August 3, 2010

The Bachelorette: Roberto Martinez's Baseball Card Suddenly Skyrockets in Value

The Bachelorette
FinaleAfter the Final Rose

Finale - The fellas get to meet Ali's family, who are probably going to be nice on the guys since they got a free trip to Bora Bora. Whaddayaknow her family loves both guys. Ali's dad seems to be a Roberto fan, while her siblings like Chris. Ali's mom likes both guys, and really likes asking questions about Chris' dead mom. Poor guy has to live it over and over on this show. Both guys receive a marriage blessing from Ali's dad, ready to propose at the end of the week (or from Chris we learned 3 days).

Ali and Roberto meet up and hop on a jet ski, flying across the water. They come across a batch of stingrays and hop right in to swim with them. Not Steve Irwin fans are ya? Don't worry- I saw the tails were clipped. This is so spontaneous that Roberto even has chum to feed them- bet he caught those little fish with his bare hands. They ditch the stingrays for a private island picnic in the rain, and of course makeout in the ocean cause that's what they do best. The night concludes with Roberto setting up his hotel room with some flowers, candles, snacks, and of course beer to make sure he can really convey his love for Ali. Ali worries he doesn't feel the same way for her that she feels for him. Roberto gives Ali her prerequisite final 2 last night gift and no it is not another baseball card. It's a photo of them at the heart-shaped lagoon, probably making out. He professes his love for Ali, they make out a lot. I'm assuming far more happened cause these 2 can't keep their hands off each other. Ali voice-overs that she knows she has a date with Chris tomorrow, but she can't bear to part from Roberto.

Chris is waiting for Ali, voice-overing how she's his soulmate, how excited his family will be when he proposes, how we wants to smother her with love, all that stuff. Ali finally arrives for the date and she's not so lovey- like asking "how are you?" and beating around the bush. Chris sees it in her face: something is up. Ali lets him know her family loved him, her feelings are crazy, ramble ramble ramble. Her rambling is obviously implying he's getting dumped before the rose ceremony. Ali informs Chris she is in love with somebody else. So much for a fun date in Bora Bora. So lets him go now instead of him showing up with the intent to propose the next day and getting a ring box slammed shut in his face. He thanks her for being honest, they hug, she cries, she thanks him, he thanks her again. Super polite. Ali leaves and I thought Chris was almost going to pull a Mesnick, but he just did some deep thinking on a railing. He's glad Ali didn't lead him long another day and hopes Roberto reciprocates her love. 10 minutes after Ali leaves a rainbow appears, something Chris sees as symbolic of his mother- the women of America weep. This goes on for a long time as the most obvious set-up for Chris as the next Bachelor ever.

Ali, posing all around Bora Bora, is going on and on about how she hopes Roberto proposes and finds a magical end to this love story. Roberto gets a visit from jeweler Neil Lane, the guy who will get this ring back in 11 months. Roberto shirtlessly ponders how big a step this is and hopes he doesn't make a mistake or something. I don't know- I wasn't paying attention. Speed up show! Ali gets dolled up in a flowy gold gown and heads into the Hilton to a decked out deck for her proposal.

Roberto arrives via boat decorated in palm fronds (no helicopter in this finale!), gets greeted by Chris Harrison (he's picking up his paycheck at the Hilton front desk), heads up the stairs, professes his love and fond memories, and sweats a ton. Ali tells Roberto he's the only guy here today and she loves him. He proposes, she giglled, she accepts (excellent ring choice, Roberto!), they make out, and fondly flashback over their relationship with "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" in the background... because they performed in The Lion King together. This might've ruined the finale for me, but just remembered "On the Wings of Love," laughed, and realized the trainwreck of last season.

After the Final Rose - The Frank bomb is the first topic and Ali seems pretty over it, really wasn't sure if she would've given him a rose that date, and thinks he had some baggage from before with his ex and didn't think he might have feelings on the show. Chris Harrison decides to dig the knife deeped for Frank by revealing Frank was supposed to come to the AFTR taping but backed out last minute because "he has chosen not to face you." Ali wishes he was here to clear the air, maybe get some clarity, and move on but sees this as another selfish move. Ali forgives him, is happy he found love, and happier that she found love.

Chris gets his solo interview time with Chris
Harrison and opens up about that last date when he got dumped. Chris definitely would've proposed to Ali, had he been picked, but understands you can't control love and Ali just felt stronger for someone else. When asked if he's over Ali, he dodges the question kinda, but again, total set-up for "finding his soulmate" next season on The Bachelor. They bring Ali out, who is all smiles and praising of Chris. No drama, only good things.

Ali and Roberto are happy in love and had an instant bond that first night that they realized it was meant to be. They're excited to be out in the open and able to be around each other instead of sneaking around. They replay the proposal, which makes Ali cry again and so happy she found unconditional love with Roberto. The separation has made for interesting dates which includes
going to the movies at the same time, but him on the east coast, her on the west. The happy couple is moving to San Diego (which is of course German for "whale's vagina") where Roberto's opened a new insurance office, are planning a wedding but not rushing into things (just like Jillian/Ed, Jake/Vienna), and ready to live normal lives again. And suddenly, it is like The Bachelorette producers read this blog, knowing I live for ridiculing their helicopter dates. Chris Harrison announces a treat: there is a HELICOPTER waiting outside to take them to the beautiful island of Catalina (home of the annual Wine Mixer). Because the only feeling greater than the love found on a reality TV show is a free helicopter ride.

Photo Credits: BuddyTV