July 30, 2010

Reality Rundown: 2nd Season My Pick to Win Gets Evicted Week 3

7/30/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Big Brother 12 - Week 3

The uber-exciting surfboard balancing HOH competition continues for half an episode and man it is exciting. Kathy, Lane, Kristen, Hayden and Britney are the first 5 to fall and are the Haves for the week. I should mention that most of those 5 threw the competition, thinking they were safe. Smart move. All I could think while watching is "Anyone but Brendon" and he thankfully falls, meaning there's a good chance the showmance will be nominated and evicted this week. Andrew wears short shorts on his surfboard, which I suppose means he's in it to win it; he falls. This leaves the competition down to Ragan and Matt. Ragan considers giving the HOH to Matt since he feels safe and wants Matt to see pictures of his not-sick wife. The show completely omits any of their strategy talk and opts to show Ragan falling and Matt becoming the new HOH.

In other news, Andrew always interrupts Rachel and Brendon making out, but it's pretty hard to not interrupt them since they are dry humping all over the house 24/7. Hayden and Kristen keep up their secret showmance, while the HGs consider the idea of them being cousins since they look alike and have birthmarks. The idea of kissin' cousins in the Big Brother house really isn't that out there, but still makes me shudder. America gives the Have Nots baby food and bok choy along with their slop, and Andrew is in 7th heaven since baby food is kosher. You learn something new every day. Matt decides to cut a deal with Brendon and Rachel to keep him safe next week if he can't successfully backdoor one of them. Matt nominates Andrew and Kathy and man, what a power move to take out house sloth Kathy. Let's hope Brendon doesn't compete in the POV competition and save himself (foreshadowing).

Andrew's week isn't going great. He's pissed about being nominated, Rachel tainted the iced tea with peaches leaving the Have Nots thirsty, he lives with slobs, and Brendon and Rachel both get pulled to play for the POV. The Brigade fear a science test will be the competition, y'know since Big Brother is probably rigged to keep the showmance. Instead, it's a weird carnival themed counting contest where you stay and fold; kinda like poker. Now, in the home version (aka me yelling numbers at the TV) I ROCK at this and would've won the POV easily. Andrew takes an early lead, making the reality of backdooring Brendon a potential future, but Brendon catches up and wins the veto. Brenchel survive another week. UGH.

Andrew is confused by his talks with Matt. Matt's plan is convoluted and he also wants there to be a tie so he can send Kathy home. Brendon, meanwhile, wants to do anything to keep Andrew in this house and Andrew wants to align with Brendon, so Andrew approaches Brendon in the dark Have Not room and decides he wants to make a bold move tomorrow, POV ceremony day, and to not let Rachel in on it because the less informed, the better. Andrew makes a speech comparing Matt's gameplay of claiming to want to evict Brenchel as his strategy and the house will keep him, eventhough that's a complete lie. Andrew and Brendon thinks it's a slick move but instead it's thrown up a million red flags and the house is reconsidering their initial idea to vote out Kathy.

Andrew begins to realize his veto speech might've been a bad move and starts getting frustrated, as well as jealous of Kathy getting attention from his supposed friend Kristen. He tells them both to not play him like a fiddle, then gets into an argument with Kristen. It's basically the only yelling we've had this season so this is an epic fight, yet so dull. Kathy makes one of the same old lame "I love y'all" speeches, whereas Andrew goes out in a blaze of glory, outing Kristen and Hayden's late night showmance and stuff they'd said about others. It doesn't help and he's voted out unanimously. Julie tells him he should've used this information to blackmail them, not expose them, as well as informs him Matt lied about his wife (Matt's wife isn't a fan of this move). Oh and of course, Rachel makes another goodbye video yelling about breaking up her and her man. STFU!

The HOH competition is to knock out players one by one by guessing whether the competition was an HOH, Have or Have Not, or Veto competition. Despite their best efforts to get her out (and thanks to Kathy's complete stupidity), Rachel wins HOH again and I become insanely frustrated.

So my pre-season pick to win Big Brother 12 is out, but I did say either he'd last a while or go out quickly. But here's what I do have going for me: for 2 seasons in a row, I predicted the person to go home week 3. Clearly I have a gift. A gift for picking week 3 losers.

Photo Credits: B-Side Blog, CBS.com

Reality Rundown: Balls Out Dancing

The Next Food Network StaSo You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef DCNew! Project Runway

The Next Food Network Star - The wannabe stars enter the kitchen for their Camera Challenge and find cereal, oh excuse me, Kellogg's breakfast cereal (got forbid you confuse it with that General Mills bullshit). Last season's winner Melissa D'Arabian, host of Ten Dollar [Pretentious] Dinners, makes an appearance to introduce the challenge which is to make dinner from breakfast cereal in 20 minutes just like busy moms. This is where I'd say to my kids, "Eat the Kraft Mac & Cheese!!" but I guess in their world you need to make culinary wonders every meal, or in the case of this challenge, use cereal as breadcrumbs. Per usual, most contestants make terrible presentations to camera. Man this TV show prize might've been a bad idea, huh? Melissa grows an insta-girl crush on Aarti, who wins the challenge.

Aarti's prize for winner the Camera Challenge is to be the team leader for the Star Challenge, which is to create a 6 course meal for a secret LA supper club full of "super foodies" (read: hipsters). In no surprise, the hipsters don't care for these wannabe stars (I guarantee at least 5 at the table called the contestants "sell outs"). The food is a clunker for most chefs except for Brad and Aarti. Brad freezes up again with his presentation, so Aarti and the giant flower on her head win again. Aria is chastised for her bitch move of interrupting Aarti and for becoming mediocre, to which I say, "Wait? People actually liked her before?" Tom's dish is a soy sauce nightmare and Serena makes, you guessed it, pasta. Serena is eliminated since she's a fast talker with no cooking range and somewhere Giada DeLaurentis is praying to the pasta gods that she remains Food Network's Italian food star.

So You Think You Can Dance – Injury free week! Top girl Lauren shows again that she can master any style of dance, tackling Broadway and Foxtrot, though her routines weren’t necessarily the most memorable. Kent’s Cha Cha is a big improvement over his week 1 version, though he still makes his hammy faces. His hammy faces, however, make his Broadway routine with Jose later even better. This kid was born to be on Broadway. Jose gets to wear joveralls in the Broadway piece and Kent brings out the best in him. His hip hop is pretty weak, but don’t worry, he got to B-boy to some more funk music in his solo.

