March 30, 2009

Serving of the Week

3/30/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
SERVING of the Week
Name: Vince "ShamWow Guy" Shlomi
SERVED: In case you live or Mars or just really hate television, a glorious invention called the ShamWow has taken over our fine nation, but mostly because America fell in love with ShamWow Vince and his selling techniques (on both the ShamWow and his newest protege, the Slap Chop- insert jokes here). While America has love for Vince, it seems Vince has no love for prostitutes. According to The Smoking Gun, Vince met a hooker, brought her back to the room, she bit his tongue (Ouch! SERVED for buying sex), so Vince fought back and ran out and got hotel security involved. So Vince got arrested for battery assault Yikes, dude- SERVED! She may have bit your tongue, but you slapped a prostitute and got busted, so that is no good! He's been charged with felony battery- oh, SERVED again. But as Jimmy Fallon put it so appropriately in his monologue on Friday evening, "Sham on you." Now, feel free to make all the Slap Chop comments below. (image from The Smoking Gun)

Thing someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

March 28, 2009

Reunite the cast of Saved by the Bell!

3/28/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
In case you didn't know, this year marks the 20th anniversary of Saved by the Bell. I didn't know it had been 20 years until Late Night with Jimmy Fallon brought it up, but everyone who knows me knows how much I love Saved by the Bell. I own all the seasons (including The College Years) on DVD. I can answer ridiculous trivia questions, and even had autographs of the cast (except Screech, for obvious reasons). I'm such a fan that I've even admitted that I enjoy the plotlines of the Tori episodes. Oh, and I'm an even bigger fan since I wrote a term paper for marketing class on Zach Morris. So Jimmy Fallon has made it his goal to get the entire cast of SBTB to reunite on his show, and I too will advocate this cause. We must make this happen. Click here to sign the petition to show the cast how much we'd like to see them reunite. I'm also leaving you two fantastic video clips. Clip 1 is Jimmy Fallon's description of the reunion and the first cast-member to join the cause. Clip 2 is just a fantastic fan-made montage to Zack Attack's "Friends Forever" to show you all the amazing moments the gang shared.

March 27, 2009

Paula Abdul Mustache Contest!

3/27/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
As mentioned in the most recent Reality Rundown post, Mel Got Served is having its first Photoshop/Paint/whatever program you use to draw stuff contest to design Paula Abdul a mustache. On Wednesday's Idol, Simon drew a mustache on Paula using a Sharpie marker. Now is your chance. I'm posting a photo of Paula Abdul below and want YOU to submit your best Paula mustaches. So get creative! I'll post your entries on the blog. Email your fantastical mustached-Paula photos to (image from

March 26, 2009

Reality Rundown: There's No Crying in Modeling.

Let's start this Rundown with some fun reality news. I went to the Photoshop World Conference this week at Hynes Convention Center in Boston. While walking to the Convention Center I saw some kid who looked so familiar, thinking maybe I went to high school with him. Then I realized, it's Tom Jr. from last season's The Biggest Loser. He was still overweight, but definitely not as big as he originally was on the Biggest Loser. Then, inside the conference, I noticed this good looking guy who looked extremely familiar. It was Kaysar from Big Brother 6! But I wasn't sure it was him at first, so I tried to get a look at his name badge to no avail. So I got the courage and approached him and said, "Sorry to ask, I'm sure you get bothered a lot, but are you Kaysar from Big Brother?" He was really nice (much more attractive in person) and I told him I was a fan of the show, as was my dad (and when he heard the story, my dad was disappointed I didn't ask the Big Brother 20 questions). So 2 reality alum sightings in a day- that's a record for me.

And for some bad news. First, this week was a Survivor clip show so I skipped it because it would be boring and there's no need to recap that. Also, I missed from G's to Gents. I know, I feel horrible! So unless I can sneak in the episode somehow, it looks like we'll be missing this week's coverage, but I'll try to get the deets for the next Rundown.

So, In this Reality Rundown...
American IdolAmerica's Next Top ModelMake Me A Supermodel
Paula Abdul Mustache Photo Contest!!!

American Idol - Theme: Motown. Crossing my fingers for some Frankie Lymon! I'm actually watching the show while I type this, so I think I can give opinions of each as I watch. So first, the contestants travel to Detroit and get to meet Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson, so now when the contestants fail miserably they'll have to feel guilty for shaming these two. Matt Giraud sings "Let's Get It On" and he's so talented and probably my favorite, even if he's a little fug. Kris Allen makes "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" his own, while maintaining his status as a dreamboat for the ladies. Scott the Blind Guy does "You Can't Hurry Love," a song I love, and he is still really dull for me, doesn't seem to be with the music, and wears creepy pastel pink skinny jeans. But ladies, he's single! Megan Joy sings "For Once in My Life" and I think I'm over her and her unique voice now, mainly cause there are others better than her. Randy calls it a trainwreck, and even Paula doesn't like it, so that's when you know you are screwed. Anoop performs "Oh, Baby Baby" and I think he does very well; my dad is calling this best of the night, but I'm not as over the moon as him. Ugh, Michael Sarver time; he's doing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and I think he ain't to proud to beg for votes since he sucks- sorry! His performance to me is yelling and corny lounge singer and as my dad sasses "He's taking dancing lessons from Ellen." Even Paula hates it- you're screwed again Sarver! Simon even tells him that he's just partaking in the competition, he's not winning- amen! Lil Rounds chose "Heatwave" and I am STOKED. I love this song and know Lil has the chops to pull it off. It's pretty good, but not great. I think I was enjoying it more cause the song is my jam. Time for Adam Lambert to desecrate another legendary song- he's doing "Tracks of my Tears" by mentor Smokey Robinson. Adam slicked his hair back and suited up, though my dad thought it was KD Lang (and now my dad acknowledges he is on a roll tonight for my blog). Adam does well and doesn't completely ruin a classic song (see: "Ring of Fire" last week), but Simon says it's the best of the night and says Adam's a star. Danny Gokey will be taking on "Get Ready" and I associate this song with Problem Child 2 when Jr. ruins all his dad's dates, so swallow that movie trivia knowledge. Simon calls it clumsy and amateurish; the others enjoy him, but think it's more so personality they love. Allison picks "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" is that one moron who picks a song she doesn't even know. She doesn't forget the words and really knows it out of the park. Her voice is amazing for a 16 year old. However the greatest moment of the night is when Simon draws a moustache on Paula using a Sharpie and can't stop laughing and neither can we. So by the conclusion of Motown night there are 2 definite clunkers that I am fine with going home, but with all the song choices, the night should've been called Marvin Gaye night. (image of Paula and her 'stache from

Results show- lots of fast forwarding, so let's get to the bottom. My main man Matt Giraud is up first and first is usually safe- WRONG! Matt is in the bottom! OMGWTF?!?!?! Are you people insane. Luckily my mortal enemy Michael Sarver took he deserved space in the bottom as well. They dramatically hold off the other 2 losers, Megan Joy and blind Scott, until the end and it's Blind Scott in the bottom. So even the judges wonder why Matt's in the bottom, so Ryan says let's save one of these 3 right now- Blind Scott is safe! Again, OMGWTF?!?! Please, use the save judges! Stevie Wonder does a medley, putting all these Idol losers to shame. But Paula ruins it as she sings along and dances on the sidelines- she's like that drunk woman who always ends up in front of you at a concert, annoying you to no end. Time for the final decision: America has voted out Michael Sarver. PTL! He gets to perform one more time, but please, he is not getting saved. (original image from Riosoriano07)

America's Next Top Model - The girls have a slumber party with former Top Model contestant, and plus size model, Toccara. She's been sent over to teach the girls about personality, because personality and confidence is important in this industry. The girls get Tyra Mail and head out to meet with BENNY NINJA, posing extraordinaire. This excites me immensely. Benny Ninja is with some DJ, talking about modeling and music going together. They're using music to motivate posing, and I could care less about the models and just want to see Benny Ninja work his amazing magical body. The girls pair up and pose to the music, which ranges from elevator to rock to jazz, and of course there are winners and duds (and the duds are the ones who have been dudding it up since day one). The challenge has the girls modeling for an event for some elite people in NYC and the audience will get to boo and cheer for the poses- amazing, bring on the boos! Lots of boos, few cheers. My girl Celia gets tons of cheers which is great. Natalie, the arrogant one from last week, wins her heat. Her and Celia go head to head to determine a winner and clearly, Celia wins, since Natalie almost falls. The girl with the burns complains again after getting booed and still not being very good; she didn't realize the toll it would have on her self esteem, wants to go home, and I just don't feel like rambling on about this but again, this is modeling moron! Tyra Mail says something about migrating, and the girls think birds, and I hope it's not birds since I'm bird-phobic. Well, it's an Ellis Island immigrant themed shoot, with old-fashioned film, standing very still, and creating dynamic fashion poses- but don't worry, Benny Ninja is in the shot (and some derelict-looking kids). Let's face it, this is a snooze, so I'm just waiting for panel to bring some excitement. However, I think it's pretty obvious based on her suckage in the challenge, photoshoot, and her increase in screentime, that Courtney, the kinda-plus size Dale Earnhart-ex, is heading home. But the girls want Talia the burn girl to go home because she wants to go home when she fails, but when she does well, she's all for it; the girls think if Talia stays they should tell panel that she doesn't want to be here. Tyra uses this episode to promote heading to a foreign land to inspire young girls- gag. The bottom 2 end up being Courtney (as I predicted) and House Bitch (who had a really dull photo). House Bitch is safe, Courtney goes home- I predicted right! Whenever Top Model focus on someone more they go home. BUT WAIT! After elimination, Celia steps up and calls out Talia the burn girl, telling the judges how Talia days ago was saying she wanted to go home and this wasn't a good career move for her. So Tyra gets pissed- at Celia! She said Talia didn't tell her, so basically, STFU, the judges decided. Served :( Like it matters- they want Talia around for the whole "story" angle of the show. (image from

