March 30, 2010

Small Servings

3/30/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

March 29, 2010

Serving of the Week

3/29/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment

Name: Tyson, Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains
SERVED: Almost a year ago, Tyson from Survivor: Tocantins was almost SERVING of the Week, but narrowly missed out thanks to someone else's legal woes. The year has come full circle because this week Tyson got completely blindsided and now ranks as the 3rd dumbest Survivor ever (behind Micronesia/Fans vs. Faves Erik and China's James).

When both tribes were forced to go to Tribal Council this week and Boston Rob won individual immunity, the dominant alliance saw this as the perfect time to take out champion flirt, Parvati. The original plan was for everyone to vote Parvati, but tell Russell he was next out to get him to flush out the Hidden Immunity Idol. Boston Rob came to a realization that if Russell were to give Parvati his Idol then Russell, Parvati, and Danielle's 3 votes would determine who went home, so Rob came up with another plan. It was decided that 3 would vote Parvati, 3 Russell, and then Russell, Parvati, and Danielle would vote their way (Tyson). This would force a 3-way tie, a re-vote, and then a way to get rid of Russell. Russell decided to step up his gameplay too so pulled Tyson aside and said he'd vote out Parvati and this was a relief to Tyson who really wanted Parvati out.

No one expected Russell to give his Immunity Idol to Parvati, and when she had the Idol, all votes against her were null. But only 3 votes so the alliance could still make the re-vote happen... wrong! Tyson, at the last minute, switched his vote to Parvati making the now 4 votes for Parvati null. That meant there were only 2 votes for Russell and 3 for Tyson. SERVED! Tyson basically voted himself out of the game. What a moron! Tyson had been a favorite of mine since Tocantins but this was one of the dumbest moves EVER! The dumbass got outwitted bigtime: Tyson, got SERVED baaaaad!

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.


Photo credit: Survivor.com

March 28, 2010

Movie Scene Sunday: Space Jam

3/28/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served 1 comment

Last night my alma mater, West Virginia, defeated Kentucky to make it into the NCAA Final 4 for the first time in 51 years. Movie Scene Sunday had to be a basketball pick to commemorate the occasion (I couldn't think of any West Virginia movies). Instead of trying to think of a good movie, like Hoop Dreams, I thought of a movie with a great soundtrack that was torture to watch: Space Jam. So enjoy this scene where they think they drank a performance enhancing drink, parody pulp fiction, and basically pull some Harlem Globetrotter shenanigan moves.


March 26, 2010

Reality Rundown: Cupcake Karma

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest LoserAmerican Idol
Survivor: Heroes Vs. VillainsProject Runway

The Amazing Race - The contestants stick around for another leg in France, tasked to retrieve their next clue at the only outdoor statue of Joan of Arc in the town of Reims. If you ask Jordan of Team Big Brother who Joan of Arc is, expect her to talk about a guy bringing 2 of each animal onto a giant wooden yacht. The clue sends teams to a Road Block at a wine cellar where they must search for a bottle marked with a teeny Amazing Race flag and then they get to open the bottle with a sword. It is awesome and now a task for my bucket list.

The clue inside the bottle leads several teams back to Reims, which is incorrect. Most make up the time easily. The Detour is a choice of 2 Champagne region tasks: find a bunch of grapes with another teeny flag or make a 15-level high stack of champagne glasses and successfully pour the champagne on top without it breaking. The grapes turn out to be a far easier task than expected and most teams select this option, though the brothers choose to do the glasses and succeed. They now plan to offer their champagne skills are bar mitzvahs and weddings. Miss Teen USA team can't make up their mind about the Detour and after breaking the glasses opt to search for the grape bunch. Team Big Brother appears to catch-up and stupidly choose the glasses and fail. As the sun sets and night falls, Jordan and Jeff search for grapes in the dark but it doesn't really matter and Team Big Brother is eliminated from the race.

The Biggest Loser - All the losers get to go home for the week and get so excited. Do they forget whenever they go home they never work out, pig out, and end of being full of shame? I guess not.

Upon arriving home, the losers find giant crates in their house. The contents of the crate: a work-out bike, a DVD, and a box of delicious mini-cupcakes. The DVD is Alison telling the losers they have an at-home challenge for a chance to win $10k. The losers will need to ride a marathon on the work-out bike, 26.2 miles, and whoever is first wins. Wait, no because there is a temptation too. For every cupcake the losers eat (100 calories each) they can add 5 minutes onto another player's time. Strong Sam is the main target, but tons of cupcakes are eaten. Michael eats 6, Drea eats 9, and Lance eats 17! His wife may have claimed she didn't play the game by throwing weigh-ins, but it's so obvious now. So everyone rides the bikes in front of their hometown and while Sam comes in first, he got 50 cupcake minutes. The winner is Sam's cousin Koli, who thankfully had no cupcakes eaten in his honor.