AdeChike has a sultry jazz with Courtney that impresses, and tries his hardest in the Foxtrot with Lauren. He’s good, but not great, but young girls will totally vote for him. Robert is outstanding, with a beautiful contemporary piece about going off to war with a twist (the girl is going to war!), and then is phenomenal in Bollywood. But it’s Billy Bell who should be thanking his lucky stars that he wasn’t eliminated last week. He does a contemporary piece with Ade about a homeless man encountering a businessman, and Billy is amazing, wonderful, so great! He also takes on Bollywood pretty well. If viewers actually vote on dancing, he should stay this week and AdeChike and Jose should be eliminated.

Lauren skips the result show group number since she was hospitalized for dehydration. This show really does need to check itself before it wrecks itself. AdeChike again avoids bottom 3 eventhough he was mediocre last night and I'm sick of tweens voting for the boy they want to make out with and take to a Justin Bieber concert. The bottom 3 are Jose, Billy and Lauren, and I called it on Lauren. Amazing dancer but routines were not at all memorable or vote getters. The cast of Step Up: 3D perform and I must admit, I'm tempted to see it (tons of SYTYCD alumni in it), but can the 3D really top last summer's amazing Final Destination 3D? That's a toughy. A bunch of terrible musical performances fill the remainder, including some awkward song about waiting until a girl turns 18 to choose him. WHAAAAT? This week is the last week the judges make a decision, it's all us going forward which makes me fear for the worst. Jose and Billy are let go (no surprise) and our final 4 are Lauren, Kent, AdeChike, and Robert.

Top Chef DC – The Quickfire is to create the perfect little appetizer that fits on a toothpick, which stems from some congressman’s long ass story about bribing lobbyists with dinners. It’s also a high stakes Quickfire for money and immunity so just throwing some cheese on a stick won’t cut it (or would it?). Angelo wins, and the eye-rolling from the other cheftestants ensues.

The elimination challenge is to serve a power lunch at some DC restaurant using their preferred proteins. The chefs draw knives to pick their protein, raid Whole Foods, and prep the day before. Ed makes a pea puree, but on the day of the challenge, his pea puree goes missing. Alex, that Gollum lookin’ fella, has a pea puree with his salmon and everyone gives him the evil eye. Alex wins the challenge, with Ed and Tiffany in the top 3, and express very little joy when Alex gets his win. Now his creepy mug gets sketched on the restaurant wall and people will wonder why a Lord of the Rings character dined at the restaurant. The bottom 3 are Kevin, Andrea, and Kelly. Kelly over salted her big ass chunk of porterhouse steak, Andrea made a vanilla demi-glace on a poorly cooked piece of swordfish, and Kevin went overboard with the hot spices. Andrea is eliminated because seriously, who puts vanilla on fish? Crazies.

New! Project Runway - Lifetime continues to churn out season of Project Runway like a puppy mill, now expanding an already tired show to 90 minutes. I had been fast forwarding 60 minutes episode so we'll see how this goes. Tim and Heidi introduce the designers and go on about how talented they are (suuuure). The designers spontaneously meet up with each other all over NYC and we see some of their collections and it goes on far too long, already proving the point that 90 minutes is too GD much. Tim and Heidi announce the first challenge: there are 17 designers instead of the typical 16 so the first challenge is really their final audition and those 16 will officially be on the show. Each designer has to take an item to incorporate into their garment out of their suitcase, but oh twist, pass it to the designer next to you.

This season's Ping is some dude named Casanova who has to be subtitled, makes whorish tasteless clothes, and didn't even have his model dressed in time for the runway show. Of course he sticks around- he's exactly what a producer would want on the show. The runway has some good looks, some hot messes. Again, it goes on for way too long- am I the only one thinking this? Gretchen, the self-described hippie, is named the clear winner, using an ugly mesh-ish beaded thing, and turns it into a black cocktail dress with sleeves. Loved it.

There's no top 3/bottom 3 since it's still auditions, so the 6 designers left on the stage are all losers. Ivy barely changed the ugly pants she was given, just adding some ruching. Jason got a kimono and slapped it on his model backwards and stapled her in. That's not me being sarcastic, it is literally what he did. April's item was a men's blazer which she flipped inside out and made pointy shoulders. It looks like shit and reminds me of when my friend Mike made a Mugatu costume out of a trashbag and Swedish Fish. McKell, the dreadlock girl, used a button down shirt to make it a sleeveless dress that's cute, but her model is styled terribly so it ruins the look (Michael Kors calls it "disco apron") and has sideboob. Much like last year, Tim Gunn is losing his touch: during critique he loved McKell's concept, but the judges hate it. Nicholas, also praised by Tim Gunn, fails at his sportwear meets evening dress and it's dullsville. Casanova should design costumes for Showgirls 2. It's horrendous and Nina calls it "fascinatingly bad." McKell's styling choices are so terrible she's eliminated from being a contestant on Project Runway. BFD, this show doesn't have the clout it used to have anyways.

Photo Credits: BravoTV.com, BuddyTV.com, FoodNetwork.com, MyLifetime.com

July 29, 2010

Small Servings

7/29/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 1 comment

Photo Credits: BestWeekEver and Getty Images

July 27, 2010

The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All, Bore Me

The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All

If you're looking for 2 hours of filler to extend the Bachelorette by another week, well you're in luck because it's time for the Men Tell All Special! While it's sort a reunion, it's basically a 2 hour clip show where Chris Harrison actually has to put in some effort of being a host. First is a pre-taped sit-down between Ali and Chris where she fondly remembers the good and the bad, including Justin, Frank, Kasey's singing and tattoo, the illusive and silent Chris N (aka The Phantom), and the peacock that kept interrupting her and Roberto's date in Portugal. It's absolutely thrilling (though I will admit I chuckled a few times).

The men then reunite to dish on what happened this season, which rarely has to do with Ali and more has to do with the other contestants. It's a big time for the popular guys to play their cards right and hopefully get cast as the new Bachelor (while Kirk has the heartbreak story, it looks like Craig the lawyer could win and be the new Bob Guinea). Some random guy we totally forgot doesn't like that the Weatherman "bitched out" on crazy Craig being "dangerous" and Chris N actually speaks and wears a Phantom t-shirt, ala "Rated R" Justin. Kasey is brought out to discuss his famous tattoo, bad singing, and of course, "guard and protect her heart" which had to have been said 50 times during the special- no lie.

