April 9, 2009

5 Least Favorite Movies

4/09/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
My 5 Least Favorite Movies Ever

I've watched a lot of movies, and a lot of crappy movies at that. For every There Will Be Blood or No Country for Old Men, there has been multiple viewings of Problem Child 2. But there are 5 movies I just can't stand at all. I hate everything about them and felt you, the blog-reading public, should be aware of these 5 movies and how much I hate them. Perhaps my hatred of these movies can save you an hour and a half of your life.

1. Save the Last Dance
The most cliche I think I've ever sat through. At the time, I was a big Julia Stiles fan and thought, "This looks so good!" So I watched, and it was torture to me. It was every cliche imaginable: rich white girl moves to the hood, white girl has dead mom, girl blames self for mom's death, white girl doesn't know hip hop, white girl learns hip hop, white girl and black guy fall in love, other black kids hate her, white girl learns to love dance again. Kill me. I don't care who is in this cast, but this predictable flick that every girl in the world loves is my movie Achilles heel.

2. Love Don't Cost a Thing
I was going to write about my hatred for this, but then remembered I hated this movie so much I wrote my one and only review on IMDB. So I decided to share that review with you:

"This movie is officially in my bottom 5 movies ever. This movie was so horrible. Steve Harvey is at his unfunniest- he's so bad in this movie that he deserves an Oscar for his performance in You Got Served. Nick Cannon just solidifies himself in my book as Star of the Worst movies I'll ever watch. And two semi-funny people, Kenan Thompson and Kal Penn, must've just really needed to pay their rent and decided to take roles in this. Supposedly this movie was a comedy, but I never laughed once. It was awful. And we're supposed to believe they fell in love when they "dated" for 2 weeks? He never even aknowledged her! So contrived and forced. Never watch this movie, even if you're bored and figure you might as well get some good use of your Comcast OnDemand. I wish I could take back the hour and a half that I spent watching this."

3. Pearl Harbor
Bomb is the best worst to describe both the historical event that occurred and what this movie is considered by the public. We can thank James Cameron and Titanic for this epic flop. Michael Bay, director of movies that blow stuff up, decided majority historical event + love story could strike oil twice. WRONG. Instead, it's 3 hours of inaccuracies, indulgence, and extreme boredom. And what's worse is that tons of big actors signed onto this movie thinking it would be the next Titanic. Shame on you Alec Baldwin, Cuba Gooding Jr., Ben Affleck, Kate Beckinsale, Jon Voight, etc. I will give props to the amazing special effects and the actual bombing of Pearl Harbor scenes, but the rest is just so painful, and the awful love triangle plays more like a poorly done soap than an "epic love story." And after this bomb, I think everyone realized you can't duplicate Titanic.

4. The Perfect Score
A hot young cast decide that they all need to get into the best college so figure they should break into Princeton and steal the SATs. It's like some moron decided to combine The Breakfast Club and a heist movie and failed miserably. You see, they all come from different backgrounds (Miss Perfect, Jock, Weirdo, etc.) but they all just need to succeed! But of course they realize the only way to succeed is to not cheat. Awww how wonderful. And half of them hookup in the process! Blah- awful, boring, predictable, and forgettable. Luckily, I didn't pay to see this in the theaters or really pay to rent it (I had an unlimited rentals at Blockbuster pass), but I still wasted a good hour and a half watching cute "teens" fail at taking down the system.

5. Mac and Me
Remember cute and cuddly ET? That's what Mac and Me was shooting for and missed that by a mile. Mac (which stands for Mysterious Alien Creature- not kidding) is hiding from NASA and befriends a boy in a wheelchair who helps him try to get home. The only thing missed is a glowing red finger and the scene where Mac drinks beer. I remember we owned this movie on VHS and the cover used to terrify me. I hated watching this movie so much, which is why it's one of my least favorites. Mac was soooo creepy looking (see pic) and it was just frightening for a child. And what ET did successfully, subtle product placement, was taken to the extreme. Mac's diet consists only of Coca Cola and Skittles (no, not Reese's Pieces like that other alien!) And according to Wikipedia, there's a 10 minute long dance number with Ronald McDonald. Considering the main character is in a wheelchair, I might have to rent this again to see it. While I know this movie is sooo awful, I should revisit this movie as adult for a good laugh, but I think looking at Mac's creepy alien-puppet self would deny me of a good night's sleep for a few days. And after reading all the hilarious internet stuff, I bet it would move off my least favorite list for instead "Favorite Completely Horrible Movies."

(Images from Movieposter.com and Cyberblog 2000)