March 26, 2009

Reality Rundown: There's No Crying in Modeling.

Let's start this Rundown with some fun reality news. I went to the Photoshop World Conference this week at Hynes Convention Center in Boston. While walking to the Convention Center I saw some kid who looked so familiar, thinking maybe I went to high school with him. Then I realized, it's Tom Jr. from last season's The Biggest Loser. He was still overweight, but definitely not as big as he originally was on the Biggest Loser. Then, inside the conference, I noticed this good looking guy who looked extremely familiar. It was Kaysar from Big Brother 6! But I wasn't sure it was him at first, so I tried to get a look at his name badge to no avail. So I got the courage and approached him and said, "Sorry to ask, I'm sure you get bothered a lot, but are you Kaysar from Big Brother?" He was really nice (much more attractive in person) and I told him I was a fan of the show, as was my dad (and when he heard the story, my dad was disappointed I didn't ask the Big Brother 20 questions). So 2 reality alum sightings in a day- that's a record for me.

And for some bad news. First, this week was a Survivor clip show so I skipped it because it would be boring and there's no need to recap that. Also, I missed from G's to Gents. I know, I feel horrible! So unless I can sneak in the episode somehow, it looks like we'll be missing this week's coverage, but I'll try to get the deets for the next Rundown.

So, In this Reality Rundown...
American IdolAmerica's Next Top ModelMake Me A Supermodel
Paula Abdul Mustache Photo Contest!!!

American Idol - Theme: Motown. Crossing my fingers for some Frankie Lymon! I'm actually watching the show while I type this, so I think I can give opinions of each as I watch. So first, the contestants travel to Detroit and get to meet Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson, so now when the contestants fail miserably they'll have to feel guilty for shaming these two. Matt Giraud sings "Let's Get It On" and he's so talented and probably my favorite, even if he's a little fug. Kris Allen makes "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)" his own, while maintaining his status as a dreamboat for the ladies. Scott the Blind Guy does "You Can't Hurry Love," a song I love, and he is still really dull for me, doesn't seem to be with the music, and wears creepy pastel pink skinny jeans. But ladies, he's single! Megan Joy sings "For Once in My Life" and I think I'm over her and her unique voice now, mainly cause there are others better than her. Randy calls it a trainwreck, and even Paula doesn't like it, so that's when you know you are screwed. Anoop performs "Oh, Baby Baby" and I think he does very well; my dad is calling this best of the night, but I'm not as over the moon as him. Ugh, Michael Sarver time; he's doing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" and I think he ain't to proud to beg for votes since he sucks- sorry! His performance to me is yelling and corny lounge singer and as my dad sasses "He's taking dancing lessons from Ellen." Even Paula hates it- you're screwed again Sarver! Simon even tells him that he's just partaking in the competition, he's not winning- amen! Lil Rounds chose "Heatwave" and I am STOKED. I love this song and know Lil has the chops to pull it off. It's pretty good, but not great. I think I was enjoying it more cause the song is my jam. Time for Adam Lambert to desecrate another legendary song- he's doing "Tracks of my Tears" by mentor Smokey Robinson. Adam slicked his hair back and suited up, though my dad thought it was KD Lang (and now my dad acknowledges he is on a roll tonight for my blog). Adam does well and doesn't completely ruin a classic song (see: "Ring of Fire" last week), but Simon says it's the best of the night and says Adam's a star. Danny Gokey will be taking on "Get Ready" and I associate this song with Problem Child 2 when Jr. ruins all his dad's dates, so swallow that movie trivia knowledge. Simon calls it clumsy and amateurish; the others enjoy him, but think it's more so personality they love. Allison picks "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" is that one moron who picks a song she doesn't even know. She doesn't forget the words and really knows it out of the park. Her voice is amazing for a 16 year old. However the greatest moment of the night is when Simon draws a moustache on Paula using a Sharpie and can't stop laughing and neither can we. So by the conclusion of Motown night there are 2 definite clunkers that I am fine with going home, but with all the song choices, the night should've been called Marvin Gaye night. (image of Paula and her 'stache from

Results show- lots of fast forwarding, so let's get to the bottom. My main man Matt Giraud is up first and first is usually safe- WRONG! Matt is in the bottom! OMGWTF?!?!?! Are you people insane. Luckily my mortal enemy Michael Sarver took he deserved space in the bottom as well. They dramatically hold off the other 2 losers, Megan Joy and blind Scott, until the end and it's Blind Scott in the bottom. So even the judges wonder why Matt's in the bottom, so Ryan says let's save one of these 3 right now- Blind Scott is safe! Again, OMGWTF?!?! Please, use the save judges! Stevie Wonder does a medley, putting all these Idol losers to shame. But Paula ruins it as she sings along and dances on the sidelines- she's like that drunk woman who always ends up in front of you at a concert, annoying you to no end. Time for the final decision: America has voted out Michael Sarver. PTL! He gets to perform one more time, but please, he is not getting saved. (original image from Riosoriano07)

