August 6, 2010

Reality Rundown: Double AUF'D!

The Next Food Network StarSo You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef DCProject Runway

The Next Food Network Star - Giada assigns the gang their camera challenge which is to create a signature dish representative of them. They get thrown a twist when they have to incorporate their least favorite ingredient, like okra or ranch dressing, but have a welcome surprise when their families bring out the nasty ingredients. Tears all around. Aria wins the challenge with her baked potato pizza and cheesy grin.

The Star Challenge is to create a dish based on an emotion and serve it to celebrity Chef Todd English and his celebrity business partner, Eva Longoria. Aria originally pulled the emotion "melancholy" but as winner of the Camera Challenge can switch her word, so she takes Herb's "joy" since god forbid she try being anything but super-duper happy. Herb aces melancholy, and Tom's jealousy tells this intricate, awesome story about his tuna. Aarti's food and presentation are meh, as is Brad's, but this show is totally obsessed with Aarti's warm personality and adorable, lovable Brad is sent home.

So You Think You Can Dance - Final 4! America has the power now, so prepare for the adorable to make the finals and not necessarily the best dance (coughAdeChickecouch). But really, aren't we just filling another week of Kent inevitably winning? He's a powerhouse. The 4 take the stage as a group for a Tyce Diorio (also a guest judge) routine to Guys and Dolls. It's fun and allows everyone to show their dance chops and personalities.

Lauren and dreamboat Pasha do a slow, super-sexy tango; if this show was in 3D, those corny glasses would be fogged up. AdeChike and Lauren have Afro Jazz, with a splash of Caribbean, about rejoicing about getting to the promised land (code word for the finale). It's fun and lively, but perhaps AdeChike's weird crop top held him back from really letting go emotionally. Robert is assigned ballroom again, this time a Viennese Waltz, choreographed by some dude I recognize from Dancing with the Stars. It's danced beautifully and not as boring as I would've expected, but the song they danced to ("Lost") as been used at least 2 other times this season; get a new CD, SYTYCD. To round up the first hour, Kent and Courtney get a lesson in disco, which Kent knows nothing about since he's so young. Guess what? No one does- DISCO IS DEAD! It died almost 30 years ago. Kent dances OK, but his lack of physical strength shows since there are barely any lifts.

Lauren's 2nd number is jazz, playing a black widow in a black lace unitard trying to seduce Ade. It's pretty good and has tutting (or what Lauren calls "hand choreography"), and Lauren gets the ultimate compliment: Adam Shankman wants to hire her. Screw the title, ya want work after this show! AdeChike's final performance is choreography by 2 phenomenal choreographers that inspired him to go into dance. He is given a challenge which showcases a variety of genres of dance. I don't know if it was just the music was too loud, but I didn't love it and neither did the judges, who basically give him goodbyes in his judging. Nappytabs' choreographs a stellar hip-hip routine about sad clowns, which sounds absurd but was awesome (even if there was no Fizbo. Kent and Neil end the night with a Travis Wall contemporary piece about fighting BFFs. It's another amazing piece and danced wonderfully, leaving Mia speechless. I never realized bros danced out their issues so poetically. I mean, it happened in Footloose but Kevin Bacon was solo in a barn.

Tis an hour of true filler. Janelle Monae is apparently a popular artist and her voice is so shrill and terrible- dear god, I've never hit the fast forward button so fast. The first dancer to advance to the finals is Lauren, and I get very excited by this because I thought the teen girls voting would stick to voting in hunks and not talent. More solos, then the 3 fellas come out and Cat announces Kent made the finale, which is sooo shocking (not). Dance star Desmond Richardson, who co-choreographed AdeChike's routine last night, performs and of course he's good cause's he a professional, but moreso since he was missing a pant leg. Flo Rida raps, I fast forward because I don't care- tell me who made the finals! Robert makes the finale and I am SO happy! He danced like he's never danced before (like a maniac) and deserved that finale spot. So here we go into the finale. Could Kent be upset for winner? We'll have to wait and see.

