September 30, 2010

Small Servings

9/30/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 1 comment

September 27, 2010

Serving of the Week

9/27/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served 1 comment

Name: Paris Hilton
SERVED: A mere 4 weeks ago, Paris Hilton received her first ever SERVING on this blog when she was arrested for cocaine possession in Las Vegas, claiming it wasn't her purse and the cocaine was chewing gum. In true asshole celebrity fashion, she didn't get sent to jail and was rather fined, sentenced to community service and a drug program. Justice is so wrong. But at least there's karmic justice.

This past week, Paris grabbed her cocaine-less purse and carry-ons and boarded a flight to Japan to "work." When she arrived in Japan, her stupid behavior caught up to her cause customs said, Heeeeeeell to the no and didn't let this bitch into their country. SERVED! It's one thing to know you're stuck, but it's a whole new level of awesome when you board a 15 hour plane ride only to arrive in the country and get NEXTED. Paris, you may have avoided the long-arm of the law, but at least you got SERVED in another fashion.

Honorary Mention: Lindsay Lohan was an obvious choice, but I'm so sick of the bitch, her terrible family, and the way celebrities get away with everything. Butch on Teen Mom violated his parole and is in the slammer; why is Lindsay better than him??

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

Photo Credit: Dlisted

September 24, 2010

Reality Rundown: The Red Hots are for my Mommy

New! The Biggest LoserSurvivor: Nicaragua
Top Chef: Just DessertsProject Runway

New! The Biggest Loser - This season, Bob, Jillian, Alison Sweeney and some special guests are visiting 7 cities around the country to motivate and pick castmembers for this season. In each city there are 3 finalists who compete for 1 of 2 spots; the 3rd is shit out of luck. That's about the only humor you'll get out of me because in full disclosure, this episode gave me the waterworks. I think I dropped 2-3lbs of water-weight from the sobbing. So many sad, terrible stories that you want everyone to get into the house. I could break down all the contestants and cry all over my keyboard, or keep it brief. Either the 3 finalists had to do 500 steps or run 1 mile. People collapsed, people cried, but no one left totally crushed and instead realized no matter where they are, they can drop the weight. The 2 winners are given their official Biggest Loser shirts, now a team, and driven off to the Biggest Loser campus. So this week, it's a brief Rundown but next week: game on.

Survivor: Nicaragua - Holly feels like the outsider after voting off Wendy and doesn't really make a good case for herself when she dumps a pail of snails and fills Dan's alligator shoes with sand and dumps them in the water. Crazy alert! She admits the truth to her tribe and confesses to Jimmy Johnson that she's worn out and ready to quit. Lucky for her, Espada wins immunity and reward (in the form of fishing gear) she she's in a better place. Along with the fishing gear comes a special treat: a clue for the hidden immunity idol. The tribe reads it together, analyzes it, but it's Jill who deciphers the key point that it's by tree mail. Instead of getting the idol herself, she tells Marty and Dan, gaining their trust. Marty and Jill find the idol and a new partnership forms.

La Flor's got their crazy going on too. NaOnka, who has bonded with Sash who'd like to keep minorities in the game, accuses the tribe of hiding her sock so she steals Fabio's. He tries to approach her but she says, "I can get loud too!" and the argument stops. With Tribal Council arriving, La Flor has to decide between emotions (NaOnka) or strategy (Brenda). Chase is torn since he really trusts Brenda, but aligned with Shannon and the dudes. NaOnka and Brenda see something is up and chat and Nay would love to get rid of Shannon or Fabio, preferably Shannon. Brenda and Nay discuss the minority alliance and see the benefit of bringing Chase into the fold. Chase spills all to Brenda and it looks like a tie could be forced between Brenda and Shannon.

There is 2 words for Tribal Council this week: nucking futs. Shannon comes right out and calls out Chase for picking "his girlfriend." First question, lots of drama. Shannon's a ticking time bomb and won't shut up, which makes his target even bigger. Sash tells Shannon he's digging his own grave and Shannon proves to be a huge tool: "I'm get this out of the way right now, are you gay?" Fabio rolls his eyes, Sash rolls his eyes and I'm sure camera operators just had gaped jaws. Sash assures Shannon he's had a ton of hot girlfriends, to which Shannon brushes it off and says that New York is full of gay people. It's brought up that NaOnka was first choice to go, which leads to her discussing her hatred of Fabio. "Fabio, she don't like you," says Jeff. Everyone's ready to vote and Jeff heads off to tally the votes: Shannon is voted off and a sigh of relief is exhaled. I think Shannon is more suited for Tool Academy.

Top Chef: Just Desserts - Quickfire! There's beautiful vats of candy and guest judge Elizabeth Falkner, a pastry chef and Top Chef Master. The challenge is to create a dish celebrating penny candy and the winner gets immunity. One dunce (Heather) uses no candy and is inspired by the flavors- did you hear the challenge?? Seth's dish is supposed to be a tribute to his mom, but he ran out of time and couldn't complete his ice cream. He sobs his way through the presentation, getting on his knees saying "I can't do this!" and "The Red Hots are for my mommy!" Has anyone ever had a Quickfire freak-out? What a nut. The best are Heather H and all her different citrus candies, Danielle's play on "worms in the dirt" and Lemonhead soda and Zach who just shoved a shitload of candies into his cake, whipped cream, etc. Danielle is the winner and receives immunity.

The Elimination Challenge is at a restaurant called The Tar Pit (wouldn't the Peach Pit and its pie be more fitting?) At The Tar Pit, they meet chef Mark Peel at the bar where they learn their challenge is to create a dish inspired by a cocktail. They also have to "shop" for ingredients behind the bar- I bet we see a lot of maraschino cherries and limes. Seth has another freakout when he can't find grapefruit juice and while I understand he wants to win the money to help his mom, it doesn't mean you can be a twit. The baketestants are sympathetic but also point out they've had trauma and issues to but keep your shit together.

