February 12, 2010

Reality Rundown: Please Don't Gimme Some Sugar

The BachelorThe Biggest LoserProject RunwayNew! Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains

The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love - It's hometown date week so be prepared for awkward questions, professions of love (from the girls), and reuniting by jumping on Jake like a monkey. First Jake visits Gia in New York to meet her mother and step-family (including her step-brother who clearly dreams of being on Jersey Shore season 2). It goes well, but again, she is just way too hot for Jake. He also doesn't ask Gia's mother for a marriage blessing, clearly a sign Jake's just waiting for fantasy suites to hit in and quit it.

Second date is with Ali and I think they're kinda perfect together. In Williamstown, MA, Ali takes Jake to her dead grandmother's house, and then he again is a hit with the family. He asks Ali's mom permission for a proposal if she makes it to the end. Also, When does a bachelor visit the girl's hometown and they don't love him? There's a lot of Ali talking about how nothing has ever been this perfect and it's amazing being with Jake, so of course, foreshadowing.

Jake flies across the US for his only west-coast girl, Tenley in Oregon. Tenley shares her passion for lyrical dance by performing an original number for Jake, and I pray that it was the editors who put the wedding march as the music and not her. Lots of ex-husband talk, Tenley's family is glad to see her smile again, and Jake asks Tenley's dad for her hand in marriage. That's 2/3- sorry Gia!

Finally, Jake meets Vienna's family in Florida where he interacts with her overprotective dad, sees gators, and makes out with Vienna in her bedroom. Jake also brings up the Vienna-hate in the house, and he says it's because the girls are all jealous of Vienna. No, it's because Vienna is a spoiled bitch. Honestly, I don't remember what else happened on this hometown cause when I see Vienna, I tune out.

Onto the good stuff: Jake returns to LA for the rose ceremony and gets a knock on his hotel room door... it's Ali. It seems Ali must not have expected to make it this far because reality is callin: come back to work or lose your job. Now Ali has to decide between her job or Jake, and it's kind of a gamble especially since Jake tells her he can't definitely say he'll pick her in the end. It's a really drawn out cryfest and Jake does ask her to stay, but a 1 in 4 shot is kinda stupid so Ali wisely chooses her job. Jake seems heartbroken for about 2 minutes before he returns to the other girls and says how he's relieved to not have to have a rose ceremony. Yeah, what a relief! Instead of chosing who you want there a girl you potentially loved packed up and left for her job- total relief!

The Biggest Loser - NBC is gearing up for the Olympics by sending the losers to the US Olympic training facility in Denver, Colorado. Along with a torch lighting ceremony, Alison drops a few bombs: 1. they're competing as individuals, 2. two people are going home, 3. one person won't even be voted out- whoever is the lowest falls under a red line and automatically goes home. The 2 under the yellow get voted off. Cue fear in all the losers, along with being whipped into shape by Olympians. Sam, Melissa, and Sunshine win the pop challenge which involves those slide boards circa 1992 (and appropriately, I remember it from the movie Heavy Weights - 3:32 mark) and get an advantage at the next challenge with immunity on the line. It's a twist on the biathlon with shooting targets; the 3 pop winners sabotage each other. After a lot of running in circles, O'Neal from the yellow team wins immunity.

The roadtrip ends fast and back at the ranch, the losers are getting more and more nervous about that thin red line. Now that the losers are individuals I realized this season is lacking in personatalites: I barely know any of their names. The dad from the Black team (Darryl) does really poorly and it looks like he'll be the victim of the Red line. The mom from Orange (Cheryl) also tanks but is slightly above Black. Melissa from Red weighs in last and is shocked to see a +1 on the scale; Melissa is eliminated after a long speech about her husband needing this.

It seems like it's time to write someone's name under that silver platter, but Alison's got another ace up her sleeve: at the Olympics, you don't vote, you have to earn a spot so there's no vote this week- it's head to head competition time! Loser goes home. Cheryl and Darryl have to balance a torch stem (pole) on their head; drop it and the flames goes out and they're eliminated. Since TBL won't be on during the Olympics of course it's To Be Continued- dun dun duuuuuun!