The losers return to the ranch and did pretty well at home, but Lance feels guilty for abandoning his family again. At no point does he express any cupcake guilt, and I'm assuming Bob doesn't know about it either. At the weigh-in, everyone does pretty well at home. The Black teams shocks the world by completing dominating the weigh-in; Sam even loses 14lbs at home. So the Blue team is faced with elimination and for a split second it seems like Michael could go home, since his grandmother is extremely sick. It looks like cupcake karma has come back to bite Lance and he is sent snacking- I mean packing.

American Idol - There a bigger stakes in this week's episode as whoever gets axed this week won't get to go on the Idols Top 10 Tour. The theme is Billboard #1 hits and their mentor is... Miley Cyrus. Because she's such a legend of music. In all honesty, she wasn't a bad mentor at all I just don't think she is qualified. Anyways, the most random songs are selected and I only saw the 1st hour and it was horrible. Paige Miles had one of the worst performances in the history of Idol and was rightfully kicked off. Also, Miley had a really cool color nail polish.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - The episode immediately kicks off with the Russell vs. Boston Rob rivalry and it appears tonight, one of them is going down. At the Immunity Challenge, Jeff informs the survivors that both tribes will be going to Tribal Council tonight so 1 person from each tribe will win immunity. Candace, who was next on the Heroes chopping block, wins immunity and therefore moves Colby up in the rankings. Boston Rob wins for the villains and I cheer happily- suck it, Russell! The 2 winners also battle head to head: that winner and their tribe will get to watch the loser's Tribal Council and chow down on some hot dogs. Boston Rob wins again- talk about a hero!

At Villains camp the vote is obvious: Parvati. B-Rob warns Russell in advance, in hopes flushing the Idol out of Russell but Russell ain't dumb. He approaches Parvati and plans to give her his Idol to take out Tyson. Tyson?! Nooo! B-Rob is smart though and decides they need a back-up plan to make sure either Parvati or Russell leave. The plan is to split the votes evenly between the 2 and force a 3-way tie between Russell, Parvati, and Tyson and at the re-vote get rid of Russell. But right before Tribal, Russell considers the fact that these people could be smart and force the 3-way tie, so he makes his move: Russell pulls Tyson aside and assures him he's finally dumping Parvati. Please Tyson, don't buy this! You're too good for this! He's not. Russell sticks to his word and gives Parvati the Immunity Idol, nulling all the votes for her. There should be 3 votes, but there are 4... because Tyson got duped. He basically voted himself out of the game. Tyson's torch is snuffed and his misses out of the hot dog feast (but I guess he can eat whatever he wants at Loser's Lodge).

Colby brings all the Heroes together and aknowledges that he's going home, no need to scramble, let's just relax and not give the Villains any ammunition at tonight's Tribal Council. Candace, Rupert, Amanda and JT all talk and wonder if they should dump James because his leg isn't bad, he doesn't help around camp, and eats all the bananas without sharing. Amanda is so desperate and arguign hard for James to say without specifically dropping his name. Amanda warns James, so James decides to prove his worth by having a Survivor Olympics foot-race with JT... I don't know. At Tribal, James implies that Colby is a loser and a shadow of his former self, like seeing Superman in a girdle. He thinks Colby has given up and that he should stay in the game. At long last, James' and his ego are sacrificed to hopefully bond this team before the merge.

Project Runway - In terms of challenges, this was one of my favorite ideas (too bad I was so tired I slept through half of it). Anyways, each designer will use their [product placement!) HP Touch Desktop to design their own textile and create a garment with it. I must say, it's pretty awesome. What comes out of those textiles... not as awesome (for some).

Maya, who traditionally avoids prints, makes this amazing black and red print with shots of orange; her dress really pops, especially from a side view. Seth Aaron creates this really cool pop art design and uses it on a jacket and it's tonight where I officially decide SA is my pick to win. Emilio wins the challenge, which surprises me; he made this print with his initials that the judges loved (or if you're me and Tim Gunn, initially don't understand it and think it has Seth Aaron's initials).

Mila leads off the bad looks like a design that looks like a 70's sheet and it's such a cheap 70's design that not even cool in that retro-chic way. Jonathan's look is described as a woman in a straight jack wearing dirty dishtowel fabric (and insulting the fabric really hurts Jonathan's feelings). Anthony had a cool textile to start with, but ruined it with one of his typical sweetheart neckline dresses. In a move that surprised me, Anthony is sent home. No more sassy one-liners!