Make Me A Supermodel - Tyson is out of town this week, so Michael Bergin ("supermodel", but to me, star of Baywatch!) fills in as the guy's mentor. The photoshoot involves the models posing with someone special to them: themselves. They'll pose with a mirror and exude emotions. There will be 2 winners who will get a special go-see at Montreal Fashion Week to potentially walk in a show (and each winner gets to bring someone). There are some real standouts, but some real duds who are a bit dead behind the eyes (see: young Colin). Amanda and Branden win, and they bring Colin and Montauha, and they all end up booking the job and walk in Montreal Fashion Week. The catwalk challenge is to get dressed like freaks and then do a freaky walk down the runway and for the most part, the walks are horrible. Some hot dude named Jonathan wins immunity. Amanda, despite the photographer deeming her photo best, is blasted by the judges who thinks it's emotionless and dull. She then has a mild panic attack, to which a judge declares "There's no crying in modeling" (thanks again, Tom Hanks). They basically tell her check your emotions and STFU, so that's good times. The bottom 2 are Colin and this other guy who is the only gay man on the show (and his walk was absolutely atrocious and he had to wear this weird bedazzled and bejeweled bodysuit). Anyways, the only gay man goes home to no surprise. I couldn't find a photo of him, so enjoy this video of the catwalk instead.

NOW the PAULA ABDUL MUSTACHE CONTEST!!, which is something pretty awesome. Mel Got Served is holding's its first Photoshop/Paint party. In honor of Simon's Sharpie-ing of Paula Abdul, I'm posting a photo of Paula Abdul below and want YOU to submit your best Paula mustaches. I'll post your entries on the blog. Email entries to (image from

March 25, 2009

Reality Rundown: Hey, Living in Your Parent's Basement Can't be THAT Bad...

In this week's Reality Rundown...
The Amazing RaceThe Celebrity ApprenticeTough Love
I Love MoneyDancing With the StarsThe Biggest Loser

The Amazing Race - It's the annual leg of the race where the teams go to India, specifically the pink city known as Jaipur. Upon arriving, teams take cabs to this giant tree that is pretty awesome, like that Tree of Life at Disney's Animal Kingdom but real. Anyways, to get there the teams drive through and see the cruel poverty of the country and it's hard to watch. Cows and dogs with no food, hungry children- it's very sad and usually India is the country that really teaches the teams to step back and realize what kind of world we live in. OK, enough sentimental stuff. The Roadblock involves carrying hay and water to feed a camel and since they didn't read the clue well enough, old Mel has to do this challenge and it seems horrible- until he laps all those 20-somethings by being the only one smart enough to realize buckets are for water and the giant baskets are for hay. The Flight Attendants are in the back of the pack and will also have to do a Speed Bump this leg, which ends up to be painting an elephant's trunk which is too awesome. I would have loved to do that, and I'm sure so would have the other teams. The Detour gives teams the choice between riding bikes 1 1/2 miles that are dragging 9 barrels of hay, then going through those barrels to find a tiny silver elephant, or to put on costumes and dance on the street until you make 100 rupees. And if you're dumb enough to do the bikes, you deserve to go home... which is how I felt about the little Stuntmen. We get it, you're physical! But at the same time, there was the part about finding an elephant in a haystack which is always the death of some team. I get annoyed with the Race sometimes because I feel there are Detours where they clearly want teams to pick one over the other and it would make no sense whatsoever to do the other, which defeats the point of the Detour. A Detour should be a hard choice to make because there are pros and cons to each, like you can save energy but it will take you an hour, etc. At the mat, Phil and a guy playing nose flutes welcome first place team, siblings Tammy and Victor, and I think this is their third win (and now kayak owners). The Cheerleaders get set back about 20 minutes when they can't find their cab driver in the crowds, and he has their luggage. While you don't want anything horrible to happen to these people, secretly I kind of wish something like this would happen where the luggage gets stolen because it's so dramatic and would make for amazing TV (see: Dallas losing his passport). The Flight Attendants really make up time and I hope they stay in the race because of the Stuntmen's stupid Detour choice... but it's not enough. The Stuntmen make it there about 5 minutes before the Flight Attendants so ladies are Phil-iminated. Next week: Margie gets dehydrated and passes out on the Pit Stop Mat! (images from

The Celebrity Apprentice - ACN is this week's featured product placement, I mean task. Claudia, the Deal or No Deal girl, and Brian McKnight are the PMs. The task is to do a big product launch for ACN's video phones, which I thought were obsolete since these didn't take off years ago when they were launched (I think the Real World Seattle or something had video phones, or maybe Loveline- big whoop!) The women's team can't seem to overcome drama, with chaos in the brainstorming and Claudia and Melissa Rivers butting heads. The women focus their product launch on featuring the product and including video vignettes to show the emotional moments the phone could have, like watching baby's first steps and proposing to a Playboy Playmate, but relying mostly on the hilarious Joan Rivers to entertain the crowd. The men opt for a flashy Brian McKnight concert and a video with a West Point soldier calling home. Speaking of the men, Dennis Rodman has a meltdown. I, and I think the other contestants, still have no idea how it happened but suddenly Dennis starting hollering at Clint Black about god knows what. Dennis comes back a day later ready to work but Brian doesn't want his help at all (Brian also barely gives Clint anything to do). Dennis even tries to help get expensive monitors for free but Brian doesn't care, and it kind of looks like Dennis and Clint sort of bury the hatchet. Both teams do their presentations and I preferred the women's since it was about the product (but later changed my mind, realizing the vignettes were sort of obvious videos about using the product), whereas the men's was more like a Brian McKnight promotional event. But it's not up to The Donald to pick a winner, the 450 sales people attending the event decide, and we learn 85% of those people preferred the men, so the men finally pull a victory. Catfights ensue in the boardroom with the Athena ladies, with personal outweighing business. Melissa Rivers is a producer and felt she wasn't put to good use and it wasn't until she finally stood up and directed the show that things worked and the team agrees. Claudia doesn't care though and is gunning for Melissa who thinks her personality holds them back, so Joan Rivers interjects and takes down Claudia, calling her a "musher". Khloe Kardashian also thinks Claudia was a poor leader, so Claudia calls her out for doing nothing, but Khloe defends herself. But it's hard to follow the boardroom, since The Donald was interjecting with random conversations in no way associated with the upcoming firing. He kept going back to Brande Roderick kissing the actor in their vignette and it's really annoying. Part of my problem with the celebrity version of this show is Donald considers these people more his peers, so he's not truly looking at this from a business standpoint and lets more shenanigans go on in the boardroom than the traditional version. The cheesy vignettes are what the Trumps believe lost Athena the challenge, so that's all Claudia, and despite her best efforts to take out the others (she had a shot with getting out Khloe since she did little, but Melissa was definitely staying since even Claudia admitted Melissa succeeded), Claudia goes home. I wish when she left Trump Tower she had a really shiny silver briefcase. Next week: Dennis is always drunk so they have a boardroom intervention. Ummm... dumb. (image from

