September 17, 2010

Reality Rundown: Happy Birthday - I Banged My F'ing Roommate

9/17/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Jersey Shore

So MTV decided it would be good to air a new episode before the VMAs which is great for them, annoying for recapping. Then they decided not to post episode photos or stream the episode online so no pictures were available. Days passed, still no photos. Luckily, FourFour recapped the episode so I used some screencaps from them. Thanks FourFour!

Angelina rolls out of Vinny's bed only to answer the phone call from Vinny's mom. News spreads quick in the house that Angelina and Vinny smushed. Snooki thinks Angelina's a whore for accepting gifts from Jose but banging Vinny. The Situation calls her a hypocrite for calling Vinny a scumbag, etc. then going to the bone zone with him. The guys laugh that Vinny visited the Staten Island Dump and Angelina laughs; bitch, they're calling you trash! The Situation declares Angelina proving the Ho equation that a nice guy who takes you out on 4 days, buys you stuff, cuddles but you bang a guy you hate. "You were gonna buy the kid a birthday gift. A Happy Birthday, 'I banged my f*cking roommate.'" Definitely a terrible birthday gift. They want to give Jose a head's up before he goes splurging on another Fossil watch. Snooki's reaction to Vinny and Angelina's hookup is wanting to vomit since she hooked up first. But I guess Angelina's a "loosey goose cause he got it in."

Pauly D doesn't like working at the gelato shop, but uses it to score. He collects the numbers and puts them in a tip jar. Just the tip jar, am I right?! Vinny's whole family arrives in Miami and surprises them at the gelato shop. He brings his mom back the house where she brings a shitload of food. Did she grocery shop or check these in baggage? Lady even brought an Entemann's cake! Vinny's mom begins to make dinner, while Angelina brings Jose over to the house the day after her Vinny hook-up. Soon Vinny's family begins to invade the house, yelling, gesticulating- true Italians. Vinny's Uncle Nino takes the cake. He sounds drunk, but I don't think he is (well not at first). He gives a delightful toast to all the roomies (including J. Lo) and dig into the giant meal, concluding in a dessert of Yodels. Yes, there were sausage and peppas.

JWoww invites Uncle Nino in the hot tub, which Ronnie points out is a creepy scene. INDEED. Uncle Nino is the left of the party, telling us this new quotable: "I went to the doctor. He said, 'Stop drinkin', stop doin' drugs, stop havin' sex.' You know what I did? I switched f*ckin' doctors." At some point Angelina SERVES a volleyball in Snooki's face and she doesn't want to start a fight, but it turns into an angry splashfest. Snooki wants Vinny's family to leave so she can lay the smack down.

After Vinny's family leaves the house gets ready to go clubbing and Angelina fears The Situation's big mouth so tells Jose he can't come out. Pauly and The Situation know any chick is better than no chick, so begin line up possible contenders to select from later. Angelina meets a new guy who she's attracted to named Alex, and is DTF. The Situation steals a hot blonde from Vinny who makes a sad face. They bring all their new guests home, including Angelina's new guy. The girls throw on their sweatpants which is code for gettin' down ta bizness. Unfortunately The Situation's girl has a boyfriend so both ladies leave. But hey, they've gone tons of numbers so eventhough it's 6am they start booty calling. A looooot of voicemails until one raspy voiced girl answers her phone and is willing to bring a hot friend over, but she brings no one since all her friends are grenades. Pauly gets it on in the room while The Situation watches while eating an egg sandwich. Bromance.

The house has a fun day at the beach before heading home to prep for another crazy night out. Angelina begs Mike not to tell Jose about her tryst. Jose comes to the club and he and Angelina are all over each other. The Situation likens Angelina to the Staten Island Ferry: everyone gets a ride, and it's free. Well, Jose still hasn't gotten a ride and he got her a Fossil watch. The Situation plants the seed with Jose, saying Angelina has something she has to tell him. She's pissed, Jose thinks he's getting played, so she admits she hooked up with Vinny, as Vinny dances like a moron next to them (genius GIF, FourFour). She says she's not a slut, but shit happens. They leave the club to talk and Angelina insists she's not into Vinny, and Jose hopes he doesn't find out she's kissing another guy tomorrow. That's right: Jose believes she only kissed Vinny, so she's in good shape.

The rest of the house heads to another club where Vinny sees the most beautiful girl he's seen in Miami (didn't he say that last week?). She's a go-go dancer there and he thinks he's met his future wife. Pauly D is lucky in love too- finding a cute Cuban girl who's down to earth and not just a one-night smush. He even declines having her over that night and asks her for a date the next night. Vinny and Pauly decide these girls are special so they double date. Vinny's so excited he starts breakin'. They're such girls- getting new outfits, hair cuts, flowers, laundry... so adorable. Bad news comes when they get home: Ramona cancels the date, leaving Vinny crushed. Ronnie encourages Vinny to still go out, just bring a different girl. Vinny calls her again insisting it's just dinner and he got her flowers, so it sounds like she changed her mind. He's a "bink" which I guess Italians say is fresh.

Pauly's squeeze arrives and they head to dinner. Poor Vinny gets stood up. He sips his red solo cup of sadness, checking his watch. Awww.

Photo Credits: BestWeekEver, FourFour