March 5, 2010

Reality Rundown: Tin Man, Hershey Kiss, Ballerina, Garbage Newsaper, Ughhh, Vacuum Bag

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest Loser
Survivor: Heroes vs. VillainsProject Runway

The Amazing Race - The season of the bus ride continues with a 6 hour trek to Argentina. For a hot second it looks like Miss Teen USA might not make it, as she gets a touch of food poisoning, but the bus is an equalizer so they are able to make it. The first task in Argentina is to beat the Travelocity Roaming Gnome is a game of 5 Card Stud, which is as weird as it sounds. The clue after that is a Roadblock to lasso a haybale cow. The Cowboys easily complete this, while the Moms struggle the most, putting them in the back of the pack. The Lesbians bitch and moan about this Roadblock being unfair, and then they complain the whole rest of the leg. This is definitely the unlikable team of the season.

The Detour is a choice of playing polo on a wooden horse or find a bag of loot based on old fashioned compasses (aka steps). Jeff and Jordan easily find their bag, but don't read the clue and keep trying to give deliver the loot to the wrong person. Once they re-read the clue and realize their stupidity, Jeff intelligently says, "We shouldn't reproduce." The Cowboys complete the polo quickly and easily slide into another victory leg with their big cowboy belt buckles. The Mom-trepreneurs catch up but can't catch a break at polo; they switch detours to find the money bags but get Philiminated at check-in.

The Biggest Loser - It's baaaack- and interesting again! When we last left off, Orange and Black were balancing torches on their head to see who stays. At 9 minutes, the dad from the Black team drops out and Orange mom stays.

The next morning the losers are greeted by a giant plate of cookies for a temptation. Today partners are gone and it's time for teams and the winner of the temptation will get to pick teams and choose someone for immunity (the immune person will join the team that loses a member this week). Only fat Michael from White and the newly solo Black team daughter participate. The game is memory: find the 2 "Pick the Team" cards and you win. However, match up 2 junk foods and the other person eats them; don't make a match and eat a cookie. After gorging themselves and consuming about 2,000 calories each, Michael wins.

Michael decides to make his teams strategically: he makes old-man Yellow immune and completely stacks Bob's Blue team with all the big dudes (including himself). Jillian's Black team has 1 guy and all the lighter women. Needless to say, she's furious and almost say he teams stinks. I don't know why every year the a-holes team with Bob since it's proven that Jillian's team always wins the show. Anyways, the rub salt into the wounds the Black team also wins the reward challenge (boring letters from home). They are determined to win the weigh-in. After 2 Blue team members (Miggy and Lance) pull low numbers, Black sees a chance: they need to have lost 39lbs to win the weigh in. With some super-dramatic music, Black teams loses 41lbs and win the weigh-in!

Suddenly Black isn't so cocky. Michael's greed to stay in the game costs him big time: his best friend Miggy is voted off for having one of the lowest weight loses this week. Looks like we got a battle up in herrrrrrre!

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - Post-Tribal, Coach has a cryfest to Tyson because he feels like odd man out. Tyson gives some excellent advice like, do your tai chi in private, don't tell those stories that sound like huge lies, and stop wearing a giant feather earring to Tribal Council. Boston Rob assures Coach he does like him and he just needs to trust him.

Tree Mail delivers everyone's favorite reading delight: a Sears catalog! Each tribe can choose 2 items and if they win the reward challenge, they get their dream come true. Unfortunately no one selects any bedding from the . The Heroes go for fishing necessities and kitchen supplies, while the villains opt for a giant tarp and a toolbox. The Reward Challenge is to get all lubed up, slip and slide to some hanging balls, and score a basket. Super sexy! The Villains win and head back to camp where Russell accidentally discovers a clue to the hidden Immunity Idol inside one of their new tools. The tribe decides no one should get the Idol and whoever takes it is a marked man... so of course Russell goes looking and now he's on everyone's shit list.

Over at the Hero camp, I guess the best part of waking up is an Immunity Idol in your cup (ok, container of coffee beans, but I was going for the Folgers pun). The Heroes all scramble to find the Idol and Tom, James, and Amanda prowl the same spot. Tom finds the Idol and slips it away quickly, but not before Amanda sees it. Tom and Colby hope this can be good leverage for staying in this game longer, while others see this as a need to get Tom out now.

At the immunity challenge (which is the giant ball roll and puzzle maze that almost killed other Russell last season), the Heroes lose making the obvious choice elimination choice Tom (to flush out the Idol). Candice approaches Cirie with the plan to split the votes 3-3 between Tom and Colby, that way if Tom plays the Idol Colby leaves or it forces a tie-breaker. Tom is desperate and approaches JT and Amanda to align, even offering to give away his Idol. JT likes this plan because he wants the Idol in his alliance, doesn't trust Candice, and knows Tom and Colby are honest players. Blabbermouth Amanda tells Cirie, and Cirie gets pissed. Tom, Colby, and JT chat and realize Cirie is dangerous so why not make a 3 way tie? JT realizes that, yet again, the fate of the game is in his hands.

At Tribal Council, the main topic of discussion is about alliances and how the strong are being sacrificed just because they're not in the "in" alliance. Rupert admits maybe it's not smart, but he's keeping his word and Jeff respects his honesty. Everyone gets up to vote and we get a teaser that JT started writing a C, but is it Colby or Cirie? Don't tease me, Survivor! Knowing you only live once in this game, Tom plays the Immunity Idol and it's a good thing since he definitely would've been out. The votes are 2-2 between Cirie and Colby and the final vote comes out... FOR CIRIE! Blindside!! Awesome. Totally didn't see this coming. I say this every season on the blog when the first blindside happens, but Survivor has officially begun!

Project Runway - Heidi sends the designers on yet another field trip to meet up with Tim Gunn and "one of America's favorite designers." Holy shit, is it Christian Audigier of the exquisite Ed Hardy brand?? Oh boo-urns, it's just Michael Kors. The challenge this week is to create a look and accessory made with materials from the hardware store. Lots of copper, sheet metal, washers... and string for macrame? Oh brother...

The designers whine a little about how hard it is to use these unusual materials, but most end up turning out some great looks. Mia makes her usual mod style using eye-catching black and white paint trays. Maya makes a fashion forward look with a mesh dress, what I call a spiderweb coat, and this crazy cool necklace made from keys. The winner of the challenge is Jay who fashions a smokin' hot pair of leather pants out of trashbags. Anthony makes it into the bottom 3 this week for a boring, purple duct-tape and mesh look that Michael Kors calls "bad prom dress." Emilio makes an atrocious pink rope and washer macrame bathing suit (because he didn't have enough materials but a dress, but shh- don't tell the judges that). A whorish bathing suit isn't enough to send someone home as it's Jesse's copper and mesh Tin Man, tutu, and many more unflattering nouns that gets AUF'D.


Photo Credits: ABC, BuddyTV, CBS, MyLifetime, NBC, Survivor.com

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