Tough Love – The women first go to the gym to work with an attractive personal trainer and of course, the trainers afterwards tell Steve Baio their thoughts about the woman. One woman, Jody, won’t stop talking about her job and Steve urges her to look outside her normal type because she’s older and chances are she’s going to end up with a guy who has kids and divorced. And Stasha, who loves to sunbathe topless and yap about being in Playboy eventhough she looks like a beat Sandra Bullock, is a real hardass in the gym and a know-it-all. As her trainer points out scary, and not in a good way. But Steve is actually really great and offers a lot of good tips for dating, like texting should be on a need to know basis (listen up ladies!). Steve then sets all the women up on dates, but they’ll have an accessory to wear. I am thinking stupid hat or fake teeth to make them ugly… no, it’s those shock collars you put on dogs. Steve is going to watch the date and shock the girls when they follow their bad habits, like talking about old relationships, being negative, etc. It’s fun to watch the girls wince when the dates have no ideas they’re being shocked. Others do well on their dates, others not so well- and by others I should just say Stasha, who claimed she was Playmate of the Year, was negative, and picked her nose. ZAP! Abiola, who won last week’s challenge, gets to go on a date with the guy who she hit it off last week (Terrence) and who thought he could “take her home to mom” and “have a pillow fight with her.” She doesn’t have to wear a collar, but it wouldn’t matter anyways because they really hit it off. The House Bitch/Chyna lookalike Taylor is back and she’s so annoying because I know she’s just there for TV and asks if anyone put the zapper on their lady parts- hoe. The women get together with Steve for group therapy where they evaluate the dates to learn from others mistakes, and victories. Abiola gives her date a 9.5, and then busts out a list to explain how she gave him points, taking away and adding points- Steve rips it up! Learn about a guy before you put him on a scale. Steve is so wise. Steve reallys knows his shiznit and my mom has already indicated she’d like to set me up on an appointment to get matched by Steve- thanks Dawnald! Anyways, Steve basically tells a girl named Arianne (who apparently is a Miss Howard Stern, so I’ve likely heard her be slutty on the radio) to stop trying to be a slut and accept love, so after group therapy she starts flipping out and says she can’t wait for Steve to marry a Stepford wife and then cheat on the wife with a girl like her- then she calls home crying to her mom. I enjoy this show! No eliminations, just self growth. Well for some of them. (Image from

I Love Money - The challenge this week to hang high above water and untangle ropes, and if anyone releases themselves before being untangled they get a 10 minute penalty. The other catch is only 3 people participate: the team captain and 2 people they consider most loyal (the other teammates will hang up as dead weight). Saaphyri is the Green captain and she chooses The Entertainer and Frenchy- they finish the challenge in 6 minutes. Tailor Made is Gold's captain and selects Ice and Prancer- but this doesn't stop Buckwild and 20 Pack from trying to throw the challenge by rocking the ropes. And it works- Tailor Made falls! But it turns out, TM (Tailor Made) didn't pull his release, the rope broke on it's own, so Gold gets to do the challenge a second time and wins. BOO! So now they need to figure out who should go in the box for elimination, and TM is gunning for the Entertainer. The Entertainer tries his hardest to get everyone else in the box, especially It, which doesn't please It (who has been in talks with the Gold Team) or his "romance alliance" Saaphyri. So now, Saaphyri isn't trusting The Entertainer and is thinking of getting him in the box with It's help. And she does it- Frank is in the box and he is livid. So now The Entertainer goes to get Saaphyri in the box, and the gloves are OFF. But there isn't a consensus, and if there isn't a consensus the Gold Team's Paymaster chooses who goes into the box- and time runs out, so TM chooses Frenchy, Saaphyri, and Frank. Man I hate Tailor Made, but it's a masterful play to take out someone from that alliance. The Power Outing is lots of fighting between Entertainer and Saaphyri, both trying their hardest to get the other out, whereas Frenchy thinks everyone should get laid. Frenchy is easily saved, so it comes to Frank the Entertainer and Saaphyri. While TM knows Frank would be loyal to him, TM already has an alliance so the Entertainer is GONE and he lets out one reeeeeally long "F***********k!" (see image). Served by Tailor Made. How sad- I was routing for The Entertainer so he could get out of his parent's basement. But now, teams are gone, it's individuals baby! (amazing animated image from

Dancing with the Stars - I really watch this show for the blog, so don't mind if there is little to no interest here! I watched a 2 hour episode in about 25 minutes. I didn't watch Steve Wozniak cause I knew he'd be a clunker. Steve-O was (judges not so much) injured again this week but I thought he wasn't too bad (. Shawn Johnson is my pick to win, but I know Gilles Marini could give her a run for the title. Ty Murray's partner, the professional, slipped during their performance so that was entertaining. Lil' Kim's face is still scary, Holly Madison looked like a Barbie doll dancing- meaning her limbs didn't move. I don't remember much else but if this is a "fair" competition, the Woz has to get eliminated this week. And you won't believe this but I actually watched the results show but there's 2 words and a conjuction of why I watched: HALL & OATES. They perform "Maneater" while the professional dancers do some jazzy stuff. That Adele chick performs too but I fast-forward. Actually I fast forward through everything but results and Hall & Oates. So the couples in the bottom 2 and are going to have a dance off are... Holly Madison and Denise Richards. Battle of the E! Babes! After the Showdown, Denise Richards is eliminated. Hey: It's Complicated! But the best part of the night is at the end of the episode they play "She's Gone" by Hall & Oates and that gives me a hearty laugh! (original image from

The Biggest Loser - Teams are out, individuals are in. Everyone gets to re-don their original colors and select their trainer. Lazy Laura, has-to-win-everything-Tara, Helen, and the young Mike stay with Jillian (young Mike chose by a flip of the coin, which offends Bob). Kristen, Aubrey, Sione, Filipe, and scary-without-a-shirt Ron join Bob. So they all train and Kristen is just a few pounds shy of the big 100 so she really wants Bob's help this week; Tara is also close. Time for a challenge with immunity on the line. First, all the contestants have a bunch of blocks that indicate how much weight they lost. They will spread this weight out to other people and this weight will impact them in the second part of the challenge. Everyone gives their weight to Tara (257 lbs) and Helen (215 lbs) basically. Helen takes it in stride, but Tara gets all pissy and hey Tara, quit whining. You are the strongest person in the competition, why would they not handicap you? I guess the whole laughing in her face about it is harsh, but I laughed really hard too because I'm tired of her attitude of being the best and having to win it all. So the challenge is that they'll have to pull a car half a mile and in those cars they will add the extra weight (also add in a Nascar and Cheerios product placement). Sione and Young Mike start in the lead, but all the rage inside Tara turns her into the Hulk and SHE WINS AGAIN. Jesus, and she wonders why they (and me) can't stand her. Cause then in her interviews, she's a braggart. After the last chance work outs, time for the weigh-in. Tara's immune so weighs in first and is 4 lbs away from the 100 lb milestone... and she loses 3 lbs- HAHA! Kristen, the 100lbs is yours for the taking!! Kristen gets up on the scale and loses 8 lbs!!! Kristen makes history and is now the biggest female on-campus loser, for all seasons of the show. Sione also hits the 100 lb milestone, but that happens all the time for dudes (and already happened to young Mike), but still, good for him cause I like Sione. So the 2 lowest weigh loss losers fall below the bottom line and are up for elimination; those 2 are Aubrey and Filipe. Oh no! Filipe lost 101 lbs total, but that's not enough weight to keep him safe this week. I fear Filipe is going home- he's a huge threat, though Aubrey can be a threat and is a total loud mouth. And with lots of tears and giant silver platters, Aubrey is going home. But the good thing is Aubrey can help her dad, who's got to be pushing 500-600 lbs lose the weight too. But as soon as she gets home, she starts gaining weight. In 3 weeks, she gained back 9 lbs because at home she puts everyone else first, which is how she got fat the first time. But it's inspired her to get back on the treadmill and drop those pounds- her goal is to be 125 for the finale. We shall see! Next week: Second chance to re-enter the game! And scary-without-a-shirt Ron has a medical scare! (image from

March 23, 2009

Serving of the Week

3/23/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 1 comment
SERVING of the Week

Name: Dr. Jack Shephard
SERVED: This week on Lost, Dr. Jack Shephard returned to Lost island after 3 years back in the real world (along with Kate, Hurley, and Sayid). Jack dreamt for years of returning to his island glory of being a leader and being with his people. Wrong! It's now 1977 (they traveled back in time) and SAWYER, aka LaFleur, is the main man in charge. And to keep their cover, they all will have to work for the Dharma Initiative. Jack's been assigned the position of Work Man, aka Janitor! The doctor got SERVED! Juliet, who used to fawn over Jack? Now living and in love with Sawyer! SERVED! Now 2 women who thought you had a chance with are into Sawyer. Then Jack criticizes Sawyer for reading books instead of getting them out of this- boo, someone hates literacy! But Sawyer totally SERVES Jack, saying that while Jack always just reacts to things, while Sawyer thinks about things first so that he doesn't get everyone killed like Jack did. SERVED!

Thing someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

March 20, 2009

Reality Rundown: My Very First Codpiece

Sad news Rundown fans: no Survivor this week. I know, I'm extremely depressed as well. This week's Rundown will be somewhat shorter since there's no Survivor and I decided The Chopping Block wasn't worth my time. Enough blabbing, let's get this Rundown started!

In this Reality Rundown...

