February 23, 2009

Reality Rundown - Alliance? This ain't no Survivor.

Welcome back folks! The Reality Rundown is already a hit- so much so that the posts are getting longer SO the Reality Rundown will now be 2 posts per week so that it doesn't overwhelm you with one post of pure awesomeness. So let's keep the ball (or Amazing Race cheese wheel) rolling and start with the first half of the week!

The Amazing Race - Off to Germany the racers go! The Roadblock makes one team member paraglide- but they have to wait until weather conditions are perfect or they can opt for a 60 minute walk down the mountain. All teams but one opted to run. One contestant waited, Mel with the injured groin, but eventually flies down- and comes in second place! During the Roadblock, the woman on what we'll call the "Hick Team" didn't follow the route markers and ended up on the other side of the mountain. I understand the pressure of the race, but I'd like to think I'd be smart enough in that situation to read the directions correctly and follow the arrows. If you loved the Cheese Wheels of last week, you'll enjoy this week's Detour: Slam cakes in each others' faces (watch now!) or ride a Segway scooter through an obstacle course. This would be a tough call for me, as both are things I'd love to do, but I think I would've opted for the cakes because it reminds me of my dream to be on a Nickelodeon game show. In the end the Hicks go home (no shock there), the brother and sister team win this leg (and hybrid go-karts!). This season has already been more enjoyable than the last one!

I Love Money - This week is the "ass-kissing challenge" because besides the hookups, Ithis show is all about butt-kissing. Buckwild and Milf throw the challenge, leaving just T-Weed kissing Myammee's butt. Sometimes to take out a big player, you need to take risks- even if it's obvious. The Gold team comes down to Frenchie kissing Prancer's behind, and since we all know Frenchie's stripping and porn past, I am putting all my chips on Gold winning. T-Weed eventually collapses (in a safe way) and Green loses. Then they blame him for the loss. What? He lasted longer than the others, even if the others threw it. He is thrown into the box with Milf and Buckwild. At the Power Outing, a T-Weed/Entertainer alliance starts brewing to take out Buddha. At Elimination, Buckwild gets a check first and kisses Frank- future power-couple? Next called down... T-Weed. The Entertainer tells T-Weed that he begged him to not pick Buddha for his team but he didn't listen, and now they can't get rid of Buddha and because of this, T-Weed goes home. The end. Wait, NO! Craig has a twist! All the men need to write the name of the most loyal man, and the same for the women. Sapphyri and 20 Pack easily win, and these 2 people will be the new team captains. Time to pick new teams! But one person will not get picked and go home. They go down the line and pick and the final 2 are Ice and Buddha. The Gold Team has the last pick and they say they need a strong man- so they pick ICE! Buddha got SERVED!!! I'm so glad Buddha is gone because his arrogance was so annoying. I'm moving my support to the Green team because I love Saaphyri and the Entertainer and think they stand a chance to take the final prize. Next week- team chaos... again!

The Bachelor - The Women Tell All special aired, and it was. kind of boring. Host Chris Harrison interviews Jason, which was really Chris trying to find out if Jason slept with anyone. We find out Jason sent home Jillian because he saw her only as a best friend. Chris pointed out that last week's makeout session with Jason and Jillian made Cinemax call and say it was too much- ha. Jillian is interviewed and still seems a little depressed but would be open to this experience again. New Bachelorette?? There were also a lot of bloopers that I fast forwarded through. Universally hated Natalie claimed she's not superficial, saying she had a hard time doing the show because she couldn't use her Blackberry, iPod, etc. To which Chris says, "You mean superficial things?" We always make fun of Chris because he doesn't do much during the season besides talk a bit to the Bachelor about where his head's at and come out at the end of the rose ceremony to say "This is your final rose," but he shows he's a pretty good host during these reunion specials. They also explored Bachelors and Bachelorettes of the past, which is what I found most interesting. Trista and Ryan, the show's only success story, are happy in Vail with one kid and another on the way and doing Skecher's ads (not mentioned on show). Charlie O'Connell and the girl he picked his season dated for 2 years, broke up, then are back together and happy. But most entertaining was the fact that ex-Bachelors and Bachelorettes all party with each other and hook up all the time. So ladies and gents, if you're going on The Bachelor(ette), don't necessarily go for whoever is running that season. Get eliminated, then start dating other ex-contestants. Next week: the most shocking rose ceremony and After the Rose special EVER! But if reports are right, for once, they aren't exaggerating.

From G's to Gents - This is an episode I've been excited for: a rap battle with proper grammar and no cussing. The G's are split into two teams will have to head-to-head battle on a topic, best of 5. The guys are all pretty good, except for A-Felon, who allegedly is a rapper yet tanked because Macho stuck his tongue out at him, and JoJo who gets on stage completely wasted and swears (automatic disqualification). Based on some eloquent freestyle from resident white guy Lank, his team wins. For some reason, everyone starts to question Macho's sexuality (the tongue thing?), which of course leads to more drama. Macho goes to see Mr. Bentley to complain about what happened, so then Mr. Bentley brings in A-Felon and AD. Seriously, sticking out someone's tongue to me is a cop-out for A-Felon choking and being a wack rapper. I tried to pay attention to the solo talks but I noticed a giant bottle of champagne in Mr. Bentley's study which makes me chuck and remember an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Quote of the week from Mr. Bentley: "Alliance? This Ain't no Survivor." Great quote, but also, kind of funny since this whole week was about proper grammar and not using the word "ain't." JoJo is immediately eliminated for being drunk in public and being a bad representative for the club. A-Felon runs his mouth about Macho having no respect amongst his peers, then Macho is deemed safe. And after what was monologued as hateful, disrespectful, and more adjectives behavior involved between the AD, A-Felon, and Macho, Mr. Bentley sends them BOTH home! 3 G's out of the door. Next week's episode: chivalry! And dating!

The Biggest Loser - I was a such multi-tasker in tonight's episode because while I watch I did 30 minutes of Wii Fit Free Step (it keeps time in the remote control!) It was like an interactive experience- you exercise with the contestants and trainers! The contestants arrive to a muddy challenge, but also arrive to Blue and Black jerseys- time to split into teams. Whoever wins the Pop Challenge will remain with their partner and their trainer; last place will automatically switch trainers. Everyone else's fate will be decided by a coin toss. The teams are switched. With this twist of fate, Jillian now has most of the strong players and Bob has the underdogs. Usually Bob has what I'd call the "jocks" but now he's more like Jillian, so it's new for him. I was also routing for a Bob victory this season, but he has a 2 contestants that I just can't stand. Upon seeing the new teams, Jillian isn't too surprised and is sympathetic, but sees a benefit from being able to learn 2 different exercise methods. When Bob sees his new team, well he's pretty livid (he keeps himself composed for the most part). Because this is a show, they have to have these twists to amp up the drama. However, the emotional stress I think can throw off the players and isn't the whole point of this to lose as much weight as you can? But everyone sort of realizes they have to move on and exercise. The teams then need to ride as many miles as possible in 24 HOUR for a 3lb advantage (and bikes!). Black wisely develops a strategy of each person riding 30 minutes, then getting a 2 1/2 hour break. The Blue team rides as they please? Black wins with 301 miles completed and both teams satisfied that they didn't quit. The episode ends and to be continued on Wednesday. But sadder for you is the conclusion to this Biggest Loser recap won't come until Friday. Sorry kiddies!

So as mentioned, the Reality Rundown will be 2 parts since I'm becoming quite verbose! Come back at the end of the week for the conclusion to The Biggest Loser, more Idol coverage, and of course- Survivor!