But we all tuned in because wanted to see Justin again and tear him a new one for 2-timing Ali (or 3-timing since he had 2 girlfriends at home). Tough shit cause he ain't there, so they spend a solid 30 minutes discussing the scandal without him and Craig sums it up with "he was an asshole being an asshole." To get down to the knitty gritty the producers brought it someone to really bring more depth to the Justin situation: Jessie, that girl from Jake's season who called the producers. God forbid they went with the angle of actually bringing the girlfriends, but Jessie's just there to try to get on Bachelor Pad 2. To sum it up: the guys hate Justin, Justin doesn't want to deal with it on TV, and Justin really needs to be careful leaving voicemails.

Frank is not at the Men Tell All but he'll be at next week's After the Final Rose since who cares what he has to say to the guys, let's make Ali cry again! (Update: Lie! Reality Steve reports Frank is not appearing which makes sense since no one needs to be crucified for a fake reality show twice)Frank leaving Ali is a tough topic because the guys like Frank, but many don't appreciate him sticking around if his heart wasn't totally in it. Kirk seems most upset because Frank's a bud, but Kirk wishes he could've gone to the final 3 with Ali and maybe found love if Frank respectfully declined the rose. Kirk was in fact heartbroken after losing Ali, but his sob story is definitely enough to get him in contention for Bachelor status.

Ali comes out (with a bird's nest on her head) to talk to the guys, gets serenaded by Kasey again, and laugh at some blooper clips. Best blooper clip: putting a sleeping Craig's hand in a bucket of warm water to make him pee the bed. After a long montage of the final 2, Roberto and Chris, we get a preview of the spin-off show Bachelor Pad,which is essentially I Love Money without as many groupie skanks. It's fill of hook-ups, fights, weaves, and crying- I can't wait. So yeah, completely awesome Men Tell All Special .

Photo Credits: BuddyTV

The Bachelorette: "Not Here for the Right Reason" Season Count: Week 10

7/27/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
I knew the Men Tell All special came through for the season count, though I wish it was more. This will be the only time I say thank you host Chris Harrison, since his discussion of "Rated R" Justin and his double dippin' (I guess kinda triple dippin'). Anyways, Chris dropped 2 "not here for the right reasons" which ticks the count up just slighty. So here's my hope: either next week in the finale there's yet another season recap to inch the count up a digit or two. I can dream right. In great news, we're into the 20's!! 21 to be exact.

July 26, 2010

Serving of the Week

7/26/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment

Name: So You Think You Can Dance Season 7
SERVED: I've been a loyal SYTYCD watcher since season 2. While sometimes I don't agree with elimination decisions I usually get past it and let the show go on. This past week, however, was BS. Billy Bell became yet another casualty in the season of injuries but his doctor did say he could dance if he felt up to it. Billy chose not to dance, which was convenient since he got a step routine that he would've looked like such a goof doing. B-boy Jose performed 2 routines it wasn't good in either. He has a lovable personality, but on the technical side he just can't hang. Jose, Billy, and Robert found themselves in the bottom 3 this week and the judges had to make a choice: eliminate the person who chose not to dance or eliminate someone who isn't improving except in his own style. The judges chose to eliminate no one.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I am SERVING SYTYCD for a total cop-out. Make a decision. Now this week a top dancer could be in jeopardy since you chose to keep 2 people who should've been eliminated. Let's re-look at this. I get that the judges probably felt insanely guilty sending Jose home against a guy who didn't dance, so I guess I might have to come to terms with that. But let's face the facts about Billy: he's been in the bottom for like 3 weeks in a row. He would've been in the bottom again this week had he danced and you would've sent him home. He CHOSE not to dance, yet leapt all over the stage after being declared safe. Some sort ankle, huh? I think So You Think You Can Dance couldn't grow a pair of cohones to make an actual tough decision, and this is why I must SERVE the show.

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

July 23, 2010

Reality Rundown: Cowabunga Houseguests!

7/23/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Big Brother 12 - Week 2

Rachel celebrates her HOH victory by jumping up and down in her silver mini dress exposing her ass. Classy! Britney hilariously can't believe she lost to someone who forgot to wear pants to the competition. Andrew also celebrates like crazy which I thought was just an act, but Britney took it personal, so Andrew had to explain to her that of course he's happy Britney lost, she would've nominated him. Meanwhile, The Brigade keeps thinking Brendon is going to be calling the shots, because god forbid a woman in a showmance be able to make her own decisions. Rachel is excited to make a power play, but not as excited as she is about the bottle of tequila in her HOH basket.

The Have or Have Not competition has the yard filled with graffiti-ed trash cans and a faux-brick wall (Rachel says the yard is "like hood") and horrible stereotypical dialogue, all to have a competition to tape a person to a wall. Totally a nerd's nightmare. The goal is for your your team-member to stick to the wall the longest but to make the tape fallout they spray them in water, so everyone sprays Britney in the face, giving her more to complain about. Eventually the tape begins to choke Britney so they tear her down off the wall, making the Orange team the winners and they get to choose 4 HGs to be Have Nots. They select the Green team (Enzo, Brendon, Monet and Britney) since the Blue team didn't target Kathy on the wall. Good news is it's not an all-slop week: the Have Nots can eat fish sticks and fruit cake all week. Unfortunately, the harsh realism has yet to hit Rachel and Brendon, since Brendon will now be forced to sleep in the Have Not room all week. Less sexin'.

The Saboteur leaves one last message revealing her identity, saying there's no hard feelings, which we all know is a total lie. The house cheers for eliminating the saboteur but seriously, WTF did they even do besides cause some minor annoyance. Good riddance lame twist. The Brigade scrambles to talk to HOH Rachel, including Matt who is confident he's safe, so instead he's going to pretend to be scared to ensure his safety, which actually backfires a little. That's a Mensa strategy for you. Brendon/Rachel pull Hayden aside, even proposing a final 4 deal, so Hayden accepts it for the time being, while also trying to deflect Rachel from nominating a Brigade member or his kinda showmance Kristen- so that leaves like 5 other people to choose. Britney and Monet both make attempts at putting up a positive front with Rachel, who knows these girls want her out, and they seem to be making an impact, especially in mentioning the floaters. But I guess it didn't work well enough and house BFFs Britney and Monet are nominated for eviction. I'm going to guess their other strategy of sitting around the house talking shit wasn't so beneficial.

Britney and Monet retreat to the Have Not bedroom, tissues in hand, and just cry. The crying is short lived as they return to their normal selves and by that I mean shit talking Rachel and praying STDs aren't airborne. Rachel feels terrible for making people cry, but not terrible enough to stop making out with Brendon for 2 seconds. Rachel does tell Britney that her target is Monet, so Britney plants the seeds that Andrew should be evicted this week to keep her BFF and ally in the house. The Brigade are happy though because they're safe and no one has figured out their alliance.

