December 11, 2009

Reality Rundown: Please Pack Your Trash Bag and Go

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest LoserSo You Think You Can Dance
Top ChefSurvivorNew! Jersey Shore

The Amazing Race - The teams fly from Prague to Las Vegas for their final leg of the race and retrieve a clue from a wedding chapel Elvis. The Road Block makes one teammate rappel face-first down the Mandalay Bay hotel, and I'm sure the golden windows against the sun burnt their eyes. Brian/Ericka take an early lead, but falter in the task to retrieve a bouquet of flowers via bungee cord at Cirque du Soleil's Beatles-inspired Love. Ericka throws a really annoying tantrum, making it hard to route for her. Of course Meghan and Cheyne are great at it and take the lead. What they aren't great at: basic trivia. Told to go to the hotel that is the favorite of Monaco (Monte Carlo), they head to the wrong hotel.

The Brothers are first to arrive at the Monte Carlo and begin the next task: count a million dollars in chips. Mr. and Mrs. Perfect succeed again and head to the MGM Grand to meet Mr. Las Vegas, Wayne Newton, in a suite to retrieve the final clue: the finish line is at Wayne Newton's gaudy house. While the brothers are close behind, Meghan and Cheyne predictably win the race. While Meghan and Cheyne deserve the win and dominated the majority of the race, they're just boring as hell. Another season ends, another dull winner. Edge of seat finale, boring ending.

The Biggest Loser - Finale! Right off the bat we find out America voted Amanda into the finale over Liz; if anyone was shocked by this, you crazy. Before we get to the big prize though, all the eliminated contestants weigh-in for the Biggest Loser At Home prize ($100k). Antoine, eliminated week 2, looks smokin' hot and proposes to Alexandra, eliminated week 1. Julio was unrecognizable in a good way, except his bad facial hair. Crazy Eyes Tracy is thin- too thin in fact. In my opinion, she didn't look good- add 10 more pounds and some weight to the face. She is the front runner for the at-home prize until pink-team Rebecca loses 49% of her body fat, making her TBL at home. To encourage big crying Shea to lose more weight, Subway offers to get her $1k for each pound she loses until the May finale of next season's TBL.

The final 3 come out with way too many video packages to draw out the time. Amanda is out first with 32% lost, but she's a winner in life (corny, I know). It's down to Rudy and Danny, who both look so good. As I predicted, Danny wins by dropped 55% of his original weight and is the winner of The Biggest Loser 8.

So You Think You Can Dance - One week left! The 8 prepare to go to the final 6 and next week's finale. Ashleigh is injured and can't dance tonight- nooo! Her partner Russell is left to dance with choreographer's assistants, but his hip-hop and Bollywood are so awesome. Ryan/Kathryn are amazing in both their cha cha and disco, but I still think they could be in trouble. They seem to lack the star presence the others have. Mollee/Jakob are the standouts of the night, with a beautiful Viennese waltz and a fun Broadway. In my opinion, Jakob is the best dancer this show has ever had- I said it! Ellenore/Legacy are the recipients of yet another amazing Travis Wall piece, which Nigel declares an Emmy contender. Their hip-hop is only OK though, leaving them vulnerable in the vote. After an impassioned plea from the judges, I finally exercised my right to vote and called in for Jakob, Russell, and Ashleigh. Who will make the finale?

Kat tells Jakob and Russell they are in the finals, making the bottom 2 Legacy and Ryan (no surprise). The surprise, however, is that Legacy is eliminated, which is kinda surprising to me. I used to really like Ryan, but he's lower on the totem pole for me. As for the girls, Ashley and Kathyrn make the final 2; whaaaat?! I thought they were the bottom 2. Ellenore and Mollee are left in the bottom and it's little Mollee that is left crying and out of the finals.