Chef Hubert Keller enters the fold this week as the 4th permanent judge, along with Elizabeth Falkner, Mark Peel and his wife/business partner. Seth gets overeager in the kitchen trying to help people and in his frantic movement, he knocks over a portion of Zack's desserts, ruining a key element of his visual presentation. Seth has ANOTHER freakout in the stew room- it's not even worth covering except he declares he'll win it all. At judging table, Erika, Eric and Yigit are the top 3. Erika's margarita bomb is definitely a treat and gives off the cocktail taste while still being a dessert. Eric's pineapple upside cake with bourbon, while simple in plating, gave off a strong bourbon taste but also was a perfectly cooked cake and yummy carmelization. Yigit's panna cotta plate is so colorful and cold, which helped make it more cocktail-y. Erika wins the challenge and I hope they post recipes because I'd love to try this one. Bottom 3: Malika, Tim, and Seth. Tim's Plantation dessert, with basil and rum, melted and was a "soupy mess." Seth served blue cake, which is only cool for a kid's party. The blueberry gimlet taste never came through- where's the gin?! Malika's mojita cake had a frosting reminiscent of supermarket cake frosting- just too sweet. Tim is told to pack his tools and go. If tools were really packed, Seth would be out- ZIIIIIIING.

Project Runway - Never one to shy away from product placement, the designers meet Tim Gunn and that bald-headed guy from L'Oreal to learn their next change: create a high fashion look for a L'Oreal Paris ad. It should be Paris couture "wow" not some BS hipster design. Winner gets their ad in Marie Claire (more product placement!) and something "unprecedented": $20k. Damn, high stakes Quickfire money! Because they tie in their product placement, they must use one of the eyeshadow finishes as inspirations. Oh and of course there's a twist courtesy of Tim: they need to create a 2nd ready-to-wear companion to the high fashion look. If they give you 2 days to work, you should know a twist is coming. Workroom drama: Gretchen and Michael C pick essentially the same color. Mondo's model is far skinnier than his form, forcing him to completely start over from scratch. The designers are stressed by the 2nd look and Valerie seems pretty defeated, crying in the bathroom for wasting time.

Andy, Mondo, and Gretchen are in the top. Gretchen's finish was velvet and her outfit reminds me of an old flapper's nightgown. That's not a compliment, but the judges like it and call it wearable. Andy's metallic finish translates to this crazy futuristic warrior that is very high fashion. I love his ready-to-wear which is so sexy; a fun little black dress with sparkly sleeves. Mondo's high fashion look is definitely the epitome (epy-tome if you're Shia LaBeouf) of bright; it's black and colored stripes, houndstooth, over-the-top- it's his version of a kaleidoscope. His day look is a black and white with some funky downward arrow stripes- oh it's awesome. Ah, Mondo love continues and he wins again! Woohoo!

Ivy, Valerie and Michael have the lowest scores. Ivy's bright is about beaches away; looks like cheap bridesmaid to me. "Bridesmaid under-the-sea," says Michael Kors who thinks all the bottom 3 have a bridesmaid undertone. Valerie is inspired Audrey Hepburn for "crystal" and her white dress reminds me of something pageanty (What? Me and Nina Garcia on the same page?!) It's not high fashion or modern and Michael compares it to something a fairy princess would wear. The ready-to-wear look is god awful. She made little to no effort and it's dowdy with 3 crystals put on just cause. Michael's uses a bordeaux glitzy fabric and once there's a shimmer/glitz it screams DEB or Rave to me. While his construction is done well, it's just not modern or fashion-forward. Poor styling, absurdly long train; Michael Kors says it best: it's all the curtains from Gone with the Wind. In the end it is Ivy who is out. Long time coming- but who will whine about everything?

Photo Credits:,,,

September 23, 2010

Small Servings

9/23/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments

The Amazing Race 17 Pre-Show Winner Prediction

9/23/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment
Can you believe this is the 17th season of The Amazing Race? It boggles my mind. While the show has been a little stale the past few seasons, the watermelon to the face clip has rejuvenated my excitement with the series (clever marketing move, CBS). Skimming over the CBS website, the pairs this season have some interesting connections (acapella singers, home shopping hosts, birth mother/daughter). So it's time for me to review the teams, assess their competitive nature (because personality doesn't mean as much for the race), and choose who I think will win The Amazing Race 17.


KATIE AND RACHEL will win The Amazing Race 17

Talk about a tough pick. Compared to past seasons, there really weren't any stand-out ringers. There's a few I can guess will be eliminated early, but Dan and Jordan weren't necessarily the strongest but triumphed. I was leaning towards couple Jill and Thomas since they take roadtrips (which hopefully means they can read maps), but there's something about their personalities that lead me to believe they'll have an ultimate blow-up on the trip. I've been wavering back and forth between volleyball players Katie and Rachel and best friends Ron and Tony. Ron and Tony are ideal on paper: best friends, have extensively traveled the world, and have great personalities. But something tells me this season of unexpected teams could have an unexpected outcome and give the race it's first ever female winning team. It's a risky pick, but I think their athletic background, strong friendship, and personalities could put Katie and Rachel on top. Plus it's just a ballsy pick- we all know my poor track record.

Who do you think will win The Amazing Race? Leave your prediction in the comments. Get it right and you'll get a shout-out at the end of the season.

Photo Credit:

September 20, 2010

Serving of the Week

9/20/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment

Name: Joe Giudice
SERVED: On this season of Real Housewives of New Jersey, table-flipper Theresa Guidice's husband Joe crashed his car into a phone pole. He was arrested for DUI, but claims he was sober and then while waiting for the cops to come he took some shots at a friend's house (always a wise decision). He was fined, got community service and had his license revoked. Well Joe effed up and was caught driving without a license so he's getting 10 days in the chokey! SERVED! I wonder what crazy story they'll invent this time to defend his actions. DUI, tax evasion, driving without a license- what other crimes can he get up to? This 10 day stint is probably just a warm-up for the tax evasion stuff. Sorry Joe, ya got SERVED by the law.

Honorary SERVINGS: Danielle Staub aka Beverly Merrill whose infamous BMV got repossessed (via Dlisted and Life & Style). The Real Housewives of New Jersey: SERVING it up with a spool of lies week after week. Lindsay Lohan for being out of the slammer/rehab for what, 2 weeks, and already testing positive for drugs multiple times. Bitch, get a clue. Justice, give her a REAL SERVING.

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

Photo Credit:

September 17, 2010

Reality Rundown: Happy Birthday - I Banged My F'ing Roommate

9/17/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Jersey Shore

So MTV decided it would be good to air a new episode before the VMAs which is great for them, annoying for recapping. Then they decided not to post episode photos or stream the episode online so no pictures were available. Days passed, still no photos. Luckily, FourFour recapped the episode so I used some screencaps from them. Thanks FourFour!

