February 5, 2010

Reality Rundown: Chicken Soup for the Hot Mess Soul

The BachelorThe Biggest LoserProject Runway

Photo from BuddyTV.comThe Bachelor: On the Wings of Live - Jake takes the ladies to San Francisco and since he's got mostly blonds, I'm hoping they'll re-enact the Full House opening. Right away, Tenley is taken on a 1-on-1 cable car/Chinatown date where they get along really well (aka Jake is boring) and wear racist hats. Both even wrote "Kiss me!" inside their fortune cookies- perfect match! Jake admits to the camera he's beginning to fall for Tenley.

The date card arrives for the 2-on-1 date and after a near-scare of an Ali/Vienna face-off, it's actually Gia and Vienna going to a vineyard/castle in Napa Valley. Gia originally feels like the 3rd wheel until Jake takes her for alone time and assures her he's falling for her- then they make out. The clingy pony (Vienna) takes it upon herself to search for Jake in the wine cellar hallways, calling out "Jake?! Honey?!" She is pathetic and when she tells Jake she's falling for him, he doesn't respond. Since it's a castle sleepover, Vienna sneaks down to Jake's room with wine and he assures us viewers it'll stay rated G (like we doubted that!) Vienna ends up leaving, thinking maybe this hurt her chances with Jake.

Jake takes Corrie (who?) to the park where the take a boat, awkwardly don't kiss, head to the Science Center, Corrie admits she's a virgin, Jake's OK with that, and then they kiss. She's a sweet girl but it's so obvious she's 5th out of 5. The final solo date is with Ali, and since she lives in San Fran, she gets to play tourguide. It's the most natural date and they seem to have a blast; I think Ali is the best fit for Jake. But he has to bring up the Vienna-bomb, since Vienna told Jake how Ali hates her and blew up at the last rose ceremony. Ali is trying to let go of the Vienna hate and tells Jake she wants him to be happy.

At the Rose Ceremony, Jake lets Corrie know her situation won't impact his decision because, "It's not about sex appeal, it's about heart appeal." Gag! In case you were hoping Vienna would be gone tonight, Jake gives her a tour of his hotel room and balcony so clearly she's staying. In his bro-talk with Chris Harrison, Chris brings up the house drama and Jake says he's ignoring it. I find this hilarious since last season, Jake spent every minute of that show diming out Wes and pointing out what a bad person he was. Hypocrite alert! Jake prepares to handout his roses to narrow it down to 4 for hometown dates. The ladies all look so classy until you see Vienna who looks so trailer trash; I really don't get it. Anyways, no surprise, Corrie gets cut and cries in the limo (which passes by the Mrs. Doubtfire house!) So a trip to San Francisco, yet no a single Rice-A-Roni factory tour- seems like a failure to me!

The Biggest Loser - Upon the departure of her daughter, Miggy returns to the house only to be sent to the ER. We later find out she had her appendix, as well as a cyst and a mass, removed. She also learns from Dr. Hzuinga that she's got about 8lbs worth of salt water in her, so her fears of going home are elevated.

30 days have come and gone on TBL campus, and the Yellow and Blue teams (sent home day 1) return for a weigh-in: whoever loses the most gets to return to campus to compete, has immunity, and has the only vote that will be cast at elimination this week. The father/daughter Yellow team gets to return to campus and realize they need to get into game mode now. Lots of workouts and crying (as usual) this week, and at a challenge pushing football tackle pads, the sole member of the White team (Michael) wins immunity; last place pink gets a 2lb disadvantage.

At the weigh-in, Miggy reveals that because of surgery all she can do it walk, so she walked like 17 miles in a day. Yikes! She's safe. Pink's 2lb disadvantage doesn't matter and it's the sole member of the Brown team that's eliminated. Thank god for immunity, because Yellow was the team with the lowest percentage of weight-loss.

Project Runway - The challenge this week is to create an evening dress for an inspiring woman, which we find out are women who suffer from heart disease. In a big ol' product tie-in, the designers will create red dresses for the annual Campbell's Soup campaign for heart disease prevention. Oh and of course the dresses need to include Campbell's Soup branding. You would've thought a reality show promoting soup might be say, The Biggest Loser? But Andy Warhol made some sweet artwork inspired by the iconic can and so can our designers, right?

Wrong. While all the designers are inspired emotionally by the struggles of their models, they designers are far from good. In fact, I pretty much hated every look this week. Amy is declared the winner with a flowy, ethereal dress that flatters her model (I liked this look, I guess). Young, soft-spoken Anna is in the bottom 2 with a really ugly dress with a creepy flesh-toned top; it fits poorly and makes her model look terrible. In his official spot of the season, Jesus is also in the bottom 2 with a whorish red dress complete with tacky rhinestones that even Deb wouldn't sell. We're mercifully saved from having to look at Jesus' abominations from fashion again. He expresses that he's shocked he's no longer in the competition; umm, you've been in the bottom every single week and you're surprised? Someone get this kid a clue... and a copy of Vogue.