February 28, 2009

The Worst Reason to Ever Call 911

2/28/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 2 comments
Do you ever get pissed when you get to Dunkin Donuts and they're out of chocolate frosted donuts? Or when you missed McDonald's breakfast by 10 minutes? Well this man wants lemonade, and he's not going to take no for an answer.

February 27, 2009

Reality Rundown: Sous-Vide with Caution

The Biggest Loser - We ended last episode with the Black team winning the challenge and getting a 3lb advantage at the next weigh in. At the weigh-in, Blue weight in first and pulls some decent numbers- my ex-Purple girls pull double digits! But frightening-without-a-shirt Ron only did 5lbs again and I think his time should come to an end because he's injured and whines a lot. The Black team needs to get over 40lbs as a team to win the weigh-in, which they easily do. So Blue has to kick someone off and it comes down to Ron, who is injured and won't help the team win, or Dane because Ron claims Dane can lose the weight at home and has support. Stupid Aubrey doesn't want to make a decision so she votes for Kristen. Are you kidding me? She pulled 10lbs, you did 5! Man up and make a real vote! Bob's old team sticks together and Dane goes home and runs a marathon with his wife. I'm so over Ron and his son and while I understand old bonds are tight, Ron is dead weight and needs to go.

American Idol - If you thought last week was bad, well this week was worse. I can't even pick 3 who will make it. I'll give you who I knew would move on: 16 year old girl and Guyliner. The rest I just can't even comment because they were so bad. Nick/Norman's performance of that Dreamgirls song was pretty hilarious though (watch here)- especially when he yelled "Doogie!" at audience member, Neil Patrick Harris? The real highlight of the night? The girl who performed first's mother, who was the most bitter looking lady. Pay attention to the photo highlights below (in a handy slideshow!) When her daughter sings, it's pure joy. But they sat her in the second row the entire episode, which is right behind where the current singer's guests sit, and she is the most bitter looking woman the whole time. When the entire audience is giving a standing ovation, pay attention... she's still sitting down! This absolutely made my night and helped make up for an abysmal 2 hours of singing.

In case you were wondering, 16 year old, Guyliner, and the kid who sang "Man in the Mirror" (who we called Old Archuleta) moved. Old Archuleta was a maybe in my eyes, but I thought maybe hippie girl had a chance. Oh, well- another 12 to suffer through next week!

Top Chef - Finale part 2. Former Top Chef finalists that lost are the contestant's sous chefs. Richard Blais is back- who wants banana scallops? Marcel from Season 2 is back and I'm way over him. I get excited when Carla gets Casey from Season 3, because Casey was a great chef. Big mistake! Carla ends up letting Casey dictate too much of the menu and my poor Carla loses, and I almost cry. I think I was as upset as Carla who, if it weren't for 2 Casey-handed dishes, probably would've won. It comes down to Hosea, who didn't make dessert, and Stefan who did. But since Stefan's dessert was nothing great and Hosea had a better meal overall, he wins. BFD. Unless it was Carla, I didn't care. Hosea and Stefan's childish bickering was such an annoyance this season and they focused on it so much, I figured it would be them head-t0-head in the finale with Hosea "triumphing." But overall, another great season (even if Carla didn't win). Come back soon Top Chef!

Survivor - Remember when Coach wanted to only align with the strong and then voted off Candace? Well now he's just ready to pick off the annoyances. While Coach is annoying also, I will say up until last night, he was basically the only player's name I knew. My favorite player has to go to Tyson, who was deemed "assistant coach" and has declared that if tribes are ever shaken up he will demand to be called "Coach" also, not to mention saying he wanted to blindside another castaway because "She's wants to be here so bad" that he wants to crush her dreams. LOVE! One of the contestants sent to Exile returns to camp and finds the Immunity Idol hidden in the Tree Mail post- so this should be interesting. Who will he confide this information to? I'd say NO ONE! But maybe Taj, since they are creating a secret cross-tribe alliance that could pay off, if everyone can be trusted. Jalapao (Red team) is really bonding- they won blankets and pillows, have been catching fish, and are really working as a team and it shows: they win both the reward and immunity challenge, so Timbira (black) have to vote someone off. Poor Jerry is sick and trying to hide his true pain, but it's not enough. His tribe knows he's the weakest link and gets rid of him. So sad- another likable one leaves!