Angelina rolls out of Vinny's bed only to answer the phone call from Vinny's mom. News spreads quick in the house that Angelina and Vinny smushed. Snooki thinks Angelina's a whore for accepting gifts from Jose but banging Vinny. The Situation calls her a hypocrite for calling Vinny a scumbag, etc. then going to the bone zone with him. The guys laugh that Vinny visited the Staten Island Dump and Angelina laughs; bitch, they're calling you trash! The Situation declares Angelina proving the Ho equation that a nice guy who takes you out on 4 days, buys you stuff, cuddles but you bang a guy you hate. "You were gonna buy the kid a birthday gift. A Happy Birthday, 'I banged my f*cking roommate.'" Definitely a terrible birthday gift. They want to give Jose a head's up before he goes splurging on another Fossil watch. Snooki's reaction to Vinny and Angelina's hookup is wanting to vomit since she hooked up first. But I guess Angelina's a "loosey goose cause he got it in."

Pauly D doesn't like working at the gelato shop, but uses it to score. He collects the numbers and puts them in a tip jar. Just the tip jar, am I right?! Vinny's whole family arrives in Miami and surprises them at the gelato shop. He brings his mom back the house where she brings a shitload of food. Did she grocery shop or check these in baggage? Lady even brought an Entemann's cake! Vinny's mom begins to make dinner, while Angelina brings Jose over to the house the day after her Vinny hook-up. Soon Vinny's family begins to invade the house, yelling, gesticulating- true Italians. Vinny's Uncle Nino takes the cake. He sounds drunk, but I don't think he is (well not at first). He gives a delightful toast to all the roomies (including J. Lo) and dig into the giant meal, concluding in a dessert of Yodels. Yes, there were sausage and peppas.

JWoww invites Uncle Nino in the hot tub, which Ronnie points out is a creepy scene. INDEED. Uncle Nino is the left of the party, telling us this new quotable: "I went to the doctor. He said, 'Stop drinkin', stop doin' drugs, stop havin' sex.' You know what I did? I switched f*ckin' doctors." At some point Angelina SERVES a volleyball in Snooki's face and she doesn't want to start a fight, but it turns into an angry splashfest. Snooki wants Vinny's family to leave so she can lay the smack down.

After Vinny's family leaves the house gets ready to go clubbing and Angelina fears The Situation's big mouth so tells Jose he can't come out. Pauly and The Situation know any chick is better than no chick, so begin line up possible contenders to select from later. Angelina meets a new guy who she's attracted to named Alex, and is DTF. The Situation steals a hot blonde from Vinny who makes a sad face. They bring all their new guests home, including Angelina's new guy. The girls throw on their sweatpants which is code for gettin' down ta bizness. Unfortunately The Situation's girl has a boyfriend so both ladies leave. But hey, they've gone tons of numbers so eventhough it's 6am they start booty calling. A looooot of voicemails until one raspy voiced girl answers her phone and is willing to bring a hot friend over, but she brings no one since all her friends are grenades. Pauly gets it on in the room while The Situation watches while eating an egg sandwich. Bromance.

The house has a fun day at the beach before heading home to prep for another crazy night out. Angelina begs Mike not to tell Jose about her tryst. Jose comes to the club and he and Angelina are all over each other. The Situation likens Angelina to the Staten Island Ferry: everyone gets a ride, and it's free. Well, Jose still hasn't gotten a ride and he got her a Fossil watch. The Situation plants the seed with Jose, saying Angelina has something she has to tell him. She's pissed, Jose thinks he's getting played, so she admits she hooked up with Vinny, as Vinny dances like a moron next to them (genius GIF, FourFour). She says she's not a slut, but shit happens. They leave the club to talk and Angelina insists she's not into Vinny, and Jose hopes he doesn't find out she's kissing another guy tomorrow. That's right: Jose believes she only kissed Vinny, so she's in good shape.

The rest of the house heads to another club where Vinny sees the most beautiful girl he's seen in Miami (didn't he say that last week?). She's a go-go dancer there and he thinks he's met his future wife. Pauly D is lucky in love too- finding a cute Cuban girl who's down to earth and not just a one-night smush. He even declines having her over that night and asks her for a date the next night. Vinny and Pauly decide these girls are special so they double date. Vinny's so excited he starts breakin'. They're such girls- getting new outfits, hair cuts, flowers, laundry... so adorable. Bad news comes when they get home: Ramona cancels the date, leaving Vinny crushed. Ronnie encourages Vinny to still go out, just bring a different girl. Vinny calls her again insisting it's just dinner and he got her flowers, so it sounds like she changed her mind. He's a "bink" which I guess Italians say is fresh.

Pauly's squeeze arrives and they head to dinner. Poor Vinny gets stood up. He sips his red solo cup of sadness, checking his watch. Awww.

Photo Credits: BestWeekEver, FourFour

Reality Rundown: Jackie Kennedy Would Not Have Camel Toe

New! Survivor: NicaraguaFinale! Top Chef DC
New! Top Chef: Just DessertsProject Runway

New! Survivor: Nicaragua - 2 jumbled up groups meet in the middle of the Nicaraguan rainforest not to sell heroin, but to meet up with Jeff Probst and begin the ultimate game: Survivor. After getting some first impressions and whispers of "That old man is an NFL coach!" Jeff informs everyone there is something called the Medallion of Power hidden. First person to find it gets some sort of power for their whole tribe. Everyone skedaddles, searching high and low (and in the water) for the medallion but a cute young girl, Brenda, spies it in the tree and secures it for her tribe. Older guy in blue shirt Marty is psyched, but Jeff tells him don't get too excited: these groups aren't their tribes. Jeff puts the 40+ people on the blue tribe (Espada) and the under 30s on the yellow tribe (La Flor). I could've guessed it by the semi-coordinating outfits; young people in yellow/brights, old in blues/darks. Then Jeff gives some info on the Medallion of Power: La Flor can trade in the medallion now for flint and fishing supplies or hold onto it and use it later. If they hold onto the medallion, Espada gets the flint, etc. After much debate, La Flor chooses to keep the flint and fishing gear, giving the old fogies a shot at a future power.

Espada gets the focus first and former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson is the hot gossip. His tribemates are sort of in awe, while Jimmy knows he's gonna have to really make some moves to get everyone to align with him and not just vote off the famous guy. In the middle of the woods, swim coach Holly tries to make an immediate alliance with kooky cowboy hat wearing goat farmer Wendy. Jane, a dog trainer, amazes all by starting a fire with a pair of glasses. Jimmy Johnson gets so amped and overexcited that his body shuts down on his and gives him the dry heaves later that night. Jimmy comes to the realization that after watching every episode of Survivor you wouldn't know how hard it is out there. Really dude?