Photo credits: CBS.com, Examiner.com, NBC.com, MyLifetime, Survivor.com

March 23, 2010

March 22, 2010

Serving of the Week

3/22/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served 1 comment

Name: Jesse James
SERVED: Just weeks ago, Sandra Bullock won her Oscar for Best Lead Actress and gave a big thanks to her husband and inspiration, husband Jesse James. You might know him as the ex-host of Monster Garage, contestant on Celebrity Apprentice, and star of some show called Jesse James is a Dead Man. Well Jesse, you're a dead man now cause you got caught cheating. This week it came out that Jesse's been cheating on Sandy with some tattooed porn star. Poor Sandra Bullock! This really came out of left field and it sucks that she thanked this cheater in her Oscar moment of glory. Jesse James, you might not have been SERVED divorce papers (yet), but you are getting SERVED here!

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.


Photo credit: NDS Emulation

March 21, 2010

Movie Scene Sunday: Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood

3/21/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments
With St. Patrick's Day happening this past week, Movie Scene Sunday was an obvious choice: Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood. I was nervous though because in my original searches, all embedding was disabled and I feared I'd have to find another movie to show (even the one where the leprechaun goes to space was blocked).

Ladies and gentlemen, if you love knock knock jokes, James Bond puns, leprechauns, Ice T (the rapper, not the beverage- but you're welcome to like the drink too), and mildly graphic violence, well hold onto your pot of gold cause this is a delight!

March 19, 2010

Reality Rundown: What's Morse Code for "This Detour Sucks"?

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest Loser
American IdolProject Runway

The Amazing Race - Last leg's pit stop ends up being a bus ride to a mystery location, which ends up being France. The teams are sent to a boulangerie to retrieve a big ol' baguette (or "bag-you-ette" as the cowboys pronounced it) to retrieve the clue. Only Jeff and Jordan seem to be really perplexed in realizing you need to crack open the baguette to retrieve the clue inside.

The baguette sends the teams to the Detour where the teams can particpate in World War 1 by either crawling through an obstacle course under barb wire or deciphering Morse Code. I absolutely hate legs of the race where it's clear only 1 side of the Detour would even be attempted, but since the teams are warned "Caution: U-Turn Ahead" it's obvious the Morse Code task is to completely f-over the U-Turned team. The Detectives, in 1st place, choose to blind U-Turn husband/wife team Joe and Heidi, but it's not very anonymous since Joe/Heidi and the father/daughter knew the detectives were the only team ahead of them. They're obviously pissed. Meanwhile, other teams continue to pass Joe/Heidi, riding bikes 4 miles to the pit stop in old timey clothes and mustaches. The detectives are team #1, again.

Jeff/Jordan are way behind the pack, and the end looks inevitable after getting lost and having to do a Speed Bump challenge to build a stick fence. With some dramatic editing it seems like maybe there could be a bike race to the pit story between Jeff/Jordan and Joe/Heidi, but Joe/Heidi can't decipher the Morse Code at all and are Philiminated. In case you are dying to know, the Morse Code message was, "We will prevail. Viva le France."

The Biggest Loser - The Blue team wins a healthy food trivia challenge and a night at a fancy shmancy hotel, expensive healthy dinner, and spa treatments. The Black team has to clean the gym and the kitchen, which is torture since these people apparently live like slobs. They must've told them don't clean for days because there were rotten apples, broken glass, disgusting pans. Insane. The Black team wins when it counts, cooking the healthiest meal for celebrity chef/Celebrity Apprentice contestant Curtis Stone. They win a 5lb advantage at the weigh-in which is huge and much-needed.

To bad it doesn't help. The Black teams loses the weigh-in yet again and choose to send home the remaining old lady on their team, Sherry.

American Idol - I might not be watching Idol, but I did say I'd try to give you a quick update. This week the "singers" had to pick a Rolling Stones song to completely abominate. I watched the first hour and that is when I officially gave up. I don't even like the Stones and this was god awful. Lacy Brown destroyed "Ruby Tuesday" and was the first talent-lacking singer to leave this season.

Project Runway - The challenge this week is to create a day and evening look inspired by a New York neighborhood... is pairs! Jay and Mila have the unfortunate luck of hating each other and being paired by bad luck of the draw. Also, the ever-so-frightening Collier Strong returns for the obnoxious L'Oreal Paris product placements that I fast forward through.

Anthony and Maya were the team I liked best, with a Chinatown evening dress that was inspired by a paper dragon. The daytime look had a nice patterned jacket. Emilio and Seth Aaron drew Harlem and all I see is denim! I know the evening gown isn't denim, but it sure looks like it. The judges love it and name Emilio and Seth Aaron this week's winners. Jay and Mila were able to professionally work with each other on their East Village looks, but the quality wasn't there on Jay's end. His tank top was sloppy and the pants were ehh. Mila made her usual black and white and while it's nice, it's like, I get it! You're mod. Jonathan and Amy pull the Upper East Side and it's a far cry from the style of Gossip Girl. Jonathan's evening dress is overworked but receives some praise. Amy's makes supposedly a peach shirt dress with pleating- oh god, it's awful. Amy, a long-time favorite to make it to the finals, is AUF'D but I see this as a long time coming. Remember the clown pants?