America's Best Dance Crew - Final 3 and wow, did 2 of the 3 bring it. Luckily, Fly Kicks are finally eliminated. Beat Freaks automatically advance to the Finals since they received the most votes and as usual, their routines are great. But Quest Crew came to win. They were phenomenal in both the "Hip Hop Decathalon" and their final original performance. I was blown away- so much that... I voted. Yes, one vote for Quest Crew. Last week I had said I'd be happy if either won, and I still would be, but I think after last night, while I love my Beat Freaks... Quest Crew deserves the win. Also, I'd like to give kudos to the stylish Lil' Mama who ditched her old Yankee caps and shiny track jackets for her new fashionable look- lookin' good Mama! JC- still wearing cardigans... Next week: the winner is announced!

February 26, 2009

Poll of the Day: Jetsons or Flintstones?

2/26/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Poll of the Day:
If you could live in either of these cartoon's worlds, which would you live in?
The Jetsons or The Flintstones?

Me- I'd pick the Jetsons. Robots, flying cars, gadgets that do everything? You can't beat it! Plus, my fear of birds would hinder my ability to shower during the Flintstones time.

Vote now in the comments!

February 23, 2009

Reality Rundown - Alliance? This ain't no Survivor.

Welcome back folks! The Reality Rundown is already a hit- so much so that the posts are getting longer SO the Reality Rundown will now be 2 posts per week so that it doesn't overwhelm you with one post of pure awesomeness. So let's keep the ball (or Amazing Race cheese wheel) rolling and start with the first half of the week!

The Amazing Race - Off to Germany the racers go! The Roadblock makes one team member paraglide- but they have to wait until weather conditions are perfect or they can opt for a 60 minute walk down the mountain. All teams but one opted to run. One contestant waited, Mel with the injured groin, but eventually flies down- and comes in second place! During the Roadblock, the woman on what we'll call the "Hick Team" didn't follow the route markers and ended up on the other side of the mountain. I understand the pressure of the race, but I'd like to think I'd be smart enough in that situation to read the directions correctly and follow the arrows. If you loved the Cheese Wheels of last week, you'll enjoy this week's Detour: Slam cakes in each others' faces (watch now!) or ride a Segway scooter through an obstacle course. This would be a tough call for me, as both are things I'd love to do, but I think I would've opted for the cakes because it reminds me of my dream to be on a Nickelodeon game show. In the end the Hicks go home (no shock there), the brother and sister team win this leg (and hybrid go-karts!). This season has already been more enjoyable than the last one!

I Love Money - This week is the "ass-kissing challenge" because besides the hookups, Ithis show is all about butt-kissing. Buckwild and Milf throw the challenge, leaving just T-Weed kissing Myammee's butt. Sometimes to take out a big player, you need to take risks- even if it's obvious. The Gold team comes down to Frenchie kissing Prancer's behind, and since we all know Frenchie's stripping and porn past, I am putting all my chips on Gold winning. T-Weed eventually collapses (in a safe way) and Green loses. Then they blame him for the loss. What? He lasted longer than the others, even if the others threw it. He is thrown into the box with Milf and Buckwild. At the Power Outing, a T-Weed/Entertainer alliance starts brewing to take out Buddha. At Elimination, Buckwild gets a check first and kisses Frank- future power-couple? Next called down... T-Weed. The Entertainer tells T-Weed that he begged him to not pick Buddha for his team but he didn't listen, and now they can't get rid of Buddha and because of this, T-Weed goes home. The end. Wait, NO! Craig has a twist! All the men need to write the name of the most loyal man, and the same for the women. Sapphyri and 20 Pack easily win, and these 2 people will be the new team captains. Time to pick new teams! But one person will not get picked and go home. They go down the line and pick and the final 2 are Ice and Buddha. The Gold Team has the last pick and they say they need a strong man- so they pick ICE! Buddha got SERVED!!! I'm so glad Buddha is gone because his arrogance was so annoying. I'm moving my support to the Green team because I love Saaphyri and the Entertainer and think they stand a chance to take the final prize. Next week- team chaos... again!

