March 4, 2009

Reality Rundown: Never Would I Buy a Cupcake for $1,000

The Bachelor wrapped its current season this week and therefore this post gets pretty long with my Jason rants. I was going to split the post, but it is part of the Rundown, so I left it towards the bottom for those uninterested in Jason's antics. Thankfully, the Amazing Race and my other shows continue to entertain and keep spirits high. But if you just want to read about certain shows, use these handy dandy links to skip to your faves.

The Amazing RaceThe Celebrity ApprenticeThe Biggest Loser
The Bachelor


The Amazing Race - The past few weeks had limited airport scenes, which is great because usually they are repetitive and dull, but this week the airport became a crucial element to the race. The brother/sister team were able to get on a flight an hour before everyone else, but the plane was having problems and had to turn around and go back to Munich. While half the teams were able to get on an afternoon flights, most teams (including bro/sis) had to wait until a flight at around 9pm. The married/older/sober couple make a move to get on a flight that has a layover in Amsterdam- but they miss their connection and can't get on another flight until the morning. This is why I could never do the Race- I'd have a panic attack when the flight is late or if I got delayed like this. The teams are off to Romania where they don leotards to do some gymnastics (I would've made my partner do this one). After, teams head to Transylvania and either have to drag and coffin and break frames or help a bunch of gypsies move a truck of things. I would've opted for the coffins because c'mon, Transylvania and Dracula- how can you not do it? Plus, the music played by the gypsy band would've driven me insane. Father/son Mike and Mel come in first (and win a trip to Costa Rica). The bro/sis team make a ridiculous mistake and hike up a mountain for nothing. I get so annoyed when one team member just refuses to listen to the other, which is what happened here. Luckily, the married couple was so far behind they are the team Philiminated. (image from CBS.com)

The Celebrity Apprentice - I wasn't planning on watching this, but my family wanted to (and I get a request), so I'll cover the Celebrity Apprentice until I get bored with it. My main gripe is that the celeb version is less about business and winning the fake job no and more about getting other celebrities to make huge donations. Immediately I want Andrew Dice Clay gone. He lives in this delusional world where he still thinks he's this record-breaking standup, but pretty sure others have come since then and stolen that title. The men's team KOTU (Kings of the Universe- lame!) definitely have more star power than the ladies (Team Athena), but the ladies have the business smarts this challenge: selling cupcakes (my mouth watered this whole episode.) In terms of who I'm routing for, I'm going with Joan Rivers, Melissa Rivers, and Tom Green. My "You're Fired!" list includes poker player Annie Duke (loudmouth, bossy), Khloe Kardashian (because she's not a celebrity), and Dennis Rodman (clearly doesn't want to be there, already won Celebrity Mole 2). Despite her low level of celebrity in my eyes, I liked the Deal or No Deal girl because she wasn't putting up with crap. As for the challenge, I can hardly fathom spending $5 on a cupcake, let alone a couple grand for it. I know it's for charity, but still! $5 is a bit much for about 3 or 4 bites of what we learned was horrible tasting cake. In the end, the men lose and the project manager, Heisman winner Herschel Walker, takes Dennis and Dice Clay to the boardroom. I drifted off because I was exhausted but awoke to find out Dice Clay is gone- hooray! (Image from Jezebel.com)

The Biggest Loser - I actually did quite a bit of Live Tweeting for the Biggest Loser last night, so I recommend you check out my Twitter, @melgotserved, for some quick one-liners from throughout the show. This episode Rocco Dispirito, a former chubby and famous chef, comes on to inform us that fast food is bad for you. WHAT?! After asking some pretty dumb rhetorical questions like "Who likes pizza?" and "Who here loves fried chicken?" (Rocco, look at them, you don't have to ask), he explains you can make your own fast food-esque meals at home. Each team has to make healthy variations of burgers, burritos, and pizza and a random member of the winning team will get a second vote come elimination- a good prize from the strategy side. Lazy, annoying Laura wins the extra vote. Bob speaks maybe two words this episode; I cry on the inside. Jillian and her team dominate airtime. The guys don't like her, and lazy Laura just doesn't try so Jillian does "the meanest thing she's ever done." This excited me on last week's preview until it all plays out. All she does is ask everyone to name the weakest player, and all but Laura's partner say Laura. Meanwhile, Laura's partner Tara is a hypocrite. Not two weeks ago when they were in singles, Tara constantly complained about Laura being lazy and having to carry her weight. They do a bagging groceries challenge, where the winners get a year's worth of groceries (which based on the product placement will be a lot of Cheerios and Bisquick) and letters from home. A conveyor belt is used to move groceries from large stack to bag, and I really wished they had glass items that would break if you missed them, like Saved by the Bell with Screechamia's sauce. Shocker again- black team wins. But young Dan, "America's sweetheart," the youngest contestant ever, gives his groceries to annoying Aubrey, who I guess used to rely on foodbanks to feed her kids. Nice gesture. Moving on, this week a twist is thrown in for elimination. If everyone loses 7lbs (1lb per day), therefore making a total of 77lbs, then everyone is safe. If they don't make 77lbs, 2 players go home (one from each team). There are a bunch of annoying contestants still on the ranch so I am routing for them to lose. When I noticed there was only 20 minutes left of the show and they were still weighing in I figured either they win or it's to be continued. Young Dan is the last person to weigh in, and it's up to 68lbs. Dan has to lose 10lbs to keep everyone safe and... beep beep beep beep... TO BE CONTINUED. Oh you're killing me Biggest Loser! But next week, Jillian's team turns on her! Exciting- can't wait to see what happens. (images from Viewpoints.com)

