Reality Rundown: The Manipulative Dorkopotamus

So You Think You Can Dance • Top Chef Masters • Big Brother

So You Think You Can Dance - The final 6 is a talented group, but there still are some hits and misses. Ade/Jeanine get a samba which was not so hot, but ace a hip hop routine by Nappytabs. Evan/Melissa have a Tyce Diorio Broadway routine which really lets them shine as a bride and groom on their wedding day, but also have a quick step which is OK but not up to par for a near-finale performance. Brandon/Kayla are paired and it's pure magic for both routines. Their contemporary about a man and his mistress is outstanding, and even disco (which I dread each week) was fun to watch. I'd say these 2 are a sho-in for the finale, but on the other hand, I don't know what America is really voting on anymore so guessing the bottom is so unpredictable. But if I have to guess, I'm going to say Melissa and Ade will go home... but we'll see! (Image from BuddyTV)

Elimination night! But first, we get to see all 4 routines from last season that were nominated for Emmys. Luckily, they are judging based on last year cause they were a wee bit sloppy. I am personally routing for Nappytabs "Bleeding Love" routine, but think Tyce Diorio will end up snagging the Emmy. The Jabbawockeez, winners of America's Best Dance Crew S1, perform and are mind boggling awesome as always. Onto to makes the Final 4! Jeanine and Brandon are told early into the episode that they are safe. Last 10 minutes: who will get picked? Kayla and Evan are safe! Poor Melissa and Ade, however they both had an amazing run. So everyone, who do you think will be America's Favorite Dancer? I'll make an early prediction of Brandon, but it's next week that counts. Leave your current picks in the comments. (Images from MSNBC.com)

Top Chef Masters - I didn't doze off this week during the episode! It's now the top 6, who won their qualifying episodes. For the Quickfire, it's the infamous "mise en place" relay, which essentially is the prep work. It's good times to watch since these are the head chefs and no longer have to do the little tasks, like chopping onions and whipping eggs. Hubert Kelly is deemed the winner and has a leg-up for the elimination challenge. But before the challenge, the host (Kelly?) asks each chef to prepare their signature dish to share in a meal with the other contestants. Everyone dines and has a good time- but of course there's a twist. Each chef now must replicate, but put their own spin, on a competitor's dish. Rick Bayless avoids his Mexican cuisine stereotype and really puts a nice spin on an Italian dish, but Anita Lo wins with what appears to be a delicious soup and lobster roll. Eliminated this week: Snooze-anne, who played too early and therefore sent out cold and slightly overcooked food. She bores me, so I'm A-OK with this! (Image from Reality Exploits)

Big Brother -Right off the bat Julie announces the obvious: cliques end tonight. Thank god! But wait, there's another secret twist and we'll have a deciding vote. But first, we catch up on the past few days in the house, which includes a very pissed of Casey in a banana suit. Casey tries to sway some others to vote for him to stay, particularly Russell, indicating that his targets are now set on Jessie and Ronnie. Other house stuff: Lydia continues her Emily Valetine streak and stares at Jessie while he sleeps and Jordan and Jeff's parents think they'd make a cute couple. Julie tries to stir up more drama in the Natalie/Jessie/Lydia triangle, but he keeps pretending it's nothing. It's almost time to vote, but first, pre-vote speeches. Casey gives maybe the best speech ever, calling Ronnie a "manipulative dorkopotamus with a God complex" and goes of on Jessie's vanity, self-centeredness, and says he has the IQ of a banana. Surprisingly Russell votes to keep Casey, but no one else does- Casey is evicted 7 to 1. NOOOO! Casey was my pick to win. It goes to show, there's only so much you can predict but guessing based on people's CBS.com profiles. While walking out the door, Casey calls out Jessie again for going against his word, and then Natalie keeps piping in. Casey yells at her saying she's not part of this conversation and his final words leaving the house are, "Go make Jessie a sandwich!" HAHA Ok, onto HOH competition. Julie announces the dissolution of the cliques, but makes the big secret twist statement, sort of: someone in the house will be given a secret power in the game, but only the person holding that power will know what it is, and America chooses which HG gets it. Julie tells the audience this power is the Coup D'Etat, which was created during the All Stars season, but never used. Whoever holds the Coup D'Etat has 2 weeks to use it and can overthrow 1 or both of the HOH's nominees for eviction. Clearly, Jordan or Jeff will get this; America hates everyone else. Unfortunately, this week's HOH competition is endurance and will last into the wee hours, so only feed watchers can see who wins... and I know who wins. Click to see the new HOH. (Image from CBS.com)

Buy This Now: Snuggie for Dogs

I have an odd fascination with Snuggies. They are so stupid, yet so amazing. I hear they aren't that warm and the Slanket is a better choice, but c'mon, name brand! Every time I pass one in a Walgreens or Target, I deeply ponder to myself if I should blow $15 on something so wasteful, yet so fantastic; I always stop myself. But clearly, keeping the humans warm while allowing mobility is not enough because now there are Snuggies FOR DOGS. I can only imagine the hilarity of my dog traipsing around the house in a Snuggie. Imagine the possibilities: as my dog wears his Snuggie to pee outside, I wear my Snuggie to hold his leash in the frigid cold. Like this old woman, I could continue to knit my dog a wonderful sweater, while he gnaws on a chew toy or something. Hey, at least it might keep him from licking himself! And don't just take my word for it, check out the video! (image from AdFreak)

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Reality Rundown: The Banana in a Pickle

The Next Food Network Star • Big Brother • The Bachelorette

The Next Food Network Star - The final 3 get to attend a private screening of the upcoming movie Julie & Julia, and then need to be inspired by this movie for their challenge. The stars will need to create a 3 course meal for a table of the culinary elite. Melissa decides to tap into her French pastry skills learned from her time in Paris, and she knocks it out of the park. Along with her delicious meal (with a slightly overcooked chicken), she candidly gives her life story including her mother's suicide, but she never seems like a Debbie Downer. Of the 3 finalists, Melissa is the one I want to get a show. Debbie taps again into her Korean meets Southern Soul and aces personality, but the food is so-so. Jeffrey only spends $300 of his $1,000 budget and makes what someone at the table calls the worst risotto he's ever had. Luckily, his scallop demo and dessert saved the day. At the judge's panel, it's a difficult choice but I believe the right decision was made. They need to pick someone viewers are going to tune into, so they eliminate Debbie. Next week: finale! Melissa FTW! (Image from FoodNetwork.com)