In stupid lies, Matt tells HGs that his wife has a 1 in a million disease and this prize money will help her get surgery. Nothing warms hearts like lying about a sick wife. Ever hear of karma? Matt is a terrible liar and you can see it on his face, but he claims it'll help him last in the game. Of course, Matt makes the hilarious comment that "Andrew's not a doctor, he's a shoe salesman. I think I can outsmart a shoe salesman!" No asshole, Andrew's a doctor lying about his job (which is hardly as horrible as lying about a sick wife) and is catching onto you. But surely none of Matt's lies and scheming will catch up to him so soon (that's called foreshadowing).

Rachel, Britney, Monet, Brendon (because Rachel picked him- gag me), Lane, and Enzo are selected to play in the POV competition. They dress up like what is supposed to be Wall Street professionals (but moreso like an Olive Garden waiter) and have to put their head and arms in stockades and need to stay into the stockades closest to the 1 hour mark without going over. Some try to count the time in the their, others imagine how long it would take to drive to the Jersey Shore (guess who?). It seems easily enough until they get slapped around by a laminated dollar bill. Oh Big Brother, what will you think of next?! Britney drops out first, as she'd rather be under the hour than go over. The others begin to drop, though some are smug and hang out longer thinking they're going to win (Brendon and Rachel). Enzo is a mere 14 seconds over the hour, which makes Britney and her 53 minutes the winner of the POV. Suck it, Brenchel!

Britney and Money begin their play to get Andrew put up as the replacement nominee because if he was nominated it would be a surefire way to save Monet. She runs the idea of nominating Andrew by Brendon, and he doesn't think it's a smart move and doesn't think Britney and Monet would side with them, despite what they say. Ragan and Matt come up to the HOH room and Rachel asks for them to vote out Monet and keep Andrew safe as a pawn. Then Matt puts his foot in his mouth: he says they'd have a better shot if they put him up because there's more of a chance for votes to switch if Andrew went up. Matt believes this move gets him Rachel and Brendon's trust and makes him look like hot shit in the Brigade. His only requests are for Rachel to specifically say in her speech that he is a pawn, but also to let him pretend this is a blindside to him. Rachel would still prefer Andrew be the pawn, but he and Brendon both know that this will backfire and send a potential ally home. Obviously, Britney uses the veto on herself and after some thinking, which I'm sure was painful because it took away from heavy petting time, Rachel nominates Matt for eviction.

Monet and Britney continue their pity party and Matt joins in, pretending he's been blindsided by his nomination. His arrogance is baffling. Hayden and Kristen's secret showmance has progressed to late night makeout sessions which aren't so secret when you have another person trying to sleep in the room (Andrew). Rachel stirs up some shit to ensure Monet is leaving, so she tells Kristen they Britney/Monet have said that Kristen promised to keep Monet in the house. Kristen gets angry and confronts Britney and she denies it. Kathy retrieves Rachel and it turns into a bitchfest in the backyard between Monet and Rachel. Monet is convinced she's screwed.

Britney decides to clear the air with Rachel so if they have power in the future she won't be targeted. Rachel doesn't want to make an enemy and tells Britney how Matt volunteered to be a pawn and wouldn't go after Rachel and Brendon. Britney laughs about this since Matt's been playing this game, pretending to be shocked and hurt he was nominated. Rachel tries to cry, and it's a piss poor attempt and trying to be dramatic; an Emmy is not in her future. To get answers (aka confront Matt), Rachel calls a house meeting (sans pants). Rachel calls out Matt for his lies and Monet is crushed because he volunteered to be a pawn to guarantee her eviction from the house. Matt's side of the story is that Rachel was pressuring him to vote a certain way. Matt says of course he's going to target them, they're an obvious threat to eliminate. Rachel says Matt's playing all sides which is kinda true, but she's dumb and doesn't know The Brigade already knows this. The show has really edited this fight to make Rachel look better, but I'd say it came out a draw in reality.

The show kept hinting Matt was in jeopardy of going home, but he never was (The Brigade to the rescue). Matt's speech also gets in a dig at last season's Natalie, thus endearing him to us all. Monet is evicted by a vote of 7-2, but at least she won $10k. The HGs goodbye messages are all pretty catty so they better hope Monet doesn't return cause she might be like "F U jerks!" Britney's, however, is hilarious because she tells Monet she'll miss sitting in the backyard making fun of Kristen's high-waisted pants and Rachel's extensions. Oh Britney, you're a delight!

Tonight's HOH competition is an endurance called Hang 10! Can you guess what it is?! Whoever stays on the surfboard the longest wins. The first 5 to fall off are the Haves for the week, the remaining will be the Have Nots and suffer through slop and the shitty food viewers select. It looks easy until immediately they are pummeled with a heavy water flow and lame stereotypical beach blanket musical. All I can think while I watch this is please not Brendon because I am so sick of watching him and Rachel dryhump in the HOH room and need one of them gone this week. Looks like you'll have to wait until the next blog for the HOH results (or you can cheat and look here). COWABUNGA HOUSEGUESTS!

Looking for a 2nd opinion on what happened in the BB house this week? Try, and I am emphasizing try because it'll take a lot of effort, reading Rachel's HOH blog post which is maybe the worst written thing I have ever read. Besides her nonsensical recap of the week and horrendous spelling, grammar and punctuation, it's the equivalent of a 13 year old girl's LiveJournal post. The only thing missing from her HOH blog is hearts to dot the it's. After reading this, I don't buy she's a chemist, much less a college graduate.

Photo Credits: BSideBlog.com, CBS.com, JokersUpdates.com (isoad, kacieeeee), RealityBBQForums (electra)

Reality Rundown: Paso Dude-ble

The Next Food Network StarSo You Think You Can Dance
Top Chef DC

The Next Food Network Star - The Camera Challenge this week is to show their expertise by creating a party bite for entertaining and providing tips. Here's a tip: stop being so bad at these challenges! They each have a picnic basket with 3 ingredients and a party accessory to theme it. Brad gets possessed by someone with a personality (or just really has a fondness for bachelorette parties) and is the winner (tied with Tom who had to do a ladies luncheon) of the Star Challenge so they get a leg-up at the Star Challenge. They both will also get to present their entertaining tips on Food Network's new sister network, The Cooking Channel. I don't get that station and I'm sure the majority of America doesn't so congratulations on presenting to no one. Herb freezes up on camera and becomes the dullest "Energy Chef" ever, while Brianna has no concept of what a 5 year old would eat at a birthday party.