The Bachelor - The Women Tell All special aired, and it was. kind of boring. Host Chris Harrison interviews Jason, which was really Chris trying to find out if Jason slept with anyone. We find out Jason sent home Jillian because he saw her only as a best friend. Chris pointed out that last week's makeout session with Jason and Jillian made Cinemax call and say it was too much- ha. Jillian is interviewed and still seems a little depressed but would be open to this experience again. New Bachelorette?? There were also a lot of bloopers that I fast forwarded through. Universally hated Natalie claimed she's not superficial, saying she had a hard time doing the show because she couldn't use her Blackberry, iPod, etc. To which Chris says, "You mean superficial things?" We always make fun of Chris because he doesn't do much during the season besides talk a bit to the Bachelor about where his head's at and come out at the end of the rose ceremony to say "This is your final rose," but he shows he's a pretty good host during these reunion specials. They also explored Bachelors and Bachelorettes of the past, which is what I found most interesting. Trista and Ryan, the show's only success story, are happy in Vail with one kid and another on the way and doing Skecher's ads (not mentioned on show). Charlie O'Connell and the girl he picked his season dated for 2 years, broke up, then are back together and happy. But most entertaining was the fact that ex-Bachelors and Bachelorettes all party with each other and hook up all the time. So ladies and gents, if you're going on The Bachelor(ette), don't necessarily go for whoever is running that season. Get eliminated, then start dating other ex-contestants. Next week: the most shocking rose ceremony and After the Rose special EVER! But if reports are right, for once, they aren't exaggerating.

From G's to Gents - This is an episode I've been excited for: a rap battle with proper grammar and no cussing. The G's are split into two teams will have to head-to-head battle on a topic, best of 5. The guys are all pretty good, except for A-Felon, who allegedly is a rapper yet tanked because Macho stuck his tongue out at him, and JoJo who gets on stage completely wasted and swears (automatic disqualification). Based on some eloquent freestyle from resident white guy Lank, his team wins. For some reason, everyone starts to question Macho's sexuality (the tongue thing?), which of course leads to more drama. Macho goes to see Mr. Bentley to complain about what happened, so then Mr. Bentley brings in A-Felon and AD. Seriously, sticking out someone's tongue to me is a cop-out for A-Felon choking and being a wack rapper. I tried to pay attention to the solo talks but I noticed a giant bottle of champagne in Mr. Bentley's study which makes me chuck and remember an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Quote of the week from Mr. Bentley: "Alliance? This Ain't no Survivor." Great quote, but also, kind of funny since this whole week was about proper grammar and not using the word "ain't." JoJo is immediately eliminated for being drunk in public and being a bad representative for the club. A-Felon runs his mouth about Macho having no respect amongst his peers, then Macho is deemed safe. And after what was monologued as hateful, disrespectful, and more adjectives behavior involved between the AD, A-Felon, and Macho, Mr. Bentley sends them BOTH home! 3 G's out of the door. Next week's episode: chivalry! And dating!

The Biggest Loser - I was a such multi-tasker in tonight's episode because while I watch I did 30 minutes of Wii Fit Free Step (it keeps time in the remote control!) It was like an interactive experience- you exercise with the contestants and trainers! The contestants arrive to a muddy challenge, but also arrive to Blue and Black jerseys- time to split into teams. Whoever wins the Pop Challenge will remain with their partner and their trainer; last place will automatically switch trainers. Everyone else's fate will be decided by a coin toss. The teams are switched. With this twist of fate, Jillian now has most of the strong players and Bob has the underdogs. Usually Bob has what I'd call the "jocks" but now he's more like Jillian, so it's new for him. I was also routing for a Bob victory this season, but he has a 2 contestants that I just can't stand. Upon seeing the new teams, Jillian isn't too surprised and is sympathetic, but sees a benefit from being able to learn 2 different exercise methods. When Bob sees his new team, well he's pretty livid (he keeps himself composed for the most part). Because this is a show, they have to have these twists to amp up the drama. However, the emotional stress I think can throw off the players and isn't the whole point of this to lose as much weight as you can? But everyone sort of realizes they have to move on and exercise. The teams then need to ride as many miles as possible in 24 HOUR for a 3lb advantage (and bikes!). Black wisely develops a strategy of each person riding 30 minutes, then getting a 2 1/2 hour break. The Blue team rides as they please? Black wins with 301 miles completed and both teams satisfied that they didn't quit. The episode ends and to be continued on Wednesday. But sadder for you is the conclusion to this Biggest Loser recap won't come until Friday. Sorry kiddies!