Big Brother - Jessie is the HOH (ugh) and since Ronnie didn't lie to him, Jessie has no intention of going along with the house's deal to get him out this week. Russell, who was torturing Ronnie, confesses it was an act and secretly approached Ronnie to explain this was to keep everyone off his path. Michelle doesn't know her place in the house, and pathetically approaches Jessie and Natalie, and it's hard to watch. If she left the house, I wouldn't bat an eye. Since there is only 1 member left of the Popular clique, only 1 person from each clique competes in this week's Have/Have Nots competition. The 3 get to ride around on little keg scooters and need to throw ioam ice cubes into the keg of another team; the team with the most ice cubes is "rewarded" with slop, cold showers, the crappy bedroom, and thanks to America's vote: cocktail weenies and cabbage. The Brains end up on Have Not status again, and Ronnie is so excited about cocktail weenies. This guy sucks: I have no other words. In showmance news, Lydia and Natalie both want Jessie's giant muscles. Also Natalie is selfish and refuses to share a bed (despite having a full while the others have twin) so this sets Lydia off. The love triangle is a brewin'! Jessie decides to nominate Michelle and Jordan for eviction, and gives no explanation as to why (haha). But Jessie has a plan up his sleeve, and it looks like he plans to backdoor my favorite HG (and my pre-show pick to win) Casey. We end the show with Ronnie in the DR bragging over Jessie pardoning him, and Ronnie, you are in for a rude awakening when you leave the house and find out America hates you. (Original screencap from wicktong at Hamster Time)

Tuesday is the Veto episode, and the house is abuzz because it seems that Ronnie the rat is back in the good graces of most of the house. This is indeed true and Jessie's plan is to backdoor my pick to win, Casey. Say it isn't so! To make matters worse, Casey is getting really pissed because during a game of Truth or Dare by the other side, Ronnie hugs Casey for 20 seconds which infuriates Casey. At the POV competition, the players need to dig around in a muddy pig pen for numbers and whoever has the highest wins. They can also dig up prizes, and gamble on a bonus envelope at the end. Jessie wins $2,500 and is the original leader. Casey decides to try to get on the house's good side and wins them a margarita party, but then his envelope informs him he will have to wear a banana suit for 1 week. How humiliating: he'll be backdoored in a banana costume. Nominee Michelle ends up winning the Veto to save herself and becomes aware that Casey is the target. Jeff gives Casey the heads up, so Casey confronts Jessie who says maybe the douchiest open-ended response yet: "The right person is going home." Jeeeerk alert! At the POV ceremony, Casey is told to switch is seat and is rightfull pissed that Ronnie the rat turned the house again. And we end on the usual Ronnie DR session professing his greatness and using another lame Star Wars reference. Thursday: eviction, a new HOH, and a shocking change in the game (which is obviously going to be the dissolving of the cliques). (Image from BuddyTV)

The Bachelorette - ABC kept hyping this as the most shocking finale yet, and I guess it was kinda shocking, but at the same time not. First, both guys get to meet Jillian's family and her dad seems smitten with Ed (who also asked for permission to marry her). Then the guys each get a 24 hour date with Jillian and yaaaawn- I just don't care anymore. Pre-final rose, the guys pick out rings and I don't care for either's selection, but of the 2 I prefer Kiptyn's. Unfortunately for Kiptyn, he's first out of the limo which is always the rejectee's slot; he's bummed and thought he was the winner. So then a van pulls up and out comes... REID! Yes, we knew this was coming. Reid professes his love for Jillian, saying he begged the producers to come back, and then proposes. Jillian now doubts her upcoming decision, but then decides she needs to go with how her heart felt first thing in the morning, and rejects Reid again. I am so disappointed- poor Reid gets heartbroken twice! Ed shows up, asks if she loves him too (she does), and he proposes. After the Reid turmoil, it's hard to be happy for the engagement. I used to be a big Ed supporter but after he left and returned it seemed so set up. New Sullivan family theory: Jillian knew from the beginning she'd pick Ed, so the producers and have Ed go away for dramatic effect, he returns- ratings gold. Second theory: Ed really left and the producers told him he needed to come back because Jillian knew he was the one. My backup for this is that Trista, the 1st Bachelorette and only success story, has said that she knew very early on it was always going to be Ryan and no one else. Again, this is me spitaballin'. So, any bets on how long this will last?

After the Final Rose! Another hour to drag on the drama. We get an update from Melissa Rycroft who is engaged, doing fine, and glad her and Jason are over. Rejected suitors Kiptyn and Reid return and reunite with Jillian for the first time. Kiptyn seems OK, but Reid- not so much. He's clearly still in love with her, heartbroken, and doesn't really have questions for her since it seems like her mind couldn't be changed. He does get in a good zing about the fantasy suites though. What I gathered from this conversation: maybe if Reid said he loved her earlier he would've stayed around to final 2, but I think her mind was always set on Ed. And if this sad Reid isn't the biggest set-up to the next Bachelor, I don't know what is (yet on ABC.com, boring pilot Jake has the lead. I picked breakdancing Michael!) Jillian and Ed have their official "we're together" announcement and she can finally wear her ring. They are moving in together in Ed's place in Chicago (Casey and Pat- you are on official Jillian/Ed watch) and ready to start doing normal couple things like friends' weddings, family reunions, etc. Marriage in the next year is their plan, saying they rushed engagement, why not marriage? I say: prove it. Improve the show's track record. So they do seem very happy and I'll try to ignore the rumors that Ed had a girlfriend before the show, etc. But I should say, even though I wavered in my favorites, I did call very early on that Ed would make it very far- so hooray for my instinct! (Images from ABC.com)

Getting Served a Mad Men Makeover

Mad Men is by far one of the best shows on TV, and what I also adore about the show is the style of the 60s. The fashion, the cool gadgets, the colors... it's all so awesome. And for the past year or so, I've been following this amazing artist, Dyna Moe, who has a created a collection called Mad Men Illustrated. Finally AMC pounced on her talent and had her create my new favorite time waster: MadMenYourself.com. Using Dyna Moe's unique artistic stylish, you're able to turn yourself into into a Sterling Cooper star. Check out me below, hobnobbing with Don Draper with a takeout cup of coffee while he drinks Scotch.

Serving of the Week

Name: Ronnie, Big Brother 11

SERVED: Usually the person getting SERVED is the evictee on a show, not the Head of Household who's calling the shots. Ronnie the Rat's lies finally caught up with him this week and revenge was sweet (well, for a few hours). After trying to set himself up for safety next week by playing the 2 sides against each other, all of Ronnie's lies were exposed. Laura, the HG eliminated this week, calls Ronnie out on lies he created after he and Laura had a private discussion where she allegedly tried to save herself and claimed Russell had the votes to save her. Then Russell calls him out too for throwing him under the bus and being a liar too (this is a 2nd time- days before, Ronnie considered nominating Russell for eviction but got away with it by placing blame on others). Even his alliance hates him now! So busted, so SERVED. Watch parts 1 and 2 of the blow-up that happened at about 3am- it's so worth it to see someone get SERVED for gaming to hard and being a lying rat. Best part? Jeff in part 2 hilariously yelling up to Ronnie "Romeo, oh Romeo!" and accusing Ronnie's picture of his cat of being fake- HAHAHA. Sorry Ronnie, but you got SERVED by the BB HGs.