We then meet up with La Flor who has this dude Jud who has long blond hair and rocks acid wash jeans; he's also extremely dumb and the men name him Fabio. Shannon comes off as the team douche first, wanting to align with strong Chase (my pick to win) and make sure a woman doesn't win this; they've both got blurred underwear bulge- hot! But later Chase bonds with Brenda and an instant trust/bond is formed, so Chase now has 2 alliances and might be screwed (d'oh). Brenda says he's clueless; totally using him. Save him til week 3 for my record. Speaking of women, Kelly B. who has a noticeable limb realizes she can't keep her secret very long and reveals to her tribe that she is an amputee and has a prosthetic leg. Jud/Fabio is baffled and wonder how she gets it to work [slaps head]. Everyone praises her braveness, but also know you can't bring someone like that to the end. Hello, target. Kelly B. and Alina find a clue to a hidden immunity idol at tree mail, but it's confusing so they hide it. Alina also knows Kelly B can't stay long because of sympathy votes.

Immunity challenge! Before getting there, Jimmy Johnson gives a pep talk because while he knows he can't win, he wants one of his tribemates to. He talks a lot- he'd annoy me at camp. Anyways, the tribes are brought in by Jeff (with La Flor doing a tribal chant or something) and explains the rules: one person will pour water into gutters held by tribe members to lower some puzzles, solve the puzzle and win. Espada has the Medallion of Power so Jeff reveals that the MOP gives a huge advantage at challenges: if they use it, they can start with 1 bucket of water in the barrel and since it takes 5 buckets it's a good headstart. Espada chooses to hold onto the MOP to prove a point that they don't need no stinkin' medallion. The challenge starts and Jeff has completely given up on tribe names on day 2 by calling them "older tribe" and "younger tribe." La Flor gets a slight lead, but Espada is close behind. The women work on the puzzle and it becomes a true battle of old vs. young since it's so close. La Flor aka younger tribe wins immunity sending someone from Espada to early Survivor retirement.

Espada comes back nursing their war wounds and another loudmouth, Jimmy T, wants to vote off Jimmy Johnson. He doesn't want to get blinded by stars and thinks he's talks of wanting to win someone else a million is a crock. Jimmy Johnson would like to vote off Wendy, sending Holly into sheeeeeeeit mode since she stupidly made an alliance with the person that was obviously the weakest person on the show. Wendy knows she's in trouble since she has no bonds and Holly is avoiding her. The question is who will make the tribe stronger? At tribal, Jimmy J keeps trying to use the jury won't give him a million argument, but Jimmy T disagrees thinking a jury would most definitely give him the prize. Wendy is upset no one knows anything about her and didn't ask her age, which is stupid because everyone knows you don't ask an older woman her age. Wendy interrupts Jeff to try and make a last ditch effort to save herself, but she's so annoying and her attempts at humor stink so she's eliminated.

Finale! Top Chef DC -We pick up where last week ended which is immediately after elimination where Padma enters the stew room to bring the final 3 back to judging. They arrive to find the infamous knives and learn about their final challenge: create a 4 course meal of the most amazing food of their lives. Course 1: vegetable, course 2: fish, course 3: meat (Tom and Eric Ripert will choose the protein for them- perhaps monkey, course 4: dessert. They get some extra help, which is where the knives come in: 3 past Top Chef winners, Michael Voltaggio, Hung, and Ilan, will be their sous chefs (selected by a knife draw). Kevin and Michael actually worked together 10 years ago, so that's definitely a benefit. Angelo wanted Hung since both cook Asian food, so he lucked out. Ed is with Ilan. They head to the house to prep, but Angelo is feeling sick. The 3 winners give some good advice: don't cook stuff you haven't done before. Sounds like a duh but someone always effs up.

The next morning Angelo is feeling like hell, vomiting and feverish. He doesn't want to give up, but a doctor is coming because he's so miserable. The doctor gives him a 20% chance of being able to compete at the final challenge the next day. The show must go on for the other 2, so Kevin, Ed and their sous chefs (and Hung all alone) meet Tom and Eric to see the ingredients they bought. It's like when you buy new clothes and show them off for your mom but instead of jeans it's cockles, slipper lobster and duck. The fish course must be rouget and the meat must be duck, but they have to incorporate some other wacky proteins too. The chefs go on a supermarket sweep, but slower with more deliberation. Hung has to shop via a phone call with Angelo but it seems to work OK. They head to the kitchen to begin prep while the doctor gives Angelo a shot in the butt.

Day of competition: the doctor gives Angelo the OK to cook. Game on, chefs. Prep, prep, cook, cook, Ed sweating, everyone swearing. The usual kitchen stuff. The usual judges take their seats and bring along some special guests but there's too many to name. Also, there's too many courses to name/write about each dish so let's skip the dinner critiques and get right to the panel judging, which is where it matters. Angelo is first: they really enjoyed his seafood brother, didn't understand the cherry thing with his duck. Ed's duo of duck, particularly the stuffed neck, was excellent. His dessert was OK but it wouldn't win the competition for him; this is funny because he didn't make the dessert, he had his sous chef conceive and create it. Kevin's duck l'orange was perfectly cooked and his Singapore Sling 2010 dessert was refreshing, surprised, and universally loved. It was a great meal for the finale, but the winner is the person who took the most risks and made the best meal. Kevin is declared Top Chef. Congratulations Hosea, you're no longer the most blah winner of Top Chef ever.

New! Top Chef: Just Desserts - I know many people are dreading this spinoff of the Top Chef franchise, but I can't wait. Personally, I'm a baker, not a cook so I can't wait to delve into pastries. It's also hosted by TC judge Gail Simmons, and I really like her. Do we still call them cheftestants? Maybe baketestants would be better? Plus, I wonder what the witty baking elimination catchphrase will be?? The baketestants are picked up at the airport in a double decker bus waiting to what's to come: Gail arrives with the head judge, Johhny Iuzzini who is a famed pastry chef with a sweet Elvis/Crybaby haircut. The first Quickfire is to introduce their skill and talent through their signature dessert; winner gets immunity. What's mind boggling is that recipes aren't allowed in this competition and pastry/baking is all about precise measurements. Oh man, I'd be sca-rewwwwed!