So as mentioned, the Reality Rundown will be 2 parts since I'm becoming quite verbose! Come back at the end of the week for the conclusion to The Biggest Loser, more Idol coverage, and of course- Survivor!

February 22, 2009

It's Oscar Night!

2/22/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served 4 comments
Last year I was really into the Oscars. I saw all 5 best picture nominees and ranked them. I had picks for all the acting, sound editing, scores- you name it. This year? Not so much. I feel like even having the ability to see the movies was impossible. Of the 5 best picture nominees, only 2 were in wide release. Tonight I will route for Slumdog Millionaire because it was the only film I saw- but I'm also routing for Milk because it's a movie I wanted to see, yet it never made it to the cinemas here. But here is an Oscar treat from Dave Holmes' Twitter. If you love has-beens, this will blow your mind.



Keep an eye out for Corey Feldman in his full on Jacko phase.

February 19, 2009

Reality Rundown: Blindsides and Bad Eliminations

Welcome to what I hope will be a recurring post, my reality rundown. As you all know, I watch an extraordinary amount of TV and a large chunk of that is still reality. From the good to horrible, I seem to dabble in it all. So here's some thoughts on all the delightful reality I watched this week.

The Amazing Race - Welcome back Amazing Race! Apparently the logo was updated, but I didn't notice. I did notice the jazzier theme song. I still love the Amazing Race, but it has become a bit stale. It's the same partners every year, which is why I hope this season brings something a bit more. I love the brothers who are both stunt doubles, and the mother and deaf son are interesting, and a gay father and son make an interesting grouping. And luckily, the bickering dating couple, who down the line would become insufferable, went home first! The teams went to Switzerland and hilarious had to haul 50lb cheese wheels down a hill. I think my strategy would've been to let the cheese roll down the hill intentionally and then chased after them. What's great this season is Phil Keoghan, the host, is blogging about the show for Entertainment Weekly- I highly recommend. All the TV show host blogs are really insightful about the contestants, show, process, etc.

The Bachelor - This week was fantasy suite dates which is always a great week for the women to feel degraded on television (more specifically, the girl who gets sent home that week). Every week I watch this show, I grow to dislike the Bachelor, Jason, even more- he gets uglier and skeezier each week. And after a semi-pornographic make-out session with Jillian, aka Hot Dog Girl, he cuts her! And now that news has leaked about the "most shocking ending" to the Bachelor ever, I can confirm Jason seems more like a loser jerk than ever. I won't spoil, but it is kind of shocking and once the After the Final Rose airs, I think I can air my grievances, Festivus-style, against Jason.

I Love Money 2 - How I love this trashy program. I can not get enough Buckwild and Saaphyri, the best reality show BFFs out there. Who I don't want anymore is Leilene and Buddha- good news is, whiny Leilene went home. Leilene, a known crybaby on these shows, was there for love. Has she watched these shows? There is no love on VH1! Unless love can be cured with a little penicillin of course. Now if only they could get rid of the arrogant Buddha- he really just uses the women to get ahead and it's sick. Here's hoping Frank the Entertainer wins it all and gets out of his parents basement. And Heat- just go away. You can tell when someone is really hamming it up for the cameras, and Heat is just a famewhore.