Thing someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

Movie Scene Sunday: The Usual Suspects

If you haven't seen The Usual Suspects you're missing out on one of the greatest endings in cinema history. Besides the amazing ending, I love this week's Movie Scene Sunday pick, which is when 5 suspects are put into a line-up together and told to repeat a phrase that was used at the scene of the crime (Beware of foul language!) Everyone has a unique take on the infamous phrase, making the scene hilarious and extremely catchphrase worthy. If I bump into you this Sunday or really any day, I'd expect this as a greeting.

Reality Rundown: What the 'Ell is America Thinking?

So You Think You Can Dance • Top Chef Masters • Big Brother • The Fashion Show

So You Think You Can Dance - This week is all about celebrating SYTYCD's 100th episode, so they get dancing expert Ellen Degeneres to guest judge along with Mia. Ok, so Ellen knows zip about dance, but she's hilarious, comparing dancing to wine and making a lot of carpentry/nailing jokes. Evan/Janette are paired together and unfortuantely, Janette is amazing as always, but Evan is meh. Nigel finally brings up Evan's droopy eyes, which is hilarious. Brandon/Jeanine have a slow waltz that's too slow for the judges, but then an insanely awesome pop jazz number by 1st time SYTYCD choreographer Laurie Ann Gibson, who I know from the Diddy shows. Kayla/Jason are great in both numbers, especially a zombie hip hop by Shane. Melissa/Ade are re-paired and at first, I thought they were in trouble; their samba was pretty bad, but their second number is phenomenal. Tyce Diorio created a contemporary piece about a woman battling breast cancer, and I will admit it made me cry. Emotional story, amazing dance, moving song- you can't help it! It was hands down one of the best pieces ever done on the show. I can't even predict who will go home for the women, but I think it's got to be the end of the road for Evan sadly. (Image from BuddyTV)

100th episode! Let's recap the fun stuff before the bottom 4 that blew my mind. The show opens with a Mia Michaels routine to "One" from A Chorus Line and right off the bat, I'm sucked in because I'm such a Chorus Line fan. Thee 2 dances that previously won Emmys get to perform again (Hok/Jamie's (S3) Hummingbird and Flower, and Travis/Heidi (S2) Bench routine). The best number is the reuniting of the S2 top 8 along with choreographer Wade Robson to perform his piece Ramalama. But the biggest of them all: Katie Holmes "dances." Yes, while a bunch of guys do tons of choreographer, she stands there, bops around, and gets lifted. Hardly the impressive dancing they've been teasing all season. But the fun is tarnished when they announce the bottom 4. Janette and Kayla are the 2 girls, and I'm shocked; Janette is probably the top girl for me, and I blame short Evan for this. Speaking of Evan, he's safe. I KNOW. The bottom 2 guys: Jason and Brandon. Including Brandon in the bottom absolutely blew my mind, as I was saying to people that to me Brandon was the only person I would guarantee safety. America voted and the eliminated dancers are... Janette and Jason. NOOOO- not Janette! Nigel also admits Janette was his favorite to win and that America got it wrong. I guess I can't complain too much, as I don't vote, but America- you angered me tonight! At least Brandon is still in it. My 2 favorites for the win: Brandon and Jeanine. (Image from MSNBC.com)

Top Chef Masters - For the Quickfire, the chefs draw knives with a number of them; that number corresponds to an aisle at Whole Foods and their entire meal must be composed of items from that aisle (and only $20 to spend). Seafood chef Michael Cimarusti thinks he's screwed when he gets the baking aisle, but ends up getting 5 stars. For the elimination challenge, the chefs get to create a mystery box of ingredients for another chef, and then will create a dish with these ingredients. Instead of sabotaging each other, the camaraderie is amazing and they all want to make each other shine. I could talk about everyone, but let's go right to the winner. Art Smith, most known for cooking for Oprah, prays he'll get chicken... and he does. He makes a two delicious takes on fried chicken and wins this episode, even if the judges found it too close to his comfort zone. (Image from BravoTV.com)

Big Brother - Ronnie's double-agent duties catch up to him- finally! Laura and Ronnie talk in the HOH room and she accepts she's going home but does offer to be an ally for him and promises him safety. Ronnie then says he could easily persuade Natalie, Chima, Kevin, and Lydia to save her. Laura leaves the room, and Ronnie brings up the others and decides to throw this plan at them... but blame it all on Russell in case it backfires. Natalie tells this to Jessie, Jessie tells Russel, and then shizz goes down! Laura and Russell call out Ronnie for all his manipulation; the house has been so divided since day 1 because of Ronnie's lies. It's an awesome fight and trust me, it will get more coverage on this blog on Monday (I think you regular readers can get a hint of who is getting SERVED!) After all the drama, the house is more united, and Ronnie has locked himself away in the HOH room, forced to live off his HOH basket of candy and his tears. Of course, Russell isn't having it so whenever Ronnie leaves the room, he tortures him- good times! Natalie tells Julie Chen the house is united in their votes, then decides to stir up the pot and votes to evict Jordan, while the other 8 HGs vote out Laura. The HOH competition is to launch a ball into some cups and whoever gets the highest score wins. Jessie and Jeff both get 6, so they have a tiebreaker and I'm praying for Jeff to win- please, for us feed watchers, don't torture us. Frak... Jessie wins HOH, I'm livid, my fellow feed-watchers are livid, and the game continues to boringly pick off one side of the house one-by-one. Worst part: my pick to win, Casey, is a prime target for eviction. (Screencap from WickedTong at HamsterTime.com)

The Fashion Show - It's finally over! Well, not so fast- yes Bravo can't get it through their heads that no one liked this show and drags out the results over an hour long reunion. I can't believe I watched this series- so long, so dull towards the end. Good thing I barely watched any of the reunion! What I did see: they showed the decoy collections of Merlin and Johnny, that were designed so that the press couldn't leak the finalists (as if anyone gave a crap). Merlin's was horrible, I mean, god awful. Johnny's was cool I guess. America is PO'd Reco was eliminated and threatened to boycott the vote. Reco claims he's not bitter about being eliminated, but still rants about it. In the end, Anna wins with 56% of the vote. She gets $125,000 , her clothes will be sold on BravoTV.com, and no one will remember her since no one watched this show. Is it Project Runway time yet? (Image from BravoTV.com)

Reality Rundown: Pulling a Mesnick

The Next Food Network Star • Big Brother • The Bachelorette

The Next Food Network Star - Still in Miami, the stars are appearing on a morning TV show but they've rigged each segment to have problems, like wrong food, no utensils, the host is a jerk, etc. Debbie does her segment with ease, making it seems like these bumps in the road are simple. Jameka and Melissa struggle, while Jeffrey is "ehhh." Next Iron Chef winner Michael Symon is a guest judge this week and explains the next challenge: each will have to create a fish dish with a shellfish side dish on a wooden grill. Winner's dish will appear on the Red Lobster menu. I don't have Red Lobster here so I'll have to spend my whole life dreaming and wondering. But there's a catch! Since the stars seem to rely on similar styles and flavor palettes each week, Bobby Flay switches some of the items. Jeffrey pleases the crowd and wins a spot on the menu, Melissa aces it with habernero peppers, Debbie skips one of her new Mediterranean ingredients and makes an excuse, and Jameka is flustered and pissed at her lack of pineapple. While the judges are again sick of Debbie's excuses, Jameka's inability to cope with challenges on the fly eliminates her from the final 4. And I'm glad because the personality they've always been raving about has never been apparent to me... but I do love pineapple. (Image from FoodNetwork.com)

