September 14, 2010

Bachelor Pad: We're All Winners When We Hear "Love Don't Come Easy"

9/14/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Bachelor Pad - Finale

Chris Harrison calls the remaining 6 into the living room to assign this week's challenge, which guarantees a spot in the final 4. The challenge: ballroom dancing. I wonder if dancer Tenley will be delightful at it. They'll train with a professional choreographer and perform for a panel of 3 judges. Best score goes to final 4. So into your dancing gearing, get into a limo (no helicopter - sad face), and meet the choreographer. Well wouldn't you know it's a Dancing with the Stars professional assigned to each couple. Shocker that Bachelor Pad would use it's final episode to promote DWTS, which takes its timeslot next week.

Jesse thinks Edynta is super sexy; Elizabeth isn't pleased and jealous. Perhaps it's because besides a smokin' bod, Edynta's hair doesn't look like it was bleach dyed. Childlike Tenley gets the young Chelsea to train her and Kiptyn. Dave/Natalie get Louis van Amstel (anyone miss his mullet? not me). Dave is ready to dance and not afraid to get in touch with his feminine side; I'm sure Louis felt flattered. Louis asks if his couple had sex in the house, Dave denies, Louis thinks he's a liar, and requests they dance like they are in the bone zone.

The 6 get gussied up in sparkly costumes and are ready to bust a move. The judges will base their votes on performance, chemistry, and effort (an effort score is for 4th graders). Oh and the winner isn't just in the final 4, they get to choose who to bring with them to the finals. What astute judges will make this powerful decision? Jilted Bachelorette/3rd place dancer Melissa Rycroft, famewhore Bachelor Jake Pavelka and 1st person ever voted off DWTS/successful Bachelorette Trista Sutter. Kipytyn and Tenley perform a foxtrot and it's danced really well, if you pay attention to dancing and not her terrifying spray tan. They score a 26/30. Kovacs and Elizabeth dance next, performing a rumba. It is in no way as sexy as watching Edynta dance, though Elizabeth's emotionless face gets a perfect 10 from me. They receive 24 points and lose! Yay! Dave and Natalie close off this spectacular dance off with a cha cha. I have no comments because the strobe light gave me Pokemon seizures, but Dave forgot some of the moves. Dave and Natalie score a 25. Kiptyn and Tenley giggle their way to the finals (well she giggles, he tolerates it).

Post-competition, Kiptyn and Tenley bask in the victory afterglow (by making out in a tub), while Elizabeth pouts and gets angry. Elizabeth is worried she disappointed Kovacs, but she thinks there's still a chance for them since they haven't won anything. Dave is disappointed in himself, blaming his mistake for their loss. Eh, kinda true. The couples in jeopardy worry it's over and are so glad they found love (yeah right). Dave and Natalie believe their "love" could last if they live in the same city, which this money would help do. Kiptyn and Tenley, wearing an 80's prom dress with horrific sleeves, now have to make the decision of who to bring to the live studio audience finale. Campaigning is done, Tenley got the puffy sleeves Anne of Green Gables so dearly desired, and big decisions are made. Kiptyn and Tenley decide to extend the roses for the finale to Dave and Natalie. Elizabeth and Kovacs are out and the only sad part of this is that Elizabeth's reign of terror extended to the final episode. But they found a relationship and I'm sure they're going strong (heh). The final 4 lovahs head off into the moonlight, ready to the finale.

Live studio audience finale! All the roseless men and women are on the stage for a little reunion and to help make one big decision. Taking a page from Survivor's book, the roseless shall act as a jury and ask angry questions before casting the vote to determine which of the final 4 will win the prize. Reunion stuff first! Elizabeth (with newly dyed to a normal shade hair) and Kovacs are no longer dating (whaaaaat?! I'm shocked), and in fact barely dated after the show. Gia half-acknowledges she mucked up the game, is single, and smooches "bad boys need some love" Wes who didn't get any from her in the kissing contest. No one else is important so they bring out the final 2 couples. Tenley and Kiptyn are dating for realsies, while Dave and Natalie say they are dating long-distance. Who cares about their love life: roseless people, it's time to grill 'em!

Questions and comments! Someone asks why Dave jumped to Natalie right after Jessie, and they sort of dodge whether they'll date afterwards. Jessie seems hurt and believes it was a game move, which Krisily is seething because Dave didn't give her advance notice about her elimination. Peyton doesn't love that Kiptyn lied to her about his in-house relationship, but tries to smooth talk it before Gia interjects that he voted off Nikki who saved him in the game. Michelle definitely will not be voting to Tenley to win, pissed at Tenley's gossiping ways. Tenley gives a pageant answer so Michelle says "what goes around, comes around, so I don't really care." Hey-o! Michele is the closest we get to a Sue Hawk moment.

Before the final vote, the couples get to plead their case for a vote. Dave and Natalie explain they had tons of fun and provided comic relief, will use the money to pay off debt and start a charity, and they played as honest and fair as they could. Gwen (??) choked up, pipes in that she was so upset that Dave made a comment about it being sad for people in their upper 30s being there. He won't exactly take it back, but says it's personal preference. Oh and the (??) should be (39). Kiptyn and Tenley give their speech, with her baby talk and shaking voice. Right before the show Tenley lost her house, then brings up the ex-husband bomb and how her and her parents made a failed investment in buying her home. The show does a good job editing this since Reality Steve heard a different story, with Tenley giving an obnoxious diatribe. Kiptyn plans to splurge a little then pay it forward with charity money. Juan brings up they Kiptyn, Natalie and Dave were great competitors and has no idea how Tenley was there. Jessie points out she won lots of stuff and don't question her like that. God, Tenley is truly a saint.

The votes are cast for the couple they want to receive the money. First couple to 8 votes moves onto the final step for a chance at the prize. Dave and Natalie win the vote, ending with a big Dave and Wes hug. Beef resolved! Onto the final stage: ripping another page from a show's book, Bachelor Pad goes all Friend or Foe for the final prize. Natalie and Dave are brought to separate delibartion rooms with 2 cards: keep or share. If they want to split the prize money, they pick Share and get $125k each. If they want to keep the money for to themself, throw up the Keep card; the person who chose keep gets all the money. However, if they both select Keep then they get $0 and the roseless get to split the money between them. The audience is hooting and hollering, clearly not Game Show Network fans. The roseless ponder what moves they'll make, with Natalie being the prime Keep suspect. Dave reveals first: SHARE! Natalie wants to explain, acting quite guilty. Well she SERVED us (not really): she picked SHARE TOO! Dave and Natalie split the $250k, with Dave planting a big kiss on host Chris Harrison. Hot.

Rounding out the season: one last performance of Wes' #1 hit sensation "They Say Love Don't Come Easy" complete with a castmember singalong.

So everyone, that was Bachelor Pad and I enjoyed the ride, eventhough I know most loathed. I didn't love how it basically rigged the show for showmances, but at least fun people won. Heck, it might not have been so fixed if Gia didn't blow it week 2. But, to maybe resolve some issues with the partners/showmance favoring, here's my suggestion for improving the show: pair up the contestants on day 1. It could be random, through a challenge, just some way to makes some crazy partnerships. THEN, when it gets to another point in the game, give them the option of keeping their existing partner OR switching up for a better player, a showmance, etc. Just my 2 cents!

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