American Idol - Finally it is the Top 36 which means everyone at this point can sing! Wait, no. What an awful episode of poor singing and crummy talent. I'm glad I DVR the show because a 2 hour episode of Idol can be completed in 20 minutes. Fast forward through half the song, skip the boring talk with the parents/family (time wasting!) Just a little bit of singing and the judges- it makes the watching of the show so much more tolerable, because clearly this could have been an hour and a half, but instead it was dragged to two hours. My choices to move on were Pink Haired Girl, Dead Wife Guy, and Anoop. Anoop was instead replaced with the Oil Driller or something. I knew the third pick would be a "personality" pick, I'm just surprised they picked such a dull one- I'm on your team Anoop! I am just glad Tatiana is gone for now because that girl is nuts- legitimately. I wouldn't be shocked if she made suicide threats last night after being eliminated. She didn't do a loud flip out when she was cut, rather one of those passive-aggressive shove-aways. I'm sure she'll get picked as a Wild Card for drama sake.

The Biggest Loser - What's crazy about this season compared to the past 2 seasons I watched is that for once, I am routing against every person on Jillian's team. Usually Jillian has the lovable underdogs- this season, they are whining, annoying, and just plain uninteresting. I could only tell you the name of one person on Jillian's team (loudmouth Aubrey in yellow). I am all for any of Bob's teams taking it all... except the Brown Team. Every week the NBC promos hype the "youngest contestant ever" and how "America's fallen in love" with him. Really?? Cause I sure haven't and until this past week, I couldn't even tell you the kids name. For the first 3 or 4 weeks they never even focused on this team. Next week the pairs are split into teams, the infamous black and blue. I think poor Bob is going to get stuck with a bunch of Jillian's a-holes. And please remind me that I need to try my Bob Harper's Yoga Blast DVD this weekend.

From G's to Gents - Of course I watch this! Fonzworth Bentley is as dapper as ever, and the G's as G-riffic. Luckily tonight eliminated Riff Raff who was maybe the spookiest looking person I've ever watched on television - and I watched Sister Patterson on I Love New York. Riff Raff didn't seem to want to change, he just wanted the money. This season has a lot more G's who want to change for the better.I'm routing for Blue, who is homeless and gave up his bed in a shelter for this. But I hope Faheem stays around for awhile because I do a really good impression of him.

Top Chef - Crazy Carla - clap clap clap clap clap! That has been my anthem since day one. I loved Carla's kooky personality and her Hootie-Hoo's, but I never thought she'd make it to the final 3. I hope Carla takes it all because, compared to the other cheftestants, her food is the only one I'd want to eat. Her food always looks so hearty and delicious- something the other contestants lack. And poor Fabio went home. Granted, his cooking actually has been weak quite often, but he had the best personality. I mostly wanted Stefan gone because I am tired of the contrived Stefan vs. Hosea rivalry (which seems more one-sided- get over it Hosea!) I'm really excited for next week's finale and hope that when the cheftestants cook their 3 best dishes that they can really bring it.

Survivor - Another blindside! That's two in a row for those counting- and the show has only been on two weeks! Coach, whose intitial strategy was to eliminate the weak, only caved in after six days and decided to get rid of someone he found annoying, yet was physically strong. During the first five minutes of the show a CBS local news bulletin scrolled the bottom of the screen, removing the high definition transmission temporarily. It's not until they go back and forth between standard and HD that you realize how phenomenal Survivor looks now that it's shot in HD. It really is breathtaking. And Taj, the lady from SWV (Sisters with Voices!) who is married to a Heisman winner really should've thought out a better story about her husband, rather than flat out say who he was. While Survivor is about being out in the wild and surviving, money is a huge factor for most. Sadly, her target got a lot bigger way to early; if only she could've kept in a secret longer than six days.