Big Brother - Ronnie the Rat is HOH and thinks the side he betrayed isn't onto his hinky vote, but he's just plain stupid (Laura is onto him most, which scares Ronnie). Ronnie gets his HOH room (I saw this live on the feeds) and it's... weird. His basket includes the usual treats and sweets, but he asked for a giant bubble wand and Playdough and gets excited like a 5 year old. And his CD? Legally Blonde: The Musical (well actually, on the feeds he noticed they accidentally gave him the film's soundtrack, so he'll deal). Part the show hilariously omitted: when Ronnie told all the HGs that his wife's eyes make her look like Denise Richards; the room went silent. The next day, the HGs compete in a luxury competition, hosted by BB10 winner Dan (who sent Jessie out the door last season), and a male and female will get to see a sneak preview screening of The Awful Truth- wonderful. The game is fun, having HGs vote on a "Which would they choose?" question about each HG, accompanied by fun costumes (not fun: Ronnie is a Princess Leia gold bikini). Chima is an a-hole the whole time about it, so of course she wins it. Casey is the male winner and is excited for the movie, but not excited for Chima. Also, the 2 of them get to decide what clique to make the have nots and Chima won't listen to Casey at all and makes the Populars starve for the week. Ronnie keeps playing both sides, claiming to the cool group (Casey, Jeff, Laura, Michelle, Jordan) that he plans to backdoor Russell, but everyone is skeptical. Ronnie decides to put up Laura (his target) and Jeff (his "pawn") and if you watch feeds, you know these are fun people to watch, and losing them eventually will lead to one jerk-infested house. (Screencap from Peeps at RealityBBQForums.com)

On Tuesday's episode, Russell starts ragin' in the house- screaming at Lydia, etc. Lydia approaches Ronnie about it and it seems the plan to backdoor Russell could work and have the votes needed. At the POV competition, the 6 HGs playing will have to collect coins in a 2 minute time frame to come closest to a designated amount. Jeff uses a great strategy of determining how much is in a handful, and then figuring out how many handfuls he needed. Ronnie was a complete moron and grabbed coins and estimated how many were in a bank roll; he was eliminated first. Jeff wins the POV (beating Russell) and can now take himself off the block. What the show fails to show is that Ronnie had promised both Casey and Jordan that he wouldn't put them on the block, then spent 2 days trying to justify nominating them. After Jessie strong-arms him, Ronnie who was going to "make waves" with his eviction nominates Jordan of all people. He knows Laura is onto him but she's not taking this lying down- and boy, has it gotten good on the feeds! (Image from BuddyTV)

The Bachelorette - It's the Men Tell All reunion special, aka drag the season out one more episode. It's mostly recaps of the season, never before seen clips, and praising the perfectness of boring Jake. If boring Jake becomes the next yet ladies find him Mary Poppins "practically perfect in every way" charming. The 2 hours is also used to largely discussing crazy Dave, his anger, and inappropriate date with Jillian. Oh and Jason and Molly return to discuss their love and Jason still annoys me, so I don't care. Some funny outtakes included a completely wasted Ed and Jillian takes a snowball to the head. And since Wes didn't show up, the guys just get to debate his presence on the show behind his back, and I just don't care anymore. The best part of the whole episode is when the other Tanner without a foot fetish tells pilot Jake that he "pulled a Mesnick." Pulling a Mesnick is when a grown man cries while leaning on a hotel railing. AHAHAHA- genius. While it was an entertaining reunion, nothing mind blowing... until next week's finale preview. That's because Reid returns... with a ring!! Can't wait- Reid FTW!! (Original images from EudieTuesday and BluntDelivery)

"Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret" as read by Will Arnett

Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret is a book that every tween girl reads to learn about growing up, and then considers kinda dirty even if it's just the truth behind growing up and becoming a woman. Then you re-read it later in life and laugh a lot at the book and Margaret's weird diary entries about her life entering puberty (just ask Nina- we used to read passages to each other in high school for a hysterically good time). Getting a chuckle at this book is the case in this clip where the hilarious Will Arnett from Arrested Development reads an excerpt of the book on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I might have to go home and read this book again, but this time in the ominous Will Arnett voice.

Buy Me Now: Three Moon Keyboard Cat

Unless you live under an interweb rock, you would know Keyboard Cat has rocked our nation to its core of awesomeness. It was only time until he invaded fashion; yes, there is a shirt and it is amaaaazing. And yes, I just bought it- how could I pass this up? Inspired by the majestic beauty of the Three Wolf Moon t-shirt, someone created a beautiful mesh of two different forms of art and created what is the best shirt I may ever own (besides my Panama City "Spoiled Rotten by my Grandpa" or Stay Golden shirts). It's in such high demand that UPDATE: they've decided to print it ASAP due to high volume demand. Keyboard Cat is my idol and I must showcase him to the world.

Buy Now at Threadless!

Serving of the Week

Name: Jon Gosselin

SERVED: Way back, I didn't really want to get into the Gosselin divorce on the blog. As of late, the time has come. I think a lot of people (myself included) sided with Jon when the divorce happened because Kate seems like a real demanding, over-controlling witch. Well, it turns out ex-hubbie Jon is a total d-bag. He spent this past week in St. Tropez with the leader of all d-bags, Christian Audigier, who is the designer for Ed Hardy, which you know is my mortal nemesis. While in St. Tropez I'm sure they drank plenty of d-bag water while making "business plans" or whatever. But to make this even skeezier, Jon brought his new dimepiece: a 22 year old who the daughter of the doctor that gave Kate her tummy tuck. Jon, you are such a skeeze. While I once sympathized with his situation of an unhappy marriage and being forced to play out his life on TV (since he claimed to hate the fame), but now you seem like a real skuzzy guy who barely let the ink dry on the divorce filing before skipping off to France and ditching the so-called kids you adore. You sir have been SERVED in my book. SERVED for playing the victim when now I question all along if you've been pulling these shenanigans on the side. (Original image from Dlisted)

Thing someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

Movie Scene Sunday: Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Next time you do a family blessing before a meal, take a cue from Ricky Bobby of Talladega Nights and make sure to use a lot of odd metaphors and of course, product placement. I'm sure if you too mention KFC a few times a free bucket of chicken will one day show up on your doorstep.

