March 20, 2009

Reality Rundown: My Very First Codpiece

Sad news Rundown fans: no Survivor this week. I know, I'm extremely depressed as well. This week's Rundown will be somewhat shorter since there's no Survivor and I decided The Chopping Block wasn't worth my time. Enough blabbing, let's get this Rundown started!

In this Reality Rundown...

American IdolFrom G's to GentsAmerica's Next Top Model
Make Me a Supermodel

American Idol - It's country week and I'm cringing because I dislike country (except Reba!) and usually contestants royally maim the songs. But I was pleasantly surprised this week because they weren't too bad. However, not a single Reba song- total BS! Where's some "Fancy"?? My favorite now, 2 weeks in a row, is Matt Giraud. He did a great job last night and I could see myself listening to his music. Anoop stepped up his game and showed Simon he deserved to be there. Danny Gokey was OK, but he sang Carrie Underwood's "Jesus Take the Wheel" and that song is weird. But of course, there were stumbles. Lil Rounds wasn't great- her chorus was good, best the rest blah. And then the judges say she should've done "I Will Always Love You" which I think is the country week cop-out for R&B singers, so I'm at least glad she didn't go so cliche. Pink hair girl Alexis did "Jolene" and it was bad. The Oil Driller stunk- worst of the night by far and deserves to go home. Blind Guy was boring as usual. Paula told him he should not play the piano because he uses it as a crutch- yet she didn't bring that up with Matt Giraud, who also sits behind a piano and performs; and Simon disagreed with Paula thinking the piano works. Paula needs to word things better, because clearly she meant he needs to connect with the audience but isn't. Here's an idea for Blind Guy: pick songs we know and stop being so dull! He makes such odd picks. But my personal worst of the night was Matt Lambert's complete and utter destruction of Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire," a personal fave. Simon called it indulgent, and he was so right on. It was this weird goth meets Egyptian sitar meets The Doors rendition and it was absolutely horrible (Paula compared it to Led Zepplin's "Kashmir" and I wonder if she's heard the song, because "Kashmir" sounds nothing like the crap just performed). I really hated it, but I'm sure others loved it- diff'rent strokes. So based on Tuesday's performances, I think Oil Driller should go home, because he's a bad singer and oddly proportioned.

So results show, which I again FF'ed through 92% of it. They let 3 people off the hook quickly and then make the 16 year old and the Oil Driller (my pick to go home) stand up, and Ryan sends 16 year old to the stage, and I get pissed! How can Oil Driller be safe, he was horrible! Not so fast, he's brought down too- phew! And then they dramatically hold off Adam Lambert, who I hated, and Alexis, who had a down night, til the end and I know stupid Adam is safe. When they ask Randy which of those 2 will be in the bottom he says Allison... ummm, her name is Alexis and she looks pretty pissed about Randy not even knowing her name. So for the bottom 3, they send 16 year old back right away (she's Allison), and it's down to Alexis and Oil Drilling Michael Sarver, so clearly Michael is going home. The judges say that between those 2, they would use the save potentially on one of them. WRONG! Michael is safe; I'm livid. But the judges do tell Alexis that she is a contestant they'd considering using the save on (take THAT, Sarver!), so she performs again but it's not good enough and Alexis is gone. Now here's my thing: if a person is getting eliminated, it's because they chose a bad song and stunk the night before, so if they have to re-perform the same song that got them into the bottom to save them, then how will they be helped? They should have a backup song available to help show that they deserve it. Ugh, so Michael Sarver stays and is now part of the Idol tour. Good thing I wouldn't go to that crap or I'd be severely annoyed. (images from

