February 26, 2010

Reality Rundown: See You in Loser's Lodge

The Amazing RaceThe Bachelor: On the Wings of LoveSurvivor: Heroes vs. Villains

The Amazing Race - The teams spend a day traveling via different buses to Puerta Varas, Chile. The Cowboys, Team Big Brother, and Miss Teen USA take a different bus that arrives earlier than the others, but only the Cowboys catch their connection. It doesn't matter though since the next clue doesn't start until 7am and teams catch up quickly. The Detour is to dress a hostile llama in a scarf and blanket or dress like a condor and jump out to a buoy. It's fun to see llamas spit it people's faces.

The Roadblock is to retrieve a bunch of ingredients to make a dessert common amongst the German population that resides in Chile. Due to her lack of intelligence, Jeff takes the Roadblock since Jordan in no way could figure out how many eggs are in a baker's dozen. Grandma/Granddaughter are way behind but are able to catch up quite a bit (despite being kicked in the face by a cow) due to the detectives and brothers lack of directional skills. The Cowboys shock us all, checking in as team #1; not as dumb as I thought they'd be! To no one's surprise, Grandma/Granddaugher are eliminated and while their nice folks, they really didn't seem to have the competitive drive this race needs.

The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love - I hate these stupid reunion shows and would prefer not to cover them, but I know people are clamoring to read about the "hilarious" outtakes and post-show drama. This episode was as exciting as I thought it would be. No wonder why I had to actually force myself to watch this episode, saying to myself "But the readers want to know!" So you better have read every bit of this Tell All torture recap.

If you think this Women Tell All special was meant to be anything but an all-out bashing of Rozlyn, you're mistaken. Despite this being at the end, let's tackle this first. All the girls bash Rozlyn, swearing on their dog's lives (because that's much more valuable than Roz swearing on her son's life) that they saw Rozlyn and the producer making out in the house, etc. Listen, do I think Rozlyn and the producer formed a strong friendship that one shouldn't have with a crewmember? Yes. Do I think this girl had an openly PDA-filled relationship with the producer? No. This is a huge scandal cooked up by the show. The girls who came forward now claiming to have seen it all were the same girls who 3 weeks ago told reporters they saw nothing and it was all rumors. It's BS concocted for ratings. Rozlyn puts Chris Harrison in his place, even accusing him of hitting on the producer's ex-wife. HA! This is just too much. I'm tired of talking about this and if you want an extensive recap, try Television Without Pity, cause I'm over covering this crap. If you want the truth about the Rozlyn scandal, listen to this 2 hour interview with Reality Steve who gets down to the nitty gritty with Rozlyn.

What else happened at the reunion: recapping the whole season very boringly for like 15 minutes. Then we see the usual footage of ex-Bachelors and Bachelorettes hooking up with each other, and then doing charity work because of course the kids of America are clamoring for a helping hand from people skanking it up on reality TV. If you watched this segment and didn't realize it's an obvious set-up for the announced Bachelor Pad, a blatant I Love Money/Real World/Road Rules Challenge rip-off, then you're blind. The girls all dish on each other, saying Tenley is straight out of a Disney movie, Michelle isn't crazy, and Ashleigh fake-tripped to get Jake's attention. Gia gets some solo-time and realizes she should've verbalized her feelings and knows that was her downfall. Ali thought Jake would want her back when she called and threw herself into work for fear of a broken heart. Jake gets the least screen time, probably because he's so boring, but confirms he's happy with the decision he made in the end. Next week: does Jake pick the Ginger or the Mary Ann?

Survivor - Tom and Colby worry about their status on the team, but Rupert is hoping for a rainy day in the shelter to force everyone into some team-morale-building games and bonding time. Well it doesn't rain, but the men bond while chasing after chickens. Candice also decides to play the game and approaches JT for a possible alliance; he decides to use this to place seeds of doubt with Cirie, telling Cirie that Candice says she can't be trusted. Candice goes a little nutty when Cirie tells her this and starts confronting everyone. Luckily this doesn't throw off the Heroes, because at the Immunity Challenge the Heroes demolish the villains in a Survivor version of American Gladiators joust. And in fun news, they also won luxury items from home- I hope people brought fun stuff and not lame photo albums.

Boston Rob wisely interviews that the way to know alliances is who you sleep next to at night cause chances are you aren't spooning with the enemy. The obvious alliances are Parvati/Russell and Jerri/Coach, and everyone knows Parvati needs to go cause she's adorable and has a charm that entrances everyone. Coach and B-Rob try to convince Russell that Parv has to go and no one tries to boss around Russell. Once Russell sees those 2 trying to be leader he decides to take control by hiding their only machete in the woods so they can't cut, start fire, etc. His next target: Boston Rob's Red Sox hat. Nooooo! Russell is a Houston Astros fan and I didn't think they had any fans except the Bad News Bears.

After losing Immunity, the Villains prepare for their first Tribal Council with a decision to make. Vote off the weakest player with no bonds (Randy) or take out a strong manipulator with 3 possible alliance members on the Heroes tribe (Parvati). Jerri wants to punch Parv in the face, Parv thinks Jerri is a fake, and Randy forewarns Coach of the trouble they'll have if Parvati sticks around. Coach vows on the words of Martin Luther King Jr. to try and keep hope alive for Randy in this game, but it's pointless and Randy is the unanimous vote at Tribal. Knowing his torch-snuffing was inevitable and that no one would write down Parvati's name, Randy casts a vote in Boston Rob's direction to cause a little grief. Right now, Parvati's #1 fan, my Twitter bud @jacobjunior7, is breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Photo Credits: BuddyTV, CBS.com, Survivor.com

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