December 23, 2009

Reality Rundown: That Dumbass Girl Beat You

12/23/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 1 comment

Survivor - In the 2 hour finale event (plus a one hour reunion), the final 5 duke it out in another physical/puzzle immunity challenge. The Foa Foas know this is it: they have to take out Brett. So of course, Brett wins immunity again (and I get to type this a 3rd time). Natalie is low on the totem pole, but Russell needs her for the final 2, so he approaches Jaison to take out Mick and he approaches Mick to take out Jaison. Jaison is easy to beat in the jury, but Mick could help take out Brett. Jaison gets blindsided and is sent to the jury.

If you thought family visits bored me (which we didn't have this season), then you'll know that every season I fast forward through the Survivor rite of passage to pay honor to those torches that have been snuffed. I'm sure it was beautiful. In gaming, Russell approaches Brett to make a final 3 deal as some insurance, since Brett's immunity streak can't be stopped. To win immunity, the players have to hold a little man statue on top of a pole and keep adding extenders every 2 minutes until it gets super tall and your arms quiver. Mick and Natalie fall first, leaving it to Russell and Brett, and I start to go insane. No way can Brett win this- if he makes the jury, this will be the worst winner ever. Russell pulls through on a challenge at long last and wins immunity. Russell for once feels guilt because Brett is such a nice kid and he wonders if he really should bring the best to the end, but he doesn't: Brett is finally voted out.

So our final 3 heading to the jury are Russell, Natalie, and Mick and I think we all know this is Russell's victory, easily. Russell knows this too and is a real dick around camp, basically telling everyone they're playing for 2nd place. Russell explains to the jury his entire strategic take on the game since day 1 and it's impressive. The jury ain't impressed; sour grapes is the food of choice of the jury and they don't appreciate his "I'm the best and I'll f you all approach." Mick is deemed pointless in being there, but he at least is given the best question ever (by Brett of all people!): if they were to take a "bro-date," what would they do? The answer is so dull; no go-karts or ice cream? Lame! Natalie defends her strategy of aligning with Russell and letting him take the hits, citing that the outwardly strong women got the axe. Erik makes this weird impassioned plea for Natalie before the votes are cast. Jeff grabs the urn of votes and walks off...

Off to the reunion! Jeff reads the votes and it comes to 7-2 and Natalie is named the sole Survivor! Russell is pissed, to say the least; he even offers Natalie $10k just for the title of sole survivor (she declines). Jeff points out that Natalie was supposedly part of Russell's original "Dumbass girl alliance" and that the dumbass girl beat him; served! Russell does win the Player of the Year vote from the viewers, which helps him validate himself (but 2nd and 3rd place were Shambo and Brett- WTF America? You think these people are players of the year?) The reunion itself is the same old; lots of Russell talk, Russell could've won if the finals including Shambo and Jaison, Shambo's had her mullet since '84... but the most important moment happens in the last few minutes: the preview for epic Survivor 20 All Stars season, titled Heroes vs. Villains. We'll have to wait to see the cast for a few weeks, but hopefully it'll be a good one (even if most of the rumored cast might be getting their 3rd go-round on Survivor).


Unknown said...

If you go on YouTube and type in Survivor: Heroes vs. Villians, you will find the intro for next season with all the cast members revealed. Should be good.