Former Queer Eye food gay/now Food Network personality Ted Allen introduces the Star Challenge which is to take a classic American dish, put a modern twist on it, and serve it at Frank Sinatra's old Palm Springs estate. Brianna complains, of course, about getting tuna noodle casserole but actually makes it kinda sophisticated; the problem is her presentation was so negative it turned off the judging panel. Brad is unbelievably good, quoting Sinatra's music to explain his twist on chicken cordon bleu. Someone pee test him, cause I think he's on something, buuuut maybe let it slide cause he's kind of awesome and wins 2 challenges in a row. Other highlights include curry-less curry, an inadvertent masturbation joke, and porkless pigs in a blanket. Hello, just shove some hot dogs in a crescent roll! Despite her dish and cooking creativity being great, her personality is a stinker and Brianna is eliminated.

So You Think You Can Dance - There are 4 judges this week as Kenny Ortega, director of High School Musical (and in my eyes, more awesome for choreographing Footloose), joins the regulars to give basically only positive remarks to the dancers and choreographers. However, there's another injury this week finally gets the producers to consider some better warm ups. This week it's Billy Bell, though it seems his injury might not be as bad as Alex or Ashley. All I can say is, it's clearly taking dancers out in alphabetical order. You dodged a bullet, AdeChike. Speaking of AdeChike, he has his moment of the season with a phenomenal lyrical hip hop that solidified his safety this week. Even Comfort was outstanding, and that's saying a lot. Lauren is dumps her perkiness for some badness to take on hip hop with Twitch. Kent is the star he was born to be in a jazz piece with Kathryn, and Robert's jazz piece with Lauren has no story, but the theme is seduction and the dance looks straight out of a 1992 music video trying to be provocative. Jose takes on contemporary, but sadly the technique just ain't there. He's lovable, but honestly he's not cut out for this anymore.

When the finalists pair up with each other, Lauren and Robert's salsa throwback to 50's beach movies shows that these 2 are both so awesome, even in styles totally out of their element. For the first time ever we have a 2 dude paso doble, but as soon as I saw Jose was in it, I knew it wouldn't be great. Sorry. It's Jose and AdeChike who take it on and while it was a valiant attempt, it didn't cut the mustard. Kent and Billy Bell are paired up and enter the rehearsal space to find out they are STEPPING. No, not Riverdance, I mean like Stomp the Yard. This is the moment I laugh out loud thinking of these 2 whiteys taking on step. Unfortunately, Billy is injured so Twitch steps in and the routine is pretty awesome. Kent, already the favorite to win, proves this week he's the one to beat.

The bottom 2 are Jose and Robert and I am baffled AdeChike avoided the bottom 2 (well 3, but Billy's the default). Girls, I get he's cute but he has one phenomenal routine and one terrible one. Robert had 2 outstanding numbers last night. We also are entertained with an outstanding performing from the American ballet, a solo by some dude in striped undies (and man is he good), Neil and Lauren recreating their season 3 Wade Robson piece, and Enrique Iglesias performs live (autotuned to be more accurate). The judges haven't really made a decision and give each guy a chat. Some think Robert isn't improving, Jose's isn't improving but getting better at breaking, and Billy chose not to dance since the doctors said it was his call. The judges decide not to eliminate anyone and will instead send 2 people home next week. Jose lives another week to break to funk music and Billy survives another week even though he chose not to dance, yet was jumping around the stage at the end of the episode.

Top Chef DC - The Quickfire is to make a dish with "outlandish ingredients" which is code word for naaaaasty. We're talking rattlesnake, crocodile, and of course testicles (from ducks!). If you've ever dreamt of the phrase "testicle marshmallow," well this is the episode for you. The guest judge is James Beard award winning lady chef Michelle Bernstein, always a tough judge, and apparently contestant Andrea and her have some beef since they're both from Miami. Chick fight! Everyone is getting into the groove when Padma tells everyone to stop and switch proteins with the person on their left. Haha suckers- Quickfire got 'cha good. Tamesha has a good duck tongue soup, and Amanda make something so adorable (llama- yes, cute, doe-eyed llamas) quite tasty. Kelly wins the Quickfire with a wonderful emu egg omelette. I'll take their word for it.

Elimination Challenge: the cold war! They will be split into 2 teams and serve the judges and the other team, who will then critique the dishes (which all must be cold) and decide who have the best and worst dishes. Which obvious chef makes gazpacho? (Answer: Tiffany, but it's a sauce to go with tuna and it tastes awesome) For no reason whatsoever, they have to plan their dishes on a boat. I thought the challenge was there, but no, at it's some ballroom or something. I guess they just needed to shove more DC landmark stuff in our faces. So at the tasting, the cheftestants hate each others dishes and critique every little thing. Shocking! Tom calls them out for their overcriticism after claiming a dish that had lemon and tomatoes had no acidity. SERVED!

The 2 nominated for winning dish are Kevin and the hilarious Tiffany (gazpacho cliche- beat!), with Kevin winning it all. Group 1 Kenny voted worse eventhough Amanda's chicken had cartilage in it (not suprising since Angelo was sort of team leader). Though in fairness, Kenny's dish was a little confusing, but it's so obvious there was some game playing going on. Group 2 is not as nasty and far more fair and balanced. Tamesha, Angelo's little protege who thinks she has a winning dish, is unanimously voted as worst and if she's going against Kenny, c'mon, so obvious who's going home. Top Scallop, Tiffany is not, with too much spicing, a gross textured sauce, and a dish lost. Kenny made a duo that didn't tie together, and while he thinks gameplay was a factor, bitchy guest judge Michelle says every component of his dish sucked. SERVED! In what's a surprise only to overly confident Tamesha, she is chopped.

Photo Credits: BravoTV.com, BuddyTV.com, FoodNetwork.com

July 22, 2010

July 20, 2010

The Bachelorette: Frankly, I'm Still in Love with my Ex

The Bachelorette

The episode begins with Chris and Roberto fondly remembering the good times with Ali and hoping they get picked. They pack up, hop in a limo, and get the first flight to Tahiti. Frank, however, has a revelation: while he was falling in love with Ali he realized he was still has feelings his ex, an ex Ali doesn't know about. So with cameras conveniently in tow, Frank heads to Chicago to see his ex and finally decide if he's ready to move on with Ali or get back together with her. Classy move! Shouldn't he have maybe declined a rose weeks ago if he was conflicted? Frank's ex Nicole makes her best attempt to pretend to be surprised to see him (and the camera crew). It's a pretty awkward chat with weird long pauses (channeling the now over Hills), and Frank admits his has real feelings for Ali but as they traveled and made out all around the world he was thinking about Nicole. Nicole even drops a "you complete me" which is always an original one. Frank decides Nicole is who he loves and wants to be with and the show admits they're in love with torturing their chosen stars. Frank, you got some 'splain to do to Ali.