From G's to Gents - The G's learn about business and career goals from reality TV and bar/restaurant empire runner, Mike "Boogie" Malin. As a Big Brother fan, it's good to see him. Fahim seems to be least interested in future goals, citing "gangsta" as past job, and no career aspirations except to be Fahim a "gentle-man." For the task this week, the G's run a photo shoot for rapper E-40, and I hope there is some Santana DVX on the set. Fahim is made team leader which is a no-brainer mistake. While dealing with the models Fahim croses the line and calls them something bleeped (I'm thinking ho's) and that's a big no-no. Mito steps up and takes the leadership role, but the rest of the team doesn't appreciate it. Teddy is the best in the challenge so gets immunity, but crappy boss Fahim gets to hang out with E-40 afterwards and pick one friend... and he picks Lank, because he's funny. Mito's pissed because he thinks Lank didn't do any work, but mostly because he wants to chill with 40. Back at the house, the G's tell Lank they think he did crappy this challenge, but Lank says Mito was being too bossy and that Mito is a fake thug. G-fight! Black Ball ceremony! Lank gets one vote and Mr. Bentley says "one vote is personal" so Lank goes off on Mito- but Mito didn't vote for Lank! It was Blue- hahaha! Mito's box is pretty full, mostly because they think he's already a gentlemen and has a steady life. And Fahim gets the last ball, courtesy of Mito, because he feels Fahim isn't a good representative of the Gentlemen's Club. Fahim's membership gets denied and he lets out one last loud "FAHIM!" Mr. Bentley reminds the G's of why they're here and who they should be voting for: you're supposed to progress and make strides. Next week: survival! (image from

America's Next Top Model - A girl named Nijah is the first person to talk in the episode, so going by the ANTM formula, she'll be going home. Miss J teaches the girls to walk and one girl, Natalie, has modeled before and is way cocky about being the best. The girl with the big eyes is awful and needs a lot of work. So it's no surprise that the next day is a runway challenge for designer Jill Stuart, which leads the girls to think someone will go home then, so they all practice. The show goes well and many take Miss J's lessons to heart- even big eyed girl isn't so bad. Model-it-all Natalie wins the challenge, but is disliked by the girl with the burns (Tahlia), since Natalie in Truth or Dare said Tahlia had the weakest picture last panel. BURN! Oh, bad word use- that seriously was unintentional, but I'm leaving it. The photo shoot this week is to ride on a double decker bus around famous spots in NYC and pose as pairs in character, like Wall Street Brokers, Time Square Tourists, and Nannies. The worst picture is the pair as Muses in SoHo or something like that- and that Nijah girl mentioned above is in it, so do the math. Model-it-all Natalie is the weakest in her trio of Tourists, with Tahlia even better than her (but she still isn't very good). And big eyed girl doesn't do well either. In panel, House Bitch is awarded best picture of the week, and she deserves it as she was finally good. The bottom 2 ends up being Nijah and big-eyed girl, and Nijah goes home- the formula lives on! (image from

Make Me A Supermodel - Everyone can't stand CJ and her bad attitude, so when everyone has to take group shots, no one wants CJ in their group. The group shots are sports themed and they'll be flying on harnesses. The first group is a total flop since none of them know sports. But other groups do particularly well, especially Amanda, Laury, and Kerryn who have to do rugby, and they think they have the best photo and one of them will win the go-see. Indeed they do win best photo and the best person in the photo is Amanda, who wins a go-see to Bloomingdale's. But Laury is pissed and when probed by the group if they think Amanda had the best picture Laury says (paraphrasing), "Well she was in the best picture, but I don't think she's best in it." ME-OW! What a bitch- someone is this show's new House Bitch. Laury thinks she deserved it, eventhough in her picture her face has a horrible growl look, as mentor Nicole points out. So Amanda goes on the go-see and brings Kerryn with her, and they talk a lot about Amanda being a single mom. Amanda rocks the go see and Bloomie's almost books her, but just thinks she's not ready yet. While at the go-sees, the other contestants put on wigs and costumes for a zany impromptu photo shoot and they realize CJ isn't so bad. Catwalk! They'll be wearing sporty outfits accompanied by this weird wire-ish things, I can't explain. And codpieces for the men! As one guy interviews, "This is my very first codpiece. Got to mark this down on the calendar." At the end of the catwalk they need to pose in an Olympic sport-inspired pose, and this can get pretty funny (girl who pretends to bowl). Jonathan is one of the best, with a good cricket pose but also not being intimidated by the codpiece, but Kerryn wins for her great improvement and pose (tennis maybe?). In the end, the bottom 2 are bad attitude Gabe (who blamed CJ for his bad picture) and Karen (who makes the scariest dead-in-headlights look at the end of the catwalk). They decide to give Gabe one last chance and Karen and those scary eyes are not supermodel material. (image from