January 19, 2010

Reality Rundown: I'm Not Trashy Unless I Drink Too Much

1/19/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment
Jersey Shore Super Special Edition
Jersey Shore Part 1Jersey Shore Part 2

Jersey Shore Part 1 - I'm so sick of recapping Sammi & Ronnie fights. Sammi forgives Ronnie for shoving her in last week's fight. They move on to arguing with Snooki for wanting the family meeting about the duo being isolated since the other roommates don't care. Snooki just wants them to be a group since there's only 2 weeks left. More apologizing. At the club, Sammi gets separation anxiety when she can't find Ronnie. The Situation, being the nice guy he is, points Ronnie out and says he's talking to girls. Sammi and Ronnie fight again, where Ronnie reminds Sammi that Mike (Situation) can't be trusted. This is what we call "foreshadowing."

In smushing news, everyone gets their hook-up on at Karma. Snooki makes out with a country-voiced guy and likes him a lot; she says she'll save herself on the shore for the Cowboy. Pauly D meets an Israeli girl Danielle, gives her his business card, talk about their future life together, and their religious differences. She won't sleep with him right away, so Pauly accepts this as a summer challenge- not that physical challenge. Vinny is still seeing Tanya the boss' ex and brings her home to lay on the hammock, but he's not the only one of the roof deck. The Situation's latest conquest is a girl named Paula and they basically get it on in the hot tub, but there's Snookus interruptus and the smushing ends (and Paula falls down the stairs). The next morning, Paula's friend drags her home because her family is terrified because she didn't come home and missed her first day at work. Talk about a sticky situation!

Vinny (and everyone else) thinks The Situation is a skeeze and declares that when he's 27 he doesn't want to be like The Situation. He responds Vinny has no game, to which Vinny responds, "That's not what your sister thinks." SERVED! The Situation's sister Melissa (hereby known as "The Lady Situation") returns again with her Vinny crush and the two hook up after somehow Vinny chooses The Lady Situation over Tanya. Vinny is loving to stick it to The Situation (and to The Lady Situation).

Looking for a change of scenery and places to start fights, the hang heads to Atlantic City for the night. Everyone gets dressed to the 9's for the dinner shitshow which starts with some fun ribbings and ends up with a sad Snooki. After The Situation thinks Snooki is gone, she snaps on him and says everyone hates him. She attempts to change the subject and asks for a roll, and The Situation tells her, "Don't worry, you got a couple." Snooki leaves crying because 1. that's low and 2. she used to have an eating disorder. The Situation eventually apologizes, but the damage is done. He's a plague on this house.

Post-dinner apologies, everyone gets their drink and dance on at the club. Snooki falls off a couch, Vinny bags a hot girl, goes to the bathroom, and The Situation gets his sloppy seconds which he refers to as a "robbery." JWoww gets really drunk and pukes in the bathroom. She returns to the club and asks The Situation, currently attempting to (shocking!) hook-up, to help her back to the room. He refuses, so JWoww threatens to beat-up the girl on his lap to get them both kicked out. Instead, JWoww slaps him in the head and is escorted out. She vows to punch him right in the face when he gets back to the room. As the night ends and the guys return to the room, Vinny asks how he spit tastes from the sloppy seconds, and JWoww suddenly enters the room and punches The Situation (something we've all wanted to do for about 3 weeks). TO BE CONTINUED...


Jersey Shore Part 2 -After reliving JWoww's amazing punch, some "Private Protective Services" guys pull her away. Vinny loves that of all the people that could've socked The Situation, it was a girl. JWoww considers leaving even with less than a week less, but Snooki threatens to shove tampons up her nose. After a lousy talk with her boyfriend, and a productive talk between her and The Situation, it looks like all is well with JWoww and she'll finish up the summer.

Vinny and Pauly D meet up with 3 girls they met while previously creepin and have a fun time on the boardwalk, except for Pauly's newfound stalker. Danielle the Israeli girl is following him all over the boardwalk, popping up out of nowhere like Spaghett. She even makes him an "I heart Jewish Girls" shirt. Pauly doesn't like the stalking so tells her he'll call her when he gets home, except she doesn't get the message. She keeps calling the duck phone and the house is loving it. Pauly finally answers the phone and tells her she's a stalker, to which she denies. But they run into each other at a club and leave together after talking. Could it be love? Doubtful for Pauly!

No household is complete without pranks. The Situation and Pauly decide to hide Snooki's favorite treat, pickles, under her bed. They figure she'll like it; and she isn't mad when she finds it. She's more upset that they wasted pickles. The Situation continues his pranking on his new nemesis, Vinny, who has been talking smack about him. He mixes pickle juice, mayo, Caesar dressing, and cheese in a bowl and stashes it under the bed. Vinny notices the stench but it takes 2 days and Sammi telling him to figure it out. This leads to the guy's calling out The Situation for his embarrassing, man-whorish ways but The Situation seems to brush it off.

The gang heads to Karma, so you can easily guess what I'm about to recap. It begins as a fun night of beating the beat up, doing the Ronnie dance, and accidentally kissing guy's with girlfriends (Snooki). It ends in exactly what you think.

While walking home, some blurred face girl starts yelling for the group to get out of Seaside heights, that Snooki is dressed like a tramp in a Halloween costume (it's a corset, bitch!) Another guy with those girls suddenly gets in everyone's face but security holds him back. All is well until the guy gets away from security and Ronnie has had it. He turns around, runs up to the guy and cold cocks him. Knocks the guy to the ground in one punch! Sirens start roaring and Ronnie encourages everyone to keep walking, but no luck. While the guy may have attempted to punch Ronnie, he knocked him out and it's aggravated assault- Ronnie's off to the slammer! Prepare for another Sammi and Ronnie whine-a-thon next week.


ncoderre said...

The best blingee ever created!