September 7, 2010

Bachelor Pad: Bet You Regret Not Eliminating Couples Now

9/07/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Bachelor Pad - Week 5

Chris Harrison enters the living room to announce "everything is about to change." There are 11 men and women left, but there's more women than men and it's time to even it out. 3 women will leave Bachelor Pad that day, so pack your bags and in a few hours you'll meet your fate. Hmm... how much should we bet the 3 remaining outsider women go home?

They contestants walk to the front driveway to find a game of Spin the Bottle. In the most completely bullshit move maybe ever to fix a game, the men will need to pick a female partner to complete the game with. There are 4 guys left, all in couples. FIXED. So the men spin the bottle (really a lazy Susan with a bottle nailed to it) and whoever it lands on gets to pick their partner by asking for a kiss; the 3 unpicked ladies hop in the next stretch limo home. I'm sure we're all in complete suspense about who they guys will pick. Kiptyn picks Tenley, though he briefly considers Nikki who saved him in the game. Kovacs picks Elizabitch. Jesse B selects Peyton, despite their botched date. Dave chooses always a drunk-bridesmaid-never-a-bride Natalie. The guys act like they are really torn but c'mon, as soon as Chris made the announcement it was obvious. Goodbye Nikki, Gwen (??), and Ashley. Guess you regret not breaking up the couples now, huh?

Kovacs and Elizabitch begin cramming facts about each other in case of trivia. Turns out Elizabeth retains very little information on Kovacs except what soda-can comparison goes with his abs. Natalie is psyched to be partnered with Dave both for game and personal reasons. Kiptyn and Tenley are so excited that they celebrate by sucking face on a bench while Tenley giggles. God, I want to slap the giggling out of her. Peyton is happy to be in the game, not as happy to be paired with Jesse B. The romance is completely out.

Chris explains the new rules of the game: only 1 couple wins a challenge, gets the date, and receive roses for safety. The 4 couples compete in their first competition: water balloon tossing. What's next, balancing eggs on spoons? Catch the balloons to stay in; 3 broken balloons before you're eliminated. Jesse and Peyton, donning matching orange shirts, are the first couple eliminated. Peyton is panicking, realizing that she's still an outsider in this group of couples. Kiptyn and Tenley follow them to the loser's bench. Dave and Natalie win the balloon toss and are heading on a hot date which I hope includes a helicopter ride!!

Peyton apologizes to Jesse for blowing it and he insists he doesn't blame her. They both accept they'll likely go home this week. Tenley and Natalie discuss gaming and Elizabeth and Kovacs pre-show 6 month relationship and strength make them more of a threat than Jesse/Peyton. Peyton pleads her case to Natalie, while Natalie acknowledges Kovas and Elizabeth are a threat. However, Dave is boys with Kovacs so will this plan fly? Natalie plans to make this a topic of discussion on their date. Elizabeth and Kovacs are more pre-occupied with boning; they head out front to chat and find a yellow Lamborghini, likely for Dave and Natalie's date. In a completely non-setup way, they makeout in the car first with her straddling him in the drive's seat and then on the trunk. Completely not set-up or orchestrated in those 2 minds to get camera time.

Dave and Natalie take the sloppy Lambo seconds and zoom off for their date. They drive like total a-holes, just like that episode of Full House where Stephanie and Gia meet 2 dudes at the mall and go joyriding with them. They drive to some mountain area or something, take sexy photos on the Lambo, and kiss in the sunset. The night ends at a mansion where Jason and Molly from The Bachelor fell in love (I'm assuming before he dumped her for Melissa, before dumping Melissa for Molly). They do shots, talk about they'd spend the prize money, and have serious talks about divorce and shattered families. Far from the bone zone, but they've bonded from this deep talk. They switch locations to the hot tub, perfect for some smoochin' and game strategy. Natalie proposes they play strategic and not just keep their friends. Dave lets Natalie know he made a pact with Kovacs to get to final 2 together, so he's not so down with that idea.

While Natalie and Dave are on their date, the house wonders if they'll go to the bone zone and pretend worry they'll be eliminated. Jesse/Peyton know this is BS because these couples assume they have a free pass to final 3. Kiptyn and Tenley make out in the pool and she hopes their relationship can continue after this show ends. Kiptyn is sure this is the start of something good. Elizabeth and Kovacs decide to sneak into the Fantasy Suite room for a Meat Suite Marathon. Wouldn't this suite probably be locked? Not set-up at all! They do some hardcore making out in the bathtub and head to the bed where Kovacs say they can get naked if she wants. She wants to make love and be in love, not just have sex. The lights go out, the duvet cover is moving around- sexin' officially happened. After, Elizabeth is upset and feels like Kovacs doesn't put forth any effort and I swear these 2 knew what they were doing for TV because this post-coital fighting seems stupid.

Dave and Natalie return from their date and visit Elizabeth, Kovacs and the broken bed in the Fantasy Suite. Kovacs and Dave also talk and agree to vote off Jesse and Peyton. Their plan to not have a plan has been "flawless." Natalie and Peyton talk, again, and Natalie sounds onboard to voting out Elizabeth and Kovacs and tells Peyton to approach Tenley and Kiptyn for a vote. Tenley seems maybe receptive to the idea because Elizabeth and Kovacs are a far greater threat. Tenley then babytalks the idea to Kiptyn who doesn't necessarily want to vote out Jesse and Peyton since they're good friends now.

Dressed in their fanciest party dresses and suits, the 4 couples prepare to vote. Kovacs is extremely overconfident about coasting to next week; it will be fantastic to see him knocked off his high horse. Natalie informs Dave she wants to eliminate Kovacs, but he can't do it. Good news is they don't have to vote as couples; they vote individually for a couple. Dave is still delusional enough to think Peyton and Jesse will go home by a landslide vote, but his partner Natalie is relieved for this individual vote. Tenley and Natalie make their own pact to switch up tonight's vote. I'm surprised Tenley isn't weeping yet, but Elizabeth must've been nasty to her. Jesse B makes one last plea to Kiptyn to keep him, offering to note vote for him next week to ensure his safety. After I jumped the gun and made the elimination graphic for Elizabeth and Kovacs, the game remains boring and Jesse B and Peyton are eliminated.