April 7, 2009

5 Reasons I Hate the Celebrity Apprentice

4/07/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , 4 comments
As you'll see in this week's Reality Rundown, I am done with The Celebrity Apprentice. I have been watching this show because my parents enjoyed the first celebrity edition and wanted to watch again, and I also thought it would be good material for the Reality Rundown. After last night's episode, I've just had it with the show and it's removed from my viewing line up. I think I'd rather watch Bad Girls Club or Rock of Love Bus instead of this junk. At least those shows know it's fake and crap; The Celebrity Apprentice tries its hardest to pretend it's legit, but it is looking for ratings, not to reward based on business acumen. So I've decided to create my 5 Reasons I Hate the Celebrity Apprentice to express my distaste and finally close the door on watching this crappy show. (original image from NBC.com)

1. It's not about business
In the real Apprentice, a bunch of real individuals, with business degrees and merit, must use their business skills to effectively complete the task, generate revenue, and effectively brand the company. On the Celebrity version, it's not about who sells the most products, it's about who you know that can give a donation. In the wedding dress challenge this season, the men's team gave up immediately on selling dresses and instead focused most of their resources on calling famous friends to get large contributions. How is this business? Exactly, it's not. It's about the Celebrity Apprentice using C-list celebrities to contact their more famous friends.

2. The Boardroom is ridiculous
Boardrooms in the original Apprentice were extremely intense. It was a kill or be killed situation to win a coveted position at Trump Industries, and The Donald was ruthless. In this version, the Boardroom seems to just be The Donald constantly interjecting to talk to his celebrity friends. In the original, Donald would never joke with contestants or discuss their personal or past accomplishments; it's about the task at hand. Every week, The Donald ogles Brande Roderick and asks her about her Playboy days or about kissing guys. How unprofessional: Brande came on this show to prove her intelligence, not continuously discuss her beauty. And when contestants try to defend their opinions, The Donald interjects to ask stupid questions to other people- "Joan, how many years have you been in comedy?", "Clint, how many records have you sold?" He tells Brian McKnight or T-Boz how wonderful their singing voices are. What the hell does that have to do with these tasks? Nothing! The Boardroom lacks professionalism and is just another place for The Donald to show how he has famous friends.

3. It's about ratings, not finding the right candidate
For 5 weeks, Dennis Rodman ditched the tasks, got drunk on the job, and was a complete a-hole. With this behavior, shouldn't he have been gone the first week? My point for this one is easy: the show wants ratings and therefore keeps the big names and troublemakers around for drama. Dennis was a waste of time and space and had no interest in being part of this show, yet was kept around as much as possible to milk and his name and celebrity for the show. Clearly in the latest episode, Clint Black should have gone home. He essentially created softcore porn that was offensive to the client and anyone would would've watched the video. But Clint also pissed off big star Joan Rivers in the process, so of course they can't get rid of that conflict yet. Instead Khloe Kardashian is unjustly fired for 100% personal reasons, not to mention, hypocritical reasons. If The Donald is so against alcohol abuse, then why did Dennis last until week 6? The Celebrity Apprentice isn't about finding the most business-savvy Celebrity: it's about keeping around the OK people, while allowing the drama to continuously flow.

4. Extremely long episodes
For a stupid version of the show, I have to give up 2 hours of my life to watch this. And not only is it 2 hours, but it starts at 9PM which means I'm watching this crap until 11 and then immediately heading to bed. It takes up my whole night! This long, dull, overly indulgent format is partially because NBC would rather drag something on for another hour rather than create new programming. But really, the show could be an hour and a half: 45 minutes of task, 45 minutes of Boardroom. And in this edition, the extended Boardroom is a waste. If this were a real Apprentice, I'd love the extended boardrooms. I've always wished I could watch an extremely long Tribal Council to see how the bickering and answers come pouring out for hours. But in the Celebrity edition, the long boardroom is just 30 minutes of The Donald making odd comments and interrupting the contestants, not about defending business decisions. I'd rather watch 2 hours of America's Funniest Videos with laughing babies and crotch shots, rather than watch The Donald tickle his ego.

5. The tasks are pointless
This can be said for the original version too, but it bothers me endlessly. In the history of the show, any of the research, ad campaigns, etc. created for the projects have never been used by the company of the week. Did we really think any of the All Detergent viral videos would be on the All website? Would a company as big as Zappos use the lame superheroes the teams created to promote their brand? No way. This show is just a big product placement. I'm a business-gal so I understand: there's no better way to promote your business than to have a show highlight it. It's just stupid to see people focus their time and energy on creating these product launches or marketing plans for absolutely nothing. I mean, has anyone gone onto Zappos.com just because it appeared on Celebrity Apprentice? Are you planning your next trip to NYC and planning to stay at the Loews Regency Hotel because the Apprentice ran it for one night? NO. Hey businesses: get your product and brand on a show that isn't a complete farce and then maybe I'd consider buying from you.

The Celebrity Apprentice is a self-indulgent program in no way designed to be about business. It's about creating drama and selling products and I'm sick of wasting my time on this show. With 2 free hours, I can take up a hobby or watch a television program that is of quality and strives for excellence, and not just the trash The Donald and his production team are putting on the air. Celebrity Apprentice, you're fired.


Unknown said...

Hate to be the one to break it to you... but ALL reality show are pointless, rediculous and only about ratings

Mel Got Served said...

But at least those are fun to watch. This is torture and pretty BS in terms of elimination. I get that everything is about ratings and teasers, etc. but if a show is about business and finding the best business-minded celebrity, then it shouldn't be personal. Just my opinion!

Unknown said...

I've never watched this show, and I didn't read this blog post... but I probably agree with everything in it 100%. Good job, Mel.

Anonymous said...

I too miss the 'real' apprentice. It was much more exciting and it did focus more on business. The Celeb version is a total ripoff. And the winners?! Both sympathy votes. First the old, then the sick. Annie raised more money, but Joan wins. Holly raised more money, but Bret wins. I guess the Donald doesn't think that making money is all that important anymore...?
----Not watching anymore in Jersey