December 28, 2009

Serving of the Week

12/28/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served 1 comment

Name: Charlie Sheen
SERVED: How did you spend Christmas this year? My family and I opened gifts at midnight, slept in, and had a family dinner to celebrate. How did Charlie Sheen spend Christmas? In the slammer! SERVED! It seems that Charlie and his latest wife are separate and she's been living in Colorado, so Charlie apparently showed up in Colorado for the holidays. How did his wife take this surprise? They got into a fight, he pushed, her, she called 911. While the plot thickened the next day, all I can say is, if you spend Christmas in the slammer, you deserve a big ole' holiday SERVING. And really, is it any shock? The only surprise here is that it took until the final week of 2009 for me to SERVE Charlie Sheen. (via Dlisted)

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

December 27, 2009

Movie Scene Sunday: The Hangover

12/27/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served 1 comment
Being that this is the last Movie Scene Sunday of 2009, I figured I should go out with one of the biggest hits of the year, The Hangover. While my movie going experience of this movie at the theater wasn't spectacular (thank you teenagers for singing along with the soundtrack and yelling at the characters), the movie is still ridiculously funny. In terms of random cameos, you can't beat Mike Tyson rocking out to Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" and then punching a guy, so enjoy!

December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

12/25/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , , 1 comment
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays readers! Nothing screams yuletide cheer like obnoxious holiday Blingees. Grab some hot chocolate, unwrap a present, and then burn your eyes on some sweet Blingees. As Tiny Tim said in A Christmas Carol, "God Bling us, every one!"

Jersey Shore Christmas

best friends

Pete Campbell
By Jamie

Heat Miser

By Jamie

Muppet Christmas Blingee

December 23, 2009

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Pa Rum Pa Pum Pum

12/23/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
I'm not big on Christmas music, especially outside of the holiday season. Christmas prank calls are another story. I can listen to Richard Christy from Howard Stern's prank to a Christmas story non-stop year round. As you prepare for your holiday with gift wrapping and baking cookies for Santa, listen to this hilarious call and laugh really hard.

Reality Rundown: That Dumbass Girl Beat You

12/23/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 1 comment

Survivor - In the 2 hour finale event (plus a one hour reunion), the final 5 duke it out in another physical/puzzle immunity challenge. The Foa Foas know this is it: they have to take out Brett. So of course, Brett wins immunity again (and I get to type this a 3rd time). Natalie is low on the totem pole, but Russell needs her for the final 2, so he approaches Jaison to take out Mick and he approaches Mick to take out Jaison. Jaison is easy to beat in the jury, but Mick could help take out Brett. Jaison gets blindsided and is sent to the jury.

If you thought family visits bored me (which we didn't have this season), then you'll know that every season I fast forward through the Survivor rite of passage to pay honor to those torches that have been snuffed. I'm sure it was beautiful. In gaming, Russell approaches Brett to make a final 3 deal as some insurance, since Brett's immunity streak can't be stopped. To win immunity, the players have to hold a little man statue on top of a pole and keep adding extenders every 2 minutes until it gets super tall and your arms quiver. Mick and Natalie fall first, leaving it to Russell and Brett, and I start to go insane. No way can Brett win this- if he makes the jury, this will be the worst winner ever. Russell pulls through on a challenge at long last and wins immunity. Russell for once feels guilt because Brett is such a nice kid and he wonders if he really should bring the best to the end, but he doesn't: Brett is finally voted out.

So our final 3 heading to the jury are Russell, Natalie, and Mick and I think we all know this is Russell's victory, easily. Russell knows this too and is a real dick around camp, basically telling everyone they're playing for 2nd place. Russell explains to the jury his entire strategic take on the game since day 1 and it's impressive. The jury ain't impressed; sour grapes is the food of choice of the jury and they don't appreciate his "I'm the best and I'll f you all approach." Mick is deemed pointless in being there, but he at least is given the best question ever (by Brett of all people!): if they were to take a "bro-date," what would they do? The answer is so dull; no go-karts or ice cream? Lame! Natalie defends her strategy of aligning with Russell and letting him take the hits, citing that the outwardly strong women got the axe. Erik makes this weird impassioned plea for Natalie before the votes are cast. Jeff grabs the urn of votes and walks off...

