June 23, 2010

Reality Rundown: That Tattooed Bachelorette Guy Gets Dumped on a Glacier

The Bachelorette

The Bachelorette - The whirlwind voyage of love continues with stop #2 in Iceland, which Chris Harrison announced there will be a 1-on-1, group, and dreaded 2-on-1 date. To get the 1-on-1 date they need to write Ali a love poem, trying to incorporate Icelandic words, and recite it and she'd pick the winner. Kirk and Frank learned from Roberto last week and walk close to Ali, and after a quick decision, Ali chooses Kirk for the 1-on-1 date since his poem recalled their relationship and he compliments her "root beer eyes."

Ali and Kirk's 1-on-1 involves sightseeing around Reychavik and dressing like locals do, which means Cosby sweaters. They settle on matching grey sweaters, goofy hats, and feed geese. Kirk opens up to Ali at dinner, explaining that 5 years ago he got so sick he almost died. Long story short, Kirk lived in a house at college that was, unknown to him, deemed unlivable so he was breathing in asbestos and mold. Kirk said this trying experience made him realize what's important in live, leaving Ali moved and she gives him a rose, a kiss, and of course the matching sweater.

The group date card arrives at the guy's suite, and Roberto, Frank, Chris L, Chris N, Ty, and Craig get selected. This leaves Kasey and his tattoo to battle against "Rated R" Justin for the 2-on-1 date rose, where one of them will definitely be eliminated. The group date sends the guys horseback riding on a mountain, spelunking in a cave, and later indulging in a healing lagoon. The guys go ow-oooo-ga when they see Ali's bikini bod and rip off their clothes. Frank continues his tour-de-force whining, complaining again about his jealousy. Ali pulls Frank aside and, in so many words, tells him to grow a pair and be a little more agressive. Ty the cowboy gets the rose because he was there for Ali and they both hugged a lot in the lagoon.

Justin decides to up his game to get the rose, and really it seems like he doesn't care about Ali as much as he cares about humiliating Kasey. Justin gets his cast off, while Kasey continues to mentally breakdown about showing Ali the infamous "guarding and protecting her heart" tattoo. The 2-on-1 date involves another GD helicopter and I'm seriously wondering how much of this show's budget is dedicated solely to helicopter rides. The helicopter takes them right over the active volcano and it's pretty amazing. The helicopter even lands nearby so they can take in the sights, though Justin uses this time to ponder how much he has made Kasey mentally break down. They re-board the helicopter to fly to a glacier that's complete with an ice bar. Ali has her alone time with Justin first, and he totally schmoozes, saying what she wants to hear. Kasey's time finally arrives and as Ali begins to say what happened on the last date wasn't wrong, Kasey whips off his gloves and reveals the tattoo. Ali's response is "Whaaaat?!" and "your mom is gonna kill you." She respects who Kasey is as a person and thanks him "for being you." Ali re-convenes the guys with her rose and gives a little speech before handing that rose to Justin. Poor sad sap Kasey is left alone, dumped on a glacier. SERVED!

The pre-rose ceremony cocktail party gives the guys one last chance to impress Ali. Frank finally takes some initiative, while Craig hilariously shows Ali the fake tattoo he drew on his arm. Craig is totally the Bob Guiney of this season. Chris N, who has had maybe 4 lines all season, speaks this week, first with a terrible, awkward love poem, and at this cocktail party where he reveals he's funny and then sits in deafening silence. Ali is visibly uncomfortable at his hug attempt. Chris Harrison pulls Ali aside to talk out her feelings, where he continues to prod until Ali reveals that she's afraid to put herself out there and fears that at the end of this experience she'll fall for someone but that feeling won't be reciprocated. Tear.

There are 4 roses sitting on a slab of ice for Ali to hand out, with 1 guy going home and I don't even need to listen to Ali's sympathetic speech. Chris N is eliminated and left out in the cold (Iceland pun). In the limo he reveals that he's at a loss for words, which is hilarious since until this point he's barely spoken on the show.

Next week: Istanbul, Turkey! Frank pulls away! Someone has a girlfriend!

Photo Credit: Screencaps from Hulu