Reality Rundown: A Giant Rats Wins HOH

So You Think You Can Dance • Top Chef Masters • Big Brother • The Fashion Show

So You Think You Can Dance - Now that we're in the Top 10, the pairs rotate each week by a random drawing from a hat. Tall Kayla pulls tiny Evan, and have an "ehh" Viennese Waltz. Janette/Ade rock as a Funk Doctor helping a the hapless in a Nappytabs hip hop routine. SYTYCD Season 2 runner-up, Travis Wall, gets to choreograph for the first time and he gets 2 amazing contemporary dancers: Jeanine and Jason. Finally able to showcase their talents now that their former partners were eliminated, the piece was brilliant and hands down, my fave of the season. Unfortunately, after fantastic comes awful, and that is Randi/Kupono's paso doble. The dancing was almost as bad as the creepy wig Randi wore for dramatic effect. Ending the pairs were Brandon and Melissa with a Broadway number to "Aquarius" from Hair, and I loved this one too. Each contestant also performed a solo and a group routine. The 5 girls did dazzling Bollywood, while the boys were tasked with the extremely complex African. All did well, but clearly Evan stuck out as the White Shadow of the group. I don't know if they'll do bottom 2 or 3, but here's a bottom 2 prediction: Randi/Kupono and Kayla/Evan.

Results show! No Nigel tonight, he's receiving an honorary degree at some British University. Good for him, but onto the good stuff! Bottom 2 girls: Randi and Melissa. Melissa?! America, you are insane. Bottom 2 guys: Kupono and Ade. America, are you smoking dance crack? Melissa and Ade are 2 of the best dancers there! It has to be a personality thing, like they aren't as outgoing as the others. In the end, Randi and Kupono rightfully go home after the awful paso doble. Both are talented dancers, but sometimes the dance you pull can be the death of you. (Images from BuddyTV)

Top Chef Masters - For the Quickfire, the 4 chefs need to make fine cuisine out of junk food. The judges for this challenge are Jeff Lewis and the Flipping Out gang, so this makes me uber excited. I am a huge Flipping Out fan, so just to see insane Jeff ripping on people is worth it. One dude doesn't even finish he corndog dish in 45 minutes so gets a big ol' 0, but the winner is some dude named Michael Chiarello that looks so familiar. The elimination challenge is to create a 3 course meal for 100 guests- so 300 plates. Luckily, it's not a full meal but h'or doerves, and the 3 dishes must be based on the 3 components of a full meal: appetizer, entree, and dessert. Some Swedish dude wows the judges with his 1st 2 courses, but makes a nasty dessert. Familiar Michael Chiarello wins the whole episode for making delicious dishes and taking a risk (basil gelato? eww) (Image from BravoTV.com)

Big Brother - Elimination live show! Preggo Julie Chen looks good this week, and at last has learned body glitter is not her friend. As I've been watching the feeds, what originally started as a no way to save Braden week, becomes extremely close. Ronnie the Rat is playing both sides and will need to choose. They show an extremely edited down version of a fight between Braden, Lydia, and Kevin. Braden confronted Lydia about throwing him under the bus, but in the heat of anger, called Kevin a "beaner" (btw, Kevin is not Mexican). But race is something BB doesn't want to get in to and cuts it out. Well in the nominees final speech, Chima calls out Braden, pointing out what he called Kevin but also a time Braden called Julie Chen a whore and that anyone who votes for Braden supports a racist. The audience is baffled, Julie is probably pissed, and her husband Les Moonves runs CBS and must be furious. Ronnie ends up forcing the tie (5-5) and Jessie sends Braden out. The HOH competition is some lame, completely obvious trivia about the cliques and no one was smart enough to eliminate Ronnie early on and that rat-weasel wins HOH. Ronnie's such a moron and wants to be with the athletes. Ronnie, you're such a cliche. Everyone knows that in high school, athletes use the nerds to do their homework and their dirty work, but they're not your friends. (Original image from CBS.com)

The Fashion Show - Dear god, 2 weeks left. The final 4 return after an undisclosed amount of time with 10 outfits to present in a final fashion show. America will vote for the winner, but the catch is only 3 will be eligible; after the runway, the judges will eliminate one designer. Daniella makes an androgenous collection inspired by second skin, which is very fashion forward. Reco makes looks that impress audience guests from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but has a few decent looks. Anna makes a lot of excellent outfits, but not a cohesive collection. James-Paul pulls a Debbie Downer card and makes his collection based on indigenous countries wearing western fashion; it's very interesting, but no one would buy this shizz. In the end, Reco's collection is considered the weakest and he's out. Sadly for him, I think he would've won because no person watching is going to vote for the season's villain, the chick no one remembers, or the space cadet. (Image from BravoTV.com)

Reality Rundown: How Do You Spell Technotronics?

Big Brother • The Next Food Network Star • The Bachelorette

Big Brother - Sunday's episode continues the Jessie returns cliffhanger, and it's mixed emotions about him being in the game again, but since he's HOH, everyone is azz-kissing. I'm a live feed watcher, so I fear Ronnie is going to get a saintly edit when in reality he is the most annoying HG in there (well, tied with pretending-to-be 18 Natalie). Ronnie proposes an alliance to Jessie between the Brains and Athletes, claiming no one would suspect it. Really? Cause that seems like the most cliche move in the book. The HGs participate in the 1st Have/Have Not competition, which replaces the food competitions. The HOH and his clique are in the In Crowd and have full food privileges, but the clique that comes in last place in the competition live off slop and have to sleep in this awful room that looks like an insane asylum. The competition is pretty sweet- it's like a giant rave with glow paint, making the HGs connect pipes to move glowing liquid from one end to another. Ronnie and his bloated belly, takes leadership and the Brains fail miserably and become Have Nots. Despite wanting big-booby Laura out for being a waste of BB space, Jessie nominates Chima (as a pawn to defer attention from the Brain/Athlete alliance, but we know pawns always go home) and Lydia (who his clique sees as a threat). (Image by GMan from JokersUpdates)

Tuesday: POV episode! After nominations, Lydia whines, complains, and then throws her friends under the bus to save herself. She seems to be getting a good edit, considering she spent 70% of the days after the ceremony crying. The POV competition make the 6 players involved dig into giant pimples filled with letter tiles to spell the longest word. Most take the strategy of thinking of a word and then searching for letters, while self-dubbed "Love Muscle" Russell opts to find as many letters and then make a word. This strategy works as Russell wins with "shotgun." The hilarious part comes from Athlete Jeff who attempts to spell the word "technotronics," which is a ridiculous word and could have had "tectonics" and won (needless to say, everyone thinks he threw it). Russell later decides to get under Jeff's skin by insulting him, starting an awesome fight which the show edited down losing all the extra awesomeness. I saw it live on the feeds and it was so great- Jeff is a swearing machine who goes off on Russell and Jessie's lapdog Natalie and I love it. Meanwhile, Lydia convinces Russell that Braden is the mastermind in this game (yes, the guy who got a Zoolander montage earlier in the episode), which scares Russell and his alliance. Nerdo Ronnie then spills it to Braden and his people, claiming in his Diary Room (DR) interview that he wants to be an asset to everyone (and Russell is pissed about the leak). Ronnie is so annoying and talks game 24/7 in the house- weasel! At the POV Ceremony, Russell removes Lydia from the block and Jesse replaces her with Braden the supergenius. And since Chima is a pawn, it looks like BB11's Spicolli is heading back to wherever he came from. (Image by JJMtl from JokersUpdates)