Off to the reunion! Jeff reads the votes and it comes to 7-2 and Natalie is named the sole Survivor! Russell is pissed, to say the least; he even offers Natalie $10k just for the title of sole survivor (she declines). Jeff points out that Natalie was supposedly part of Russell's original "Dumbass girl alliance" and that the dumbass girl beat him; served! Russell does win the Player of the Year vote from the viewers, which helps him validate himself (but 2nd and 3rd place were Shambo and Brett- WTF America? You think these people are players of the year?) The reunion itself is the same old; lots of Russell talk, Russell could've won if the finals including Shambo and Jaison, Shambo's had her mullet since '84... but the most important moment happens in the last few minutes: the preview for epic Survivor 20 All Stars season, titled Heroes vs. Villains. We'll have to wait to see the cast for a few weeks, but hopefully it'll be a good one (even if most of the rumored cast might be getting their 3rd go-round on Survivor).

December 21, 2009

Serving of the Week

12/21/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

Name: Russell Hantz, Survivor: Samoa
SERVED: Since September when Survivor: Samoa premiered, Russell was high on the list to get SERVED. The man wanted to make a "dumbass girl alliance," lied about being a Hurricane Katrina survivor and his dog drowning, and abused his tribe's well-being. He should've been out week 3, tops. But then it changed; Russell went from most hated to probably one of the best players ever.

Russell's game, the lie, cheat, and steal, approach worked. He dominated the game and manipulated his way to the end. Watching the finale, I knew the million dollars and title of sole Survivor was his... until the jury voted. Russell's way of playing the game wasn't appreciated by the jury and he was SERVED; his partner Natalie, who he considered a coattail rider, won the whole thing. The man looked so devastated on the reunion and I think he was crying; all he wanted was the title of sole Survivor. Let's be honest, Russell was the best player but it's all subjective when you're on the jury. I didn't want to do it, Russell. We wanted you to win, but you got SERVED.

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

December 20, 2009

Movie Scene Sunday: Home Alone

12/20/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
You know, when you rewatch Home Alone, you can see why Kevin was happy to be abandoned for Christmas. Sure all families can be annoying, but he lived with a bunch of rude turds. First, he's forced to share a bed with a bed wetter, they keep filling the kid with Pepsi, and his parents get mad at him for being pissed? What jerks! He's the youngest of the family and no one considers maybe they should to save him a slice of pizza too? And His brother is a douche about the pizza and everyone knows if you fake puke, the whole room pukes. His sister calls him a disease and insult him in a foreign language. It's only when his family abandons him to potentially be murdered by some burglers that they decide to be nice to him. What a family of jerks.

Watch Kevin put that butthole brother Buzz in his place. I wish Buzz really puked just so he could be completely humiliated.

December 18, 2009

Reality Rundown: Chill Out, Freckles McGee

So You Think You Can DanceSurvivorJersey Shore

So You Think You Can Dance - It's the final performance episode, so the top 6 will all dance with each other. A key party for dancing. Husband and wife Ashleigh and Ryan finally get to dance together and while it wasn't mind-blowing, it was definitely an amazing night for them. Ellenore brought out some sex appeal but also showed why she deserved to be in the finals; she's such a good dancer. Jakob was perfection in everything, per usual. Kathryn is also a fantastic dancer; again, my gripe with her is that her personality is lacking. Not lacking in personality: Russell. Russell does a phenomenal job with contemporary, paso doble, and hip hop. I did a little voting and gave my love to Jakob and Russell, who I predict will be the final 2. But with 6 people in the finals, the actual winner could be a huge toss up, as you don't need a large percentage to win.

Finale time! Even though it seems like forever, it's been a short season and America's only had the chance to vote 6 times- kinda crazy. Anyways, it's full of stupid musical performances that I could care less about. I can't stand JLo, but at least all her backup dancers were SYTYCD girls from past and present. Oh, you just want to know who wins. Ryan is eliminated first (6th place), then Ashleigh, then Ellenore. It's all falling into my predictions. Kathryn is eliminated 4th and is the last girl standing. So it's a Jakob/Russell final 2 (go me!). Russell is injured, but not injured enough to keep his from running around the stage and ripping off his shirt when he's declared America's Favorite Dancer. I'm very happy for him and so happy Boston finally has a reality show contestant that isn't a piece of trash.

Survivor - In the most horrifying open footage ever, Brett (that guy) massages Shambo's mulleted head. Shambo later tells Russell she thinks she needs a hair cut and he gives the most priceless look to the camera and explains to us he think Shambo hides fruit and nuts in her hair. But the hair doesn't hurt Shmabo in the reward challenge, when she, Russell, and Jaison win the Survivor version of Kerplunk. The fellas and Shambo head off for a feast, a sweet dance party, and a night's sleep on mattresses. The pillow talk quickly turns to team captain Natalie's 1st pick at the challenge: Brett. Realizing this needs to be broken up, the plan is to take out Brett, or Mick has the back-up since he's strong.

