June 19, 2009

Reality Rundown: 5 Minutes in Heaven with Isaac Mizrahi

The Next Food Network Star - The chefs get their first task this week: cook a meal for Esquire magazine featuring ingredients commonly found in a man's kitchen (like peanut butter, cornflakes, and of course meat). Eddie with the really manscaped eyebrows aces the challenge with a steak and a brussel sprout hash. The next challenge is at Good Housekeeping magazine. FN star Giada Delaurentis explains the challenge: create a dish inspired by a holiday, which Manscape Eddie gets to divvy out for winning earlier. He takes Valentine's Day and is pretty easy with giving out the rest. The Mom gets Mother's Day and makes a delicious dish, but has trouble with her time management and plating. Caribbean Queen (Jameka) makes a New Year's Tradition of collard greens and cornbread (cornbread is the moment I got up and snacked on some PB crackers to help my craving). The Healthy Girl stinks as usual, a Dave Coulier lookale makes a disconnected dish, and Manscaped Eddie has a really condescending and disingenous presentation. At judging panel, Healthy Katie seems a sho-in to go, but Dave Coulier tries to throw The Mom under the bus for the plating issue. My instincts are right: Coulier dug himself an early grave and is out. Good, didn't like him anyways! (Original image from Food Network)

The Bachelorette - I write about this episode with metaphorical tears, as my favorite leaves tonight. Let's start with the good: breakdancing Michael gets a solo date ziplining with Jillian and gets a rose. Wine maker Jesse gets the other date where they play in snow, hot tub, and the date has what seems to be 30 minutes screen-time, so I fast forwarded- sorry! But I like him more now. Wes continues to con his way into Jillian's heart, and Tanner still won't name names about who has a g/f. Now the bad part: Ed receives an ultimatum from his job: come back to work or get fired. Jillian gives him the group date rose to show where her heart lies, but Ed eventually decides that he can't let his coworkers down and leaves. I thought Ed was final 4, and in recent weeks, final 2 material- so I'm bummed. Clearly, Jillian had high hopes in Ed and is devastated he didn't take the risk on love. But in Ed's defense, it's not like there are 2 or 3 guys left- she's got about 9 dudes in her dating pond and it's a long way to go til the end. At the Rose Ceremony, Mark (who?) goes home and Wes is left to torture us viewers. Coming this season: Wes flat out admits to the guys he's there for publicity, but judging by the preview he makes it all the way to the Fantasy Suites (usually for final 4 or 3), and Jillian and one mystery guy encounter problems in the boudoir, and Italy! But, it also looks like Jesse makes it to Italy- good sign. Go home Wes and stick that horrible country-twangin' guitar where the sun don't shine. (Original image from BuddyTV)

So You Think You Can Dance
- The return of Shane Sparks and Brian Freidman! These are 2 great choreographers that I've really missed- welcome back! Also: a new choreographer! A contemporary Canuck named Stacey Tookey. Onto the dance! My absolute favorite of the week was Brandon/Janette's disco, and if you know my opinions on disco as a genre on this show, you'll know this was huge. It was so fast, entertaining, and full of chemistry. Vitolio/Asuka has a beautiful waltz, Melissa/Ade had a great jazz piece, and Kayla/Max had a pop/jazz that earned a 2nd week in a row on the Hot Tamale Train. Onto the bad... basically everyone else; not impressed and picking my bottom 3 was hard cause there were a bunch of duds. Shane Sparks returned to choreograph 2 routines, and neither lived up to the hype. A jive routine fell flat and the judges again loved Karla/Jonathan "Archueletta" but I was not feeling it. My bottom 3 prediction: both hip hop routines (Caitlin/Jason, Kupono/Ashley) and Karla/Jonathan's contemporary. I think Philip Chbeeb and his partner (I forget her name- not good) could take Karla/Jonathan's spot, but I'm thinking his early popularity could save him this week. (Image from BuddyTV)

Results show! Mia Michaels choreographed a group routine I wasn't crazy about, some chick with the last name DeBarge lip syncs really poorly and is in no way like the real El DeBarge, and this Indian dancer rocks the show. Now the bottom 3: Caitlin/Jason, Kupono/Ashley, and Kayla/Max. WHAT?! Kayla/Max were fantastic last night- blasphery! This also means my EW.com prediction that Jonathan/Kayla would be eliminated is moot. After dancing for their lives, the judges are not unanimous in their decision. I predict Caitlin and Kupono out, but NO! It's Ashley and Maxim. Partner switch next week; now Kayla and Kupono dance together. Bummer for Maxim, but it's hard for ballroom guys to do solos. (Images from MSNBC)

Top Chef Masters - I recognize 2 chefs this week! Elizabeth Falkner is a Food Network Challenge regular for her pastry work- she's my pick to win. Molecular gastronomy poster-boy Wylie Dufresne, a frequent Top Chef judge, also is competing. There is also a young fat guy and a woman with no personality whatsoever. Quickfire! The chefs will create an amuse-bouche (which is like a one-bite meal kick-off) but only with items from a vending machine. How fun! Judging this challenge are 3 chefs from Top Chef Season 2, who had to do this exact same challenge. Boring lady Suzanne (Snooze-anne!) Tracht wins by making some classy onion rings made from Fritos and a salad. She never shows a bit of excitement at this win. Elimination Challenge, and man, do I love this one because it centers around my favorite show: LOST! Say Oceanic 815 crashed with 4 gourmet chefs on the plane- what would those chefs concoct on the island? They are given limited ingredients and access to Dharma pantry items and they will serve the critics, as well as the producers and writers of Lost. Wylie Dufresne wows them with his technique, Elizabeth doesn't have enough sauce, fat guy impresses with Dharma green beans, and boring lady makes this holiday feast that pleases the diners. Snooze-anne is victorious and is hands down the dullest I've ever seen a reality show winner. They should've played the Debbie Downer waaa-waaa after she won. (Image from BravoTV.com)

The Fashion Show - The designers work in pairs this week and of course the 2 biggest hotheads, Daniella and Reco, get paired up. After a Harper's Bazaar Mini Challenge to change Walk of Shame/Clubbing wear into work appropriate attire, the designers receive their runway challenge. They are working with a famous designer this week: it's Isaac Mizrahi! The pairs will get to look at his mood board of fabrics, designs, etc. and will need to create a look for his collection. The winners of the mini challenge, Johnny and Merlin, get 5 minutes ("in heaven, like the game" -Johnny) with Isaac to ask questions and see the collection so far, and this really pays off. Johnny/Merlin and Haven/lady-whose-name-I-forget are the best 2, and Johnny/Merlin are best in show. Daniella/Reco make some hideous high-waisted pants, per Daniella's insistence, and her failure makes Reco smile. But nothing is as horrible as James Paul/Lydia's fish-scale inspired dress and coat. Oh boy, it's so horrible to look at- there are no words for this hot mess. Lydia is eliminated to go sleep with the fishes, and Daniella lives to bitch another day. (Image from BuddyTV)