crazy!

After the Final Rose is a total snoozefest. Tenley is doing OK and gets to ask Jake questions and it's so dull I can't even recall enough to summarize it. Just know, it's probably not important and your life can go on without knowing this information. Vienna comes out and her and Jake talk about how happy they are, how all the tabloids about her are lies (if they're lies then why don't you sue for slander or defamation of character?), and that they'll be moving in together in Dallas immediately. Well not that immediately because in a commercial break we find out that Jake will be torturing us with his dullard personality much longer as he's going to be on Dancing with the Stars. We also get one last amazing, mind-blowing live performance of "On the Wings of Love" and I'm sure you were in tears. Finally for the big "shocking announcement" of the new Bachelorette: it's Ali. Wow, what a shocker! Her constant interviewing of not knowing if she's ever find love again didn't set this up at all. See you next season, readers!


Photo Credits: ABC, BuddyTV

Small Servings

3/02/2010 / Comments (0) / by Mel Got Served