So of course in the immunity challenge, Brett wins yet again guaranteeing himself a spot in the final 5. Jaison tells Russell that the time has come to cut Shambo loose and for once you can see a shred of humanity in Russell. His decision is tough: cut Shambo who he could easily beat in the finals, or keep Mick who can help get rid of Brett. The Foa Foa 4 remain strong and the little mullet that could is heading to the jury, and likely to torture them at Ponderosa.

Jersey Shore - Sammi "Sweetheart" comes home to fight with Ronnie over him doing his insane dancing with chicks and her giving her number to a cop. Despite their back and forth issues, it looks like they're a legit couple now that they "smushed" (it means sexual intercourse in Ronnie speak). The boys head to the barbershop to gossip like guys do, but Ronnie won't smush and tell. The Situation knows Ronnie is full of crap and Ronnie knows The Situation would "bang a bottle of Gatorade if it had a pulse at this point." Someone get The Situation some Gatorade Tiger!

Avoiding the odd fate of making love to energy drinks, Pauly D and The Situation keep trying to get their smush on, unsuccessfully. First, The Situation gets cockblocked by his hookup's friend, Freckles McGee (Y-E-S! Is it too late to re-name my blog?). Next time around, they grab 2 girls from Karma, ditch them quick for 2 girls in a Mercedes, and ditch the Mercedes girls for the Karma girls (cause they're easier). The Situation keeps the hotter girl for himself, leaving Pauly D with "the grenade." We need a lexicon for this show; call Merriam Webster! Pauly D decides to take one for the team if it means The Situation can get smushed, but after a certain level of annoyance and bustedness, Pauly peaces out leaving The Situation with his conquest and The Grenade. The Grenade explodes her bitterness, leaving The Situation unsmushed.

In bad weave news, JWoww "ain't payin' no mind" to the drama in the house since her relationship is a hot enough mess. Her boyfriend is pissed because in the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon Jersey Shore, Snooki's night-before hookup, Russ aka Ron, is friends with JWoww's boyfriend, and he reported back that JWoww was dirty dancing with "the douchebag with the blowout" (Pauly). JWoww's mad cause she dirty dances with everyone, it doesn't mean she's smushing him. And c'mon, it's just house music.

Snooki earns some roommate love by clubbing and going wild, including hoo-ha-exposing back handsprings. A few nights later, the gang heads to a bar where a bunch of frat guys keep trying to take drinks and probably get on camera. JWoww orders a round of shots, but the frat douches steal them. The Situation plays mediator and orders 3 more shots, but a guy tries to take them again, so Snooki yells "Those aren't for you!" The guy starts yelling at Snooki and she's yelling that he should pay for them. And then... the screen goes black. Yes, Snooki got punched and MTV decided to not show it despite using it as a promo for weeks. Suddenly MTV grew a conscious. She is knocked to the floor and the cops snatch him up. Asshole, YOU'RE GETTING SERVED.

December 17, 2009

Mel's Favorite Shows of 2009

12/17/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , 3 comments
With the decade coming to an end, there's an excessive amount of lists out there. Well I can't rank the whole 00's thus far, but I can tell you that 2009 was a great year in TV. And since a lot of people ask me what shows I do what or what shoulds they should be watching, let me give you my 10 favorite, can't miss TV shows that keep me coming back for more. (Warning: some spoilers ahead)

10. One Life to Live - Best soap on TV hands down. After my soap of choice, All My Children was destroyed by a horrible headwriter, my favorite podcast, The Pine Valley Podcast, told me to tune into One Life to Live; I haven't regretted it since. This show is chock-full of talent, amazing stories, dialogue, and heart and humor. And let's face it, the male eye-candy is delightful. Now that OLTL is on Hulu, I hope everyone will make an effort to watch so the networks can see that the outdated Nielsen ratings aren't accurately portraying the love for OLTL.

9. Eastbound & Down - If you've ever asked yourself, "What would John Rocker do?" then this show is for you. Kenny Powers is a former baseball badass kicked out of the league so he moves back home with his brother and becomes a high school gym teacher. It's raunchy, cringe-inducing, but has moments of pathos (triple word score!) Subscribe to HBO just for this show.

8. Friday Night Lights - When you watch Friday Night Lights, it doesn't feel scripted; it looks like a documentary. It's also the same way you feel when you watch it because this show feels so real and you bond with the characters. I'll avoid just ogling Tim Riggins to say the storylines are so powerful and the season ended with an amazing cliffhanger that will completely reboot the series from the ground up. I don't have DirectTV so I'll have to wait until NBC airs it, but I'll be counting the days until I can see the town of Dillon and their football glory.

