December 8, 2009

Top 10 Moments from the Jersey Shore Premiere

12/08/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served 2 comments
It seemed like fate smiling in my direction when MTV premiered its latest reality series, Jersey Shore, the night before I was leaving to visit friends for the weekend in New Jersey. Needless to say, the first thing we did as a group was re-watch the epic show and then spend the remainder of the weekend quoting it. I wanted to hate this show, but it's the trainwreck you can't turn away from. The 2 hour season premiere was jam-packed with drama and hair gel, but here are my top 10 moments of the season premiere of Jersey Shore.

10. Vinny gets pinkeye after a night of dirty dancing, then has to call in sick to his first day of work for being a walking disease.

9. Angelina, who thinks calling herself "The Kim Kardashian of Long Island" is a positive thing, hates the house's job selling tacky souvenir t-shirts. She cites that her real profession is more satisfying in life. "I'm a bartender. I do, you know, great things."

8. Jenni aka JWOWW lets her boobies hang out, then cheats on her boyfriend with the master of the art of the blowout, Pauly D. Pauly D captivates the world by revealing that he has a Prince Albert.

7. Snooki can't operate a mallard duck telephone when she tries to call home to leave the show. She keeps hanging up on any person trying to call the house. She decides to stay and become a grown-up; she then brings a guy home from the club who pukes all over the roof deck.

6. Sammi aka Sweetheart makes out with Mike "The Situation," but then decides perpetually shirtless Ronnie is more her type and makes out with him the same night.

5. Snooki tells us her life's ambition: "My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a juiced, hot, tan guy and live my life."

4. The house sits down for a "Guido Italian family dinner" featuring favorites like "sausage and peppas," chicken, and salad. Vinny can't say grace without cracking up, making JWOWW angry. If you're gonna do grace, do it right.

3. Nicole aka Snooki aka "The Princess of Poughkeepsie, N.Y." enters the house and immediately gets blackout drunk. She then sexually harasses her male roommates in the hot tub in her underwear. Her grand finale includes falling down the stairs and passing out in a hammock. The next day, Sammi doesn't want to get Snooki's "pukey breath" on her.

2. Mike is introduced, and we quickly learn that he is only known by a nickname for his abs: The Situation. The "situation" does not apply to his kinda busted looking face. He later convinces tourists to get "The Situation" screen-printed onto their souvenir booty shorts.

1. Snooki getting punched in the face by a random guy in the "This season on Jersey Shore" preview.

Special thanks to Senior Jersey Shore Consultant, Dave Robbins!


Unknown said...

Get your pukey breath off me

Anonymous said...

Sooo good! One of your best posts ever! You are going to love your xmas present. Seriously, you might die.