The Bachelor - Part 1 - Why recap the finale when all we want to know is about the super dramatic After the Final Rose special. Here's how the show ended: Jason picked Melissa and proposed to her with a ring I found pretty ugly- all is happy with Melissa, Jason, and his son Ty. 6 weeks later... Jason dumps Melissa on television (he explained on Kimmel that she knew before that, but they also had to do this for the special because they all agreed before the show started that their relationship had to play out on TV). The chemistry they had on the show fizzled and he still has feelings for Molly, the other finalist he dumped. Since this leaked on the web a week or so ago, I wasn't too shocked, but it was still uncomfortable to watch. I'm glad Melissa spoke up and called Jason out. To me, Jason always has excuses and cop-outs, so the fact that he didn't want to make more of an effort to make this relationship work seems stupid. I get that he can't stop thinking about Molly and needs to do the right thing, but maybe he should've considered this when he proposed in the end (which is what Jimmy Kimmel brought up when interviewing him Monday night). So Melissa leaves after calling Jason a bastard, and Molly comes out and tells the host she still has feelings for Jason, as well as a lot of questions. Jason comes out and poorly answers the questions and then tells Molly he dumped Melissa and wants to give her a shot. Molly looks legitimately shocked, but of course, accepts the offer. I think he needs to give a better explanation to her, and us viewers, of why he rejected her in the first place and then, if he even had any doubts, why propose to Melissa? And Melissa's parents originally refused to appear on the show, probably because they didn't agree with this whole process and knew ultimately what would/could happen- clearly, the parents knew right. Melissa deserves better than having this rejection play out on TV. I could see her being the new Bachelorette, but since her family isn't into the TV dating thing, I'm not sure that would happen. My main gripe about the whole situation, besides humiliating Melissa on television, is the whole kid thing. I just hope Ty is able to grasp what's going on and isn't too confused. It must be hard to a kid to be involved with one new potential mommy and another one a few weeks later. But now we have After the Final Rose Part 2 to watch and we can see what has transpired since. What we do know? Jason and Molly are dating, in love, but not engaged. Despite all the crap that went down, I see both sides of what happened, and I do hope they remain happy and finally make another success story for the dreary track record for this show. It's just a shame that two hearts had to be broken to get to this point.

Part 2 - Besides it rehashing what happened on the first ATFR, this was pretty boring. Some ex-contestants discussed what Jason did and only annoying Erica seemed to really have an issue with what he did. Jason and Molly both talk about their boring relationship, blah blah blah. Molly says she wouldn't change anything about how this happened. I just have to say, wouldn't you change the part where another girl got devastated for him to take you back? But most importantly, Jillian the Hot Dog Girl was named the new Bachelorette! My dad said she's ugly, and while Jillian isn't a 10, her personality more than makes up for it. And what I liked most is she pointed out this is a chance and not guaranteed, which is so true. Every year they come on saying they know they'll meet their future spouse; Jillian is saying hey, it's not guaranteed but I might find someone. Looking forward to her season.

For some really interesting insight on the Bachelor finale, check out Bachelor host Chris Harrison's blog at Entertainment Weekly which is very interesting and really explains what happened. And if you want some harsher talk that claims this was all a set up, check out Reality Steve who one the one that leaked what would happen in the finale a few weeks ago. And even better, Access Hollywood posted an email between Melissa and Jason from after the reunion which implicates this was a show setup- read the email here.

Listen, I don't fault Jason for following his heart and you need to be with who you love, I just suppose circumstances change when it's a reality show and your life is broadcast for the world to see and we viewers get moderately invested in the fairy tale ending.

But now that this season is over, I must air two grievances about Jason. 1. He always touches the girls faces when he kisses them. It's weird! Every time I cringe- I'd probably move his hand away- this isn't some epic movie-ending kiss. 2. Stop crying! I have never seen a man cry so much on TV. You know how women say "Oh when a man cries it shows how masculine he is" or whatever- well this is the opposite! Man up Jason!

Well goodbye Bachelor! Maybe I'll call you, maybe I won't. We'll play it by ear. (photos from ABC.com and BuddyTV.com)

3 comments:

Susan Cushman said...

I saw your comment on Blogger Help about people having trouble commenting on you blog. I'm having the same problem, so I thought I'd come here and give it a try. It might only work for people (like us) who are logged into a Blogger account. Lets see if this works. Will you return the favor and visit my blog and try to leave a comment? Thanks.

Susan Cushman said...

Just so you know, I had to try the word verification thing twice. The first time it didn't work. Comment on my blog now, please?

melmel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.