7. Party Down - Due to an obsessive love of Veronica Mars, I'll watch any Rob Thomas produced shows (not that one). Party Down is a catering company full of wannabes making ends-meat. An outstanding cast of comedians make this show must watch for all the hilararity this team of misfits creates. And lots of amazing one liners ("Are we having fun yet?"

6. Glee - A premise that sounded like it could be an ultimate bomb, it turned out to be the biggest hit of the fall. These kids can sing, Mr. Schuester attempts to rap, and Jane Lynch steals every scene she's in. Throw in the dark humor creator Ryan Murphy (Nip/Tuck, Popular) is known for, and add in lots of tearjerker moments (deaf kid choir performing "Imagine"), and you've got one of the best hours each week.

5. Survivor - Survivor is currently on season 19, and it's still consistently entertaining. What makes Survivor last is that while the premise is always the same, their casting is great. Each season it's intriguing to see how the game plays out; who lies, who cheats, who jumps alliance first? Host Jeff Probst keeps winning the Emmy for best reality host because he is the best, getting the castaways to reveal their emotions and cause drama. If you're going to watch only one reality show, it has to be Survivor.

4. Nurse Jackie - I had no plans to watch this show but had a Showtime free preview over the summer so said what the hay. I then watched all the episodes in a matter of days. Edie Falco proves that she's not just Carmela Soprano by playing a pill-addicted, cheating nurse who has a heart for her patients. It's the addition of the supporting cast that brings this show to a whole new level. I don't have Showtime right now, but I will be resubscribing in March when this show returns.

3. Mad Men - If you can still look at a John Deere tractor normally, you aren't watching Mad Men. This season brought the characters to new places in their lives. Don Draper's true identity finally came to surface, causing his family to crumble. Sterling Cooper was acquired by Brits, then sold again. But from the ashes, the main players came together again to lead into the best cliffhanger yet (and ultimate line of the year): "Good morning; Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, how may I help you?"

2. Modern Family - 3 letters for this show: L O L. By far, the best new show of the year. Filmed documentary style, Modern Family follows 3 different familes that are all related. Phil is the self-described "cool dad" who knows High School Musical dances, while his brother-in-law Cameron is an outlandish gay guy with a passion to be a clown. This ensemble comedy hasn't faltered yet and I don't expect it to. If you miss Arrested Development's Bluths, latch onto the Pritchett clan now.

1. Lost - With the show winding down, season 5 began to really get the ball rolling. The illusive Jacob was revealed, John Locke (kinda) rose from the dead, Sayid shot a 12 year old, and many of our favorites have been living in the late 70's for 3 years. Make sense? You have to watch to get it. Sure it can get confusing, but that's what makes me buy the DVDs to rewatch, searching for clues to figure out the mystery. The final season starts in a month and by June, my beloved Lost will end. But I know it will go down in history as one of the best shows I've ever watched.

Honorable Mentions:
The Big Bang Theory (there's a reason it's the #1 comedy on TV)
Top Chef
Jersey Shore (such a watercooler show)
Dollhouse (it gets canceled just when it gets amazing)
Melrose Place (I think I'm the only one watching, but I love it)
90210 (a much improved 2nd season)
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (how did I forget?)

Harper's Island (how could I forget this canceled gem? A 13 episode murder mystery with twists, turns, and like 4 survivors in the end. Please watch on DVD)

December 15, 2009

The Skymall Game: Tacky Christmas Decorations

12/15/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
It seems like just yesterday that I ranted about tacky lawn decorations and how they burn my eyes (oh wait, it was yesterday!). So how about we peruse Skymall to see what magical holiday wonders are available. From your lawn to your fridge, Skymall has something for you.

For the person who loves snowmen, but hates outdoor activities

Snowman Refridgerator Magnets

Terrify any person who tries to get to your front door

Stuffable Christmas Characters

We all remember the part of the Nativity story where Santa stopped
by the manger, ate milk and cookies, and left him a Sega Genesis

Kneeling Santa Yard Display

Ok, I know I hate horrible lawn decorations, but all will be forgiven if
these 2 grace your front lawn

Freeze & Heat Miser Yard Art

December 14, 2009

Serving of the Week

12/14/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments

Name: Obnoxiously decorated holiday houses
SERVED: Tis the season for the least artistic people in the world to decorate their homes in Christmas lights that burn the eyes. The lights are in every color imaginable and have to be flickering in annoying patterns that cause seizures like a Pokemon game. But then someone says, "Hey, the lights are gaudy enough- add more decorations!" It's then that said house paints 6ft tall toy soldiers on plywood and head to their local K-Mart to buy every inflatable Santa, snowglobe, and lit-up seal and dolphins. It's not festive, it's tacky. You want to stop global warming? Stop spending thousands of dollars on electricity in the month of December. Your eyesore of a house is annoying me and that is why I SERVE you, obnoxiously decorated holiday homes.