The Just Desserts kitchen is beautiful: colorful Kitchen Aid mixers, baking pans galore... can I live there?! As the chefs are full-steam, Gail and Johnny arrive with a twist: their dessert must be transformed into a cupcake. Everyone freaks out, runs around like mad people- it's pure chaos! The least favorite is Monica (who didn't finish), Tim (because it wasn't a cupcake at all), and Zack (marshmallow failure). The best are Seth (an herby cupcake with basil frosting), Tania (interesting flavor combo), and Heather C (carrot cake with creme fresh). The winner is Seth (who says he looks like Mark Wahlberg or Dexter, but I see Danny from Lost), and he gets immunity.

The elimination challenge: create a luxurious chocolate dessert to impress 50 chocolate connoisseurs including Jacque Torres aka Mr. Chocolate. The party begin in the Just Desserts dining area where we meet the other judges for this week: Dannielle Kyrillos, editor-at-large for Daily Candy and permanent judge, and Jacques Torres of Jacques Torres Chocolate. Jacques tries his first ever whoopie pie, which is amusing to watch. Seth, Heather H, and Zack are called to the judge's table first and are the top 3. Zack is crying, comparing desserts to a baby. Zach makes chocolate fondant and even puts some "disco dust" on it; it has a lot of textures and components, being called a "party in their mouth." Heather dark chocolate mousse topped with Grand Marnier has some great crunch to it. Seth makes a cutting edge curry for dessert, surprising the judges. Heather wins for embracing chocolate decadence best. The bottom 3 are Danielle, Tania and Morgan. Danielle's tart "exploded" on the plate, making it hard to eat. Tania's mousse had a weird texture and didn't have enough chocolate to balance the bad mousse. Morgan's milk chocolate flan separated and had too much, making a "jarring contrast." Tania is eliminated for poor execution of her mousse- her "dessert just didn't measure up. Pack your tools and go." Boooo- booooooring!

Project Runway - Heidi tells the designers they are stepping back in time and to go meet Tim. Wow, amazing hosting. THIS gets an Emmy nomination?? Tim stands in front of a collage of photos of Jackie Kennedy and her iconic classic American sportswear. The challenge is to create their own take on American sportswear. 1 word: JOVERALLS. They sketch on their product placement things, shop at Mood, and get cracking in the workroom. The pressure is on because not only is Jackie Kennedy legendary but there's only a few designers left so you can't mess up. On the day of the runway show, Tim arrives to announce that it is not runway day. Maybe it's a "say something hat day?" No, the designers now have an additional day and have to create outwear to accompany their sportswear. Line of the night goes to Tim critiquing Andy's pant's crotch: "Jackie Kennedy would not have camel toe." Put that on a t-shirt!

Runway show! The guest judge is January Jones who you may know as the dead-behind-the-eyes-worst-mother-in-the-world Betty Draper on Mad Men. Christopher creates an asymmetrical shimmery dress with a fur/leather shawl. It's very Jackie Kennedy- classy, sexy, but the don't dig the "dirty dish rag" shawl. Mondo's look is awe-some: it's a large purple houndstooth pencil shirt with a horizontal black and white strip top with a little black jacket. It's fun, elegant, and clever. Love itttt! Plus, Mondo matches his model. Ivy made some big elephant pants, a white asymmetrical top, and a sheer gray chiffon jacket; Heidi thinks there's too much design, but other judges like it. Mondo wins the challenge- yay!

Valerie makes a wool vest on top of a dark purple jacket, which she tries to say is a blouse. It's meh and Michael Kors says it's sad. Michael Drummond's pleated skirt looks like H&M gone terrible. The jacket is ugly. It's a hot mess all around and Michael Kors says it's insulting to sportswear. Andy makes curtain pants- that's what I'll call them. They are draped and have a big wedgie in the butt. Heidi wants to LOL at this look, thinking about how hideous Jackie O. would look in them. Michael Kors calls it "MC Hammer meets the Beverly Hillbillies grandmother" and keeps saying "c'mon!" (channeling Gob Bluth) I'm pretty shocked that Andy is safe, but the judges respect him at least not being boring. Michael Drummed is out and it looks like my Diff'rent Strokes jokes end here.

Photo Credits:,,

September 16, 2010

Reality Rundown: The 10 Week Nap Called Big Brother 12 is Over

9/16/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Big Brother 12 - Finale

It's the finale and it's time for the Brigade to begin to crumble since 1 person will get eliminated before the final 2. In their stupid hand-drawn Brigade t-shirts, Hayden makes a deal with Lane but Lane's not sure if he'd beat him. Enzo doesn't want to roll over and die because he created the Brigade and GD it, he's gonna make an effort to win. Enzo approaches both Lane and Hayden to make his case, snoooooze. I don't care. Get to the final HOH comp and jury, this season's a snore.

Jury house! Tensions have settled and Ragan is processing forgiving Matt. Britney arrives in her "Bra-gade" alternate shirt and explains to the jury the secret alliance that is the Brigade. Everyone is pretty stunned, especially Ragan who realizes Matt was using him. Poor Ragan looks like someone kicked his puppy; he realizes in this game he was expendable to any person he aligned with. Matt takes offense to Enzo's claim that he formed the entire alliance, cause he's the brains- a genius! The genius has to again reveal that he lied about his wife, which Britney responds is "horrible" and "baaaaaad" but she doesn't seem as shattered as say Ragan and Kathy. Britney is disappointed that she's arrived at the jury house to find Rachel not pregnant. Oh Britney, you rule. The jury gets dressed up and discusses the final 3 and Rachel thinks it's not very strategic if they lose everything, but Britney and Ragan realize they ran the whole house with the side votes. All 3 are debated, giving pros and cons like Enzo wins shit but has an excellent social game, while Hayden charmed them, and Lane didn't burn any bridges. It's a tough decision to vote for such losers.

Hayden and Lane compete in the final round of the HOH competition: how well do they know the jury? The jury member will complete a sentence and they must choose A or B to select the ending. It's kind of a crapshoot of questions, yet at the same time some are soooo obvious which leads to a tie-breaker question. Julie asks the HGs to name how many times Big Brother slammed them into the walls during part 1 of the HOH competition. Seriously? Worst. Question. Ever. Hayden says 91, Lane says 55; 250 is the correct answer and Hayden is heading to the finale. But who will he pick? Doesn't matter because this game has already been won in my eyes. Lane and Enzo make their final plea and Hayden casts his vote to evict Enzo (who he believes will win the $25k fan fave prize), bringing Lane to the finale.

Julie interviews Enzo, who is as arrogant as you'd expect. He believes he's played one of the best social games ever, but is a grenade at competitions. He brags about creating the greatest alliance ever and is so sure he would've swayed the jury. He also promises to dirty dance with every person at the after party. No thanks. Enzo doesn't have to sit with Julie long, as the jury is brought out and he joins them to cast his vote for $500k.