Photo Credits: CBS, MyLifetime, NBC

March 17, 2010

Programming Note: Seacrest, OUT!

3/17/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments

A few weeks ago I SERVED the American Idol top 24 for being so horrible. The top 12 is even worse and frankly, I'm not interested. I regret to inform you I won't be providing full Reality Rundown recaps of Idol because I don't feel like suffering all season. I'll try and post elimination updates and maybe what the theme of the week is, but I have no desire to watch this talentless season. Simon always said he hated the Taylor Hicks season but he must be rethinking that statement now. I have far too many shows on Tuesday nights that I'd rather watch and cover and I'd rather not jump from DVR to DVR in the house just to not enjoy myself for 2 hours.

I know you are probably weeping as you read this, knowing my witty coverage won't be there, but wipe your tears. Instead of covering this crapfest, I hope to do more random recaps of other reality shows, like RuPaul's Drag Race or 16 and Pregnant. So stay tuned for more recaps on fun shows and let your ears take a season off from Idol.



Photo credit: BuddyTV

March 16, 2010

Small Servings

3/16/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

March 15, 2010

Serving of the Week

3/15/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served 1 comment

Name: Billy Mitchell
SERVED: If you've seen the documentary The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, you're going to be pumped that Billy Mitchell finally got SERVED. In the movie, science teacher Steve Weibe battled with Billy to achieve the highest score in Donkey Kong. Steve was a mild-mannered science teacher who loved to play the game; Billy was the asshole in the American flag tie, hocking buffalo wing sauce, and being an arrogant jerk. The title has gone back and forth a few times, with Billy ultimately winning the battle... until now.

I read on Best Week Ever this past week that Billy Mitchell has been dethroned by a 35 year old plastic surgeon from Queens, hereby know as King Dr. Hank Chien. He beat Billy's record by 10,000 points. SERVED! Billy is a jerk and while it would've been awesome for Weibe to put him down a peg, this is still amazing. Game over Billy- you just got SERVED!

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.


Photo credit: NDS Emulation

March 14, 2010

Movie Scene Sunday: Lucas

3/14/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments
In sad news, Corey Haim died this week and it's such a bummer cause Corey Haim was such an 80's teen icon. Lost Boys, Licensed to Drive, and Dream a Little Dream (1 and 2) are all such 80's classics and it's a bummer that Corey (well, both Coreys) could never really get past the teen idol status. The Coreys are the epitome of bromance and BFFs and this news was a total downer.

Corey Haim's big breakout role came when he played nerdy outcast Lucas who joins the football team, almost dies from the game, and then wins respect of all the high school assholes who tortured him. I wanted the movie clip where Lucas gets Icy Hot rubbed on his junk, pushed out of the gym in just a towel, and humiliated but alas it's not on Youtube. Instead, enjoy Lucas totally SERVING some loser football coach. RIP Corey Haim!

March 12, 2010

Reality Rundown: The King and the Dragonslayer


The Amazing Race - 3 different flights bring the teams to Hamburg, Germany where they immediately come across a new diversion: an Intersection. An Intersection is where 2 teams have to work together to complete a task, and this Intersection is a Roadblock where 2 members will tandem bungee jump. Most impressive is that Jet's cowboy hat stayed on the entire jump- that thing must be glued onto his noggin.

The Detour was a choice of eating a giant plate of sauerkraut or kicking soccer balls through 5 targets. After completing the Detour, the teams have to bring their clue to a bar and trade it in for a giant boot-shaped mug of beer. If you opted for the sauerkraut, the burps afterwards must've been heinous. The Detectives chow down on the sauerkraut like they haven't eaten days and chug their beer, making them team #1 and they win some cash, which I'm sure is a far better prize than another trip considering they're spending a month racing around the world. Team Big Brother get a terrible cab driver, change detours, but easily get the beer down- they are the last team to check in but fear no JeJo fans: it's a non-elimination leg and Jeff and Jordan live to race another leg.

The Biggest Loser - New Blue team member O'Neal has a hissy fit until he finds out his daughter Sunshine is safe, then suddenly decides he is the leader and gives a speech to his team about working together. Says the guy with the dud knee who can barely do challenges. Speaking of challenges, in a "isn't it obvious which team will win?" challenge, the teams have to pull an 18-wheeler truck and pick up milk crate puzzle pieces and complete the puzzle. The Blue team wins, though not as far ahead as expected since O'Neal is slow, and they win free groceries for a year.