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

December 13, 2009

Movie Scene Sunday: The Year Without A Santa Claus

12/13/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
I think if you ask most people what Christmas character I'm most like, they'd probably say Scrooge. Listen, I enjoy Christmas but I don't get into the spirit until maybe 2 weeks before the holiday. Obnoxious mismatching lights adorn houses, radio stations switch to only Christmas music (only acceptable song: "Last Christmas" cause it's so lame), and every channel on TV is playing Christmas movies nonstop. So it should be no shocked that Christmas movies aren't my favorite, but there are a couple I like (and no, A Christmas Story is no longer on the list. PLAYED OUT).

My absolute favorite Christmas special is The Year Without A Santa Claus. Do I watch the whole thing? Not really. Do I fast forward to the greatest holiday song ever? YES. This is probably the only holiday song I can tolerate year-round. Please enjoy the Miser Brothers and ask to yourself, "Are you a Heat Miser or Snow Miser?" Me? Definitely Heat Miser.

December 11, 2009

Reality Rundown: Please Pack Your Trash Bag and Go

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest LoserSo You Think You Can Dance
Top ChefSurvivorNew! Jersey Shore

The Amazing Race - The teams fly from Prague to Las Vegas for their final leg of the race and retrieve a clue from a wedding chapel Elvis. The Road Block makes one teammate rappel face-first down the Mandalay Bay hotel, and I'm sure the golden windows against the sun burnt their eyes. Brian/Ericka take an early lead, but falter in the task to retrieve a bouquet of flowers via bungee cord at Cirque du Soleil's Beatles-inspired Love. Ericka throws a really annoying tantrum, making it hard to route for her. Of course Meghan and Cheyne are great at it and take the lead. What they aren't great at: basic trivia. Told to go to the hotel that is the favorite of Monaco (Monte Carlo), they head to the wrong hotel.

The Brothers are first to arrive at the Monte Carlo and begin the next task: count a million dollars in chips. Mr. and Mrs. Perfect succeed again and head to the MGM Grand to meet Mr. Las Vegas, Wayne Newton, in a suite to retrieve the final clue: the finish line is at Wayne Newton's gaudy house. While the brothers are close behind, Meghan and Cheyne predictably win the race. While Meghan and Cheyne deserve the win and dominated the majority of the race, they're just boring as hell. Another season ends, another dull winner. Edge of seat finale, boring ending.

The Biggest Loser - Finale! Right off the bat we find out America voted Amanda into the finale over Liz; if anyone was shocked by this, you crazy. Before we get to the big prize though, all the eliminated contestants weigh-in for the Biggest Loser At Home prize ($100k). Antoine, eliminated week 2, looks smokin' hot and proposes to Alexandra, eliminated week 1. Julio was unrecognizable in a good way, except his bad facial hair. Crazy Eyes Tracy is thin- too thin in fact. In my opinion, she didn't look good- add 10 more pounds and some weight to the face. She is the front runner for the at-home prize until pink-team Rebecca loses 49% of her body fat, making her TBL at home. To encourage big crying Shea to lose more weight, Subway offers to get her $1k for each pound she loses until the May finale of next season's TBL.

The final 3 come out with way too many video packages to draw out the time. Amanda is out first with 32% lost, but she's a winner in life (corny, I know). It's down to Rudy and Danny, who both look so good. As I predicted, Danny wins by dropped 55% of his original weight and is the winner of The Biggest Loser 8.

So You Think You Can Dance - One week left! The 8 prepare to go to the final 6 and next week's finale. Ashleigh is injured and can't dance tonight- nooo! Her partner Russell is left to dance with choreographer's assistants, but his hip-hop and Bollywood are so awesome. Ryan/Kathryn are amazing in both their cha cha and disco, but I still think they could be in trouble. They seem to lack the star presence the others have. Mollee/Jakob are the standouts of the night, with a beautiful Viennese waltz and a fun Broadway. In my opinion, Jakob is the best dancer this show has ever had- I said it! Ellenore/Legacy are the recipients of yet another amazing Travis Wall piece, which Nigel declares an Emmy contender. Their hip-hop is only OK though, leaving them vulnerable in the vote. After an impassioned plea from the judges, I finally exercised my right to vote and called in for Jakob, Russell, and Ashleigh. Who will make the finale?