American IdolFrom G's to GentsAmerica's Next Top Model
Make Me a Supermodel

American Idol - It's country week and I'm cringing because I dislike country (except Reba!) and usually contestants royally maim the songs. But I was pleasantly surprised this week because they weren't too bad. However, not a single Reba song- total BS! Where's some "Fancy"?? My favorite now, 2 weeks in a row, is Matt Giraud. He did a great job last night and I could see myself listening to his music. Anoop stepped up his game and showed Simon he deserved to be there. Danny Gokey was OK, but he sang Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" and that song is weird. But of course, there were stumbles. Lil Rounds wasn't great- her chorus was good, best the rest blah. And then the judges say she should've done "I Will Always Love You" which I think is the country week cop-out for R&B singers, so I'm at least glad she didn't go so cliche. Pink hair girl Alexis did "Jolene" and it was bad. The Oil Driller stunk- worst of the night by far and deserves to go home. Blind Guy was boring as usual. Paula told him he should not play the piano because he uses it as a crutch- yet she didn't bring that up with Matt Giraud, who also sits behind a piano and performs; and Simon disagreed with Paula thinking the piano works. Paula needs to word things better, because clearly she meant he needs to connect with the audience but isn't. Here's an idea for Blind Guy: pick songs we know and stop being so dull! He makes such odd picks. But my personal worst of the night was Matt Lambert's complete and utter destruction of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," a personal fave. Simon called it indulgent, and he was so right on. It was this weird goth meets Egyptian sitar meets The Doors rendition and it was absolutely horrible (Paula compared it to Led Zepplin's "Kashmir" and I wonder if she's heard the song, because "Kashmir" sounds nothing like the crap just performed). I really hated it, but I'm sure others loved it- diff'rent strokes. So based on Tuesday's performances, I think Oil Driller should go home, because he's a bad singer and oddly proportioned.

So results show, which I again FF'ed through 92% of it. They let 3 people off the hook quickly and then make the 16 year old and the Oil Driller (my pick to go home) stand up, and Ryan sends 16 year old to the stage, and I get pissed! How can Oil Driller be safe, he was horrible! Not so fast, he's brought down too- phew! And then they dramatically hold off Adam Lambert, who I hated, and Alexis, who had a down night, til the end and I know stupid Adam is safe. When they ask Randy which of those 2 will be in the bottom he says Allison... ummm, her name is Alexis and she looks pretty pissed about Randy not even knowing her name. So for the bottom 3, they send 16 year old back right away (she's Allison), and it's down to Alexis and Oil Drilling Michael Sarver, so clearly Michael is going home. The judges say that between those 2, they would use the save potentially on one of them. WRONG! Michael is safe; I'm livid. But the judges do tell Alexis that she is a contestant they'd considering using the save on (take THAT, Sarver!), so she performs again but it's not good enough and Alexis is gone. Now here's my thing: if a person is getting eliminated, it's because they chose a bad song and stunk the night before, so if they have to re-perform the same song that got them into the bottom to save them, then how will they be helped? They should have a backup song available to help show that they deserve it. Ugh, so Michael Sarver stays and is now part of the Idol tour. Good thing I wouldn't go to that crap or I'd be severely annoyed. (images from

From G's to Gents - The G's learn about business and career goals from reality TV and bar/restaurant empire runner, Mike "Boogie" Malin. As a Big Brother fan, it's good to see him. Fahim seems to be least interested in future goals, citing "gangsta" as past job, and no career aspirations except to be Fahim a "gentle-man." For the task this week, the G's run a photo shoot for rapper E-40, and I hope there is some Santana DVX on the set. Fahim is made team leader which is a no-brainer mistake. While dealing with the models Fahim croses the line and calls them something bleeped (I'm thinking ho's) and that's a big no-no. Mito steps up and takes the leadership role, but the rest of the team doesn't appreciate it. Teddy is the best in the challenge so gets immunity, but crappy boss Fahim gets to hang out with E-40 afterwards and pick one friend... and he picks Lank, because he's funny. Mito's pissed because he thinks Lank didn't do any work, but mostly because he wants to chill with 40. Back at the house, the G's tell Lank they think he did crappy this challenge, but Lank says Mito was being too bossy and that Mito is a fake thug. G-fight! Black Ball ceremony! Lank gets one vote and Mr. Bentley says "one vote is personal" so Lank goes off on Mito- but Mito didn't vote for Lank! It was Blue- hahaha! Mito's box is pretty full, mostly because they think he's already a gentlemen and has a steady life. And Fahim gets the last ball, courtesy of Mito, because he feels Fahim isn't a good representative of the Gentlemen's Club. Fahim's membership gets denied and he lets out one last loud "FAHIM!" Mr. Bentley reminds the G's of why they're here and who they should be voting for: you're supposed to progress and make strides. Next week: survival! (image from

America's Next Top Model - A girl named Nijah is the first person to talk in the episode, so going by the ANTM formula, she'll be going home. Miss J teaches the girls to walk and one girl, Natalie, has modeled before and is way cocky about being the best. The girl with the big eyes is awful and needs a lot of work. So it's no surprise that the next day is a runway challenge for designer Jill Stuart, which leads the girls to think someone will go home then, so they all practice. The show goes well and many take Miss J's lessons to heart- even big eyed girl isn't so bad. Model-it-all Natalie wins the challenge, but is disliked by the girl with the burns (Tahlia), since Natalie in Truth or Dare said Tahlia had the weakest picture last panel. BURN! Oh, bad word use- that seriously was unintentional, but I'm leaving it. The photo shoot this week is to ride on a double decker bus around famous spots in NYC and pose as pairs in character, like Wall Street Brokers, Time Square Tourists, and Nannies. The worst picture is the pair as Muses in SoHo or something like that- and that Nijah girl mentioned above is in it, so do the math. Model-it-all Natalie is the weakest in her trio of Tourists, with Tahlia even better than her (but she still isn't very good). And big eyed girl doesn't do well either. In panel, House Bitch is awarded best picture of the week, and she deserves it as she was finally good. The bottom 2 ends up being Nijah and big-eyed girl, and Nijah goes home- the formula lives on! (image from

Make Me A Supermodel - Everyone can't stand CJ and her bad attitude, so when everyone has to take group shots, no one wants CJ in their group. The group shots are sports themed and they'll be flying on harnesses. The first group is a total flop since none of them know sports. But other groups do particularly well, especially Amanda, Laury, and Kerryn who have to do rugby, and they think they have the best photo and one of them will win the go-see. Indeed they do win best photo and the best person in the photo is Amanda, who wins a go-see to Bloomingdale's. But Laury is pissed and when probed by the group if they think Amanda had the best picture Laury says (paraphrasing), "Well she was in the best picture, but I don't think she's best in it." ME-OW! What a bitch- someone is this show's new House Bitch. Laury thinks she deserved it, eventhough in her picture her face has a horrible growl look, as mentor Nicole points out. So Amanda goes on the go-see and brings Kerryn with her, and they talk a lot about Amanda being a single mom. Amanda rocks the go see and Bloomie's almost books her, but just thinks she's not ready yet. While at the go-sees, the other contestants put on wigs and costumes for a zany impromptu photo shoot and they realize CJ isn't so bad. Catwalk! They'll be wearing sporty outfits accompanied by this weird wire-ish things, I can't explain. And codpieces for the men! As one guy interviews, "This is my very first codpiece. Got to mark this down on the calendar." At the end of the catwalk they need to pose in an Olympic sport-inspired pose, and this can get pretty funny (girl who pretends to bowl). Jonathan is one of the best, with a good cricket pose but also not being intimidated by the codpiece, but Kerryn wins for her great improvement and pose (tennis maybe?). In the end, the bottom 2 are bad attitude Gabe (who blamed CJ for his bad picture) and Karen (who makes the scariest dead-in-headlights look at the end of the catwalk). They decide to give Gabe one last chance and Karen and those scary eyes are not supermodel material. (image from

March 18, 2009

Reality Rundown: It's a Pretty-full "Lion"

In this Reality Rundown...

