March 12, 2010

Reality Rundown: The King and the Dragonslayer

The Amazing Race - 3 different flights bring the teams to Hamburg, Germany where they immediately come across a new diversion: an Intersection. An Intersection is where 2 teams have to work together to complete a task, and this Intersection is a Roadblock where 2 members will tandem bungee jump. Most impressive is that Jet's cowboy hat stayed on the entire jump- that thing must be glued onto his noggin.

The Detour was a choice of eating a giant plate of sauerkraut or kicking soccer balls through 5 targets. After completing the Detour, the teams have to bring their clue to a bar and trade it in for a giant boot-shaped mug of beer. If you opted for the sauerkraut, the burps afterwards must've been heinous. The Detectives chow down on the sauerkraut like they haven't eaten days and chug their beer, making them team #1 and they win some cash, which I'm sure is a far better prize than another trip considering they're spending a month racing around the world. Team Big Brother get a terrible cab driver, change detours, but easily get the beer down- they are the last team to check in but fear no JeJo fans: it's a non-elimination leg and Jeff and Jordan live to race another leg.

The Biggest Loser - New Blue team member O'Neal has a hissy fit until he finds out his daughter Sunshine is safe, then suddenly decides he is the leader and gives a speech to his team about working together. Says the guy with the dud knee who can barely do challenges. Speaking of challenges, in a "isn't it obvious which team will win?" challenge, the teams have to pull an 18-wheeler truck and pick up milk crate puzzle pieces and complete the puzzle. The Blue team wins, though not as far ahead as expected since O'Neal is slow, and they win free groceries for a year.

The Losers also learn that this is "Work Week" and they will all be holding down a full-time job at a food bank, commuting via bus (the horror!), and the gym is only open from 6:00AM to 7:30PM. This is the real world people! Though in the real world, most people sit stagnantly at a desk all day and don't get to lift 30lb boxes of food. Work Week allows the Losers to preach to other fatties at the warehouse that they too can lose weight and then make a totally unplanned and not-at-all an obnoxious attempt at product placement trip to Subway for lunch when Sam realizes he forgot his lunch and the vending machine is full of junk.

The 2 old ladies on the Black team are really bonding but know they are targets for being older (OK, they're only 51 but that's ancient compared to others). O'Neal and Sunshine get a big focus about how amazing it is to have this journey as a father/daughter team, blah blah I fast forwarded. O'Neal has become the preachy guy this season and it's so annoying. Lucky for him, the Blue team wins the weigh-in. The Black team actually takes a great logic for who to vote off: how far are you from obtaining your goal weight? Turns out the only guy on the team, Sam, is only 50lbs away and isn't getting big numbers since he's now getting muscle. The voting ends up sending old-lady Cheryl in an effort to try and win challenges. Interesting thing: Cheryl's starting weight on the ranch was 227lbs and the Black team lost 2.27% this week- coincidence? Yeah, definitely.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - Coach and his tribe bond as he leads a session of Dragonslayer Chi, but Russell declines to participate to focus on finding the Immunity Idol. After much digging and searching, Russell is the possessor of the Hidden Immunity Idol.

At the Reward Challenge, with a prize of a chocolate feast at a watering hold, James from the Heroes goes down fast when he pops his knee. He is taken out of the challenge and, depending on his condition, maybe out of the game. Also, crazy hippie Rupert slams Jerri's head into a pole which is fun to watch, but also makes you remember that Rupert can be a turd. The Villains win reward, binge on chocolate, and gossip about Russell and the Immunity Idol, which they all speculate he has. Russell lets Parvati know about the Idol and they know this will be leverage to get people on their side. Russell confides in Coach about the Idol and Coach is so flattered. While Coach wants to work with Boston Rob, he is elated that Russell has trusted him. Russell proposes they align calling them, "The King and the Dragonslayer" and knights Coach to make it official. It's amazing.

The Heroes fear for the worst when James isn't back from the Reward Challenge. Medical has bandaged the knee and if he can walk fine, he's OK to play; James comes limping back to camp in a giant cast and Amanda cries from happiness. I gag. Their joy is short-lived when the Villains come from behind to win the Immunity Challenge and the Heroes have to vote someone off again. James is the obvious choice to go home because he physically can't do as much anymore, but JT, Rupert, Amanda, and James all plan to vote off Tom and Candice isn't pleased. JT is kind wary and then tells Tom, Colby and Candice he'll vote off James. He's so wishy-washy and Colby guarantees this flip-flopper attitude will bite JT in the ass.

At Tribal Council, Jeff points out James' dud knee and indicates his niece could beat James in a footrace, which he denies. James, feeling weak, pushes the blame onto Candice and Tom; Tom fights back, which I love. I didn't see Tom's season but I like that he's a nice, honest dude but also won't take some crybaby's bullshit attitude. Tom argues that they aren't keeping James because he's strong, but because he's a sheep and they need his vote since he just listens to who everyone tells him to vote for. Tom knows he's a goner, but urges his tribe to vote logically. They don't: in a 5-2 vote, Tom's torch is snuffed. With Tom gone, I say Villains FTW!

Project Runway - Tim, along with some Garnier hair product guy who's last name is pronounced "Carry On" (perfect for Tim), tells the designers this week's task is to create a look inspired by one of 4 natural elements: earth, air, fire, or water. They each randomly draw and element and then the snoozefest begins. The workroom is quiet, the color palettes muted... I won't like, I fast forwarded through a good 20 minutes.

Onto the only part worth watching: the runway. Maya creates a water-inspired flowy sleeved look which impresses the judges, but they also warn she takes too much inspiration from other big name designers. Seth Aaron makes an amazing leather ensemble, though "air" isn't very apparent. Jonathan breaks out of the middle of the pack, winning this week's challenge with a dress with a color palette inspired by his model's complexion. Mila is in the bottom with a drab mineral-colored vest and otherwise dull look. Amy's fire look is just a big bowl of hair on her model's chest and it's terrible. Ben is AUF'D this week with a great white shark pant suit that is poorly made. Here's a life lesson for all future Project Runway contestants: if you've never made a suit before, don't try it when you have elimination on the line.

Photo credits: CBS, MyLifetime, NBC,,