April 1, 2009

Reality Rundown: Last Call for Mr. Rodman

In this Reality Rundown...
The Amazing RaceThe Celebrity ApprenticeI Love Money
Tough LoveDancing with the StarsThe Biggest Loser

The Amazing Race - The teams are off to Thailand, which is pretty exciting as it's a place I'd love to visit, and judging by the tasks this leg, this would be my favorite leg to compete in as well. Once the teams arrive in Thailand they have to find a gorilla statue by asking locals for the location, which is at the Phuket Zoo. It's a well-known fact that I love me some zoos (despite my bird-phobia); when I go out of town, chances are I visit that city's zoo or aquarium. Anyways, when the teams find the gorilla they have to complete a task in order to retrieve the next clue which is: 1. take a photograph with a tiger (the tiger's handler only had one arm- waa waa!), and 2. take part in this elephant thing where the elephant taps your butt a little and then squats over you (sounds weird, but I had faith the elephant wouldn't wee-wee on the contestants). So this is one pretty boss task and I get extremely TV jealous; however, my envy is short lived because my favorite team, Mike and Mel, take a wrong turn and end up behind the pack and I can just tell they will go home this episode. So then the contestants have to retrieve another clue by randomly picking from 99 drawers until you find a clue, which really shows the testy side of the red-haired cheerleaders (well, one of them. She's not too kind to any strangers). Mike and Mel, despite being behind, really make a good time of it, which is why they're my favorite team; they are here to enjoy the trip, not just win the prize. Finally, the Detour makes the contestants choose between loading barrels with water and moving 50 empty barrels or pulling a rickshaw 2 miles. The Stuntmen surprisingly are in the lead, so decide to prank the other contestants who choose the rickshaw by hiding and messing up the air pumps for the wheels. They also don't read the clue and ask their taxi driver to lead them through Phuket, but the directions on the clue clearly saw you can not hire someone to lead you. But I will say, these guys really rock the physical stuff since they are stuntmen. They take a huge lead and are first to the pit stop, HOWEVER, they received 2 30-minute penalities, but messing up the equipment and for following the cab driver. So they have to sit there and wait. With about 4 minutes left before their penalty ends, the Siblings check in and are now team #1 and win a trip to Oahu. Definitely SERVED! Not only did they lose it for being stupid (again), but they had to watch someone else get the prize. Margie and Luke check in 4th, but Margie passes out due to dehydration and it's pretty scary and a bit sad, because you see the fear in her son's face. His mother is his only way of communicating, but also his best friend. But she's immediately tended to and hydrated. Mike and Mel and the Sisters picked the barrel challenge, and for a minute, it really looks like Mike and Mel could get their reprieve... but they don't. My favorite team leaves, but with an even stronger bond. Next week: karaoke in a van! (image from CBS.com)

The Celebrity Apprentice - The project this week is for each team to run 5 rooms at the Loews Regency Hotel, which would include maid service, concierge, room service, etc. T-Boz (aka Tion) is the ladies project manager, while Dennis Rodman runs the men's team. Early on, Dennis has some great ideas and is able to get some great perks, like Mercedes to drive the guests around and food from the Carnegie Deli. But another perk Dennis loves? Open bar, and he begins to down Vodka Cranberrys. Dennis' level of celebrity helps in some cases, but later in the night he leaves to go have dinner with guests and then just peaces out. The women do great- T-Boz is probably one of the best leaders yet, even creating task lists to keep everyone busy. Joan rocks as the concierge, but has a tendency to forget to tell guests how much things cost which gets her in hot water. But here's my gripe: people kept complaining about prices, etc., but I seriously doubt these guests had to pay for a single thing as I bet the show covered it, so they needed to quit whining. But some of the requests are kind of crazy, like a woman who asked for tickets on the stage to Equus (translation: she wants to see Harry Potter full-frontal, up close)- but the men's team is able to pull it off, which is impressive. Two "celebrities" check in, Stephen Baldwin and Vincent Pastore, and are just sort of supposed to be guests to keep them on their toes- it's dumb. I could go on forever (like how one guest has a beautiful Cavalier King Charles Spaniel just like my Schroeder), but the teams go to the boardroom which ends up being an intervention for Dennis Rodman and his passion for Vodka Cranberry. This goes on for about 20 minutes and The Donald aknowledges it would be weird if he has to fire one of the women, since Dennis abandoned his team. Luckily, the women win the tasks based on guest feedback and Dennis is quickly sent packing. Last call, Mr. Rodman! Next week: based on the promos, mixing up the teams which could lead to what NBC describes as "celebrity mutiny"... suuuuure. (image from NBC.com)

I Love Money - Teams are gone, individuals are in. For the challenge, the players each have 2 dummies and they need to run around find dummies of their competitors and throw them under the bus. Whoever comes in dead last automatically ends up in the lockbox- and that's Cali. It remains a moron, having poor vision and being unable to identify who he is trying to throw under the bus. But Tailor Made wins and is Paymaster again- ugh. Lots of strategizing and mainly TM tries to get Cali not to vote for anyone and to make it a stalemate. Well Cali can't be that dumb, right? Nope- she votes with her former Green team members, and It and Myammee end up in the box- both alliance members with Tailor Made. TM is pissed, so this is great, but clearly Cali is going home. On the power outing, they play tennis and again, It is a complete moron and can't do anything right. Cali tries to defend herself and it's so inarticulate, completely idiotic... I hope she's drunk, but I think she is just stupid.Anyways, at the elimination Myammee gets her check first. TM calls It and Cali down and he tells Cali he's not going to void her check. The crowd goes wild!! WAIT! TM says he's not going to void Cali's check, Prancer will void it! Prancer saved Cali once but won't do it again and TM wouldn't get rid of someone in his alliance for one of these fools. (awesome image from Blog.VH1.com)