The Next Food Network Star - The stars head to JFK Airport to hop on a flight to Miami, but are stopped with a challenge. Each star is assigned a different restaurant in the terminal and will need to create an dish for that menu; best dish will be a permanent feature there. Jeffrey wins with this delicious looking bruschetta topped with an egg- mmm! In sunny Miami, the stars receive their next task: cater a party with appetizers and a cocktail, and each star must make 2 dishes. Melissa gets angry that no one even considers a vegetarian dish, so she takes on 3. Debbie aka Margaret Cho is appointed the expeditor, but she is too busy focusing on her 2 dishes to help plate others (Jeffrey is the host, and Michael is the bartender, so their teammates have to plate their dishes). This means Melissa did 5 dishes, while Jameka did 4... and Debbie did 2. Debbie tries to play the "woe is me" act and the judges don't appreciate it. Unfortunately, Michael's delightful and infectious personality can't keep him in this week, with bad food and openly admitting he sucks on camera. (Image from FoodNetwork.com)

The Bachelorette - I had a DVR issue and missed the 1st half hour, but that doesn't seem to matter because it's all about Ed this week. Ed and Jillian continue to make out just about every where they are, and then he (aka the producers) flew out his parents to meet Jillian, and Ed's dad cries tears of joy for his son. In the fantasy suite, the show gets softcore porn-ish with Jillian and Ed rubbing massage oil all over each other. But then, the mood goes sour in the boudoir, with Jillian saying she didn't feel the chemistry she wanted. I don't get it, since they spent the entire day practically doin' it all over Maui, yet are having bedroom issues? Um, perhaps you should've asked the camera crew to leave? This worries Jillian, who says she's falling for all 3. Kiptyn and her went on a ropes course, and I don't know what she did with Reid, but he makes her laugh and that's something she wants. Pre-Rose Ceremony, Jillian gets to see videos from the guys and only Ed flat out says he loves her, while the other 2 make comments about seeing a future. I think it's pretty insane Jillian wants these guys to say they love her when she's not even in love with them yet. She pulls Ed aside to address their Fantasy Suite issue, but this chemistry speedbump doesn't sway her; she keeps Ed. Jillian denies a rose to my personal favorite, Reid, because he has a hard time conveying his feelings to her. Blah. I know, I used to love Ed, but that has changed as of late. For someone with so much personality and wanting to laugh, Jillian has 2 big dullards on her hands. Next week: the Men Tell All Special! And in 2 weeks: finale! (Image from BuddyTV)

Serving of the Week

Name: Johnny from The Fashion Show

SERVED: On this past week's episode of The Fashion Show, the designers were tasked to design an evening gown for the red carpet. Johnny, who seemed to be over being on this show for about 6 weeks, decided to be "inspired" by a leopard print dress worn by Maggie Gylenhaal. I guess in Johnny's mind inspiration meant plagiarism and he made almost an exact replica of the original dress, at least changing the color and the design slightly. But he also then tried to throw some of the blame onto his assistant, which is so low; take responsibility! Fashion is all about originality and taking from another designer is a no-no. The judges were on the fence between eliminating Johnny or an extremely ugly dress from James Paul, but Johnny was SERVED an elimination. I feel like of bad for him, because previously he had some amazing designs, but unfortunately I just have to SERVE this copycat- even if it was a one-off instance. (Original image from BuddyTV)

Thing someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

Movie Scene Sunday: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

The greatest school project presentation ever courtesy of Bill & Ted.

Reality Rundown: 1-800-Fan-Friggin'-Tastic

The Next Food Network Star • The Bachelorette • So You Think You Can Dance •
Top Chef Masters • New! Big Brother • The Fashion Show

The Next Food Network Star - The aspiring FN stars' first task is to create a kid-friendly dish using nasty ingredients which include brussel sprouts, squid, and tofu. There's no winner selected, but Greek God Jeffrey seems to have been deemed best. And next, it's Rachael Ray talk show time! The chefs are paired up and they will do a live 5 minute cooking demo on The Rachael Ray Show. This is great for viewers, because we don't have to hear Rachael's raspy voice for 15 minutes. Melissa/Flamboyant Mike are shadows of themselves, but the food is good. Debbie/Katie do well as a team, but Katie's bulging eyes kill me. Jeffrey/Jameka are just off from the first second, and Jameka freezes in the demo, plus the food stinks. Jameka feels this has been a challenging week, letting her poor performance in the kid-friendly challenge get to her. But Katie did crummy in her 2 demos (one being extremely condescending) and her food always stinks. I think the saying is like 7 strikes and you're out, so Katie is finally sent away. Next week: Miami! (Image from FoodNetwork.com)

The Bachelorette - Jillian takes her beaus off to Spain for some fun, food, and fantasy suites! Or really, a bunch of rooms some poor production assistants spent hours lighting candles and finding roses for and then Jillian doesn't use them. That's right- 3 of the 4 dudes do not get to experience the Fantasy Suites. I think Jillian's decision makes sense, and it shows she's taking this love stuff seriously- but bummer for Fantasy Suites. However, Ed does get to use the Fantasy Suite with Jillian, but they use the time together to catch up on all the time lost when he left. To sum up the other dates: Kiptyn gets to fandango or something like that and is a snooze, and Reid gets a picnic and a lot of PDA. And of course there's Wes. The date lacks any PDA (shocking!), and at dinner Wes fesses up that is it was his manager's idea for him to do the show, and confesses the girlfriend thing. At the Rose Ceremony, Jillian is finally not a moron and gets rid of Wes, who then gives a great post-elimination limo ride. In the limo, Wes gets pretty trashed and brags about being the 1st guy to get to the final 4 with a girlfriend, make fun of the other guys, and spill booze on himself. Now, before I was all for Ed to be the winner, but I'm starting to love Reid. Reid for the win! (Image from BuddyTV)

So You Think You Can Dance -It's one of the most important nights yet: it's the last round before the Top 10, plus each pair will do 2 routines. Getting into the Top 10 is crucial because 1. America is the sole decision maker going forward and 2. the dancers get to go on tour. Who is definitely making that tour? Brandon/Janette who were flawless with an Argentinian Tango and Wade Robson jazz piece. They were so good, I kid you not, my puppy stopped playing with his chew toy and stared at the screen. And to confirm it was because of the dance, I rewound twice and he stated everytime. If Schroeder likes it, it's good. Melissa/Ade also are sho-ins, but I thought their disco was only OK (judges loved it). Evan/Randi were better in their hip hop than their samba, but are both likable dancers. While Kayla/Kupono did well in their contemporary number, I still think they'll be in the bottom. Face it- America doesn't dig this pairing (I'm leaning towards the America dislikes Kayla theory). Also likely to be on America's shizz-list: Caitlin/Jason. They have zero chemistry=- watching them is so dull, and I think the viewers don't care much for Caitlin either. Philip/Jeanine did well with an easy Russian Folk routine followed by a Jive, but I feel he's holding her back. But here's the other fun part about Top 10: the partners rotate! So next week, I think Jeanine will be able to shine much more. Bottom 3 prediction: Philip/Jeanine, Caitlin/Jason, Kayla/Kupono. (Image from BuddyTV)

