August 9, 2010

Reality Rundown: Is T-Shirt Time the New GTL?

8/09/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Jersey Shore

The guys get home from the club and Sloppy Joe aka Ronnie decides three-way kissing grenades isn't enough play for one night, so gets into bed with Sammi and tells her nothing happened at the club. I think they might just snuggled and kiss, but it's messed up. The next morning, Ronnie is hung-ovaaa and gets a recap of last night courtesy of Pauly D's phone call to his friend. Sammi also lets Ronnie know about his dickish behavior at the club, but he doesn't seem to care. The guys hop into the Escalade and discuss the night and think the only way Sammi might learn the truth is if Angelina opens her big mouth. Ronnie is going to tell Sammi half the truth and say he danced with girls; "deny, deny, deny" he says.

Snooki, JWoww and Sammi go shopping and opt to shop at a sex shop for clothes, where Snooki buys a $395 pair of sunglasses decked out in crystals. Well worth it. JWoww buys some slutty clothes. It's a successful shopping day. The guys, meanwhile, went grocery shopping to make chicken, steak, and possibly pasta. The fact that no one said "traditional Italian dinner" angers me to no end. Bad news: the marinated chicken falls out of the fridge when Snooki goes on a pickle hunt. Far more than 5 seconds passes, so they pick the chicken up off the floor and leave it on the counter. After a mutual decision, the guys decide to dump the chicken. Umm, good call.

While doddling around the house, Sammi finds everyone's phone books so Sammi decides to read Ronnie's and finds the number for Ronnie's ex-girlfriend. She confronts Ronnie, who is taken aback that she would go through his phone book. Sammi doesn't know why he's talking to his ex. I don't know why I'm even summarizing this. Later on, Sammi apologizes for earlier and Ronnie explains he did call his ex once to talk about his breakup with Sammi. They both love each other, but don't know what to do. They want to try and work on things, I feel like I am writing fan fiction. let's us know life isn't like Saved by the Bell and they aren't Zack and Kelly. How dare he compare himself to the most legendary couple in history!! Later, Ronnie takes a page from Casey on The Bachelorette and gets a tattoo of praying hands in a painful spot, cause he was in a bad mood and wanted to feel pain. Sammi plays sidekick and holds his hand while he gets it done. Sammi lets him know she'll always be there for him, even when they hate each other. Well, who's going to be there for me because I hate recapping Sammi/Ronnie drama.

The girls talk about Angelina and wish she would've apologized when she moved in for all the shit she talks. JWoww lets Snooki know that her friends have hear Angelina talk smack about Snooki's new boyfriend, and this sets her off. Decked out in her crystal glasses, Snooki heads to the backyard to give Angelina a proper Jersey Shore welcome. Angelina deny, deny, denies and says it's "high school shit," to which Snooki says, "YOU'RE high school shit." JWoww jumps in to help her best friend, dropping names of who Angelina's said stuff to, but Angelina wants to keep the peace; JWoww lets her know she'll beat her ass. Snooki goes inside to answer the ringing phone and who's it for? Of course Angelina. Snooki says, "No, she died" and hangs up. I love you Snooki.

JWoww lets the guys know that Ronnie told her about his night of mischief, so her and the guys (and Snooki) laugh about his grenade action. Pauly D and The Situation aren't about pulling grenades in Miami, promoting a Grenade Free America. The Situation wants to tells the girls what Ronnie said before getting in the house, about getting some from Sammi, but Vinnie and Pauly D urge him not to tell. He won't shut up though, keeps dropping hints, earning him a new nickname: The Instigation.

There's no free ride in Miami as the gang has a new job. So long t-shirts and monogrammed booty shorts, hello gelato. He worries the required hats won't fit over Pauly D's fantastic hair, but Pauly assures us it won't move. Other random moments this episode: the bathroom door frosted glass still lets you see some nudity and Angelina is a phone hog.

Fast forward to later in the night for the latest sensation: t-shirt time. To define, it's when you sit around in a wifebeater and then right before it's time to go out, you put on your nice, clean t-shirt. Could this be the new GTL? Rocking their clean shirts, the house heads to a club where Angelina makes some new friends and takes shots and dances with some girl. Dancing is a bit much because she keeps falling over. Sloppy Josephine, am I right? The Situation makes out with a sloppy girl who rolls off the couch, exposes her lady biz, then falls to the floor. Pauly gets some smooches and a number from a girl, but Angelina's new friends tell her the girl is engaged, so she tells Pauly. Obviously, Pauly D doesn't need Angelina getting in his business, but Angelina says she's his true friend and then says "I love you." Whooooa.

Pauly tries to escape Angelina, to little avail. She keeps bringing up he kissed a girl about to get married, so he brings up the most valid point ever: wasn't Angelina dating a guy who was actually married? Busted. Angelina is a drunk mess, blabbing that she could marry Pauly D, and he and The Situation want her to check herself since she's annoying. Behind her non-crystal sunglasses, Angelina cries so The Situation begs her to go to bed since she's a sloppy slapping-people mess. Pauly D is over her and declares his friendship with her over and that she's alone in this house. Hopefully she moves out cause she's such a buzzkill.

Best moment of the night: The Situation calls to place an order for dinner and when asked his name he says, "Situation." "The name?" "Yes, that is Situation. Capital S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n." It's a veritable whose on first for this generation.

Photo Credits: BestWeekEver,