August 24, 2010

Bachelor Pad: Love (and $250k) Don't Come Easy

8/24/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Bachelor Pad - Week 3

Gia's Legend of Billie Jean rally cry makes her the #1 target of the men. Her stress takes on a new focus when Chris Harrison and Melissa inform them there are 2 roses up for grabs in this week's challenge: a kissing contest. Best kisser gets a rose. God, this show doesn't even mask it's true intent. Hook up or go home. Poor Gia with a boyfriend!

The girls get blindfolded and go down the line for smooches. Elizabeth moans through all her kisses, except #5 who was the Weatherman; she picks #4 which is her obsession, Kovacs. I think this challenge is supposed to be sexy but it's really odd. It's like an 8th grade makeout party (or 6th grade if you're Kovacs). Ashley is a teacher and decides to not kiss a bunch of dudes on TV and ruin her career; Kovacs calls this lame, saying she flirts in little bikinis all day. Um, kinda different. Tenley laughs through all the kisses, but #3 gets her all happy and it was Kiptyn, who she is smitten with already. Because Gia has a boyfriend, her kisses are all tame aka Dave's tongue stays in his mouth.

Guys turns to get smooches. Tenley eats the guys faces off which impresses Natalie, but Natalie basically calls herself a whore who would kiss everyone in the house for "like $20." Gia can't force herself to hoe it up for the contest and is surprised how many "porn stars" are here; cut Elizabeth gets down and dirty. Gia drops out mid-contest, realizing she can't betray her boyfriend for this shitty gameshow she already knows she lost. The person most excited for this contest? Weatherman and boy does he get some kissin' (and maybe a little something extra). Person least excited for this contest (besides Gia)? Germaphobe Wes, who goes dead last for the most sloppiest seconds of all time; like sloppy 14ths. Kissing contest winners: David (who insists this is better than winning a pie eating contest) and Peyton (who was gentle not sloppy).

Dave's date card reads "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." He brings along Nikki (for her class aka helping their game last week), Krisily, and Natalie. They take a private jet and limo to the Mirage Hotel which I'm pretty sure hasn't been cool since 1996. No Sigfried and Roy, no deal. They head to Bare, a topless pool, because as mentioned before this show isn't hiding what it's supposed to be. Natalie has history with Dave and since her thing with Jesse is done, she's down for a good time. Krisily didn't understand that Dave kissed all the girls the same way and feels a real chemistry. The magic of blindfolds! Krisily gets alone time with Dave, but Natalie being a drunk fool running on the pool deck (which you should never do!) distracts him. Natalie genuinely likes Dave, really wants the rose, and loses the top in the pool. The night ends with some big ass villa and the rose, which obviously goes to Natalie cause I bet someone is renaming this Fantasy Suite the Bone Zone tonight.

Peyton's date card says "Gentlemen, start your engines." She selects Kovacs, Kiptyn, and Jesse B. Talk about playing the game- 2 Insiders?! Message received, Peyton- you're here to win. Peyton and her men go to a drag racing strip, because they live their life a quarter mile at a time. Jesse B has a crush on Peyton and is really hoping for a fantasy suite to get their relationship started. Insert car metaphor here. Kipytn is grateful for getting to come on the date, knowing that his position with Tenley would jeopardize his chance at dates. He's actually not sure if he's ready for a relationship with Tenley and doesn't want to be pegged for that. It's pretty believable til he lets us know he's lying for the rose. Ohhh manipulator! Peyton thinks Kovacs is a good looking guy and tries to get a feel for how tight he is with Elizabeth in regards to the game; he quickly realizes he'll never get a date rose. Jesse B is so smitten with Peyton, they kiss, Jesse gets the rose, and it looks like another romance is blooming in the Bachelor Pad. Upon returning to the house there's a Fantasy Suite card for Peyton and Jesse, so he lets her decide whether to take the card; Peyton says yes and they just get to hang out in a more secluded bedroom of the house. Hardly the Bone Zone Villa.

In other news, Tenley thinks Kiptyn will forget about her on the date with Peyton, so she sneak cuddles him and he's not into it. He doesn't want a target on his back by coupling with Tenley since the Outsiders are targeting the couples. Tenley is a a jealous clinger, figuring Kiptyn will fall madly in love with Peyton in mere minutes. Grow a pair, Tenley. HBIC Elizabeth wonders if Kovacs can resist temptation on the dates, but she's not as whiney as Tenley. Kovacs resents Elizabeth's presence because she's ruining his game, while she believes she's helping him yet is total bipolar about her feelings.

Wes and Gia have a heart to heart and he hopes to keep her in the house, while also wishing she didn't have a boyfriend. Gia's a realist and knows if there's a tie vote the rose-holder breaks the tie and she's not on good terms with Dave. And then, the moment we've all been waiting for: Wes busts out his guitar and gives us a riveting performance of "They Say Love Don't Come Easy." Gia is so moved by his song, calling him "the modern day Shakespeare, but better." You know, since Shakespeare was a huge country/western fan. Gia admits without a boyfriend she'd go for Wes and his guitar playing makes her cry, or it might just be the deep intense lyrics. Gia's confused about her "hunny back home" and "amazing" Wes. Pick Wes- he's got a sweetass guitar!

Wes gets his game-face on to try and save his beloved Gia and approaches Peyton and Natalie about breaking up the couples. Natalie realizes she needs to keep her new relationship with Dave on the DL to save her butt in the game. Elizabeth is worried she could be voted out this week so hopes the guys like her more than Gia. Wow, a sweet beautiful girl vs. a nasty controlling bitch with a scary dye job. Tough call. Gia tries to smooth things over with Kiptyn to perhaps earn a vote, but he's not sure why she tried to get him voted out, but the conversation repairs their relationship a smidge.

Elimination night! Weatherman worries he's on the chopping block, while the guys are deciding between voting out Gia or Elizabeth. The Insiders are casting their votes for the Weatherman, knowing that they need to keep the couple guys around for the vote block. The Outsiders cast their vote for Kovacs since he's aligned with bitchy Elizabeth. Wes becomes #1 on Elizabeth's hitlist because he's gunning for her to go home to keep Gia around. Wes threatens Kovacs, guaranteeing that if Kovacs doesn't get rid of Elizabeth tonight they'll vote Kovacs out next week. The Insider guys vote for Gia, while the Outsiders vote Elizabeth. Kiptyn is the swing vote and seems to be the only guy listening to Wes' argument for Gia to stay.

As the roses get handed out, the bottom 2 men are Kovacs and Weatherman and when they call Kovacs name the sad realization the we'll lose the quippy one-liners of the Weatherman sets it. The girls are tied: it's Gia or Elizabeth and the rose holder on the men's side, Dave, casts the deciding vote. With no real time to ponder, Dave gives a little soliloquy about life not always being fair and such a phrase is true when he keeps nasty Elizabeth in the game, sending Gia home. The Weatherman goes home broke and without love, while Gia is sad she couldn't tell Wes her true feelings for him. Love don't come easy, indeed.

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