September 16, 2010

Reality Rundown: The 10 Week Nap Called Big Brother 12 is Over

9/16/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Big Brother 12 - Finale

It's the finale and it's time for the Brigade to begin to crumble since 1 person will get eliminated before the final 2. In their stupid hand-drawn Brigade t-shirts, Hayden makes a deal with Lane but Lane's not sure if he'd beat him. Enzo doesn't want to roll over and die because he created the Brigade and GD it, he's gonna make an effort to win. Enzo approaches both Lane and Hayden to make his case, snoooooze. I don't care. Get to the final HOH comp and jury, this season's a snore.

Jury house! Tensions have settled and Ragan is processing forgiving Matt. Britney arrives in her "Bra-gade" alternate shirt and explains to the jury the secret alliance that is the Brigade. Everyone is pretty stunned, especially Ragan who realizes Matt was using him. Poor Ragan looks like someone kicked his puppy; he realizes in this game he was expendable to any person he aligned with. Matt takes offense to Enzo's claim that he formed the entire alliance, cause he's the brains- a genius! The genius has to again reveal that he lied about his wife, which Britney responds is "horrible" and "baaaaaad" but she doesn't seem as shattered as say Ragan and Kathy. Britney is disappointed that she's arrived at the jury house to find Rachel not pregnant. Oh Britney, you rule. The jury gets dressed up and discusses the final 3 and Rachel thinks it's not very strategic if they lose everything, but Britney and Ragan realize they ran the whole house with the side votes. All 3 are debated, giving pros and cons like Enzo wins shit but has an excellent social game, while Hayden charmed them, and Lane didn't burn any bridges. It's a tough decision to vote for such losers.

Hayden and Lane compete in the final round of the HOH competition: how well do they know the jury? The jury member will complete a sentence and they must choose A or B to select the ending. It's kind of a crapshoot of questions, yet at the same time some are soooo obvious which leads to a tie-breaker question. Julie asks the HGs to name how many times Big Brother slammed them into the walls during part 1 of the HOH competition. Seriously? Worst. Question. Ever. Hayden says 91, Lane says 55; 250 is the correct answer and Hayden is heading to the finale. But who will he pick? Doesn't matter because this game has already been won in my eyes. Lane and Enzo make their final plea and Hayden casts his vote to evict Enzo (who he believes will win the $25k fan fave prize), bringing Lane to the finale.

Julie interviews Enzo, who is as arrogant as you'd expect. He believes he's played one of the best social games ever, but is a grenade at competitions. He brags about creating the greatest alliance ever and is so sure he would've swayed the jury. He also promises to dirty dance with every person at the after party. No thanks. Enzo doesn't have to sit with Julie long, as the jury is brought out and he joins them to cast his vote for $500k.

The jury is brought out with one empty seat, which is quickly occupied by Enzo. The group was tasked to come up with 6 questions and each will ask 1 question to the finalists. Lane is asked why he didn't win competitions and who Hayden would've liked to see as final 2 (non-brigade) so he says Brendon and Britney. Matt asks Lane if he would've taken Britney or a Brigade member to the final 2 and he's pretty non-committal unless Julie pries; he would've picked a Brigade member because he's "100% Brigade" ("well not 100%" - Matt). Kathy asks a dull question, Britney asks what was Lane's biggest contribution to the Brigade (laughter and watching after them is his answer, which makes me laugh cause that is a terrible response). Ragan asks if they regret saying anything behind jury members backs; Hayden doesn't have a specific example but says the DR has some stuff but everyone does it and it's part of the game. Enzo finishes it off by asking if what Lane said in his goodbye message is true, would he have taken Enzo to the final 2? Lane says he would've lost to either of them, so we'll see what happens.

Hayden and Lane get to make a final plea for a jury vote and at this point it's like, who gives a shit? Hayden's argument is he won 5 competitions, 3 HOHs in a row and a veto that carried the Brigade to final 3. He then rambles about shit-talking, etc. Lane's speech is about how awesome everyone else was and he wanted to win comps, it just didn't happen that way. The jury casts their votes and get to make 1 witty final statement.

But the votes aren't revealed yet because we need to suffer through the 4 pre-jury HGs that no one gives a shit about. The 4 HGs that have experienced the outside world get some flashback clips to their memorable moments (barely any, which is why they were evicted). It's revealed Hayden and Kristen did indeed have a showmance and Andrew shocks them all by revealing he is a podiatrist, not a shoe salesmen, and mentions Matt's wife not being sick and indicates the correct pronounciation. It's a big reveal to the Brigade and Enzo assumed this could've been a saboteur move way back. Matt's defense is that he was garnering sympathy votes and didn't mean to hurt them. After discussing the vomit inducing Brenchel, the house FINALLY learns that Annie lied about life long friends AND the identity of the second saboteur and that they won $20k. The HGs maintain Kathy or Matt were the saboteur, but jaws drop when it's Ragan.

After dragging as for 2 hours and 10 weeks of boring, the winner of Big Brother is announced. A 3-3 vote leaves Enzo as the deciding vote for the prize. The winner of Big Brother 12 is Hayden, dressed to the 9s in a flannel shirt. Britney is then awarded the prize of America's Favorite Houseguest and gets $25k. I think the show should send me a small check for blogging and watching probably the dullest season of the show ever- even compared to season 1. At least season 1 had a literal pig for a week rather than a house of metaphorical ones.

As for the pre-show winner predictions, reader Russ was oh-so close with his initial pick for Lane. So close!