The Amazing RaceThe Celebrity ApprenticeNew! Tough Love
I Love MoneyDancing with the StarsThe Biggest Loser

The Amazing Race - The race heads to Russia this week, where all the teams are caught up to each other since they have to take the one train to Russia and it has sleeper cars. How fun! It's like the Hogwarts Express! Right off the bat, the sisters don't follow the pack and end up behind. The Detour is a choice between driving a snowplow or finding a Russian bride and delivering her to her future hubbie. Mike and Mel opt for the brides because they take the same attitude I have towards the Race: pick whichever is more fun, and what is more fun than Russian brides? The teams also have to drive around Russia using a stick shift which doesn't seem to cause as much trouble as it usually does. The flight attendants, who were first last week, pay someone to direct them and end up at a wrong church and way behind. Dumb! Cab drivers and locals always say they know where the place is because they want money, not because they really know. And for the Roadblock, a team member (and host Phil!) has to get down into their skivvies and run a marathon. Not a lot of whistling and hooting, but there are a few awkward glances. The mom and son come in first again and at this point, I really am thinking it's non-elimination. And when the flight attendants check in last Phil is sorry to tell them that they'll be starting last next week and will need to complete a Speed Bump along with their other tasks. Non-elimination episodes always kind of feel like a tease or a time-waster, but I do enjoy the Speed Bumps so we'll see how it goes. (image from

The Celebrity Apprentice - KOTU and Athena open up competiting wedding dress stores this week, with project managers Tom Green and Brande Roderick (Playboy Playmate, but more importantly, Baywatch babe). The women focus on making it a real experience, with flowers, champagne, bridal consultants, makeovers, etc. Dennis volunteers to walk the streets to get hype going, but hype to Dennis means Vodka Cranberrys at local restaurants. On the day of the challenge, Dennis has "an allergic reaction to cats" and doesn't show up, and this is a huge detriment. Had Dennis been on my team, I would've used Dennis and his past experience in a wedding dress to sell the hell out of my gowns. The men's store is pretty ugly and they know they are relying more on "corporate funding" which means begging famous friends for money. Clint Black and Hershel Walker both get huge donations, but so do the women. In the end, the women win again with $100,000 made (the men made around $60k). The men are back in the backroom and it's down to Tom, a bad leader who may have overslept, and Dennis, who didn't show and didn't care. Jesse James recommends sending both home, which would be the right thing to do. But instead, Donald fires Tom because he needs Dennis for the ratings. So now the men's team has a whole bunch of dullards with no business accumen. The ladies are going to take this whole thing. Joan Rivers FTW! (For the Win) (original image from

New! Tough Love - Some guy named Steve Ward who sounds just like Scott Baio is a matchmaker that will help 8 hopeless women improve themselves and find love in a house I believe was used for either Rock of Love or Flavor of Love. I can't figure out what show was filmed there before and it's driving me nuts. First way to do it- speed date and point out your flaws. THEN have guys give their honest opinion of them like "F*** her, not date her" and "fat." Hey, deal with it ladies, the show's call Tough Love! So to help them get better there is one easy first step. You guessed it: MAKEOVERS! After makeovers, the claws come out, mostly from some annoying skank named Taylor, who looks like Chyna meets Khloe Kardashian. New quote of my life: "Every guy wants a cat fight, but nobody wants to date the cat!" The ladies then get a night out on the town and the guys from speed dating are there and the women are doing pretty well. And after the night on the town, again the guys they talk to give their opinions about the ladies, some positive ("best personality", "can take home to mom," and of course "have a pillow fight with"), some negative ("nothing 8 guys can even remember of her"). Steve Baio then gives critiques and tells them he has to trust him and believe in themselves- motivational! So boot camp begins and it looks like Bad Girls Club looking for love, but without the arrests. (image from

I Love Money - The challenge- strip to bathing suits and retrieve 6 gold coins out of big chunks of ice. It's neck and neck the whole time- even Buckwild is helping her team out. That is until coin 6, in one of the most amazing, hilarious challenge throwings I've seen on a reality show. Prancer and Buckwild retrieve the last coin and when it's loose, Buckwild grabs it and makes a mad dash to throw it into the ocean. Green wins and Frenchy is the Paymaster, which for her means trying to get 20 Pack to sleep with her or look at her self described "pretty-full" boobs to stay in the game. And speaking of showmance, Saaphyri and It (yes, that's his name) make out during truth or dare. That's right- It is still in the game and not in a single alliance. Someone I considered one of the most annoying people on all the I Loves show could win this! The Tailor Made Alliance is trying really hard to put another person in the box to convince Frenchy to kick out someone on her alliance, she they go with Bonez. Don't waver Frenchy! So on the power outing, nerdo Bonez busts out a paper list with the names of all the new alliance members she could have. But as he lists names, he says Cali. But wait, isn't Cali on the Entertainer alliance? Looks like Cali is most likely to be SERVED in the future. At elimination, Frenchy gets 20 Pack to french kiss her to stay in the game and it's creepy of course. My girl Buckwild is safe again because she's "royal" to Frenchy (she means loyal), and Bonez is gone- take that Tailor Made "lion" (poor Angelique can't pronounce alliance). (image from

Dancing with the Stars - Again, I watched in fast forward so it's limited coverage. The salsa and the quickstep are the two dances for the night, and despite calling it quickstep, it's really boring. Best scores are given to Gilles "Full Frontal" Marini (all 9's!) and Melissa the jilted Bachelorette. Steve Wozniak is still awful and there is no way he'll last. Steve-O got injured so didn't dance and viewers have to judge based on his dress performance, which I didn't find bad but the judges said in no way was it a salsa. I find myself routing for Holly, Hef's ex, cause she's bubbly and an underdog. Little Shawn Johnson the gymnast was great again, but she was so spray tanned it was creepy- she also reminded me of Amy Roloff. Sorry! I don't watch the results show, but learned the results from Jimmy Kimmel Live. This year, America votes and the bottom 2 pairs compete in a dance off and the judges decide. So much for America's pick, but it makes sense. So the bottom 2 are Steve Wozniak and Belinda Carlisle from the Go Go's, with Belinda going home. I'm ok with that. (image from

The Biggest Loser - Alison reveals to the contestants that they are all going home for a week and everyone is excited to see their families, but nervous because going home also presents a lot of challenges and temptations. Speaking of temptations, one arrives! In a bucket, the Losers are told that while at home they will be running a half marathon (13 miles) for a challenge and the winner gets $10,000, but they won't know who won until they return to the ranch. The temptation is that there are 13 cookies in that bucket and for each cookie you eat, you can add 5 minutes to someone else's time, so has-to-win-everything Tara better watch out. Helen eats a cookie, and according to what we see, Aubrey eats at least one. So they all run their marathons and no surprise, Tara wins, but only by 1 minute (if Sione hadn't got a cramp and stopped he so would've won). A bunch of stuff happens at home where they inspire friends and family to lose weight and have to avoid junk food, etc etc. Back at the ranch, the results of the challenge are given and Tara won the marathon- but did she have any time penalties? YES! 5 minutes from Helen- Sione wins! But I'm confused because it clearly looked like Aubrey ate cookies. So either it was a fake out, or she's not fessing up. Tara is bitter, obviously, pointing out to Helen that Helen ate a cookie and still didn't win. Last chance workout! They've focused on Aubrey a lot this episode, so I think her time must be coming to an end. At the weigh-in, my poor Kristen gains 1lb and her mom loses only 1lb, so Black wins the weigh-in... again. So the tough decision comes of who to send home, and scary-without-shirt Ron is immune. Aubrey looks like the clear choice to go home, since Kathy, Kristen, and Ron have been a mini alliance of former Bob team. But Kathy volunteers to go home. And I find it amusing that Aubrey keeps saying, "You don't need to sacrifice yourself for me. But I mean, I do want to be here." It came off like a back-handed compliment sort of thing to me. So at Elimination, Kathy goes home and Kristen is left to fight for herself- tear! (images from

March 16, 2009

Serving of the Week

3/16/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
SERVING of the Week

Name: Dave Robbins
SERVED: According to Dave himself, he got SERVED yesterday at Wendy's when he specifically asked for honey mustard sauce for his nuggets, and then didn't receive any sauce at all. Total BS... and totally SERVED.

Congratulations Dave on being Mel Got Served's first SERVED of the Week (and beating out the guy on All My Children who got served by a Process Server for custody).

March 13, 2009

Reality Rundown: There's No Crying in Photoshoots!

In this Reality Rundown...
American IdolFrom G's to GentsThe Chopping Block
America's Next Top ModelMake Me A SupermodelSurvivor

American Idol - Those of you who know me will know that I'm a huge fan of Michael Jackson's music (not his creepy ways, just his fantastic music), so it was bittersweet to find out he was this week's theme on Idol. Good because I can hear Michael songs, bad because it's really bad karaoke versions of it. And speaking of Michael Jackson, please make sure you check out the the Michael Jackson auction listing where he's getting rid of everything- the toys and videogames he has are amazing- not to mention all the life size fake butlers and people. I thought the women were pretty bad all around, except that teen girl who always makes weird mouth movements. The guys were definitely good, especially Adam Lambert (who my dad pointed out looks like Garth Brooks' failed alter ego, Chris Gaines) and Matt Giraud (who I didn't care for previously but really enjoyed this week). I liked Kris Allen and his guitar, however I am pretty convinced after watching in slo-mo that he was fake playing. He was making the chords and strumming, but his fingers sure weren't touching- this could be a potential Serving from me. Jasmine and her amazing mother are back and while she wasn't as depressed looking, she was still fantastic. The bored audience member of the night went to a brunette girl sitting behind Cara the judge, who rolled her eyes, yawned, and was incredibly bored the whole time. The best part of the night was the final contestant's phone number, which was non-sequential because apparently 1-866-IDOLS-13 is a phone sex line. I found this only appropriate since the contestant also performed "Dirty Diana." (images from RedHotJezebel and Riosoriano07)