Results show! The bottom 3 end up being Philip/Jeanine, Caitlin/Jason, and Melissa/Ade. WHAAAAAAT? I'm pretty shocked Kayla/Kupono made the cut because I thought personality might matter more. Nigel takes time to explain how eliminations work and really it's not "Who should go home", rather "Who do we want to keep here longer?" It's pretty clear Caitlin is going home, even before dancing for their lives. But who of the boys will leave? While Philip is amazing at his own style, picking up the other genres isn't as easy for him so he is eliminated, leaving with an inspiring speech about following your dreams. But good news: Caitlin and Philip will both get to go on tour, so it will be Top 12 rather than 10 to pay $50 to see live. (Images from MSNBC)

Top Chef Masters - Have to admit: I don't love Masters as much as the real Top Chef; in fact, I dozed off for 15 minutes in the middle and had to rewind. But I shall still watch for you readers! For the Quickfire, the chefs have to showcase their egg cooking talent with one arm behind their back. NYC chef Anita Lo wins the Quickfire with 5 stars, while John Besh and his raw egg from Louisiana sets a new low with 1/2 star- ouch. For the elimination challenge, they cook for Neil Patrick Harris (!!) and his magician friends at the Magic Castle; and yes, Ed Alonzo aka Max from Saved by the Bell is present. Each chef is assigned a magical term to theme their dish around. Mark Peel of LA gets "Mystery" so uses a French technique that cooks the dish in paper bags or something- it's tres cool. Josh Besh has "Surprise" so makes sorbet at the table like a magic trick. Anita Lo was given "Illusion" so she makes her plate look like a beach, and hides a steak tartare in something that looks like a scallop. And the guy who got "Spectacle" makes a hot mess of a dish. Mark Peel takes the early lead, despite a poor Quickfire performance, but Anita Lo's dish captivated the diners and she wins the episode. I end the episode still thinking John Besh looks like the long-lost father of Beans Aranguren. (Images from Super Chef Blog and The Oregon Herald: The Real Deal)

New! Big Brother - 12 new houseguests enter what is a Goin' Green themed house. Most rooms are pretty sleek, but one room is a doozy: it looks like an indoor pool, including a slide and the beds have inflatable rafts on them. As long as there are sheets, I'd want that room- it would be memorable! The case is a lot more diverse (read: kind homelier) than usual. Why? Because they are being split into 4 cliques, ala high school: Populars, Athletes, Braniacs, and Offbeats. Personality wise, I think the Offbeats are my favorite (and my pick to win, Casey, is in that clique)... until a twist occurs. There will be 13 houseguests this season, and what ever clique wins the first competition will get this new player added to their clique and this newbie will the the Head of Household (HOH). Turns out, the 13th houseguest is someone who has played before and fits into the clique. And when they reveal who could re-enter the game, I crap myself in fear. Cowboy (BB5), one of the most annoying houseguests in history, is the Offbeat representative. I pray the Offbeats lose. I am routing for the Braniacs or Populars, because they have Brian (BB10) and Jessica (BB8) who I didn't mind before. Bodybuilder/idiot Jessie (BB10) is playing for the Athletes. Now the competition: the houseguests (HGs) will be suspended in the air holding onto a toilet seat, while receiving massive wedgies. Good times! After mucho suspense, the Athletes win and Jessie gets another shot at Big Brother. I don't love Jessie, but anything beats Cowboy. (Image from CBS.com)

The Fashion Show - 5 are left- has this show been on forever? First challenge has the contestants showcasing their draping skills and Daniella wins again. For a young designer fresh out of school, she's really impressive. Elimination challenge: design a red carpet dress utilizing Swarovski crystals. They each get help in the form of a previously eliminated designer and they all seem so shocked by this. Have any of them watched a reality show before? The losers always return to help. Daniella takes a risk by using a smoky gray fabric, while Anna tries to use a bold floral print. James Paul plays it safe, but really, it looks so old and dated. Johnny, who just seems better than everything in fashion, is so not into red carpet but gets "inspired" by a dress Maggie Gyllenhal wore once... so inspired that it's 99% the exact same dress. The judges have to decide which is a greater crime: a hideous dress or plagiarizing. Luckily, Johnny is sent home for being a copycat (and by the way, this isn't the first time they've questioned if his designs looked too similar to the original). Next week: FINALLY! I mean, finale. (Images from BravoTV.com and Pop Culture Nerd)

Water for Douchebags

I was on one of my favorite blogs this morning, USA Today's Pop Candy, and found this startling link in her Early Buzz links. Here's the thing: we all need water to live, but let's be honest... there isn't a bottle water yet that screams, "I'm a dehydrated douchebag and need to quench my thirst." Well, rest assured d-bags, you can drink happily. Ed Hardy, purveyor such high fashion items like t-shirts and hoodies with ugly tattoo prints, has launched a bottled water line. According to that Pop Candy link, it's not a joke. Dear god... what is this world coming too? At least when Donald Trump launched Trump Ice, I laughed hard but at least he's a brand that expands to a lot of different stuff. Ed Hardy Water... I think I'm speechless for once. (image from The Water Loft)



Disclaimer: Not all people who wear Ed Hardy are douchebags. I just hate the style. My apologies if you are reading this blog and own Ed Hardy clothes and are offended. I'm just expressing my opinion- I'm not here to make friends!

I'm Not Here to Make Friends

If you're an avid reality watcher like me, you know that when you go on a reality show, you're there to win. Those other contestants? Competition. Most importantly, the devoted contestants have their eyes on the prize are not here to make friends. Last year, a hilarious video was put together showing all the "I'm not here to make friends" moments. Now, a 2009 montage has been made to keep the grand tradition of anti-friendships alive. VH1 dominates in the no-friends zone, but people are really not looking to make friends if they're trying to be Paris Hilton's BFF. Get over those mid-week blues with I'm Not Here to Make Friends 2009.

Getting SERVED a Makeover

As you may have noticed, Mel Got Served's has a new look! Instead of my previous Are You There God? It's Me Margaret diary-looking template, I've found a new template that's a bit more stylish and fun. All images for the template are hosted on Photobucket, so apologies to those who can't see the images. If you ever have any issues with the site, please email me so I can look into it.

I've also listened to the masses and fixed my comments. Comments are now located at the top of each post and will appear in a pop-up window. Comment away and get the discussions flowing!

By the way, on the right you'll see lots of links to my favorite sites. Make sure you check out these sites, and if you have a site of your own, let me know!