Project Runway - The designers take a field trip to the offices of Marie Claire magazine where the editor in chief gives them their next challenge: design an outfit for a celebrity to wear on the cover of Marie Claire magazine. Winner of the challenge will have their look on the April cover of Marie Claire (hint hint, PR wants you to buy this issue). The celebrity on the cover: Heidi Klum (the normal thin version, not preggers Heidi). After getting design advice like no black, patterns, focus on the top, they sketch and shop at mood.

The workroom is super quiet because this is a huge challenge, but Seth Aaron keeps it noisy to others' chagrin. On the runway, there are some great looks and of courses, hot messes. Ben makes a modern look that's brightly colored, but I would've preferred it without the brown/maroon part. Emilio's fuschia dress gets praise, but it still needs some tweaks to be perfect. Sassy Anthony makes this awesome turquoise dress that screams cover to me and to the judges: he's the winner! Quiet Anna made a tank top, vest, and shorts: it's like a low-end H&M look for a 16 year old. Janeane's inspiration was the beach, but it looks like dowdy bridal. Mila's was an ugly Band-Aid color, crotch-pointing arrows, and no detail on the top. Quiet Anna is told she's out, which isn't surprising since she's been in the bottom a lot, has little experience, and they focused on her all episode. I know your tricks Project Runway!

New! Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - 20 of Survivors most notorious players return to play again (or if you're half of them, again and again). The heroes have heavenly blue buffs, while the villains are of course given devil red. The castaways are dropped onto the Samoa beach and greeted by Jeff who has a mini-reunion Q&A session where Rob says, "I'm a villain?" Funny stuff, but no time for bonding: reward challenge. I could explain it all but basically the goal is to retrieve a sandbag and to beat the shit out of each other to get it. What this entails is manpiles, Coach outwitting Colby, figure 4 wrestling moves, a dislocated then relocated shoulder, a broken toe, and 2 women getting their tops ripped off and running bare-boobied. The Heroes win the reward (fire) and start the game off confident.

At the Heroes camp, there's an immediate bond and workmanship. They find chickens and capture them (rooster dinner for all!), Sugar annoys them during bedtime, and build a nice shelter. Broken toed Rupert decides he needs to be a worker bee to prove his worth, but can't start the fire with the flint; JT does it almost immediately. Alliances are already forming, especially those who were on prior seasons together like Stephanie and Tom, or Amanda, Cirie, and James (but he's focused on aligning with JT- as is Tom).

Over at the Villain camp, Russell goes immediately into game mode, making final 2 deals with Danielle and Parvati. Parv knows he's probably making lots of deals, she knows she wants the devil on her side. A surprising showmance starts up with perhaps the most unlikeliest duos ever: Coach and Jerri. Yes, the Dragonslayer and the Black Widow; it sounds like a weird fable. Coach might be in a love triangle though, since he's got a serious mancrush on Boston Rob (who started a fire by rubbing logs). Russell notes this in his head, seeing Boston Rob is a threat to him and we know what happens when Russell gets threatened.

The Heroes and Villains (no fun tribe names this season) meet for the immunity challenge which Jeff explains is to build a boat, ignite a torch, disassemble the boat, solve a puzzle, assemble and climb a ladder, light fire, win. The Heroes take a huge lead but blow it on the puzzle. Boston Rob and Sandra (who I think are going to make an awesome alliance) rock the puzzle and lead the Villains to a victory.

Time for some tribal council scrambling. Sugar is the first to throw out Amanda's name. Word then spreads that Sugar has to go and it seems like that's the consensus. Not so fast: Tom brings up Cirie's name since strategically she's a huge threat. As Cirie's name comes up, Candace throws Tom and Stephanie into the running since they are likely aligned from being in their original season together. Decisions, decisions! Most of tribal council is focused on what strategy does a first vote go: is it strategy or physical? Judging by the votes, it's physical and little Sugar, who I was kinda psyched to see again, is quickly sent packing. I can tell: this is going to be an awesome season... unless Rupert lasts a long time. Seriously, he's crazy. I think he has "the infection" Sayid from Lost has.

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