Kat tells Jakob and Russell they are in the finals, making the bottom 2 Legacy and Ryan (no surprise). The surprise, however, is that Legacy is eliminated, which is kinda surprising to me. I used to really like Ryan, but he's lower on the totem pole for me. As for the girls, Ashley and Kathyrn make the final 2; whaaaat?! I thought they were the bottom 2. Ellenore and Mollee are left in the bottom and it's little Mollee that is left crying and out of the finals.

Top Chef - OMG I finally get Bravo in HD now- the food looks so real I might lick the screen (and shave Kevin's beard). For the chefs final meal, they will cook 3 courses: 1st course must be made from ingredients in a mystery basket, 2nd course whatever you want, and 3rd course must be a dessert. Each chef also gets 2 sous chefs of past cheftestants, which they draw knives for. Kevin seems most screwed because: 1. he's not a dessert person and 2. he pulled Preeti's knife, and she sucks. Kevin and Michael/Bryan's moms come to visit, which allows some bonding and yet another twist. Tom tells them now it will be a 4 course meal; 1st course should now be a dish inspired by their mother and favorite childhood food. More scrambling.

Bryan's first few courses aren't very flavorful, but his 3rd course (venison) wows the judges. His dessert is deemed pastry-chef quality. Kevin starts out strong with his "mom meal" and mysery basket, but it's downhill from there (especially his dull dessert). Michael is up and down, with well-cooked mystery box meal, a good 3rd course (but kinda gimmicky) and an overcooked dessert. After judges discussion, Michael is awarded the honor of being Top Chef. And since they've been playing up the brother rivalry all season, I'm not shocked.

Survivor - Jaison decides to start working the future Galu jury members by saying he and Russell made all the decisions, but his strategy is to lay low. He then drops the bomb that Mick told him Russell was a multi-millionaire, which shocks Monica and Brett (who? oh that kid). The immunity challenge happens right away and after a game of candlepin bowling, Jaison wins immunity. At camp, the plan is to vote off Dave to please Shambo, but Monica tries to save Dave by suggesting the jury would vote Shambo to win since she was Galu. Bitch, please! If I were to take anyone to the end it would be Shambo because everyone was annoyed by her and she hasn't done anything strategically. While Russell ponders the idea, ultimately Dave is voted out at the 30 minute mark of the show.

Yes, double elimination episode! Russell believes the biggest Galu threat remaining is Brett, so of course Brett wins immunity. Monica knows her time to go has been bumped up a week, so decides to cause dissention among the Foa Foas. She tells Russell about him being a multi-millionaire and that Jaison plans to get rid of Russell on day 39, when the immunity idol can no longer be played. Russell's go batshit crazy at camp, scrambling and yelling at his alliance. At Tribal Council, Monica is smug and Russell openly wears his immunity necklace and decides not to play it. With a vote of 4-2, Monica is the next member of the jury. 2 episodes left, people!

New! Jersey Shore - Ronnie and Sammi "Sweetheart" are basically a legit couple now, which includes going mini-golfing and making their roommates feel awkward. The Situation finds it difficult to cope, but I guess coping means getting in the hot tub with Snooki and her hot mess friend, and then letting Snooki make out with you. Also, Snooki eats pickles in a really awkward way and Pauly D and The Situation almost burn down the house with the gas grill by filling it with charcoal.

JWoww's boyfriend visits and after he tells her he'd dump her if she cheated, she decides not to tell that she fooled about with the Blowout King Pauly. She tells him later and he dumps her. And Jwoww says that being in a relationship made her, and I quote, "a f*cking nun," and that single JWoww will bring vengeance upon the house. At the club, Sammi flirts with another dude while Ronnie dances with some chicks. Ronnie gets angry and leaves and JWoww follows. Sammi gets pissed that JWoww went home with Ronnie and vows to kick her ass.

In "I do great things" news, Angelina's friends named Elena and Alayna (yes, you read that right) come to visit and they try to get her boyfriend to come to the club too. Well he does and immediately dumps her. That's when we find out her boyfriend is married and getting a divorce, so that's spectacular. She ignores his calls on the duck phone and then decides the next day to skip work at the easiest job ever selling inappropriate t-shirts. She instead shows up late claiming to be sick, which no one is buying. Danny, their boss/landlord, fires her from the shop, which means she can no longer live in the house. Angelina packs up her giant trash bag and heads back to her life as the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island. The house sits around the table and successfully complete grace, thanking the lord for getting the drama queen/cockblock out of the house.

December 8, 2009

Top 10 Moments from the Jersey Shore Premiere

12/08/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served 2 comments
It seemed like fate smiling in my direction when MTV premiered its latest reality series, Jersey Shore, the night before I was leaving to visit friends for the weekend in New Jersey. Needless to say, the first thing we did as a group was re-watch the epic show and then spend the remainder of the weekend quoting it. I wanted to hate this show, but it's the trainwreck you can't turn away from. The 2 hour season premiere was jam-packed with drama and hair gel, but here are my top 10 moments of the season premiere of Jersey Shore.