The jury is brought out with one empty seat, which is quickly occupied by Enzo. The group was tasked to come up with 6 questions and each will ask 1 question to the finalists. Lane is asked why he didn't win competitions and who Hayden would've liked to see as final 2 (non-brigade) so he says Brendon and Britney. Matt asks Lane if he would've taken Britney or a Brigade member to the final 2 and he's pretty non-committal unless Julie pries; he would've picked a Brigade member because he's "100% Brigade" ("well not 100%" - Matt). Kathy asks a dull question, Britney asks what was Lane's biggest contribution to the Brigade (laughter and watching after them is his answer, which makes me laugh cause that is a terrible response). Ragan asks if they regret saying anything behind jury members backs; Hayden doesn't have a specific example but says the DR has some stuff but everyone does it and it's part of the game. Enzo finishes it off by asking if what Lane said in his goodbye message is true, would he have taken Enzo to the final 2? Lane says he would've lost to either of them, so we'll see what happens.

Hayden and Lane get to make a final plea for a jury vote and at this point it's like, who gives a shit? Hayden's argument is he won 5 competitions, 3 HOHs in a row and a veto that carried the Brigade to final 3. He then rambles about shit-talking, etc. Lane's speech is about how awesome everyone else was and he wanted to win comps, it just didn't happen that way. The jury casts their votes and get to make 1 witty final statement.

But the votes aren't revealed yet because we need to suffer through the 4 pre-jury HGs that no one gives a shit about. The 4 HGs that have experienced the outside world get some flashback clips to their memorable moments (barely any, which is why they were evicted). It's revealed Hayden and Kristen did indeed have a showmance and Andrew shocks them all by revealing he is a podiatrist, not a shoe salesmen, and mentions Matt's wife not being sick and indicates the correct pronounciation. It's a big reveal to the Brigade and Enzo assumed this could've been a saboteur move way back. Matt's defense is that he was garnering sympathy votes and didn't mean to hurt them. After discussing the vomit inducing Brenchel, the house FINALLY learns that Annie lied about life long friends AND the identity of the second saboteur and that they won $20k. The HGs maintain Kathy or Matt were the saboteur, but jaws drop when it's Ragan.

After dragging as for 2 hours and 10 weeks of boring, the winner of Big Brother is announced. A 3-3 vote leaves Enzo as the deciding vote for the prize. The winner of Big Brother 12 is Hayden, dressed to the 9s in a flannel shirt. Britney is then awarded the prize of America's Favorite Houseguest and gets $25k. I think the show should send me a small check for blogging and watching probably the dullest season of the show ever- even compared to season 1. At least season 1 had a literal pig for a week rather than a house of metaphorical ones.

As for the pre-show winner predictions, reader Russ was oh-so close with his initial pick for Lane. So close!

Small Servings

9/16/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

September 14, 2010

Survivor: Nicaragua Pre-Show Winner Prediction

9/14/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , , 3 comments
After my bold, ballsy, and ultimately incorrect guess of the winner of Big Brother 12 (and 11) I was told by some readers they loved the predictions. I'd get asked, "Who do you think will win Project Runway?" and I'd say, "No clue!" Then reader Russ on Facebook asked who I thought could win some upcoming fall shows and I thought, "Oh yeah, I should do this!" By popular demand, I'm going to make a ballsy prediction for who will win Survivor: Nicaragua, starting Wednesday September 15 at 8PM on CBS (that's tomorrow and a new night).

The promos have already revealed that this season it will be old (40+) vs. young (under 30), which makes the prediction process so much harder than a random jumbled tribe. Plus, the 30-39 range is the ideal age for a Survivor winner so having them not in the mix really kills my guessing. With Big Brother, I've gone with a gut feeling but this time I had to do some actual thinking. I read their bios, watched their videos, and got into their psyche (that part is a lie). Right off the bat, I'm nixing Jimmy Johnson, the former NFL coach. It's hard, but I'm going to make a quasi-educated guess.


CHASE will win Survivor: Nicaragua

This pick could really bite me in the behind. Chase comes off as a nice guy, and sometimes nice guys go out early. However, I see him being nice enough to be kept around and strong enough to be needed on a tribe. His video makes him seem a little wiser/older than his age (and a lot of the young guys seem like douches), so we'll see if he can outwit, outplay, outlast. The only other person I was really on the fence about for the winner pick is Tyrone, who (as he points out) is hopefully young enough to get along with the other tribe, but also a fireman so strong and has survival skills. NaOnka is another that charmed me in her video, but I don't know if she could win it all. Now I say/hope Chase wins the whole thing for my ego, but if they're going to lose, please go out week 3 to keep up my streak of loser picks.

Who do you think will win Survivor: Nicaragua? Leave your prediction in the comments. Get it right and you'll get a shout-out at the end of the season.

Photo Credit: BuddyTV

Bachelor Pad: We're All Winners When We Hear "Love Don't Come Easy"

9/14/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Bachelor Pad - Finale

Chris Harrison calls the remaining 6 into the living room to assign this week's challenge, which guarantees a spot in the final 4. The challenge: ballroom dancing. I wonder if dancer Tenley will be delightful at it. They'll train with a professional choreographer and perform for a panel of 3 judges. Best score goes to final 4. So into your dancing gearing, get into a limo (no helicopter - sad face), and meet the choreographer. Well wouldn't you know it's a Dancing with the Stars professional assigned to each couple. Shocker that Bachelor Pad would use it's final episode to promote DWTS, which takes its timeslot next week.

Jesse thinks Edynta is super sexy; Elizabeth isn't pleased and jealous. Perhaps it's because besides a smokin' bod, Edynta's hair doesn't look like it was bleach dyed. Childlike Tenley gets the young Chelsea to train her and Kiptyn. Dave/Natalie get Louis van Amstel (anyone miss his mullet? not me). Dave is ready to dance and not afraid to get in touch with his feminine side; I'm sure Louis felt flattered. Louis asks if his couple had sex in the house, Dave denies, Louis thinks he's a liar, and requests they dance like they are in the bone zone.