America's Best Dance Crew - First off, I need to express a gripe I have about this week. The theme this week on ABDC was Boys Vs. Girls. The first crew danced to a Chris Brown song and the last group danced to a Rihanna song. I find this extremely poor timing and in bad taste. This show is filmed live and recent, it's not like it's from three months ago. Someone at the show or MTV should have expressed how low this was. No, back to the show.It's down to the final four squads, three of which are great. For some reason, Fly Khicks are still around, despite America not voting for them three weeks in a row. I just find their routines predictable and unoriginal. What pushed me over the edge of dislike was a few episodes ago where they performed with a wind machine. Really?? If you don't want to be perceived as the "sexy ladies" crew, then stop with the wind machine and booty-poppin'. The crew sent home this week was Strikers All Stars, which was disappointing as they were strong competitors all season but had a down night. Clearly the final two will be Quest Crew and Beat Freaks. I'd be perfectly happy with either crew winning because they have both been consistently excellent, but I'm leaning towards Beat Freaks to win, especially after last week's performance that infused magic. But Dominic and Hok, I still love you- you know I'm a loyal So You Think You Can Dance fan!

Well my friends, that was indeed a long post of the Reality Rundown. See you next week to talk more, including why I still can't stand Jason from The Bachelor, who makes the ABDC Finals, and who gets pitchy on this week's Idol.

February 15, 2009

SNL Skit of the Week: Wii Guys

2/15/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , 2 comments
A couple weeks ago I got a Nintendo Wii and it's perhaps the best investment I've made. But anyone who has played Wii has surely noticed using the controllers can sometimes be hilarious to watch. And so I give you this week's SNL skit of the week: Wii Guys.

February 14, 2009

Happy Valentines

2/14/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , 2 comments


Afterall, it is a recession. If you need me, I'll be scavenging the Valentine's aisle at Target for delicious treats 50% off.

February 12, 2009

The Last Meal

2/12/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served , 8 comments
I've become such a Top Chef addict. I didn't get into the show until maybe season 3 or 4, but I'm a full-blown addict now. I watch and re-watch episodes, read judge and contestant blogs, and occasionally pretend I have a decent palate and try to talk the talk of chefs (I'm more a baker). Last night was a great episode (and not just because my Crazy Carla made it to the final 4). This week had an interesting challenge, which was the cheftestants having to cook for some bigwigs in the culinary world. The twist? Each cheftestant was to cook the person's dream "last meal." At first, I thought it was kind of morbid and odd- I mean, who likes to think about dying and planning their last days on earth? But it really sparked conversation between the family. I didn't think I had a true favorite meal, something that could be the perfect ending to a hopefully long life (or, 72 years according to the Ouija board years ago). After much discussion, I decided I knew what my final meal would be.

My last, amazing meal would be the most delicious barbeque meal ever. I'd have a full rack of tender, juicy St. Louis ribs. For sides I'm carbo-loading with mashed red-garlic potatoes, dirty rice, a crisp corn on the cob, and a big slice of cornbread. I'd stuff my face with this amazing food and then try to save room for a huge slice of carrot cake (my recipe, of course). And I figured a nice tropical mixed drink would be good too- like a Mai Tai or this amazing drink I had in Florida called a "Cruzan Cheesecake."


After a meal like that, I think I could die happy and full. So, besides the morbid factor of pondering death, what would your last meal be?

February 11, 2009

The Skymall Game

2/11/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served 2 comments
A few weeks ago, my classy friend Nina posted on her blog about what I consider my favorite book: Skymall. My favorite part of flying is getting my window seat and then slowly going page through page and looking at all the amazing crap Skymall offers. So I've decided to steal Nina's Skymall Game and play it here.

The premise of the game is simple: What would I buy from SkyMall if money were no object?

Today, I decided to go with an item that isn't too expensive but I feel like if it were in my backyard it would be a conversation started and maybe a deterrent from someone robbing my house. So today my pick would be:

Photobucket
Big Foot Garden Sculpture
Price: $98.95

Look who's blogging now

2/11/2009 Posted by Mel Got Served 1 comment
Well, well, well... yes, I have joined the blogosphere. Encouraged by my boss to learn about blogging and to become more active on the "interweb" (as I call it), I've decided to start my blog. And I know what you're thinking: "Thank god, I've dreamt of hearing Melissa's opinions on everything." Yes, I know and that's why I am here- to make all of your dreams come true. So check back periodically for whatever I decide to talk about- TV, movies, viral videos, random lists and thoughts. So keep reading, leave comments, and tell everyone to come stop by. Stay tuned kids, hopefully I'll stay interesting.