America's Next Top Model - The girls have a slumber party with former Top Model contestant, and plus size model, Toccara. She's been sent over to teach the girls about personality, because personality and confidence is important in this industry. The girls get Tyra Mail and head out to meet with BENNY NINJA, posing extraordinaire. This excites me immensely. Benny Ninja is with some DJ, talking about modeling and music going together. They're using music to motivate posing, and I could care less about the models and just want to see Benny Ninja work his amazing magical body. The girls pair up and pose to the music, which ranges from elevator to rock to jazz, and of course there are winners and duds (and the duds are the ones who have been dudding it up since day one). The challenge has the girls modeling for an event for some elite people in NYC and the audience will get to boo and cheer for the poses- amazing, bring on the boos! Lots of boos, few cheers. My girl Celia gets tons of cheers which is great. Natalie, the arrogant one from last week, wins her heat. Her and Celia go head to head to determine a winner and clearly, Celia wins, since Natalie almost falls. The girl with the burns complains again after getting booed and still not being very good; she didn't realize the toll it would have on her self esteem, wants to go home, and I just don't feel like rambling on about this but again, this is modeling moron! Tyra Mail says something about migrating, and the girls think birds, and I hope it's not birds since I'm bird-phobic. Well, it's an Ellis Island immigrant themed shoot, with old-fashioned film, standing very still, and creating dynamic fashion poses- but don't worry, Benny Ninja is in the shot (and some derelict-looking kids). Let's face it, this is a snooze, so I'm just waiting for panel to bring some excitement. However, I think it's pretty obvious based on her suckage in the challenge, photoshoot, and her increase in screentime, that Courtney, the kinda-plus size Dale Earnhart-ex, is heading home. But the girls want Talia the burn girl to go home because she wants to go home when she fails, but when she does well, she's all for it; the girls think if Talia stays they should tell panel that she doesn't want to be here. Tyra uses this episode to promote heading to a foreign land to inspire young girls- gag. The bottom 2 end up being Courtney (as I predicted) and House Bitch (who had a really dull photo). House Bitch is safe, Courtney goes home- I predicted right! Whenever Top Model focus on someone more they go home. BUT WAIT! After elimination, Celia steps up and calls out Talia the burn girl, telling the judges how Talia days ago was saying she wanted to go home and this wasn't a good career move for her. So Tyra gets pissed- at Celia! She said Talia didn't tell her, so basically, STFU, the judges decided. Served :( Like it matters- they want Talia around for the whole "story" angle of the show. (image from

Make Me A Supermodel - Tyson is out of town this week, so Michael Bergin ("supermodel", but to me, star of Baywatch!) fills in as the guy's mentor. The photoshoot involves the models posing with someone special to them: themselves. They'll pose with a mirror and exude emotions. There will be 2 winners who will get a special go-see at Montreal Fashion Week to potentially walk in a show (and each winner gets to bring someone). There are some real standouts, but some real duds who are a bit dead behind the eyes (see: young Colin). Amanda and Branden win, and they bring Colin and Montauha, and they all end up booking the job and walk in Montreal Fashion Week. The catwalk challenge is to get dressed like freaks and then do a freaky walk down the runway and for the most part, the walks are horrible. Some hot dude named Jonathan wins immunity. Amanda, despite the photographer deeming her photo best, is blasted by the judges who thinks it's emotionless and dull. She then has a mild panic attack, to which a judge declares "There's no crying in modeling" (thanks again, Tom Hanks). They basically tell her check your emotions and STFU, so that's good times. The bottom 2 are Colin and this other guy who is the only gay man on the show (and his walk was absolutely atrocious and he had to wear this weird bedazzled and bejeweled bodysuit). Anyways, the only gay man goes home to no surprise. I couldn't find a photo of him, so enjoy this video of the catwalk instead.

NOW the PAULA ABDUL MUSTACHE CONTEST!!, which is something pretty awesome. Mel Got Served is holding's its first Photoshop/Paint party. In honor of Simon's Sharpie-ing of Paula Abdul, I'm posting a photo of Paula Abdul below and want YOU to submit your best Paula mustaches. I'll post your entries on the blog. Email entries to (image from