As Frank and his ex reunite in Chicago, Ali has her first date in Tahiti with Roberto (or specifically the island of Le Taha'a which she brags she has all to herself with the guys). Just a guess: they will make out a lot and dance. Oh for christ's sake, they take ANOTHER HELICOPTER RIDE. They arrive at what they say heart-shaped lagoon (looks like like a liver to me), which they proceed to repeat over and over because hearts are so romantic and so is this date. In what is completely shocking, they spend the entire date making out in the water. At dinner, Roberto tells Ali he's falling love with her, so they make out more. Get a GD room already. Luckily, Chris Harrison thinks the same thing and leaves his usual Fantasy Suite card at their romantic dinner which they happily take.

Date #2 takes Chris and Ali on a catamaran where they drink, talk about family, and make out. The romance is finally there, so perhaps that fantasy suite will get some good use- oww oww. Their boat can't make it to this island area, so they swim there and by swim I mean make out in the middle of the ocean while walking up to the island with Ali straddling Chris like a chimp (not an orangutan cause they can't swim). They go hunting for pearls and are both so successful and even find a black pearl. Aren't those rare? It wouldn't shock me if some poor production assistant had to hunt down clams and shove some pearls into them for this date. They have dinner on a private secluded island, like all normal couples do, and Ali drops in lots of Tahitian cooking knowledge that the producers fed her. I'm assuming they ate dinner but it seems like they're just ready to get into that fantasy suite, though Chris does say he could see himself with Ali forever and she could see moving back to Massachusetts to be with him and his family. They head to the fantasy suite, which is some big house and they talk and make out, just like the rest of the date. It's absolutely thrilling to recap.

A really sunburned Frank arrives in Tahiti for his free vacation to crush Ali's soul and leave her for his ex-girlfriend Nicole. Frank, you are a deadman to women across America. Get rid of your Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, move out of your parent's basement- everything! Prepare to be attacked. Frank isn't sure how to tell this news to Ali so he seeks the sage wisdom of Chris Harrison. Chris says he's "blown away" by Frank's news eventhough his face totally reads "dude, the producers told me awhile ago- I'm the almighty, all-knowing Chris Harrison." Apparently he was falling for Ali, but the ex was holding him back from sharing his whole heart with Ali. Frank isn't sure how Ali will react and Chris tells Frank that Ali is crazy for him, which is an understatement. Chris brings up their date starts in an hour- what's he gonna do? Duh- get wasted and go sailing!! Aw man, he's gonna tell Ali the truth.

Ali is ecstatic for her sailing date with Frank, oblivious to the pile of chum (fishing reference!) that will be metaphorically dumped on her in a minute. He tells her "We need to talk" and it's all downhill from there. He explains the feelings he had were real, they were getting stronger and stronger, but he was being held back because he was still in love with his ex and when he saw her again the feelings rushed back. Ali asks him why he never brought this up (answer: because the producers made him play along) and he's at a loss for words. Ali is heartbroken, rightfully so, especially since I've felt that she's wanted to pick him since night 1 and has spent this whole process reassuring him she wanted to be with him. Lots of crying, long awkward goodbye hug, and producer Mike Fleiss probably getting a boner from how he thinks this will be ratings gold. Frank, you are the new Jason Mesnick. Prepare to be hated for a long time.

Ali vents to Chris Harrison, Bachelorette buddha, while Frank dramatically closes the cabana doors ending this chapter of his life. So dramatic! Ali is torn because as much as she hates Frank right now, she also wants him back. God this is depressing to watch. Imagine how Ali is feeling. It's not just that she got dumped, she got humiliated on TV. He picked his ex-girlfriend after leading her on for like 8 episodes. Sure she dumps guys weekly but that's cause she's The Bachelorette and she gets to do the picking. In terms of producer manipulation, this may be their sickest move yet since reports are Frank told them for weeks he wanted to leave and they made him play along. Why not humiliate your star for ratings sake?

There's still a rose ceremony, but it's moreso for Ali to make sure Roberto and Chris accept the roses and want to be with her and not dump her in another exotic locale. Ali had come to accept Frank is not that one and she wouldn't want him back. She's still confident her future husband is still here, but us viewers ain't buyin' it. Ali wants Chris and Roberto to take the roses knowing that she wants them here, not that it's a default (umm kind of a lie since she already said she wanted Frank to meet her family). The 2 guys notice Frank isn't there, Chris Harrison makes an ominous mention, and finally Ali comes out and tells them she didn't have her date with Frank and that he had some issues to take care of back home and is gone. She doesn't mention that Frank dumped her for his ex, but I guess I wouldn't want to rub salt in my wounds either.

Next week: the men tell all! Well except for the men we actually want to hear from because they aren't there (Justin, Frank).

July 19, 2010

Serving of the Week

7/19/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served No comments

Name: Mel Gibson
SERVED: Oh Mel Gibson, you're in big trouble now. A few years back Mel had that drunken racist rant to a police officer and we all laughed it off a bit at the time. Now Mel Gibson is a getting a huge SERVING for allegedly physically and mentally abusing his girlfriend, who decided to prove his terribleness by recording their phone conversations. He's nucking futs on them! While moments can be hilarious (the oh so quotable "You should just smile and blow me!" or "Blow me first!"), the rest is pretty violent and racist. Mel got SERVED pretty hard right after the tapes leaked, getting dropped by his agency. Now they are trying to say the tapes are fake, that the photos are doctored. If this were any other normal average person, the man would be arrested, but because he's famous it's suddenly doubted. Since I'm just an average person looking in, the man looks pretty guilty but I won't declare this as fact cause I am just a ranting blogger just know that as I see it, ya got SERVED.

