March 13, 2009

Reality Rundown: There's No Crying in Photoshoots!

In this Reality Rundown...
American IdolFrom G's to GentsThe Chopping Block
America's Next Top ModelMake Me A SupermodelSurvivor

American Idol - Those of you who know me will know that I'm a huge fan of Michael Jackson's music (not his creepy ways, just his fantastic music), so it was bittersweet to find out he was this week's theme on Idol. Good because I can hear Michael songs, bad because it's really bad karaoke versions of it. And speaking of Michael Jackson, please make sure you check out the the Michael Jackson auction listing where he's getting rid of everything- the toys and videogames he has are amazing- not to mention all the life size fake butlers and people. I thought the women were pretty bad all around, except that teen girl who always makes weird mouth movements. The guys were definitely good, especially Adam Lambert (who my dad pointed out looks like Garth Brooks' failed alter ego, Chris Gaines) and Matt Giraud (who I didn't care for previously but really enjoyed this week). I liked Kris Allen and his guitar, however I am pretty convinced after watching in slo-mo that he was fake playing. He was making the chords and strumming, but his fingers sure weren't touching- this could be a potential Serving from me. Jasmine and her amazing mother are back and while she wasn't as depressed looking, she was still fantastic. The bored audience member of the night went to a brunette girl sitting behind Cara the judge, who rolled her eyes, yawned, and was incredibly bored the whole time. The best part of the night was the final contestant's phone number, which was non-sequential because apparently 1-866-IDOLS-13 is a phone sex line. I found this only appropriate since the contestant also performed "Dirty Diana." (images from RedHotJezebel and Riosoriano07)

On the results show we learn of a new twist which allows the judges to veto America's decision one time the entire season if they feel the person deserves a second chance- like a Chris Daughtry incident. Going home tonight are Jasmine (and her mom! Nooooo!) and Jorge. Jorge, I told you when I yelled at the TV that you should've done "I Just Can't Stop Loving You (Spanish Version)" And are they saved by the veto? Of course not. In non-contestant Idol, Kanye "The [Self-Proclaimed] Voice of Our Generation" West performed and so did Kelly Clarkson, who has shunned the show since her original victory. Someone wants to sell albums!! (image from People.com)

From G's to Gents - This week the G's learn about charity, so they are split into teams and have to create a skit to teach kids about two lessons: don't do drugs and don't join gangs. Baron is team captain of the drug skit, and it involves some weird bunny which no one explains in the skit, so the kids don't understand. [You're my Boy!] Blue is the other team captain and his play about gangs is great, and in the Q&A with the kids Blue emotionally explains to the kids that he used to be in a gang and got out because he didn't want his family involved. Blue's team wins, so Blue is safe and gets to save one team member, so he picks Link (or is it Lank?) In another twist, the losing team captain needs to pick someone to not be safe, so he picks Mito who gets pissed. Then Baron calls home and his friend tells him "I have bad news for you, you're having twins"- so he begins to consider going home. While all this is going on, Protege is still a lazy weasel, so it's no surprise that of the 8 balls to give out he has 6. Protege goes home FINALLY and Baron stays another week, realizing he needs this experience to change him and be a better dad and provider. Next week: running a music video shoot for a hip hop legend. (image from MTV.com)

The Chopping Block - I actually saw a screening of The Chopping Block about 6 months ago in a market research testing place in Las Vegas- I got $15 for my opinions which then went right to the roulette table, and then into Planet Hollywood's big ole' bank account. So finally this show is on the air, and it's a bit different than when I first watched. This time it had a much faster pace, wasting no time jumping into the show and barely introducing the couples. In case you don't know the premise, couples are competing to win a restaurant. The host is Marco Pierre White, a world class chef who trained Mario Batali (Molto Mario!) and Gordon Ramsey. 8 pairs are split into 2 teams and will have their own restaurant across the street from each other; one person in each pair is a chef, the other a server. Each week they will be judged by an anonymous food critic dining in the restaurant, and one pair is sent home. I really enjoyed Marco who seemed to be a true chef with good criticism who doesn't sound scripted or rehearsed like a certain British chef he trained. The Black team doesn't fare well, with slow service, cold food, and undercooked chicken. The Red team does decent, except for running out of filet mignon, awful desserts, and some inexperienced servers. The Red team wins, so Black has to send someone home. And for the first episode, it gets vicious! Blame is thrown back and forth between the Brothers and the Mother/Daughter. In the end, it's two comical cousins who go home because they don't want this drama. Fun fact: when I took that market research survey, before the episode aired, they showed pictures and descriptions and asked for first impressions and who you liked best. I chose the cousins. Whoops! (image from NBC.com)