Top Chef DC - Apparently Ethiopian food is really popular in DC, so the Quickfire is to make an Ethiopian-inspired dish for the master of Ethiopian cuisine in America, Top Chef Master winner Marcus Samuelson. Alex is a spazz in the kitchen, Kenny makes another stupid duo, and Angelo apparently has dabbled in Ethiopian. Tiffany's goulash, the last dish tasted, is the Quickfire winner because Marcus kept wanting to eat it. She wins immunity which guarantees the one person with a fun personality this season will be around next episode.

Padma and Marcus turn around the chalkboard to reveal a map of the world; they will need to create a dish of a country represented on the map and make 100 portions. They'll be serving diplomats, dignities, and other classy people. Bad enough to serve the judges, now they have to worry about not completely failing a country's cuisine. They draw knives to determine order of selection and Tiffany is #1 because it's her lucky day. Kevin feels most uncomfortable with his country of India, but he picked it when there were 2 other options to choose from so suck it up. There's some concern that there's no heating, only chafing dishes, but some people throw caution to the wind. Chafing dishes be damned!

Kelly, Kevin, and Tiffany are the top 3. Tiffany's dish screamed Mexico (ole!), with chicken tamales. Kevin, who keeps reminding us his doesn't know Indian cuisine, makes a tasty take on the curry with his chicken. Kelly makes beef carpaccio for Italy that the judges felt really honored Italian roots with her personal touch. Tiffany is 2-fer this week, winning the Elimination Challenge too (which also comes with $10k, plus another $10k dedicated to a charity). The bottom 3 are sent in and they are: Alex (Gollum), Steven, and Ed. Steven had poorly executed rice for Brazil and made chimichurri, which Gail considers more Argentinian. Alex fails to impress the guest judge who is a master of Spanish cuisine. The meat was dry, the sauce was gross; his cooking skills suck. Ed called his dish "sweet and sour" but it was neither, and the duck wasn't rendered well. Steven is told to pack his knives and go, which makes it easier for me to try and tell him and Ed apart in future episodes.

Project Runway - The designers meet Tim, Heidi and the Editor-in-Chief of Marie Claire on a rooftop to receive their assignment: create a look that defines the Marie Claire woman. She consists of the most obvious adjectives: fashion forward, confident, and sexy. The winner gets an added bonus of having their look featured on a big ass billboard in Times Square. Everyone uses the word "huge" repeatedly. They only have 1 day to make their garment, so I guess they forgot to mention the Marie Claire woman is a major procrastinator.

I swear they showed Tim talk to all 16 designers and I paid attention to like 3. It's almost tedious to watch. 90 minutes of time wasting. I prefer a concise, well-edited 60 minutes. Tim's extended visit eventually has a point: they will have a photoshoot with a Marie Claire photographer of their garment and pick the best photo to represent the Marie Claire woman and the garment, which will be judged along with the runway. The show then continues with even more filler- it's like torture for me. Sorry to complain readers, but you must think this is dull too. We get a sneak peak of all the looks during the photoshoot, but unlike Tim Gunn, I am not critiquing them all. Just know, there's good ones and complete duds.

The runway show, no surprise, goes on for ages. How do they expect me to focus this much when I am also checking Big Brother HOH results? Onto the results, best first. Valerie's bright red inspired-by-a-trenchcoat dress is fantastic; it would be eye-catching on a billboard for sure. Last week's winner Gretchen is in the top again, with a leaping model in a denim jumpsuit with day to evening cleavage. Mondo is one of the best, which surprises me cause I thought this look could go either way. He's inspired by Mary Tyler Moore, which I see in a bold 60s print and a kinda ascot thing. Gretchen is the winner again, and everyone is happy, but some designers (and me) think Valerie should've won. Onto the crappy stuff. Peach has this polka dot dress that is straight up fug. There's weird brown pleating that adds nothing to it's already ugly-ness. Bad-attitude Jason is inspired by infinity (the figure 8) shape; there is an infinite amount of terrible things I could say about it. Simply put, it looks like a shitty, poorly constructed spacesuit. Nicholas' outfit has too much stuff. It's a skirt, blouse, cape and so dull. The blouse is nice in the front, but a mess in the back which Michael Kors think the model ate. Jason and his infinity dress and sent packing, which means we don't need to hear his whining or see his stupid bowler hat anymore. Just when I was about to delete my recording and watch something else, we return to the runway where Nicholas is eliminated too and begins to sob. DOUBLE SERVING!

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