The Losers also learn that this is "Work Week" and they will all be holding down a full-time job at a food bank, commuting via bus (the horror!), and the gym is only open from 6:00AM to 7:30PM. This is the real world people! Though in the real world, most people sit stagnantly at a desk all day and don't get to lift 30lb boxes of food. Work Week allows the Losers to preach to other fatties at the warehouse that they too can lose weight and then make a totally unplanned and not-at-all an obnoxious attempt at product placement trip to Subway for lunch when Sam realizes he forgot his lunch and the vending machine is full of junk.

The 2 old ladies on the Black team are really bonding but know they are targets for being older (OK, they're only 51 but that's ancient compared to others). O'Neal and Sunshine get a big focus about how amazing it is to have this journey as a father/daughter team, blah blah I fast forwarded. O'Neal has become the preachy guy this season and it's so annoying. Lucky for him, the Blue team wins the weigh-in. The Black team actually takes a great logic for who to vote off: how far are you from obtaining your goal weight? Turns out the only guy on the team, Sam, is only 50lbs away and isn't getting big numbers since he's now getting muscle. The voting ends up sending old-lady Cheryl in an effort to try and win challenges. Interesting thing: Cheryl's starting weight on the ranch was 227lbs and the Black team lost 2.27% this week- coincidence? Yeah, definitely.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - Coach and his tribe bond as he leads a session of Dragonslayer Chi, but Russell declines to participate to focus on finding the Immunity Idol. After much digging and searching, Russell is the possessor of the Hidden Immunity Idol.

At the Reward Challenge, with a prize of a chocolate feast at a watering hold, James from the Heroes goes down fast when he pops his knee. He is taken out of the challenge and, depending on his condition, maybe out of the game. Also, crazy hippie Rupert slams Jerri's head into a pole which is fun to watch, but also makes you remember that Rupert can be a turd. The Villains win reward, binge on chocolate, and gossip about Russell and the Immunity Idol, which they all speculate he has. Russell lets Parvati know about the Idol and they know this will be leverage to get people on their side. Russell confides in Coach about the Idol and Coach is so flattered. While Coach wants to work with Boston Rob, he is elated that Russell has trusted him. Russell proposes they align calling them, "The King and the Dragonslayer" and knights Coach to make it official. It's amazing.

The Heroes fear for the worst when James isn't back from the Reward Challenge. Medical has bandaged the knee and if he can walk fine, he's OK to play; James comes limping back to camp in a giant cast and Amanda cries from happiness. I gag. Their joy is short-lived when the Villains come from behind to win the Immunity Challenge and the Heroes have to vote someone off again. James is the obvious choice to go home because he physically can't do as much anymore, but JT, Rupert, Amanda, and James all plan to vote off Tom and Candice isn't pleased. JT is kind wary and then tells Tom, Colby and Candice he'll vote off James. He's so wishy-washy and Colby guarantees this flip-flopper attitude will bite JT in the ass.

At Tribal Council, Jeff points out James' dud knee and indicates his niece could beat James in a footrace, which he denies. James, feeling weak, pushes the blame onto Candice and Tom; Tom fights back, which I love. I didn't see Tom's season but I like that he's a nice, honest dude but also won't take some crybaby's bullshit attitude. Tom argues that they aren't keeping James because he's strong, but because he's a sheep and they need his vote since he just listens to who everyone tells him to vote for. Tom knows he's a goner, but urges his tribe to vote logically. They don't: in a 5-2 vote, Tom's torch is snuffed. With Tom gone, I say Villains FTW!

Project Runway - Tim, along with some Garnier hair product guy who's last name is pronounced "Carry On" (perfect for Tim), tells the designers this week's task is to create a look inspired by one of 4 natural elements: earth, air, fire, or water. They each randomly draw and element and then the snoozefest begins. The workroom is quiet, the color palettes muted... I won't like, I fast forwarded through a good 20 minutes.

Onto the only part worth watching: the runway. Maya creates a water-inspired flowy sleeved look which impresses the judges, but they also warn she takes too much inspiration from other big name designers. Seth Aaron makes an amazing leather ensemble, though "air" isn't very apparent. Jonathan breaks out of the middle of the pack, winning this week's challenge with a dress with a color palette inspired by his model's complexion. Mila is in the bottom with a drab mineral-colored vest and otherwise dull look. Amy's fire look is just a big bowl of hair on her model's chest and it's terrible. Ben is AUF'D this week with a great white shark pant suit that is poorly made. Here's a life lesson for all future Project Runway contestants: if you've never made a suit before, don't try it when you have elimination on the line.


