June 26, 2009

Reality Rundown: Throw Robbie from the Train


The Next Food Network Star - The chefs are given $60 to run amuck in a supermarket to prepare a dinner party for 12 people. Once their shopping is finished, the chefs are told the dinner party is being hosted by Ina freakin Garten, The Barefoot Contessa, who I hold in pretty high regard in terms of taste. But there's a catch! The chefs are working in pairs to create 3 courses: each will create 1 dish and collaborate on the 3rd. Melissa the Mom gets teamed with Manscaped Eddie and he's such a jerk to her, rolling his eyes when she's away, etc. He can't be bothered with other people, it's all about him. Margaret Cho is paired with Teddy, who everyone fears since he threw Melissa under the bus last week. They are a surprisingly good pair, with Margaret Cho Eddie's a douchebagtaking the appetizer, teaming on the meatloaf main dish, and Teddy is in charge of dessert. Except Teddy decides to focus on the meatloaf and the dessert is horrible. The Greek God and Flamboyant guy make a meal that looks so amazing it wins best of the week, even if Michael's personality was a bit off. The judges call out Manscaped Eddie for his kitchen behavior, with Bobby Flay telling him that "chivalry in the kitchen goes a long way." But here's the best part: the judges say his onion and watermelon salad wasn't good and takes a lot of finesse. He says he knows it's a good recipe because HE TOOK IT FROM PAULA DEEN'S COOKBOOK! I'd eliminate him on the spot for that. Teddy's dessert is deemed a complete and utter disaster, but he tries to save himself and claims the meatloaf was his dish, not the dessert. But the judges call him out, pointing out earlier he took claim for the dessert. Margaret Cho is livid that Teddy has pulled this shizz again. I get a good laugh that the bottom 2 are Teddy and Eddie- get it?! Manscaped Eddie goes home and I say, thank god, cause I never wanted a cooking show called "Dining with Doucebags." (Image from Food Network)

The Bachelorette - All aboard! Jillian and her men hop aboard a sweet train (no, not the Hogwarts Express or Terror Train- it's the Rocky Mountaineer!) for a trip across British Columbia and Alberta. 2 solo dates and 1 group date this week. Robbie is the 1st solo date and I mean, how couldn't 30 year old Jillian want to be with a 25 year old bartender who wouldn't answer the "do you want kids?" question. Well she doesn't, so the train Jillian and Reidstops and poor Robbie is kicked to the curb (and breakdancing Michael cries more than Jillian). His family's "always the bridesmaid, never the bride curse" continues. The group date is snowshoeing (yawn), which excites Tanner P who sees it as his chance to get near Jillian's feet. Also, Tanner comes clean about snitching a few weeks ago and the guys are OK, except Wes who gets all defensive. And then, Wes flat out says he's there for publicity and has gotten 6 weeks of exposure already. And then NO GUYS TELL THIS TO JILLIAN! Listen, I get Bro Code, but if you really like Jillian and have her best interest at heart, wouldn't you want to avoid her being made a fool of on national television? The 2nd solo date is with Reid, who is the blonde Chandler Bing to me, and he's a bit neurotic. He has a lot of qualms about the health hazards of fondue, but I'm liking this guy. While he is a total opposite of Jillian, I think it works. At the Rose Ceremony, Jillian is having second thoughts so pulls break-dancing Michael aside to discuss their age gap (he's only 25, but I love him- I hope he stays around). This talk is enough to save Michael, sending Tanner P and perfect Jake home. Next week: hometown dates where Jillian meets Wes'... band? AHHHH. Jillian, I truly hope this show is as scripted as Reality Steve says because if not, you are a moron and the most gullible person on reality TV. (Image from BuddyTV)