Top Chef - OMG I finally get Bravo in HD now- the food looks so real I might lick the screen (and shave Kevin's beard). For the chefs final meal, they will cook 3 courses: 1st course must be made from ingredients in a mystery basket, 2nd course whatever you want, and 3rd course must be a dessert. Each chef also gets 2 sous chefs of past cheftestants, which they draw knives for. Kevin seems most screwed because: 1. he's not a dessert person and 2. he pulled Preeti's knife, and she sucks. Kevin and Michael/Bryan's moms come to visit, which allows some bonding and yet another twist. Tom tells them now it will be a 4 course meal; 1st course should now be a dish inspired by their mother and favorite childhood food. More scrambling.

Bryan's first few courses aren't very flavorful, but his 3rd course (venison) wows the judges. His dessert is deemed pastry-chef quality. Kevin starts out strong with his "mom meal" and mysery basket, but it's downhill from there (especially his dull dessert). Michael is up and down, with well-cooked mystery box meal, a good 3rd course (but kinda gimmicky) and an overcooked dessert. After judges discussion, Michael is awarded the honor of being Top Chef. And since they've been playing up the brother rivalry all season, I'm not shocked.

Survivor - Jaison decides to start working the future Galu jury members by saying he and Russell made all the decisions, but his strategy is to lay low. He then drops the bomb that Mick told him Russell was a multi-millionaire, which shocks Monica and Brett (who? oh that kid). The immunity challenge happens right away and after a game of candlepin bowling, Jaison wins immunity. At camp, the plan is to vote off Dave to please Shambo, but Monica tries to save Dave by suggesting the jury would vote Shambo to win since she was Galu. Bitch, please! If I were to take anyone to the end it would be Shambo because everyone was annoyed by her and she hasn't done anything strategically. While Russell ponders the idea, ultimately Dave is voted out at the 30 minute mark of the show.

Yes, double elimination episode! Russell believes the biggest Galu threat remaining is Brett, so of course Brett wins immunity. Monica knows her time to go has been bumped up a week, so decides to cause dissention among the Foa Foas. She tells Russell about him being a multi-millionaire and that Jaison plans to get rid of Russell on day 39, when the immunity idol can no longer be played. Russell's go batshit crazy at camp, scrambling and yelling at his alliance. At Tribal Council, Monica is smug and Russell openly wears his immunity necklace and decides not to play it. With a vote of 4-2, Monica is the next member of the jury. 2 episodes left, people!

New! Jersey Shore - Ronnie and Sammi "Sweetheart" are basically a legit couple now, which includes going mini-golfing and making their roommates feel awkward. The Situation finds it difficult to cope, but I guess coping means getting in the hot tub with Snooki and her hot mess friend, and then letting Snooki make out with you. Also, Snooki eats pickles in a really awkward way and Pauly D and The Situation almost burn down the house with the gas grill by filling it with charcoal.

JWoww's boyfriend visits and after he tells her he'd dump her if she cheated, she decides not to tell that she fooled about with the Blowout King Pauly. She tells him later and he dumps her. And Jwoww says that being in a relationship made her, and I quote, "a f*cking nun," and that single JWoww will bring vengeance upon the house. At the club, Sammi flirts with another dude while Ronnie dances with some chicks. Ronnie gets angry and leaves and JWoww follows. Sammi gets pissed that JWoww went home with Ronnie and vows to kick her ass.

In "I do great things" news, Angelina's friends named Elena and Alayna (yes, you read that right) come to visit and they try to get her boyfriend to come to the club too. Well he does and immediately dumps her. That's when we find out her boyfriend is married and getting a divorce, so that's spectacular. She ignores his calls on the duck phone and then decides the next day to skip work at the easiest job ever selling inappropriate t-shirts. She instead shows up late claiming to be sick, which no one is buying. Danny, their boss/landlord, fires her from the shop, which means she can no longer live in the house. Angelina packs up her giant trash bag and heads back to her life as the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island. The house sits around the table and successfully complete grace, thanking the lord for getting the drama queen/cockblock out of the house.