10. Vinny gets pinkeye after a night of dirty dancing, then has to call in sick to his first day of work for being a walking disease.

9. Angelina, who thinks calling herself "The Kim Kardashian of Long Island" is a positive thing, hates the house's job selling tacky souvenir t-shirts. She cites that her real profession is more satisfying in life. "I'm a bartender. I do, you know, great things."

8. Jenni aka JWOWW lets her boobies hang out, then cheats on her boyfriend with the master of the art of the blowout, Pauly D. Pauly D captivates the world by revealing that he has a Prince Albert.

7. Snooki can't operate a mallard duck telephone when she tries to call home to leave the show. She keeps hanging up on any person trying to call the house. She decides to stay and become a grown-up; she then brings a guy home from the club who pukes all over the roof deck.

6. Sammi aka Sweetheart makes out with Mike "The Situation," but then decides perpetually shirtless Ronnie is more her type and makes out with him the same night.

5. Snooki tells us her life's ambition: "My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a juiced, hot, tan guy and live my life."

4. The house sits down for a "Guido Italian family dinner" featuring favorites like "sausage and peppas," chicken, and salad. Vinny can't say grace without cracking up, making JWOWW angry. If you're gonna do grace, do it right.

3. Nicole aka Snooki aka "The Princess of Poughkeepsie, N.Y." enters the house and immediately gets blackout drunk. She then sexually harasses her male roommates in the hot tub in her underwear. Her grand finale includes falling down the stairs and passing out in a hammock. The next day, Sammi doesn't want to get Snooki's "pukey breath" on her.

2. Mike is introduced, and we quickly learn that he is only known by a nickname for his abs: The Situation. The "situation" does not apply to his kinda busted looking face. He later convinces tourists to get "The Situation" screen-printed onto their souvenir booty shorts.

1. Snooki getting punched in the face by a random guy in the "This season on Jersey Shore" preview.

Special thanks to Senior Jersey Shore Consultant, Dave Robbins!

December 7, 2009

Serving of the Week

12/07/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments

Name: Tiger Woods
SERVED: Breaking News! Tiger Woods cheated on his wife! I know, this is probably the first you're hearing of it so please be calm. After a hectic Thanksgiving weekend at the Woods' household involving a crashed car, broken windows, and affair accusations, all the chicks Tiger's had on the side are coming forward. Besides Rachel Uchitel (who also was allegedly involved in an affair with David Boreanaz), has been linked to 5 other women. Even worse? One was on VH1's Tool Academy. Gross! Tiger must be insane to think he could sext and leave incriminating voicemails to some famewhore skanks without them coming out of the woodwork to make some fash cash via US Weekly. Tiger, you've been SERVED. FOOOOOOOORE!

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

December 6, 2009

Movie Scene Sunday: Anchorman

12/06/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
During my college years at West Virginia Univesity, the movie Anchorman was basically the center of our universe. I'm pretty sure we often had conversations consisting of only one-liners from the movie. This weekend I'm cheering on the Mountaineers in New Jersey and having a mini reunion with the ol' Channel 4 News Team and other college friends. While we're chowing down on pancake breakfasts and likely performing an a capella rendition of "Afternoon Delight", watch the master of the world, Ron Burgundy, impress a lady. And then quote it all day long.

December 4, 2009

Reality Rundown: The End of the Globetrotting Adventure

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest LoserSo You Think You Can Dance
Top ChefSurvivor

The Amazing Race - It's an overnight leg in Prague (again) where Meghan & Cheyne continue to dominate the race by getting far ahead and winning another leg; I could care less. The Roadblock is answer phones and retrieve letters to unscramble. The Globetrotters chose Big Easy to do this task, and I guess they forgot that Big Easy isn't good at unscrambling puzzles. Big Easy can't figure out the answer "Franz" and takes the 4 hour penalty- my viewer sadness sets in (they're so out).

Brian and Ericka easily complete their Speed Bump of preparing and drinking the Green Fairy aka Absinthe. Hooray! I feared the alleged hallucination-inducing beverage would be ignored. Everyone else completes the Roadblock, freezes in a -180 degrees Celsius room, and then rush to the Detour. The Detour is to build a mud golem (not this one) and transport it to rabbis, or carry beers to soccer hooligans while avoiding drunks on the street. Flight Time and Big Easy's penalty ends in the early morning, but it's too late: they're gone. Sob! Everyone please spin a basketball on your finger in memory of Flight Time & Big Easy's globetrotting adventure. So another final 3 is here and my support goes to my 2nd favorite team this season: Brian & Ericka. Next week: Vegas finale!