So You Think You Can Dance - I must confess: the past few weeks I've been a little angry with SYTYCD because Louis van Amstel had been the ballroom choreographer, and I thought my personal favorite French crazy, Jean Marc Generaux, was gone. Well he's back and as fantastic Evan and Randi's Contemporary Routine by Mia Michaelsas ever!! But enough about choregraphers, let's get to the dancing. After the first 2 numbers, I was really nervous about this week, thinking we'd get a lot of clunkers, but luckily Melissa and Ade's were 3rd and had one hot rumba. Other goodies: Brandon/Janette's hip-hop, newly paired Kayla/Kupono's Viennese waltz, and Randi/Evan's contemporary (by the one and only Mia Michaels). Now the stinkers. Every week the judges seem to like Caitlin/Jason, but I thought their paso doble was awful; with such intense music, the dancing should be equally intense. Karla/Jonathan did hip-hop and Jonathan stunk so badly, oh man it was painful to watch, which is a shame for Karla since she's part of hip-hop crew Boogie Bots. Bottom 3 prediction: Karla/Jonathan, Caitlin/Jason, and Asuka/Vitolio. (Image from BuddyTV)

Results show! Napoleon and Tabitha (hereby known as Nappytabs) choreograph the cool group number, but the show begins on a somber note. Nigel aknowledges the death of the 3 celebrities this week that impacted us, but none affected SYTYCD quite as much as Michael Jackson, who has inspired so many to dance. But let's think positive, and get to the good stuff: eliminations! My bottom 3 predictions are spot on! Pat on the back for mAsuka and Jonathan are eliminatede. But guessing the bottom 3 means nothing, as it's all about the solos. For the girls, it's unanimous; they eliminate Asuka who they don't see growing week to week. Her elimination does not sadden me. For the guys, Nigel says it was a 2-1 vote, which boggles my mind as I thought it was so obvious who to send home. Thankfully, Jonathan aka Archuletta is gone. Sorry, but even in his own style he wasn't very good and I still have no clue how he made Top 20. Other highlight: some dance crew of boys from like 6 to teens perform and toss the tiny kid across the stage. I watch this part in slo-mo 3 times. (Images from MSNBC)

Top Chef Masters - Quickfire! The 4 chefs draw knives that reveal a color; the task is to create a dish based on that color. This arrogant French dude Ludo goes crazy when his waiters fail to bring his red beet gazpacho out, but it only makes his plate look like a bloody crime scene. The Chef Michael BaylessQuickfire winner is Wilo Benet from Puerto Rico, who made an orange dish with salmon and some carrot stuff. For the elimination challenge the chefs will be making street food to serve at Universal Studios. Wow, cakewalk right? WRONG! Each contestant has a disgusting protein to base the meal on including tripe (stomach), heart, pig's ears, and tongue. French Ludo decides to make quesadillas with his pig's ears, except Mexican is not his specialty, so dumb move on his behalf. Not to mention, he's up against the top Mexican food chef in America, Rick Bayless, so even dumber. Bayless makes tacos with tongue, and it's a smash hit with the crowd and the judges With such outstanding scores on his tacos (2 judges gave him 5 stars), Bayless wins this episode and heads to the finals. (Image from BravoTV.com)

The Fashion Show - This week is all about paying homage to the fashion greats, so each designer is assigned a designer to be inspired by. Oh and by "assigned" I mean, the winner of the Harper's Bazaar Mini Challenge, gets to call the shots; that winner is Anna, whose name I finally learned. She takes Chanel for herself and gives the good designers to her friends, Have gets eliminatedand then goes strategic/beotchy on Merlin, James Paul, and Reco, giving them designers they don't know. Johnny got Versace and it looked so Versace, but part of me thinks it's too Versace and not enough Johnny, but he wins anyways. Reco doesn't know Halston, and goes with his style of a flowy corset which is all wrong and looks Renaissance Fair; he is in the bottom and crying desperately. It's so sad! Haven is also in the bottom 2. She was given Yves St. Laurent, who is an everyday inspiration to her, and she went with his looks of sleek suits on women, except her sleek suit sucked. It was poorly constructed and used horrible colors. The judges have a tough decision and ultimately send home Haven because hey, she actually knew her designer and tanked. Reco lives to sew another day- phew! (Image from BravoTV.com)

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