Serving of the Week

Name: Takeru Kobayashi

SERVED: Each July 4th, my favorite sporting event of the year occurs: the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. For 6 years, on our country's Independence Day, a Japanese monster of the food, Takeru Kobayashi, reigned supreme over the weiner in the Nathan's Contest. 2 years ago, the Mustard Belt (grand prize) was brought back to our native soil by Joey Chestnut, SERVING Kobayashi's winning streak. Last year, the contest ended in a tie, and Joey Chestnut was able to win again in a tie-breaker round- SERVED again! But it was assumed Joey would be a two time victor and this year, he might not win. Well think again doubters! Joey Chestnut won, smashing the world record of 59 dogs, consuming 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes. That's right, Kobayashi is SERVED again! SERVED 64 hot dogs, and SERVED a 2nd place trophy. While it's sad to see a champ fall, it's great to see a former cocky winner completely SERVED! Hey, at least you didn't puke on national TV again. (Images from News-Press.com)

Thing someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter.

Movie Scene Sunday: Independence Day

Happy 5th of July! Yesterday, we celebrated our country's independence from Great Britain. But back in 1996, we fought again for our independence, but this time from aliens. Sure, it's a cliche pick for the week, but when trying to get a rousing crowd motivated, nothing goes better than President Bill Pullman's (not Paxton) speech to the troops to get the entire world together to defeat those weird spaceships. Next time you close an important speech, make sure you finish with, "TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!"

Reality Rundown: Looks like Jillian is not Jesse's Girl

The Next Food Network Star • The Bachelorette •

So You Think You Can Dance • The Fashion Show

The Next Food Network Star - The wannabe stars first make delicious burgers, except for healthnut Katie who makes a raw turkey burger. The winner is Michael, with a mouth-watering burger stuffed with mozzarella, with prosciutto on both sides of the burger, and in a garlic bread bun. For the elimination challenge, each contestant is given a basket with regional items and will cook a classic American meal for soldiers returning from the Middle East. Margaret Cho (Debbie) gets whacked in the face with a pan, the Greek god makes a horrible seafood pot pie and has no personality, and Melissa is "en fuego" this week with her New Mexico inspired steak tostado (plus a great presentation to the crowd). Teddy is still a fake annoyance that can kinda cook, but is finally told he can't be a star (something we've all known since maybe episode 2). (Image from FoodNetwork.com)

The Bachelorette - Hometown dates! I thought Kiptyn's uber-rich family would be awkward to be around, Breakdancing Michael's was awesome and he has a twin. Jesse had a cynical brother, Reid's was probably the most natural and normal... and Wes had his band (OK, his family after, but c'mon, he featured his freakin' band). But before Jillian can meet Wes' family, perfect Jake the pilot returns to tell her the truth: Wes has a girlfriend named Laurel! Shocking, I know. So after crying and not knowing if she can trust him, I think it's obvious what will happen. That's right, she GIVES HIM A ROSE. Jeez Bachelorette producers, could you have scripted this even better? No, because it's all set up by you producers anyways! But in good guy news: ED RETURNS! Bet you didn't see that coming? Oh wait, yes we did. How convenient that Ed was able to "leave for work" and return to the show for a second chance. I don't recall any jilted suitors getting a 2nd change before. Sorry, but this seems like the most set up, contrived moment ever. You can tell Ed works in computers, cause he's a lousy actor. At the same time, I don't care cause early on I predicted an Ed/Kiptyn final 2. Because Ed returns, Jillian now has to cut 2 dudes instead of 1. She eliminates poor breakdancing Michael and Jesse (which surprised me, but he was sacrificed at the alter of Ed). And of course kept Wes, thus angering me even more. Next week: Spain and fantasty suites! Oh, and in the preview there's such a scripted dinner where Wes says to Jillian, "my girlfriend- I mean ex-girlfriend." Wow, this is so mind-boggling set-up that it's getting hard to watch. Can't wait to hear what Reality Steve has to say about this. (Hilarious image from BuddyTV)

So You Think You Can Dance - Wow! Best episode this season. The dancing this week was so great by all couples; even the one I liked least was at least danced well. Mia is the 3rd judge this week, so sorry no Mia routine! But we do get an amazing contemporary piece inspired by vampires with Kupono/Kayla, and it's crazy good. Janette/Brandon (my favorites) are unstoppable with another hot cha cha, and Brandon has finally won Mia's respect- tears by all! Philip lucks out this week and gets hip-hop, which I think saved him from elimination. Melissa, a ballerina, is given the Classical pas de deux and it's beautiful; she dances on point, which is a 1st for the show. But bad news: the shorties, Evan/Randi, do OK in Broadway but it's not a smash. Caitlin/Jason danced their jazz well, but Caitlin's alien costume was distracting. It was more disco stegasaurus than alien. Karla/Vitolio pull the quick step, which is the kiss of death on this show, but dance it pretty well. Unfortunately for them, I think the fans just don't like Karla much (in her intro solo, she got like no cheers). Bottom 3 prediction: Evan/Randi, Caitlin/Jason, Karla/Vitolio.

Results show! Vitolio/Karla are the 1st place in the bottom 3; score 1 for me. But suddenly, the other 2 pairs in the bottom baffle me: Kupono/Kayla and Philip/Jeanine. I for sure thought hip hop would be Philip's saving grace, and Kupono/Kayla were the best last night. I think Kayla rubs viewers the wrong way. So they all dance for their lives and it's pretty easy to guess that Vitolio and Karla are out this week. Both of them have been in the bottom 3 out of 4 times- it's time to go! (Images from BuddyTV)

The Fashion Show - What a snooze this week. In the lamest challenge, the designers get a tarot card reading and then have to design an outfit based on the card they pulled. Merlin and Johnny pull the same card and have completely different interpretations. By that I mean, Johnny makes something totally hot and Merlin makes the goofiest travel sweatsuit I've ever seen. It looked like bloomers under a yellow pea coat. James Paul also is a stinker, making a weird complex outfit even though he got a straightforward tarot card of keeping it simple. Anna wins the challenge with some cool dress, while Reco comes in 2nd with a snazzy pantsuit. Sadly, sass and zany interviews don't help keep you on this show, and the flamboyant Merlin is out of the door, which is pretty zany since his tarot card predicted he'd be going somewhere. I guess somewhere is home. (Image from BravoTV.com)

Big Brother Pre-Show Winner Prediction

Next week comes the return of my favorite guilty pleasure: Big Brother. Yes, I invest $30 each year (well it's a gift for my dad each year, but hey, win-win) to be the voyeur that watches every move of the houseguests. I go on messageboards to rant and rave about castmembers, and follow live-feed recaps throughout the day (shoutout to Jokers Updates!) Yesterday, CBS announced 12 of the 13 houseguests (#13 is a mystery- ooh!) willing to sacrifice their dignity and likely have their past misdeeds exposed for a chance at half a million dollars. So I've decided to look at simply the pictures and brief brios of the current cast and from this, I shall make my prediction of who will win Big Brother 11.

MELISSA PREDICTS....

CASEY will win Big Brother 11.

This is a ballsy guess, but looking at bios, etc. I think this guy has a likable factor, while the others either don't look like serious gamers or appear to be toolbags. So, GO CASEY! Make my prediction come true.

So who do YOU think will win Big Brother 11? Leave you guess in the comments.

(Image from CBS.com)