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

Original photo credit: Dlisted

July 16, 2010

Reality Rundown: Big Brother Twist FAIL

7/16/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Big Brother 12 - Week 1

In the aftermath of the saboteur locking the storage room, the HGs deduce that the only people unaccounted for at the time are Andrew and Brendon. Brendon isn't worrying too much, because he and not-as-annoying-as-1st-episode Rachel are starting a showmance based on their nerdy science bond. Everyone has theories about the saboteur and Kathy, being a cop (actually sheriff), thinks it will be a likable female, to which they realize Annie wasn't in the living room during the blackout either. Enzo decides to form "the strongest alliance in Big Brother history" named The Brigade featuring himself (code name: Meow Meow), Matt, Lane, and HOH Hayden. Hayden decides that his target is Brendon, since he's a strong guy that could also be the saboteur, and would put Brendon against his closest ally, being Rachel.

The first Have or Have Not competition has 3 teams crawling through a moat of caramel and searching a giant pile of popcorn for poorly cut out Styrofoam teeth. That sounds completely ridiculous and makes no sense, but that's Big Brother for you. The caramel is disgustingly thick; it's like the Double Dare Physical Challenge from hell. Kathy gets completely stuck in the caramel near the end of the competition, blowing the lead for her time. Kathy and her team (Rachel, Matt, Ragan) become the Have Nots, living off of slop, cold showers, and shitty beds for the week. Oh and the Have Not room has jars of maggots and dead bugs in it. Gross.

The next morning as Andrew eats breakfast he notices that there are X's taped over Britney and Kathy's faces on the memory wall. The saboteur strikes again in a lame way. Andrew tells Hayden, but Hayden just assumes it's Andrew reporting his own sabotaging way. The saboteur leaves another video message explaining his/her targeting of Britney and Kathy, stating that the "the smallest competitor can be your fiercest competition" and warns them to be observant. Seriously, this is a stupid twist. This saboteur's targeting ends up affecting absolutely nothing and Hayden nominates Brendon and Rachel.

In the aftermath of nominations, Brendon whines, Brendon and Rachel makes out, and Brendon confirms Enzo's theory that Annie is aligned with Brendon and Rachel. HOH Hayden is flabbergasted that Brendon would reveal so much to him, so now he knows who his potential replacement nominee could be and that is the loud whining feed hog that is Annie (am I right, live feed watchers??) Rachel gains her first real enemy when she draws Monet's name for POV and rolls her eyes; sure, that'll help you get saved from eviction! The HGs enter the backyard for the POV competition and the yard is full of pinatas for Cinco de Mayo. Not Mayo is in May, but Mayo as in the pinatas are filled with rotten mayonnaise which they must slam open to find letters to spell the longest word. TECHNOTRONICS, anyone? Brendon wins the POV with the word "understanding" and will obviously save himself from the chopping block.

The Brigade tosses around names of who to nominate. Kathy seems like an excellent pawn but it could backfire on them, but Annie is tight with Brendon and Rachel and trying to make alliances with everyone. The plan is to replace Brendon with Annie and backdoor her out of the game. The guys tell Britney the plan to backdoor Annie and ask her to keep it on the DL. Britney kind of brings up to Annie that she could be filling that replacement nominee spot. Annie confronts Hayden but ultimately thinks Britney is stirring shit up in the house. Just as the drama begins, the saboteur strikes again and tells the house that 2 HGs aren't strangers at all, but are lifelong friends. Paranoia quickly sets in and everyone begins over-analyzing and coming up with the worst pairings. Couldn't the saboteur just be lying to eff with their heads? I guess we'll see. A the POV ceremony, Brendon obviously saves himself and Annie is named the replacement nominee responds by saying, "Lies... weave.. evil webs... Britney." Always a smart move to start to look mentally unhinged when people will be deciding if they want to continue living with you for 3 months.

Annie takes her nomination with grace and poise. Just kidding, she goes nuts. First she blames Britney, then Brendon, she immediately packs her suitcase (mind you, this happened Sunday five days before the eviction on Thursday), and whines a lot. She feels betrayed by Brendon and knows he'll pick his showmance with other nominee Rachel over her. Brendon brings up his guilt during a makeout session with Rachel and she's not pleased with this Annie-interruptus.

Now the best part of the episode is the reveal of the saboteur or what I'm going to call Big Brother's biggest fail yet. Yes everyone, Annie is the saboteur and 100% getting evicted this week so yeah, that twist worked really well. We learn that Annie padlocked the storage room door, taped over the HGs faces, and put a beeping device in a secret place to annoy everyone. Wow, these are just pure evil. How can anyone in this house function with all these insane acts going on? PRETTY F'ING EASILY. This is hands down one of the stupidest twists in reality show history. So they annoy the HGs- big deal. The saboteur should be ruining alliances and sabotaging votes, no hiding a beeper in a bedroom. LAME.

Back to the house drama: the Saboteur (Annie) leaves the HGs another message saying they escaped eviction this week (false). At least it'll leave some paranoia until they realize the shenanigans stop. Brendon becomes prime suspect again because of the phrasing, since he saved himself with the POV. Annie sees this potentially as her saving grace because maybe they'd prefer to get his showmance out before her (they don't- Annie is just that annoying). She also drops some Brendon secrets, letting other HGs know Brendon is actually a smart scientist and not some brainless stud, hoping it'll increase the target on Rachel.

Annie makes one last plea to keep her in the game in her eviction speech, laying it all on the line and throwing Brendon to the wolves and taking Rachel down with her. Someone wants that $50k! Rachel makes the typical "Oh it's awesome being here speech!" and while Annie makes far more valid points, she was a plague in the house this week and played too hard too fast, being a completely annoyance 24/7. I'm not even being facetious when I say every time I turned on the live feeds Annie was on it whining. The house unanimously votes to evict Annie and the Big Brother season twist FAILS. But Annie slightly wins me over when she responds to Rachel's video goodbye about her trying to split up her relationship with Brendon by pointing out Brendon hit on Annie first but she declined so Rachel has sloppy seconds. SERVED!

In a complete reversal of fortune, Rachel wins HOH after a tie-breaker round and producer Allison Grodner is probably breathing a sigh of relief cause if the Saboteur twist is over then at least the showmance will last 1 more week. I am predicting some live feed sexin' this week in that HOH room.

Photo Credits: BuddyTV, CBS.com

Reality Rundown: More like Potat-No's, Am I right?!

The Next Food Network Star - The stars are given the Camera Challenge of creating their own jarred food product which they will then present to a live audience at a shopping center. Wouldn't you know they are all absolutely terrible (except Tom). Some of the products taste pretty good, but no one can present. Serena, queen of Italian food, can't even make a good marinara sauce. Serena and Brianna, who made a delicious berry chocolate sauce but had a crappy presentation, are voted worst by the audience. Tom and Aarti (who tanked her cooking but won with personality) were voted the 2 best.