America's Next Top Model - Makeovers! Or in Top Model world, whose hair will they chop off and who goes to a frightening level of blonde? Makeovers can't be normal so of course there's a weird James Bond/spy theme with "Fierce Dossiers" or something like that and I'm really over the word "fierce"- retire it already! I think like 4 girls are made into blondes, and cute little Vo gets her hair cut shorter and now feels butch, or as she describes, "You know Plain Jane? Well I feel like Plain Jane's brother." One annoying girl panics about getting her long locks cut and is a real jerk, but she gets Served by the Jays because her hair is perfect as is. They tell her she needs to be a little more open to these changes in the future. There's some challenge involving hocking Cover Girl mascara (I will add, I use that mascara and it's very good), and then the photoshoot which has the girls in group shots controlling their own light. Some girls really impress, some girls think they are amazing but only mediocre (House Bitch!), and others tank. Nole Marin, who used to be a fabulous judge on the show, returns to guest judge and one girl's photo is so awful he can't stand to look at it- yet, she doesn't land in the bottom 2, which is BS and clearly it's just so Tyra can a point about embracing the makeovers. The bottom 2 are Vo, with her short butch hair that makes her more model-esque but cried at the photoshoot about her hair, and some Spanish girl whose pretty just isn't translating to film. The Spanish girl is eliminated and clearly still doesn't get why they eliminated her since she thinks she should stay because she's prettier than a bunch of the girls... sigh. I couldn't find any good crying pictures, so enjoy some Miss J! (image from CWtv.com)

Make Me A Supermodel - After ANTM I really was looking forward to the real modeling show. First up is a photoshoot where they have to be candy. The two that got Peppermint really rock it, while Sandhurst as gumballs look great. There are some other good ones, and one or two duds who just weren't into it. The winner is the girl who did Peppermint and she goes on a go-see to Miss Sixty, where she also learns the true world of modeling because they say they wouldn't book her because her hips are wide and make her look bad in jeans, plus she's not sexy enough- zing! But that's real modeling, not the sugar coated Tyra crap. Makeovers again! This time by Tabitha from Tabitha's Salon Takeover. I don't usually like Tabitha because she wears an earpiece and is fed lines to say, but this time it was genuine and her being natural. Everyone's makeovers look great, but one blonde CJ gets pissy about her makeover because her hair gets shortened to below the chin a bit and dyed brown. At the catwalk, CJ yawns, rolls her eyes, and looks bored, but she's safe. The androgenous guy goes home because he's just not supermodel worthy. (image from BuddyTV.com)

Survivor - The show's "Previously On" recap really focuses on the secret cross-tribe alliance, so I'm guessing one of those 4 will go home tonight, likely ringleaders Taj or Brendan. Taj and her tribemate Steven find the Immunity Idol and instead of burying it, she asks Steve to hold onto it. DUMB! Taj keeps talking about how she possesses the Idol but she's wrong, Steve has all the power now even if she found it. A reward challenge that involves tugging a rope and spinning other tribemates (I would've sat this one out) sends the winning team on a reward to the Charmin Cafe, filled with pastries, coffee, fresh water, soft Charmin toilet paper, and a working toilet, which is good because with no food, coffee will run through your system like whoa. Brendan from Timbira is sent to Exile and he brings Steven. They talk about the cross-tribe alliance and while Steve is into it, he's also smart and knows to keep this in his back pocket while maintaining other bonds. Timbira isn't stupid and knows that Brendan must be making good bonds with the other tribe and they need to watch out for him. At the immunity challenge, they have to launch balls with a slingshot and their tribemates have to catch them- first to 5 wins. Jalapao takes an early lead cause the hick guy, I forget his name, is amazing- so amazing that he chips his tooth in the challenge and then just tosses the tooth away (Jeff picks it up and returns it). But Timbira's tall skinny giant, Tyson, ends up winning the challenge, so Jalapao is back to Tribal Council. Taj is in a bad mood about losing the challenge ("hot" as she describes), which is funny considering she perfomed so poorly, and her attitude is annoying the tribe. Not to mention, Taj has been in Exile a lot so her team barely knows her- why keep her around? The guys are also leaning towards young Spencer (who we find out is gay, but he doesn't tell his tribe) because they believe he's the weakest and lost the challenge for them. But Taj's ego is killing me- I think she's thinking too far ahead in the game and focusing on the merge rather than surviving right now. Tribal Council comes and unlike Timbira, no one on this tribe seems to think much of Taj and Exile or having the Idol. Taj tells her tribe she doesn't have the Idol (true! Steve has it- you found it). But in the end little Spencer's torch is snuffed and Taj lives to fight another week. Next week: Tyson walks around naked and booty pops. (image from CBS.com)

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