Photo credits: CBS, MyLifetime, NBC, Survivor.com, Sz-Wholesale.com

March 9, 2010

Small Servings

3/09/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments



Photo Credit: OldSchoolPopculture.wordpress.com

March 8, 2010

Serving of the Week

3/08/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment

Name: Avatar
SERVED: I haven't seen Avatar yet and I really have no interest. From what I hear it's just Dances with Wolves in 3d with CGI people. And quite frankly, I don't care for 3D and think it's going to hurt movies rather than help it, especially now that everything under the sun is getting converted to 3D just to make more money.

Back to the Oscars. Going into the Academy Awards last night, I knew inevitably that the big-budget epic would win Best Director and Best Picture against other great films, like The Hurt Locker. As award after award for Sound Editing and Cinematography and all the technical stuff began to roll in, I think everyone watching was wondering, "Why am I staying up until midnight to see a James Cameron speech?" Well there wasn't one because James Cameron's ex-wife, Kathryn Bigelow, took home the Oscar for Best Director for The Hurt Locker! SERVED! It seems like perhaps Avatar would be awarded Best Picture instead... but it wasn't! The Hurt Locker won Best Picture! SERVED!!! It doesn't take millions and millions of dollars and amazing special effects to win- just tell an amazing, powerful story and film it well. Take THAT, CGI!

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

March 7, 2010

Movie Scene Sunday: Naked Gun 33 1/3

3/07/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Happy Oscar night! It's the night where celebrities put on their borrowed finest, strut the red carpet, and pretend to not want an award that most actors strive for each year. But I love it! The Academy Awards are often mentioned in movies, like In & Out, but the Oscar scene that I always remember comes from Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult. The Mother Theresa musical is so fantastic, a knockdown drag-out fight with Raquelle Welch, and c'mon, the comic genius of Orenthal James Simpson.

March 6, 2010

Dharma Dog

3/06/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 8 comments
A few weeks ago Schroeder's name tag fell off in the back yard and we couldn't find it. I was going to go online and buy him a new cute tag (because face it, the metal ones from pet stores are so dull), but I suddenly had a moment of genius: LOST! I would make a Dharma Initiative pet tag. I bought some Shrinky Dinks plastic paper, created a Dharma logo with a paw print in the middle, and made a back side with Schroeder's name and contact phone number. I put the large printed tags in the oven where Shrinky Dinks magically makes them smaller, glued the front and back together using some heavy-duty E-6000 glue and voila! DHARMA DOG!



A few more photos over on my Tumblr

Flashback: Dharma Initiative Flip Videocamera

March 5, 2010

Reality Rundown: Tin Man, Hershey Kiss, Ballerina, Garbage Newsaper, Ughhh, Vacuum Bag

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest Loser
Survivor: Heroes vs. VillainsProject Runway

The Amazing Race - The season of the bus ride continues with a 6 hour trek to Argentina. For a hot second it looks like Miss Teen USA might not make it, as she gets a touch of food poisoning, but the bus is an equalizer so they are able to make it. The first task in Argentina is to beat the Travelocity Roaming Gnome is a game of 5 Card Stud, which is as weird as it sounds. The clue after that is a Roadblock to lasso a haybale cow. The Cowboys easily complete this, while the Moms struggle the most, putting them in the back of the pack. The Lesbians bitch and moan about this Roadblock being unfair, and then they complain the whole rest of the leg. This is definitely the unlikable team of the season.

The Detour is a choice of playing polo on a wooden horse or find a bag of loot based on old fashioned compasses (aka steps). Jeff and Jordan easily find their bag, but don't read the clue and keep trying to give deliver the loot to the wrong person. Once they re-read the clue and realize their stupidity, Jeff intelligently says, "We shouldn't reproduce." The Cowboys complete the polo quickly and easily slide into another victory leg with their big cowboy belt buckles. The Mom-trepreneurs catch up but can't catch a break at polo; they switch detours to find the money bags but get Philiminated at check-in.

The Biggest Loser - It's baaaack- and interesting again! When we last left off, Orange and Black were balancing torches on their head to see who stays. At 9 minutes, the dad from the Black team drops out and Orange mom stays.

The next morning the losers are greeted by a giant plate of cookies for a temptation. Today partners are gone and it's time for teams and the winner of the temptation will get to pick teams and choose someone for immunity (the immune person will join the team that loses a member this week). Only fat Michael from White and the newly solo Black team daughter participate. The game is memory: find the 2 "Pick the Team" cards and you win. However, match up 2 junk foods and the other person eats them; don't make a match and eat a cookie. After gorging themselves and consuming about 2,000 calories each, Michael wins.

