August 6, 2010

Reality Rundown: So Long Not-So-Secret Showmance

8/06/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Big Brother 12 - Week 4

The show flashbacks to Andrew's eviction speech, which led to a heated argument while votes were being cast, and Kristen and Hayden deny their showmance. After the HOH competition, Rachel and Kristen fight for almost half an episode. Rachel advises Kristen, who she thinks is a floater, to "grab a lifevest." Kristen don't take sass from no one and goes nuts on Rachel. It's really repetitive and involves Rachel fake crying with her crocodile tears. Rachel insists Kristen told her point-blank that she'd nominate her, but flashbacks show Kristen never made this statement. Kristen and Hayden's showmance is now on everyone's mind, and Hayden sees a target on himself that didn't exist before.

Since there are no Have Nots this week, the HGs compete in a luxury competition for a screening of the Will Ferrell/Mark Wahlberg cop flick The Other Guys. Ferrell and Wahlberg even tape a video message, pretending they actually know Big Brother is still on the air. The competition is an obstacle course where teams of team run in a car. I don't know how to explain it, just know that the Kristen/Ragan/Kathy team is epically embarassing. Enzo, Brendon, and Lane win the exclusive screening and Rachel gets to go too since she is HOH. Let's hope Brenchel can keep their hands to themselves in the movie theater setting.

Hayden apologizes to Rachel for his "heat of the moment" comments, but it's just him covering his ass. Rachel tries to apologize to Kristen but Kristen tells her to eff off. She also refuses to see Rachel's lame HOH room, which the others do begrudgingly. The reveal of the HOH room is always like a shitty easter basket so I can see why no one cares. Hayden convinces Kristen to talk to Rachel, thinking maybe she can save herself, so Kristen approaches Rachel nicely, which makes Rachel flip-flop on her decision again. Ultimately, Rachel makes a snippy nomination speech challenging her nominees (Kristen and Hayden) to try and get her and Brendon, and he's none too pleased. It's hard to not be a target in the game when you're a giant bitch.

Brendon is upset for Rachel's POV speech and they bicker with him constantly reminding Rachel he loves her and her rolling her eyes. Yeah, you two will definitely last outside the BB house. The Power of Veto competition is titled "Wizards of Pinball" (so they won't get sued) and the HGs, dressed like whorish wizards, playing shoot a giant pinball and the lowest score is eliminated each round and takes a prize. It then continues like White Elephant, where you steal gifts. Brendon takes hosting duties way too seriously with some weird voice. If the physicist thing doesn't pan out he's a sho-in for a job at Medieval Times. Kristen is first out and holds the veto for a long time, while Ragan gets a 2nd chance but declines $5,000 in favor of a Veto Ticket, which guarantees he gets to play next week. He gives the $5k to Rachel, who tried to beg not to get it. In the end the prizes are: Britney- veto, Hayden- 24 hour solitary confinement, Rachel - $5k, Ragan - Veto Ticket, Enzo - 3D TV, and poor Kristen gets the Hippie-tard. More on that to come.

Hayden is immediately shuffled off into the Have Not room, which will be his solitary home for 24 hours. At least he gets a private, cameraless toilet behind a curtain and french bread! Kristen picks up her hippie-tard, which might be the worst costume yet. It's a tie-dyed unitard which isn't too bad, until they put her in a Little Orphan Annie afro wig. TERRIBLE. What's even more hilarious is she has to seriously campaign to stay in the house dressed like a fool, maybe even get evicted in it. I think this is far worse than Casey's banana suit last year. The humiliated showmance speak to each other much like prisoners would, also sticking their fingers under the door to touch. How adorable.

Hayden is released from solitary just in time to collect his luxury competition prize of the private screening of The Other Guys in the HOH room, along with Rachel, Brendon, and Enzo. Enzo is stuck sharing a couch with Brenchel and he hopes they watch the movie instead of suck face. I actually heard this movie is pretty funny, but the HGs overlaugh and call it "the best movie they've ever seen" and it's like, enough already, we know they paid for the sponsorship.

The fun ends 2 hours later and the game starts again. Hayden approaches Britney to use the veto to save him and put root beer loving Kathy up on the block instead. Britney's suggestion is for Hayden to make a fake deal with Brenchel to not nominate 2 weeks, which is really a round about way for Britney to guarantee her safety. Kristen and Hayden visit Brendon and Rachel, dying her hair an even brighter, more obnoxious shade of red, trying to make a faux-alliance and save themselves. Showmance alliance? Hayden reports back to Britney it's a success, but when Britney talks to Rachel, Rachel throws Britney's pal Lane into the mix as a replacement nominee, so Britney changes her mind and decides to not use the veto and leave the nominations as-is.

Hayden is sure he's safe this week, so chooses to not campaign, but Kristen can't leave the game without fighting. She begins to sense maybe the 4 guys are aligned together, but she's shot down. Also not into Kristen? Her far-hotter-than-Hayden boyfriend at home and Hayden's mom; neither are enjoying her showmance very much. Despite her valiant efforts and decent points of why she should stay, Kristen is evicted in a 6-1 vote. In her goodbye videos, Matt cites the curse of costumes on the show, Rachel again screams about getting between her and her man, and Hayden reveals the Brigade.

Julie Chen, adorned in one of those large green army duffle bags, keeps teasing this will be the most powerful HOH of the summer. If the person opens Pandora's Box, they'll get some fantastical game-changing power, which will unleash the saboteur. Ragan is the HG voted by America to be the next saboteur, with Enzo closely behind him. The question is, will he accept if Pandora's Box is opened? I hope he rejects it cause it would be so hilarious. The HOH competition is endurance again, making me think they want Brendon and Rachel to continue to dominate the show. In a challenge that doesn't look as shoddy as usual, the HGs must stand and hold on to a giant spinning paint can while getting shot and slapped in the face with a giant paint brush and paint. Last on is HOH, 1st to drop is the only Have Not of the Week. As I say every week, Team Anyone But Brendon for HOH! Don't have live feeds and can't wait until Sunday for the results? Here's the newest HOH.

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