On the results show we learn of a new twist which allows the judges to veto America's decision one time the entire season if they feel the person deserves a second chance- like a Chris Daughtry incident. Going home tonight are Jasmine (and her mom! Nooooo!) and Jorge. Jorge, I told you when I yelled at the TV that you should've done "I Just Can't Stop Loving You (Spanish Version)" And are they saved by the veto? Of course not. In non-contestant Idol, Kanye "The [Self-Proclaimed] Voice of Our Generation" West performed and so did Kelly Clarkson, who has shunned the show since her original victory. Someone wants to sell albums!! (image from

From G's to Gents - This week the G's learn about charity, so they are split into teams and have to create a skit to teach kids about two lessons: don't do drugs and don't join gangs. Baron is team captain of the drug skit, and it involves some weird bunny which no one explains in the skit, so the kids don't understand. [You're my Boy!] Blue is the other team captain and his play about gangs is great, and in the Q&A with the kids Blue emotionally explains to the kids that he used to be in a gang and got out because he didn't want his family involved. Blue's team wins, so Blue is safe and gets to save one team member, so he picks Link (or is it Lank?) In another twist, the losing team captain needs to pick someone to not be safe, so he picks Mito who gets pissed. Then Baron calls home and his friend tells him "I have bad news for you, you're having twins"- so he begins to consider going home. While all this is going on, Protege is still a lazy weasel, so it's no surprise that of the 8 balls to give out he has 6. Protege goes home FINALLY and Baron stays another week, realizing he needs this experience to change him and be a better dad and provider. Next week: running a music video shoot for a hip hop legend. (image from

The Chopping Block - I actually saw a screening of The Chopping Block about 6 months ago in a market research testing place in Las Vegas- I got $15 for my opinions which then went right to the roulette table, and then into Planet Hollywood's big ole' bank account. So finally this show is on the air, and it's a bit different than when I first watched. This time it had a much faster pace, wasting no time jumping into the show and barely introducing the couples. In case you don't know the premise, couples are competing to win a restaurant. The host is Marco Pierre White, a world class chef who trained Mario Batali (Molto Mario!) and Gordon Ramsey. 8 pairs are split into 2 teams and will have their own restaurant across the street from each other; one person in each pair is a chef, the other a server. Each week they will be judged by an anonymous food critic dining in the restaurant, and one pair is sent home. I really enjoyed Marco who seemed to be a true chef with good criticism who doesn't sound scripted or rehearsed like a certain British chef he trained. The Black team doesn't fare well, with slow service, cold food, and undercooked chicken. The Red team does decent, except for running out of filet mignon, awful desserts, and some inexperienced servers. The Red team wins, so Black has to send someone home. And for the first episode, it gets vicious! Blame is thrown back and forth between the Brothers and the Mother/Daughter. In the end, it's two comical cousins who go home because they don't want this drama. Fun fact: when I took that market research survey, before the episode aired, they showed pictures and descriptions and asked for first impressions and who you liked best. I chose the cousins. Whoops! (image from

America's Next Top Model - Makeovers! Or in Top Model world, whose hair will they chop off and who goes to a frightening level of blonde? Makeovers can't be normal so of course there's a weird James Bond/spy theme with "Fierce Dossiers" or something like that and I'm really over the word "fierce"- retire it already! I think like 4 girls are made into blondes, and cute little Vo gets her hair cut shorter and now feels butch, or as she describes, "You know Plain Jane? Well I feel like Plain Jane's brother." One annoying girl panics about getting her long locks cut and is a real jerk, but she gets Served by the Jays because her hair is perfect as is. They tell her she needs to be a little more open to these changes in the future. There's some challenge involving hocking Cover Girl mascara (I will add, I use that mascara and it's very good), and then the photoshoot which has the girls in group shots controlling their own light. Some girls really impress, some girls think they are amazing but only mediocre (House Bitch!), and others tank. Nole Marin, who used to be a fabulous judge on the show, returns to guest judge and one girl's photo is so awful he can't stand to look at it- yet, she doesn't land in the bottom 2, which is BS and clearly it's just so Tyra can a point about embracing the makeovers. The bottom 2 are Vo, with her short butch hair that makes her more model-esque but cried at the photoshoot about her hair, and some Spanish girl whose pretty just isn't translating to film. The Spanish girl is eliminated and clearly still doesn't get why they eliminated her since she thinks she should stay because she's prettier than a bunch of the girls... sigh. I couldn't find any good crying pictures, so enjoy some Miss J! (image from

Make Me A Supermodel - After ANTM I really was looking forward to the real modeling show. First up is a photoshoot where they have to be candy. The two that got Peppermint really rock it, while Sandhurst as gumballs look great. There are some other good ones, and one or two duds who just weren't into it. The winner is the girl who did Peppermint and she goes on a go-see to Miss Sixty, where she also learns the true world of modeling because they say they wouldn't book her because her hips are wide and make her look bad in jeans, plus she's not sexy enough- zing! But that's real modeling, not the sugar coated Tyra crap. Makeovers again! This time by Tabitha from Tabitha's Salon Takeover. I don't usually like Tabitha because she wears an earpiece and is fed lines to say, but this time it was genuine and her being natural. Everyone's makeovers look great, but one blonde CJ gets pissy about her makeover because her hair gets shortened to below the chin a bit and dyed brown. At the catwalk, CJ yawns, rolls her eyes, and looks bored, but she's safe. The androgenous guy goes home because he's just not supermodel worthy. (image from

Survivor - The show's "Previously On" recap really focuses on the secret cross-tribe alliance, so I'm guessing one of those 4 will go home tonight, likely ringleaders Taj or Brendan. Taj and her tribemate Steven find the Immunity Idol and instead of burying it, she asks Steve to hold onto it. DUMB! Taj keeps talking about how she possesses the Idol but she's wrong, Steve has all the power now even if she found it. A reward challenge that involves tugging a rope and spinning other tribemates (I would've sat this one out) sends the winning team on a reward to the Charmin Cafe, filled with pastries, coffee, fresh water, soft Charmin toilet paper, and a working toilet, which is good because with no food, coffee will run through your system like whoa. Brendan from Timbira is sent to Exile and he brings Steven. They talk about the cross-tribe alliance and while Steve is into it, he's also smart and knows to keep this in his back pocket while maintaining other bonds. Timbira isn't stupid and knows that Brendan must be making good bonds with the other tribe and they need to watch out for him. At the immunity challenge, they have to launch balls with a slingshot and their tribemates have to catch them- first to 5 wins. Jalapao takes an early lead cause the hick guy, I forget his name, is amazing- so amazing that he chips his tooth in the challenge and then just tosses the tooth away (Jeff picks it up and returns it). But Timbira's tall skinny giant, Tyson, ends up winning the challenge, so Jalapao is back to Tribal Council. Taj is in a bad mood about losing the challenge ("hot" as she describes), which is funny considering she perfomed so poorly, and her attitude is annoying the tribe. Not to mention, Taj has been in Exile a lot so her team barely knows her- why keep her around? The guys are also leaning towards young Spencer (who we find out is gay, but he doesn't tell his tribe) because they believe he's the weakest and lost the challenge for them. But Taj's ego is killing me- I think she's thinking too far ahead in the game and focusing on the merge rather than surviving right now. Tribal Council comes and unlike Timbira, no one on this tribe seems to think much of Taj and Exile or having the Idol. Taj tells her tribe she doesn't have the Idol (true! Steve has it- you found it). But in the end little Spencer's torch is snuffed and Taj lives to fight another week. Next week: Tyson walks around naked and booty pops. (image from

March 11, 2009

Reality Rundown: An EEEasy Decision

In this Reality Rundown...

The Amazing RaceThe Celebrity ApprenticeI Love Money
Dancing With the StarsThe Biggest Loser

The Amazing Race - The team's are off to Siberia this week and again plagued by flight troubles. 3 teams easily make it to Siberia, while the other 5 miss the connection in Moscow and have to wait. This gives the 3 teams a huge leg up, and the flight attendants win the leg, with the sisters coming in second. However, the stuntmen blow this huge lead with poor directional skills. For the Roadblock, teams either have to stack logs or build and install shutters. Everyone opts for the logs (with one guy there very happy to congratulate the "cure girls"), but once those logs tumble, several teams switch to the shutters. Sadly this week there is no rolling cheese or pies, but one person for the Roadblock does get to go on a metal bobslide ride, where they also have to remember 6 letters and unscramble them to determine a Russian playwright. Most racers really don't have knowledge of Russian literature, so figuring out the answer was Chekhov proved trying to many. While eventually they all got it, with no knowledge of Russian and no mention of Chekhov before, I just think this was a tricky task. But tonight was the first U Turn of the race, but with a twist! Usually U Turns require the team that gives the penalty to reveal themselves, but now, they don't have to which makes it far more interesting. I was saying if the show wants drama and to make it harder, the U Turn should have to be given out say by the first team to get there. Anyhoo, Margie and Luke (the mother/deaf son team) play the strategy card and give it to the dating couple whose names I do not know. The dating couple has to do both roadblocks (after they had quit the logs before) and since they were in last place when they were given the U Turn, they obviously go home. But here's my thought on how to make the Race a little more exciting. Instead of awarding trips and prizes to the first place team each week, give them an advantage in the next leg, like a penalty to give to another team, a time advantage, maybe even a GPS. I think that could make for more interesting race legs rather than winning a trip to Cozumel or motorcycles. Next week on the Race: running in skivvies! (image from