The 6 get gussied up in sparkly costumes and are ready to bust a move. The judges will base their votes on performance, chemistry, and effort (an effort score is for 4th graders). Oh and the winner isn't just in the final 4, they get to choose who to bring with them to the finals. What astute judges will make this powerful decision? Jilted Bachelorette/3rd place dancer Melissa Rycroft, famewhore Bachelor Jake Pavelka and 1st person ever voted off DWTS/successful Bachelorette Trista Sutter. Kipytyn and Tenley perform a foxtrot and it's danced really well, if you pay attention to dancing and not her terrifying spray tan. They score a 26/30. Kovacs and Elizabeth dance next, performing a rumba. It is in no way as sexy as watching Edynta dance, though Elizabeth's emotionless face gets a perfect 10 from me. They receive 24 points and lose! Yay! Dave and Natalie close off this spectacular dance off with a cha cha. I have no comments because the strobe light gave me Pokemon seizures, but Dave forgot some of the moves. Dave and Natalie score a 25. Kiptyn and Tenley giggle their way to the finals (well she giggles, he tolerates it).

Post-competition, Kiptyn and Tenley bask in the victory afterglow (by making out in a tub), while Elizabeth pouts and gets angry. Elizabeth is worried she disappointed Kovacs, but she thinks there's still a chance for them since they haven't won anything. Dave is disappointed in himself, blaming his mistake for their loss. Eh, kinda true. The couples in jeopardy worry it's over and are so glad they found love (yeah right). Dave and Natalie believe their "love" could last if they live in the same city, which this money would help do. Kiptyn and Tenley, wearing an 80's prom dress with horrific sleeves, now have to make the decision of who to bring to the live studio audience finale. Campaigning is done, Tenley got the puffy sleeves Anne of Green Gables so dearly desired, and big decisions are made. Kiptyn and Tenley decide to extend the roses for the finale to Dave and Natalie. Elizabeth and Kovacs are out and the only sad part of this is that Elizabeth's reign of terror extended to the final episode. But they found a relationship and I'm sure they're going strong (heh). The final 4 lovahs head off into the moonlight, ready to the finale.

Live studio audience finale! All the roseless men and women are on the stage for a little reunion and to help make one big decision. Taking a page from Survivor's book, the roseless shall act as a jury and ask angry questions before casting the vote to determine which of the final 4 will win the prize. Reunion stuff first! Elizabeth (with newly dyed to a normal shade hair) and Kovacs are no longer dating (whaaaaat?! I'm shocked), and in fact barely dated after the show. Gia half-acknowledges she mucked up the game, is single, and smooches "bad boys need some love" Wes who didn't get any from her in the kissing contest. No one else is important so they bring out the final 2 couples. Tenley and Kiptyn are dating for realsies, while Dave and Natalie say they are dating long-distance. Who cares about their love life: roseless people, it's time to grill 'em!

Questions and comments! Someone asks why Dave jumped to Natalie right after Jessie, and they sort of dodge whether they'll date afterwards. Jessie seems hurt and believes it was a game move, which Krisily is seething because Dave didn't give her advance notice about her elimination. Peyton doesn't love that Kiptyn lied to her about his in-house relationship, but tries to smooth talk it before Gia interjects that he voted off Nikki who saved him in the game. Michelle definitely will not be voting to Tenley to win, pissed at Tenley's gossiping ways. Tenley gives a pageant answer so Michelle says "what goes around, comes around, so I don't really care." Hey-o! Michele is the closest we get to a Sue Hawk moment.

Before the final vote, the couples get to plead their case for a vote. Dave and Natalie explain they had tons of fun and provided comic relief, will use the money to pay off debt and start a charity, and they played as honest and fair as they could. Gwen (??) choked up, pipes in that she was so upset that Dave made a comment about it being sad for people in their upper 30s being there. He won't exactly take it back, but says it's personal preference. Oh and the (??) should be (39). Kiptyn and Tenley give their speech, with her baby talk and shaking voice. Right before the show Tenley lost her house, then brings up the ex-husband bomb and how her and her parents made a failed investment in buying her home. The show does a good job editing this since Reality Steve heard a different story, with Tenley giving an obnoxious diatribe. Kiptyn plans to splurge a little then pay it forward with charity money. Juan brings up they Kiptyn, Natalie and Dave were great competitors and has no idea how Tenley was there. Jessie points out she won lots of stuff and don't question her like that. God, Tenley is truly a saint.

The votes are cast for the couple they want to receive the money. First couple to 8 votes moves onto the final step for a chance at the prize. Dave and Natalie win the vote, ending with a big Dave and Wes hug. Beef resolved! Onto the final stage: ripping another page from a show's book, Bachelor Pad goes all Friend or Foe for the final prize. Natalie and Dave are brought to separate delibartion rooms with 2 cards: keep or share. If they want to split the prize money, they pick Share and get $125k each. If they want to keep the money for to themself, throw up the Keep card; the person who chose keep gets all the money. However, if they both select Keep then they get $0 and the roseless get to split the money between them. The audience is hooting and hollering, clearly not Game Show Network fans. The roseless ponder what moves they'll make, with Natalie being the prime Keep suspect. Dave reveals first: SHARE! Natalie wants to explain, acting quite guilty. Well she SERVED us (not really): she picked SHARE TOO! Dave and Natalie split the $250k, with Dave planting a big kiss on host Chris Harrison. Hot.

Rounding out the season: one last performance of Wes' #1 hit sensation "They Say Love Don't Come Easy" complete with a castmember singalong.

So everyone, that was Bachelor Pad and I enjoyed the ride, eventhough I know most loathed. I didn't love how it basically rigged the show for showmances, but at least fun people won. Heck, it might not have been so fixed if Gia didn't blow it week 2. But, to maybe resolve some issues with the partners/showmance favoring, here's my suggestion for improving the show: pair up the contestants on day 1. It could be random, through a challenge, just some way to makes some crazy partnerships. THEN, when it gets to another point in the game, give them the option of keeping their existing partner OR switching up for a better player, a showmance, etc. Just my 2 cents!

Photo Credit:

September 13, 2010

Reality Rundown: The Rob Kardashian of Staten Island Got a Free Fossil Watch

9/13/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , 1 comment
Jersey Shore

The show picks up where last week ended, with Angelina blowing JWoww's phone call out of proportion and her and Sammi getting into fisticuffs. Sammi gets a good punch in before it just turns to hairpulling on the floor. Then Ronnie throws Vinny across the room, blaming Vinny for starting the fight. Angelina plays the "woe is me" card, Snooki screams at her, and then Snooki says Angelina wrote the letter too. Snooki yells that she was trying to help Sammi with the note, but Sammi's pissed and Ronnie claims JWoww and Snooki were just trying to bring them down. Ronnie then decides to bring JWoww's boyfriend into this, she goes Hulk again and tries to throw a styrofoam container of food at him. JWoww leaves the room saying she'll get the last laugh. Her and Snooki lament ever trying to help Sammi and are annoyed that Angelina looks innocent when she knew the truth too.