Michael decides to make his teams strategically: he makes old-man Yellow immune and completely stacks Bob's Blue team with all the big dudes (including himself). Jillian's Black team has 1 guy and all the lighter women. Needless to say, she's furious and almost say he teams stinks. I don't know why every year the a-holes team with Bob since it's proven that Jillian's team always wins the show. Anyways, the rub salt into the wounds the Black team also wins the reward challenge (boring letters from home). They are determined to win the weigh-in. After 2 Blue team members (Miggy and Lance) pull low numbers, Black sees a chance: they need to have lost 39lbs to win the weigh in. With some super-dramatic music, Black teams loses 41lbs and win the weigh-in!

Suddenly Black isn't so cocky. Michael's greed to stay in the game costs him big time: his best friend Miggy is voted off for having one of the lowest weight loses this week. Looks like we got a battle up in herrrrrrre!

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains - Post-Tribal, Coach has a cryfest to Tyson because he feels like odd man out. Tyson gives some excellent advice like, do your tai chi in private, don't tell those stories that sound like huge lies, and stop wearing a giant feather earring to Tribal Council. Boston Rob assures Coach he does like him and he just needs to trust him.

Tree Mail delivers everyone's favorite reading delight: a Sears catalog! Each tribe can choose 2 items and if they win the reward challenge, they get their dream come true. Unfortunately no one selects any bedding from the . The Heroes go for fishing necessities and kitchen supplies, while the villains opt for a giant tarp and a toolbox. The Reward Challenge is to get all lubed up, slip and slide to some hanging balls, and score a basket. Super sexy! The Villains win and head back to camp where Russell accidentally discovers a clue to the hidden Immunity Idol inside one of their new tools. The tribe decides no one should get the Idol and whoever takes it is a marked man... so of course Russell goes looking and now he's on everyone's shit list.

Over at the Hero camp, I guess the best part of waking up is an Immunity Idol in your cup (ok, container of coffee beans, but I was going for the Folgers pun). The Heroes all scramble to find the Idol and Tom, James, and Amanda prowl the same spot. Tom finds the Idol and slips it away quickly, but not before Amanda sees it. Tom and Colby hope this can be good leverage for staying in this game longer, while others see this as a need to get Tom out now.

At the immunity challenge (which is the giant ball roll and puzzle maze that almost killed other Russell last season), the Heroes lose making the obvious choice elimination choice Tom (to flush out the Idol). Candice approaches Cirie with the plan to split the votes 3-3 between Tom and Colby, that way if Tom plays the Idol Colby leaves or it forces a tie-breaker. Tom is desperate and approaches JT and Amanda to align, even offering to give away his Idol. JT likes this plan because he wants the Idol in his alliance, doesn't trust Candice, and knows Tom and Colby are honest players. Blabbermouth Amanda tells Cirie, and Cirie gets pissed. Tom, Colby, and JT chat and realize Cirie is dangerous so why not make a 3 way tie? JT realizes that, yet again, the fate of the game is in his hands.

At Tribal Council, the main topic of discussion is about alliances and how the strong are being sacrificed just because they're not in the "in" alliance. Rupert admits maybe it's not smart, but he's keeping his word and Jeff respects his honesty. Everyone gets up to vote and we get a teaser that JT started writing a C, but is it Colby or Cirie? Don't tease me, Survivor! Knowing you only live once in this game, Tom plays the Immunity Idol and it's a good thing since he definitely would've been out. The votes are 2-2 between Cirie and Colby and the final vote comes out... FOR CIRIE! Blindside!! Awesome. Totally didn't see this coming. I say this every season on the blog when the first blindside happens, but Survivor has officially begun!

Project Runway - Heidi sends the designers on yet another field trip to meet up with Tim Gunn and "one of America's favorite designers." Holy shit, is it Christian Audigier of the exquisite Ed Hardy brand?? Oh boo-urns, it's just Michael Kors. The challenge this week is to create a look and accessory made with materials from the hardware store. Lots of copper, sheet metal, washers... and string for macrame? Oh brother...

The designers whine a little about how hard it is to use these unusual materials, but most end up turning out some great looks. Mia makes her usual mod style using eye-catching black and white paint trays. Maya makes a fashion forward look with a mesh dress, what I call a spiderweb coat, and this crazy cool necklace made from keys. The winner of the challenge is Jay who fashions a smokin' hot pair of leather pants out of trashbags. Anthony makes it into the bottom 3 this week for a boring, purple duct-tape and mesh look that Michael Kors calls "bad prom dress." Emilio makes an atrocious pink rope and washer macrame bathing suit (because he didn't have enough materials but a dress, but shh- don't tell the judges that). A whorish bathing suit isn't enough to send someone home as it's Jesse's copper and mesh Tin Man, tutu, and many more unflattering nouns that gets AUF'D.