The Celebrity Apprentice - The project this week is to create a comic book character for, an online shoe and shopping paradise with excellent customer service. The men pick Scott Hamilton as project manager since he was organized last week, and the ladies pick Khloe Kardashian because she has retail experience. The ladies suffer a bit from a lack of a leader at first, but Khloe eventually steps up and does a decent job. They create some character called Mizz Z and make some pro-golfer on their team dress as the character and she doesn't like to dress skanky. The men's team is just plain nuts. Clint Black spends the whole time arguing with everyone, Tom Green wants his opinions heard so makes a scene, and Scott comes up with the worst name for a character ever: EEE (for everytime, everywhere, everything?)- instead of using the Z name to go along with Zappos. The men's presentation is pretty good, courtesy of Tom Green sucking up his dislike for the name, etc and making a good speech, but the name is what ultimately loses them the challenge. Scott only wants to take Tom in the boardroom, but brings Hershel Walker in with him to have someone else on his side. Hershel in this episode came off as thinking he is high and mighty- sort of bossing people around without them knowing. He thinks he's all-knowing but just comes off as annoying to me. Plus, Tom Green is entertaining and the rest of the men's team are a snooze. Anyways, Tom and Scott duke it out- the Donald points out Clint should've been in the boardroom for being such a distraction. Lots of back and forth arguing and interrupting and talking about testicular cancer, but in the end Scott Hamilton is sent home. While Scott is a good dude, his leadership stunk and he's not creative at all. The Apprentice is about, for whatever this is worth, creative thinking and that's Tom, not Scott. Tom has already promised to be the PM next week so he's ready to take on the challenge which we see next week is... selling wedding dresses. Someone get Dennis Rodman back into a wedding dress STAT! (image from

I Love Money - The Chicken Catapult is back! Paymasters this week are Ice for Gold and Entertainer for Green. The women set up the catapults and the Entertainer single-handedly wins the challenge for Green, catching all 5 raw chickens. On the Gold team, they couldn't get their catapult to work and caught none. The Vault ends up throwing in the Entertainer's alliance of Buckwild, 20 Pack and Heat and the Entertainer is pissed because his plan was to get rid of the snake, Tailor Made. But Tailor Made's alliance of losers pulled a fast one. We also learn later, in an Ocean's 11-esque montage, that the Gold team threw the challenge, with Ice making sure the catapult didn't work- pretty sneaky sis! Heat and 20 Pack get completely wasted before the power outing and are a mess- the Entertainer asks his team to choose who should stay and go between Heat and 20 Pack. Buckwild and The Entertainer are showmancing and have a weird makeout session when he gives her the check- it's awkward. In the end, Heat is sent packing and BAWLS. He joins the club of men bawling on TV that were having the best week ever last week (new BFF for Jason and Macho!) (image from

Dancing with the Stars - Let me preface by saying I don't like this show at all. My mom is a fan though so we watched the premiere and if I report more going forward I'll probably be reporting the opinions of my mother, an avid reader of Mel Got Served. I will say that I am routing for any pair that includes a former So You Think You Can Dance contestant. Sadly, adorable Chelsea Hightower has been paired with Mr. Jewel, Ty Murray, so she is not going to last long. Current front runners: rapper Lil Kim, gymnast Shawn Johnson, jilted Bachelorette Melissa, and some guy who showed his manparts in the Sex and the City movie. I am routing for Steve-O and David Allen Grier (DAG!) for entertainment purposes. The quick to go's include Ty Murray, Steve Wozniak, and likely Steve-O. Maybe some other people who are only half celebs that I can't even remember. But when I watch this show, I will watch half the routine and then skip to the next routine. I can't stand the judges at all and Samantha Harris the co-host is so awful and dead behind the eyes. But if I had to call a winner now, my money is on Bachelorette Melissa, who tied for second last night after only 48 hours of rehearsal. While she has dancing experience and is sort of a ringer, who cares, she's good. And it allows more Jason bashing- Bachelorgate '09! (image from

The Biggest Loser - We finish off the To Be Continued of last week and learn Dan lost enough weight to keep both teams safe. But Alison has more news: this week, it's not about team weight. Instead, they will be in head-to-head face offs- whoever loses more gets a point for their team, first team to 3 wins. The winner of the pop challenge gets to determine the face offs and can't-ever-lose-a-challenge Tara wins again. Her pairings clearly indicate another Blue loss. Everyone is training hard, except Filipe who is getting no one-on-one training from Jillian, which is pretty BS. While he can continue to do his own thing, that time with a trainer to really focus on where you need improvement is helpful. There's a reward challenge at 24HourFitness where the winning team will win a luxury trip. Surprise- Black wins again! So off they go, but these people don't realize that rewards away from the gym always spell disaster on the Biggest Loser. So while Blue works out harder than ever to try and rise as the underdogs, Black indulges in mani/pedis, massages, and binge eating/drinking. After shrimp cocktails, prime rib, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, cigarettes and tequila shots, the Black team consumes almost 16,000 calories on their night out. The next day Jillian confronts her team about their behavior, scolding them. I totally agree with this- I mean, you're on the Biggest Loser trying to lose weight, why would you do this? And Black is so cocky that they'll win the weigh in, it's horrible. But Jillian's button pushing finally hits Filipe who flips out on Jillian. "I waited two and a half hours on the treadmill and you didn't even train me!" (thanks for the quote James!) Filipe has had enough and walks out on Jillian, as does his cousin Sione. Being trained by Jillian isn't working for them and has made them more focused on winning, rather than losing the weight and bettering themselves, so they train with Bob. Weigh in. The Black team fumbles, with Tara losing 0, Lazy Laura gaining 1lb and Filipe losing 1lb. In terms of points it down to 2-2, with the Blue team heading for an easy victory with the Black team slipup... until Mandi gains 2lbs. Blue loses AGAIN. Laura from Black won an extra vote last week, so will vote with Blue this week and could potentially force a tie, allowing Black to decide who goes home. Scary-without-a-shirt Ron avoids elimination again, pointing out it's Mandi's time to go and she can do it at home. Her sister Aubrey wants to take the bullet and go home, begging Laura to help them force a tie and send Aubrey home. In the end it looks like the plan will happen, until Mandi sacrifices herself and allows herself to go home. Another good episode, mainly for the flipouts and the falling off the diet bandwagon. It's like watching a less illegal Sober House. (source image from

March 6, 2009

Reality Rundown: When in Doubt, Waltz It Out

These posts are getting so long, I'm going to help you out. You can either read the whole thing or just skip to your favorite shows. In this Rundown...

I Love MoneyAmerican IdolFrom G's to Gents
America's Next Top ModelMake Me A Supermodel
SurvivorAmerica's Best Dance Crew

I Love Money - I forgot to post this in the Wednesday post! Craig Jackson officially becomes my 2nd favorite reality host after donning a t-shirt that says, "The Brown Jeff Probst." The new teams compete in a challenge this week which some kind of Gold Digger treasure hunt where they are tethered together (no one knows what "tethered" means, so Craig hilariously has to provide the definition that they'll be tied together). Green team, who I put my support to, lost pretty badly based on bad directions and team work. One issue I had is that there was one clue in all Spanish, but only one person speaks Spanish (Heat), so if it weren't for a lucky guess, the team with no Spanish speaker could've really lost. Gold team wins, with Prancer as the Paymaster and ultimately has to decide who goes home: her BFF Cali, Lingerie-clad Myammee, or worst-public-speaker-Milf. The snake that is Tailor Made starts creating an alliance that could overthrow the "Old Entertainer Alliance." Prancer's team urgers her to send home Cali, who I am not a fan of, but Prancer stands tall and votes off Milf, showing she's her own boss (not to mention Milf couldn't even come up with a good defense to stay). It was an OK episode, but nothing too exciting- meaning there was not enough Saapyhri, Entertainer and Buckwild for my liking. But it looks like the Old Entertainer Alliance could be crumbling fast, since Heat is nuts and untrusting of everyone. (images from

American Idol - 3 nights of Idol can be overload. By the time you read this, all 3 eps will have aired, but I'm blogging my opinions daily then giving you one big lump of Idol- enjoy! Tuesday the last group of12 finalists performed. They were better than the past 2 weeks, but most were so dull that I can't remember their names. I am routing for Nathaniel the headband kid (because his personality in ridiculous), guy who sang Plain White Tees, and Lil Rounds, who was awesome. The rest, just not memorable. But enough Alicia Keys already- 3 of the 6 girls sang her songs- yaaaaawn. Where's the fun stuff?