Tough Love - No better way to start the show than with the ladies taking sexy photos to learn the difference between sexy and slutty. Yeah, it really makes no sense but again it allows male feedback for them to point out some of the girls are real hoes or in Stasha's case, they call her a transexual. But the ladies are getting a treat! They go to a lingerie store to buy sexy outfits for their next dates- a pajama party! Jody is not into this at all, and I totally agree. For many this is a first or second date and a lot of this girls are kinda slutty, so why have them in lingerie? The bitchy girl, Taylor, gets pissed again because Steve set her up with a guy who isn't rich, so when her date isn't around she calls him a has-been, never-will-be and then openly tells the dude that maybe if he had money she'd consider him. Then gets completely trashed- it's embarassing. Abiola's on a third date with her guy, but seeing his feet apparently might be a deal breaker for her- this girl is nuts. But Jody's date is a real success and even has kissing- wooooo. But in group therapy, Taylor is called to the hot seat for having the worst date and she flips out at Steve calling her a gold digger. She then reveals that the reason why she wants someone stable with money is because she had a kid but was so broke she had to give him up for adoption, which is really sad. But next week, it looks like some girl gets pissed and trashes the house Rock of Love style- looking forward to it! (image from Blog.VH1.com)

Dancing with the Stars - Apparently it's a double elimination week, and there are some stinkers that I could see gone. This week they dance either the Argentinian Tango or the Lindy Hop (watch So You Think You Can Dance much?) Lil' Kim gets the first 10 of the season for her sizzling tango, but quickly is beaten by rejected Bachelorette Melissa's lindy hope (2 10's), and then Gilles Marini and his tango (3 10's- perfect score!) I am still on team Shawn Johnson who did OK, but not great, mostly doing better on her gymnastic moves than the dance part. The worst stay the worst, being Steve Wozniak, Hef's ex Holly, and Steve-O. I'm thinking the Woz and Holly will be out. I watched the results show in 4 minutes, I'm not even kidding. I skipped it all. So it appears the dance-offs are out and there will be a bottom 3 tonight and 2 go home. My predictions for the bottom 3 were spot on, as were my elimination picks- Holly and the Woz are out. So many duds this season, such a long way to go. (image from ABC.com)

The Biggest Loser - Alison Sweeney had her baby! And named her Megan! Finally, a celebrity with a normal baby name. Anyways, Bob's team is pissed that gives-me-nightmares-of-him-shirtless Ron, since Ron considered sending home an alliance member (Filipe) last week instead of Mandi. But more importantly, Ali, the first female winner of The Biggest Loser, returns to fill in for Alison and explains that she was able to win the show by having a second chance to return to the game- and the same will happen tonight. The 3 teammates who did not get a second chance to return earlier in the game will each weight in and the highest percentage of weight loss returns and has immunity. It's Nicole from Red, some old lady, and a really fat kid who didn't want to be there in the first place. Nicole easily gets back in the game, but turns out she lost 82 lbs at home and now has the second highest percentage of weight loss of all the contestants, with first place being Tara. So now Tara is frantic and even more annoying. Meanwhile, Ron starts getting chest pains and ends up going to the hospital. It appears he has bleeding ulcers in his stomach where his original gastic bypass was; needless to say, they pump him up with a lot of saline so his weigh-in this week will probably be a dud. At the challenge, an extra 1 lb is on the line, so everyone wants it to help their weight loss. The have to stand on platforms being held up on ropes and every few minutes a rope is dropped. I forgot to mention that in lieu of Alison Sweeney, for this challenge last season's winner, Michelle, hosts the challenge. The final 2 are Kristin and Sione and I'm happy with either winning the 1 lb, but Sione gets it. Time for what they teased as the most dramatic weigh-in so I'm thinking, yeah right. So Nicole, since she's immune, weighs in first and she has immunity unless she gains weight. Nicole gets on the scale and.. SHE GAINS 5 LBS!! Holy crap! It's sad, but I think the stress and adjusting to a new routine hurt her; and deep down, you know Tara is stoked for this. The numbers are all sort of low this week, but Lazy Laura gains a pound too! Oh man! Young Mike weighs in and gets 11, so he just hopes his dad does OK- Ron gained like 4 lbs I think so he's under the yellow line along with Nicole. This vote is tough and Nicole tells them that if the contestants meant what they said to her, that her return motivated them more, then to keep her around to better themselves. At the voting, it's tense. Mike easily votes Nicole, since duh, it's his dad. But Filipe is still kind of PO'd about last week and thinks Nicole deserves a second shot, so he turns on his alliance with Ron and votes Ron- oh snap! Laura and Tara also vote for Nicole to leave. Sione explains he's sick of using the "send home whoever could do best at home" excuse because, as he so accurately points out, they all go home sooner or later; so Sione and Helen vote for Ron also. WOW! It all comes down to Kristen.. and in the end, she decides that Ron really needs to be on the ranch more than Nicole so she's gone. So short lived! Oh Nicole, we barely knew thee... twice! But in her "now" video, Nicole's dropped 102 lbs and is buying a new wedding gown, since her old one was a size 22- now she's a 12. Next week: temptation! (image from NBC.com)


Anonymous said...

Your photoshop skills are impeccable!

Mel Got Served said...

I can not take credit- VH1's blog did that wonderful image.