Photo Credits: ABC, BuddyTV, CBS, MyLifetime, NBC, Survivor.com

March 3, 2010

Reality Rundown: You've Been Served... An Engagement Ring!

3/03/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love
Special Special Finale Edition


Jake's family is flown to St. Lucia to meet his final 2 and he gives them the 411, like Tenley is sweet and loving and Vienna is, and I quote, "smoking hot" and didn't get along with the other girls in the house. That's an immediate red flag for the family. Instead of jumping around in time, I'll just summarize each girl's Jake-time.

Tenley meets the Pavelka family first and is completely loved. She's very candid about her divorce (did you know she was divorced?) and how much she loves Jake and sees a future. Jake's dad unsuccessfully fights back tears and admits he thinks he met his future daughter-in-law today. If Dad Pavelka was on all season, I think there's a chance he possibly could've out-cried Jake. Jake and Tenley's last date together is snorkeling on a yacht, where Jake poorly words his feelings for Tenley and makes her feel like garbage. Essentially he says he's more attracted to her emotionally than physically, but later backtracks and keeps saying how incredible she is, etc. In the prequisite awkward craft project you give The Bachelor on the last night together Tenley gives him a shadow box with photos and romantic quotes like "Kiss Me!" As soon as I see the glass shadowbox, I picture Tenley finally getting some rage and breaking the glass when she obviously gets dumped in 45 minutes.

When Vienna meets the Pavelkas, it's not a good first impression. She immediately tells them the other girls didn't like her and comes off as abrasive. Jake's mom pulls him aside and expresses her concerns and he gets defensive, while Jake's sisters-in-law have some Vienna alone time. What everyone eventually learns is Vienna is a nice person that is totally in love with Jake. Jake takes Vienna to an inactive volcano to bathe in muddy water that smells like sulfur- yum? Her goofy craft give is a rolled up letter held shut with her "promise me you won't elope again ring" (No I'm not being a sarcastic jerk. That's what the ring is). At this point if you don't know who Jake is so obviously picking you live in La La Land.

The Neil Lane salesman comes to St. Lucia to show Jake some rings and he really overacts in this scene. Is this guy a jeweler or a waiter/aspiring actor? Since Jake hasn't chosen the woman yet (lie) he takes 2 rings: a princess cut for Vienna and a square diamond for Tenley. The girls get gussied up and fly via helicopter to a rooftop beautifully adorned with tropical flowers to either get hitched or ditched. Tenley's first to arrive and obviously, gets dumped. It's really awkward because the 2 of them keep stammering about how much this hurts and how Jake gave Tenley the ability to love again. Oy-vey. After some par-for-the-course crying, Jake mans up when Vienna arrives. He totally psyches her out by giving her back her promise ring and she looks crushed. But then he gets down on his knee and gives her the new ring and then the most marvelous thing happens: they play "On the Wings of Love." And if you're crushed Vienna got picked and shocked, you crazy!

After the Final Rose is a total snoozefest. Tenley is doing OK and gets to ask Jake questions and it's so dull I can't even recall enough to summarize it. Just know, it's probably not important and your life can go on without knowing this information. Vienna comes out and her and Jake talk about how happy they are, how all the tabloids about her are lies (if they're lies then why don't you sue for slander or defamation of character?), and that they'll be moving in together in Dallas immediately. Well not that immediately because in a commercial break we find out that Jake will be torturing us with his dullard personality much longer as he's going to be on Dancing with the Stars. We also get one last amazing, mind-blowing live performance of "On the Wings of Love" and I'm sure you were in tears. Finally for the big "shocking announcement" of the new Bachelorette: it's Ali. Wow, what a shocker! Her constant interviewing of not knowing if she's ever find love again didn't set this up at all. See you next season, readers!


Photo Credits: ABC, BuddyTV

March 2, 2010

Small Servings

3/02/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

March 1, 2010

Serving of the Week

3/01/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

Name: The American Idol Season 9 Top 24
SERVED: I didn't get to see much of Hollywood Week for American Idol this season because I was busy watching the Olympics and Lost, but I put my faith into the judges and assumed they would pick the best talent. I guess I was wrong. This week my ears were ripped apart by 24 terrible singers that quite frankly, have left me at a possible ultimatum: improve this week, or I'm done. Sorry bloggers, but I can't let my ears by violently assaulted week after week by a bunch of wannabe musicians who must've been picked based on their cheesy personal story and not the caliber of their singing. I think I might need to blame Adam Lambert for this because if he didn't become the king of "making it your own" and remixing the songs, maybe we would have better singing and less contestants that are trying to make a statement. Idol, you've been SERVED your first warning. Another week like this and you're toast.

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