Wednesday is the result show. Lil Rounds moves on of course! Then the blind guy who has Garfunkel hair and the Spanish guy who again, I don't know his name make it through. What this season lacks for me are personalities. They can all sing well, but they are all quite dull. But now comes the 8 contestants competing for the remaining 3 wild card spots in Thursday's episode. Shocker, nutjob Tatiana gets picked and that's probably because the show is so boring and despite her annoyance, people remember her. Anoop and the hippie girl get picked which I am glad, as I both hoped they would move on. Some other people move on too but again, they made no impression on me whatsoever. (images from and

Wild Card night. I'm watching it in ultra fast forward because I'm bored and much like the past week, bad song choices. I realize when some girl Jasmine sings that her mom is the amazing bitter woman from last week, so I'll pull for her for the mom. The annoyance that is Tatiana sings again. Simon points out that Tatiana sang "Savin' All My Love for You" 3 times and I have one word to say.... SERVED!!!!! You got served Tatiana!!! And even Paula called her out for her sudden development of an accent. Anoop should move in because I support anyone who performs Bobby Brown (even if the vocals were just so-so). Now we just need some Bel Biv Devoe for the post-New Edition trifecta. The end arrives and the last 3 finalists are selected: Jasmine (and her amazing mother!!!), Megan (my hippie girl and she was picked over Tatiana the drama queen who decided to have a mild meltdown), and then the last pick after the break and during the break... MY DVR CUTS. Idol ran over it's alloted hour which of course they'd do that because it's to punish those who don't watch live. Thanks to Google I can provide you the results. Wow, I feel so Seacresty-commercial break-esque. Anyways, some dude Matt gets picked. But wait, there will now be 13 finalists and number 13 is... Anoop! Hooray. The real competition starts next week- maybe they'll get a crash course in song selection before then. (original source image from

From G's to Gents - Everyone is over Macho, who cries to the G's that he really needs to be here, doesn't want the money, and would give it up at the end. Yeah right. The 'Gs learn, chivalry. The chivalry instructor kind of reminds me of Kenneth from 30 Rock in terms of looks. My big-word-speaking-DMX-sounding Fahim isn't grasping this stuff and opts for a beer and is drunk for the challenge. For the challenge, there are 2 teams and each team captain is going on a date and his team has to give him guidance; whoever is most chivalrous wins. Watching the G's practice classy dating with polite speaking and waltzing is pretty humorous. After swooning and impressing, All In forgets his date's name but covers well. Teddy has his date second and it's not too great at first- he tries to waltz with her, she gets all sexy so he has to push her off and teach her to waltz. Team Captain Fahim, who is drunk, has his date last and it goes as well as expected. His first impression is to sniff and whispers her she smells like fish (he defends he could have yelled in Fahim-style). Fahim's earpiece isn't working, so he takes it out and goes for it on his own. Macho decides to enter the date since he doesn't trust Fahim and takes charge- and this ruins this team's chance for sure. See you on the carpet, Macho! Teddy's team win because it was a real team effort. At a night out at a club, ugly weasel Protege uses his night at the club to get ladies' numbers- but at home as a girlfriend and fiance. Skeeze! The other G's don't take kindly to this because they know Protege is a fake and weasel and I know I can't stand this goober. Black ball ceremony! Fahim seems like the front-runner to go home since he threatened Protege with violence. Fahim calls Mr. Bentley "Big Ben" and I just hope he doesn't go home because he's quality TV. But with the "3 strikes your out" policy, Macho is finally gone... and cries like a teen girl with a broken heart- or like Jason the Bachelor. He is a sobbing mess and can't breath and it's so awesome that Jimmy Kimmel Live even aired it. Goodbye Macho! Next week: charity! (image from

America's Next Top Model - Cycle 12 begins, and if you flip 12 you get 21 so they go to Vegas for the semi-finals. Make sense? Ok, moving on! Everyone stays at Caesar's Palace and gets to wear cute little togas and walk a runway of clouds (fog machine) and pose like goddesses which I maintain were not actualy Greek goddesses (Goddess of Friendship!) There are definitely some very pretty girls, like some girl Fo who calls herself "Blaxican" and Tyra makes her define it because we really couldn't figure that one out, and this one girl who works at Bergdorf's who I think has a different look and could be a real model (she should've tried out for Make Me A Supermodel- see below). This one girl has huuuuge eyes and an interesting look, but when I see her I do yell "Spook!" London, a street preacher who loves the Phoebe Price headbands, is a dead ringer Silver from the new 90210 (well, not as cute as Silver, but still, twins!) I quickly route for a girl named Alex who is a white girl from the hood whose audition tape basically is just her explaining that she'll "come at a bitch" or something like that- and yes, she's out immediately and my heart breaks. 13 girls are picked to go to New York and still be in the running for ANTM. The house they move into is the same house from Making the Band, and I have fond memories of Dylan, Chopper, and Nes screaming at each other. Immediately, there's the House Bitch (Sandra, but let's call her the more fun name) who refuses to give up her bed and thinks she's the best one there. And this episode alone the "I'm not here to make friends" phrase has been said at least 9 times. At the first challenge, the girls walk a runway show and House Bitch stops about 1/4 of the way down the runway, poses and turns around- she interviews that she was the best. Best mistake maybe. Another girl who has burns all over her stomach and legs cries and complains because she has to wear a lot of clothes. Listen, I give her props for following her dreams and trying to be a role model, but this is where ANTM bothers me. They are no looking for a top model, they are looking for stories. She's not thin or fat, so she doesn't fit into either modeling niches, and let's be honest, most designers would probably pass on a model with a lot of scars. I'm not trying to be rude to this girl, I'm just stating what we know is a reality in the modeling world. Another girl has epilepsy and worries the strobe lights will set her off (and deep down you know the producers want this to happen). Later the girls do a photo shoot where they have to be good girls playing popular kids games like hula hoop, tag, etc. because Tyra needs to make a statement about a social issue of girls growing up fast, because Tyra thinks she's Oprah. No one is outstanding, but a few clunkers are there. In the end it comes down to House Bitch or the girl with epilepsy. Epilepsy girl, who was rather cute and looked like Kherington from So You Think You Can Dance, goes home after not understanding how to work with the camera and House Bitch remains another week to cause house drama. I continue watching Top Model for some reason eventhough it's the same personalities every season, yet loathe it. I think I must be a reality sadist. (image from

Make Me A Supermodel - Tyson's in, Nikki Taylor's out, and new mentor Nicole Trunfio in. As soon as the show starts, it's already more credible than Top Model. New judges include photographer Perue, fashion designer Catherine Malandrino, supermodel Jenny Shimizu, and model scout Marlon. The winner is represented by New York Model Management and gets a spread in Cosmopolitan (way better than Seventeen, Tyra!) These are beautiful people with some real talent. It's hard to pick favorites because as Zoolander would say, they're all (well most) really ridiculously good looking. I'll pick Sandhurst from Tobago who is a classically trained ballet dancer. First challenge is to pair up and pose in intimate poses in a clear box hanging in the sky. Salome, a Menonite who was raised close to Amish and keeps telling us that, performs the best on the shoot and wins the challenge and get to go on a Go See with a designer. A Go See is like a casting call and really important, which already shows this is the better model show, because they are trying to get everyone some work, not just the winner. The show then gets real and points out that these models' bodies will need improvement, be is losing or gaining weight, and get weighed and measured. Unlike America's Next Top Model which seems to sugarcoat this industry as accepting, this show really points out what a fashion model is. In the weekly tradition of the show, a catwalk challenge is done and then the bottom performers in both the photo shoot and catwalk are up for elimination, but this season they judge's decide rather than the viewers. Ken, some big guy with "classic good looks" but actually I thought he was kinda ugly, is sent home and can't be made into a supermodel. Already this show is 18 times better than Top Model. (image from

Survivor - Coach's annoying attitude continues and while he thinks he should be a leader, he'll take the backseat until the other leader gets voted out. Taj tells Stephen about her cross-tribe alliance and he's down with it. The plan this time around would be for Stephen and Sierra to go to Exile... but no one told Sierra the plan. Luckily, when sent to Exile, Sierra takes Taj and learns the plan and this could be a huge power play in the game- especially since Taj now knows where the Immunity Idol is. At Timbira, my favorite player Tyson uses his buff to make a loin cloth which is hilarious. At Jalapao, they get focused on more this week, so clearly they'll be heading to tribal. Old lady Sandy is annoyed and young model Sydney is flirty. So when it comes to Tribal Council, Sandy seems pretty confident she's staying but ala, Blindside! Sandy is gone! So 3 blindsides already this season- pretty awesome. Next week: the secret crosstribe alliance might not be so secret. (image from

America's Best Dance Crew - Finale! This episode was sort of drawn out and boring. The crews performed together for about 45 minutes and then the winner was announced. Quest Crew wins! And they cry! Men crying are having the best week ever. But I'm glad Quest Crew won because they really brought it last week and I'm sure Beat Freaks will get a lot of exposure from this too. Here's to the end of what was probably the best season of ABDC yet! (image from