Bobby Flay brings out Paula Deen, dressed in what I believe is a beige Snuggie pantsuit, to announce the Star Challenge, which is to pair up and serve lunch in lunch trucks. Winners Tom and Aarti are paired together and opt for American comfort with Indian flare. Losers/enemies Serena and Brianna are forced together and pick a theme is being attractive international dining. Aria/Brad focus on All American fare and Herb/Paul go the sandwich and wrap route. Paul/Herb try to bring it, but god is Paul annoying, always trying to be funny but failing. The judges likes their choice to make wraps, pleased the old Herb is back, and think Paul has an identity crisis. Brad/Aria split the duties with her being the spokesperson and him cooking; Paula comments her grandson could make the hot dog and the burger was overcooked. Tom and Aarti really impress the judges with the personalities and great food to match, with a BLC (bacon lettuce cucumber) and a funnel cake. Brianna and Serena actually work well together in the end, impressing the crowds and judges, with all 4 of their dishes please the palettes of the judges.

At the judging panel, Brianna/Serena's girl power is praised, Tom raises to the top of the pack, and Aarti admits she's working on her confidence. Herb and Paul had some overcooked meat, but were also critiqued for some of the bickering, which the crowds noticed. Bobby brings up Paul's latest change in point of view to "Blue Collar Dollar" (someone must not realize that niche is taken by last season's winner hosts $10 Dinners), so Bobby asks what he's going to eat, to which Paul gives the worst answer, or best answer if your plan is to get eliminated: "Well, food." Considering Bobby already seems like kind of an a-hole, I don't know why you'd go out of the way to anger him. Aria/Brad are chastised for their service since it took 30 minutes for their food to be ready for judging, as well as for the dishes being too simple yet not perfect. It's Brad who is more at risk since he is all smiles until the cameras come on. 2 Chix Brianna and Serena are named the winners of the challenge. In what we all knew was inevitably coming, Paul is eliminated which is a relief cause I hate people who try so hard to be funny.

So You Think You Can Dance - Good news: Alex Wong had his surgery. Bad news: another injury, with Ashley sitting out this week from some rib problems. With 7 competitors left, they each get 2 routines again with an All Star and each other, but since there is an odd number, one person gets a 2nd All Star routine and that is Jose. For the first time ever the show will have a B-Boy routine, which we all know will be awesome. Another first: Lauren and All Star Mark perform a Tahitian routine which is a lot of booty poppin'. I won't lie though, it reminded me of Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style when Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa all hula dance at her uncle's resort. AdeChike takes on one of the toughest salsas ever on this show with such awesome stunts - heads sliding down legs, flips, cartwheels- so crazy! Jose falters in his Broadway when his lovable personality is stripped from him and Billy finally partners well in his jive. Teen girls hearts explode out of their chests when Kent and All Star Neil perform a Damn Yankees Broadway together, upping the heartthrob level to a new high. The stand-out of the night is Robert who danced with such strength and passion in a powerful Travis Wall piece- god, it was honestly beautiful. Emmy voters, you can cast your ballot for next year now.

In the 2nd half, Billy and Lauren's Chuck Taylors possess them to dance a funky jazz routine that's cute and fun. I wanted to love Jose and Dominic's breaking piece, but I felt Jose got totally out-danced (in the breaking/hip-hop world, we could say SERVED) by Dominic, but the judges loved it. Kent continues his dude-on-dude dancing night by performing contemporary with AdeChike and it's great to watch and AdeChike show the dancing chops he's lacked the past few weeks and Kent stopped making his campy faces (listen I love Kent, but he makes Broadway face a lot). Robert gets stuck doing a GD disco routine because boy is that still relevant to our world. The only reason I even tolerate the disco routines is for the glittery costumes and tight dancin' pants, but Nigel urges us to consider the difficulty. Considering, advice taken... still hokey.

Results Show. The bottom 3 are Billy, Jose, and injured Ashley. Along with solos we get 2 kids from Mary Murphy's Ballroom school performing, Cat Deeley arm wrestles a kid, an Alvin Ailey company routine, and Twitch and Comfort perform their "Forever" Dave Scott hip hip from season 4. There is also a live performance by newcomer Christina Perry, whose claim to fame came just weeks ago when her song was used on SYTYCD and has suddenly become ridiculously popular. In a non-surprise, Ashley is eliminated because she needs a few weeks of rest so that she can have a future tour as well as participate in the live tour. And then there was 1 girl left.

Top Chef DC - Quickfire: crabs! If you are a vegetarian or sensitive to murder, I hope you fast forwarded through the Quickfire because it was just giant knives slamming and slicing sweet little live crabs. Timothy doesn't fuss with the crabs too much and continues to stress that he's from Maryland, their crabs are the best, don't hide them in other flavors, he's an expert. So it's pretty hilarious when Timothy doesn't rank in Top 3 and Ed wins the challenge (and immunity) and he's the dude who did the old cliche of including Old Bay seasoning.

Elimination challenge: create a family style meal as one giant team for 40 chefs and farmers at an organic farm. There must be at least 6 dishes, everyone must be responsible for something served, and oh yeah, they won't know their equipment until they get there, so expect some archaic shit. I'm hoping they need to churn their own butter (turns out it's just a couple hot plates and grills). Turns out having one large team brings out the monster and there's a lot of bickering about who makes what, who teams up, etc. Eventually everyone pairs up, calms down, and gets the job done. I get a good laugh during the boring mealtime by yelling "that's what she said!" after the guest judge described Amanda's undercooked minestrone veggies as "hard to get into the mouth also."

Judging Panel: Kevin, Kenny, Andrea and Kelly are the top dishes. Kevin is praised for couscous and veggies. Kenny's curry impresses Padma. Andrea's pork loin caused her a lot of stress, but she made an incredible sauce that made the dish delicious. Kelly does the impossible and takes on a dessert along with the pork loin just 'cause and it's really delicious. Kenny's sweet & sour curried eggplant wins the challenge. Time for the stinkers: Timothy didn't do a mussoline so just served teeny tiny turnips and potatoes and just threw in asparagus for color. Stephen serves his salad in a bowl, which I guess is a no-no, and overdressed it (now I'm imagining a head of lettuce in a tux). Amanda's minestrone is described as "amateurish" and didn't have any pasta, just beans. Timothy's turnip and potatoes spells the end for him and he packs up his knives and goes.

Photo Credits: BravoTV.com, BuddyTV.com, FoodNetwork.com, TVFanatic.com