The Biggest Loser - The losers are off the ranch and have to learn to adapt to the real world again. Besides struggling with time management and workouts, it's hard to adjust to their families again. Liz had marital problems before the show, Rudy and Danny's wives feel left out and have struggled as the sole provider for months, and Amanda was so unhappy before. Bob and Jillian let the losers know their final challenge: to run a marathon. Through sweat and tears, they all finish showing their success on TBL.

At the final weigh-in, Danny loses 59lbs at home- making him 14lbs away from losing 50% of his initial weight. For those of you doing the math, this prize is Danny's. Rudy also secures his spot, leaving Liz and Amanda up for America to decide who joins them in the finale. And since America voted last season to get Amanda on the show, I'm sure America would like to finish the journey with her.

So You Think You Can Dance - Partner switch! Mollee and Nathan benefit from their split, as predicted by all. Mollee gets paired with Russell and the judges go ga-ga; me, not so much. Their jive was fun and all, but I personally found their lyrical jazz to have no chemistry whatsoever. Nathan and Kathryn's Broadway is fun and spot on, but their rumba is not so great. Noelle and Ryan make a great pair with a smooth waltz and hip hop, but I doubt anyone will call in for them. Ashley is paired with Legacy and they take on a very physical contemporary piece and a hip hop routine that the judges didn't like. The dream couple of the night is Ellenore and Jacob who have to tackle the quickstep dance of death, but then pull off the best routine all season (contemporary). Now I feel vindicated my putting them in my top 4 favorites. Who are my other 2 favorites? Russell and Ashley.

Results show! The group performs a Tyce Diorio routine to Billy Joel's "Still Rock and Roll To Me" which is seriously the least rock & roll song ever. Cat Deeley is wearing this awful Spanxx looking dress out of Sam McCall from General Hospital's hamper. The bottom 4 are Noelle, Kathryn, Ryan, and Nathan. While Noelle and Kathryn are both good dancers, I think the personality is lacking on both, or at least what I see of Noelle's annoys me. She is eliminated. The Nathan backlash finally ends with his demise. I think if Nathan were in the bottom 3 the week he deserved to be there, he'd be a finalist. So apparently there's 2 weeks left (a final 6 instead of 4), so stay tuned!

Top Chef -Finale Part 1! Kevin, Jen, and the Brothers are in Napa Valley to see who will be crowned Top Scallop Chef. Kevin is riding high knowing there's a Facebook group routing for his beard. Pregnant Padma and Top Chef Master contender Michael Chiarello judge the Quickfire which is to make a dish with grapes on a wine train. And the winner gets a Prius! Jerk brother Michael wins with grape leaves stuffed with cous cous and a grape/scallop kebob. My dish: PB&J, no crust. Simple and elegant.

The elimination challenge is to make 2 dishes for 150 people, one vegetarian and one with a protein, and all ingredients must be home-grown in Napa Valley (except the salt and pepper). Bryan made pasta and short ribs and the judges went nuts for it; he's declared the challenge winner. Kevin's carrot and beet salad was exceptional, but his brisket wasn't done enough. Jen is complimented for excellent use of seasonal produce with her chevre mousse and duck. Michael's "perfect egg" is overpowered by other ingredients, and his turnip soup sounded weird. But it is my #1 Jen that gets eliminated. BOOOOO! And if you didn't guess this whole season the overhyped sibling rivalry wouldn't play out in the finales, you crazy. Kevin FTW!

Survivor -It's my favorite event of every Survivor season: auction! Natalie gets PB&J and a shower, Shambo gets nasty guts with parmesan cheese, Jaison gets a leg up at the immunity challenge, and John refuses to sacrifice his slice of pie to please the others. All eyes are on John, except for Shambo's. After finally killing the chickens for meat, Shambo has this weird Willy Wonka hallucination in her sleep where she sees pecking chickens, bugs, and the tribe voting out Dave (the guy who dared question her chicken cooking technique). This is the plan, until John tells Russell he knows Russell has the idol. Russell switches up the plan and approaches Dave to take out John, but decide not to include Shambo. Jaison, who won immunity, warns Mick that if they don't include Shambo on the plans she could flip next week and force a tie.

At Tribal Council, Shambo says that the day has been so calm, but Russell said it's been nonstop strategy. Shambo's weakness is that she only plays by her emotions, which is why I'd take her to final 2: she's hated by the jury and plays no game. Hello million! Shambo still votes for Dave, John votes for Mick, and John gets completely blindsided by the remaining 6 votes. Another awesome week.