The next morning JWoww is supposed to work with Sammi and Ron, but calls their boss Enzo to skip work to get her 2 broken nails fixed. The fight seems to have eased tension with Ronnie and Sammi and they go to dinner together later that night. Pauly D and Vinny spend their day at the beach picking up some ladies. They hit it off with 2 girls until she cracks a smile and reveals a herpe on her lip. Pauly is petrified. The Situation and Angelina are the shift after Ronnie and Sammi, and Angelina complains about how much she hates Vinny and that he's ugly. Her Miami squeeze, Jose, visits her at work and showers her with a Fossil watch (The Situation's retail estimation: $39.99).

A hot-tubbing Vinny pulls Sammi aside to check and see if they're OK, but also explain that it was Angelina that started the trouble. He also informs her Angelina is the one who provided the information for the infamous note. Angelina is inside swooning/bragging over her new watch, and Pauly maintains that she should let him hit that; she's not interested. Of course, she'll still let him take her to dinner. Dude's gettin' used! The guys and Sammi head to a Felt for some beer and billiards, with Sammi riding her from her fight excitement. It's short-lived because JWoww and Snooki arrive, causing Ronnie/Sammi to whine to themselves. JWoww and Snooki get a table to themselves, the rest of the house at another. Angelina and Jose arrive and she tries to talk to Sammi who's not in the mood and would rather a one-on-one later. Trouble's a-brewin!

Sammi approaches Angelina about the note and her part in it. Angelina, of course, denies writing it but Sammi says she knows Angelina provided the facts. Still denies. Angelina is playing all sides and it's going to burn her, but there's no other girls for Sammi to complain to so Angelina will do. Angelina won't stop complaining about Vinny, so they get into an argument, with him calling her shady, and her calling him a sleaze. And then Vinny wins perhaps quote of the season: "Alright Kim Kardashian- you're more like the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island you ugly bitch!" Mutual hatred. Vinny and The Situation grab another hot tub moment together, discussing the girl fight. They think it's hilarious how Ron got off scot-free. The Situation explains Ronnie was dogging Sammi, peeing all over her, and compares their relationship to wanting to believe Santa is alive. The Situation is a poet.

The whole house goes clubbing and has a good time. Drama free so far! Vinny meets the most beautiful girl he's seen in Miami, using the old good smelling perfume line. He gets some kissin and brings her home. Angelina hates on the sideline calling her a grenade. Snooki means a hot Spanish guy and brings him back to the house. Expecting some cuddling, her guy instead makes good use of the kitchen to make food. Then they hook-up with JWoww in the room with moaning in between questions about her new dude (name: Dennis). Snooki insists there was no actual smushing, but JWoww's lack of sleep from the moaning thinks otherwise. Sammi, JWoww, and Vinny have an awkward day at work together, while Sammi continuing to complain to their boss. Hating JWoww is the new note drama.

Angelina gets a call from Jose and declines a date that night, so he tells her to behave. Bitch, he got you a Fossil watch! JWoww and Snooki stay in and Snooki invites Dennis over. JWoww cannot tolerate another tight of moaning, so they disinfect the smush room in some makeshift hazmat suits. Snooki gets all gussied up since she's hoping tonight she'll "get it in"- yeah, this is a catchphrase I will not be using. "Smush" is more PC. Dennis brings a busted friend for JWoww, who the show has dubbed "man grenade" or as Snooki calls him "grenade grundle choad." JWoww sees the guy and opts instead for bed; Snooki has Dennis send his friend home and they head to the smush room.

The rest of the house is at the club and has a crazy night. They get into the cab and Vinny and Angelina are making out!!! GROSS! The house dubs her "Staten Island Ferry" and Pauly suggests they stop somewhere to buy a Fossil watch. At the house, Vinny and Angelina quickly sneak off into his room, him super sloppy with his sunglasses. Cue to nightcam: smush city! And to think 15 minutes ago they hated each other.

Photo Credits:

Serving of the Week

9/13/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments

Name: Britney, Big Brother 12
SERVED: It was a sad week in Big Brother and not just because it is depressingly dull. The Brigade finally outed their "successful" alliance (how is it a success if you voted one member out weeks ago?). Sounds not too bad, except they did it in a fashion for sass-talking Britney to suddenly get run over by the bus. I know there are many Britney haters, but I'm a fan and it was painful to watch her dreams of winning BB12 get crushed in a matter of seconds. She got SERVED by putting her faith in 3 guys who don't even care about winning the show, rather all the alleged fame they think they'll get afterwards, rather than other contestants who warned of a boy's alliance (Ragan). Now she's off to the jury house and being locked in a house again with Rachel is a SERVING all in its own.

Thanks to Jason for this week's suggestion!

Think someone should get SERVED? Leave your ideas in the comments section, email me, or hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.

September 10, 2010

Reality Rundown: The Final Snore

9/10/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
Big Brother 12 - Week 9

The Christmas tree ornament HOH competition lasts for what seems like forever. Britney breaks about a dozen ornaments and eventually gets the hang of it. Enzo is slow. Hayden is a machine, a master of chicken wire maneuvering. He wins HOH and Britney knows she's going up on the block- but who to go up with her?

Because the final 4 is always a boring time, Big Brother threw in a luxury competition to fill an hour of television amuse the houseguests. Each HG had to hide a big coin in the house and search for the coins; last coin left win $10k. Hayden hides his in a cereal box, Enzo behind a wall decoration, Lane under the recycle bin, and Britney in a cereal box in the trash. The trash is the first place to look and once Hayden is unsuccessful, he just dumps the trash into the backyard dumpster. Search, search, search, time filler, etc. Britney's coin is the last one standing, so she can get evicted this week with $10k at least.

The house is still boring: they get a tiny table, have a pillow fight, and ponder if Britney is still engaged. HOH Hayden isn't resting on his laurels; he uses this week to secure final 2 deals depending on who wins the final competition next week. Lane's closeness to Britney still bugs the Brigade, so Lane, the diary room gesticulator and king of one-liners, is placed on the block. But all that matters this week is POV: the person with the POV has all the power.

Wednesday's episode a "live" eviction, so we get a Wednesday appearance by the Chenbot. The Power of Veto competition is to answer questions by finding the creepy glamour shot poster of evicted HGs. Enzo and Lane are worthless in trivia, so Hayden has to step it up to keep nominations the same and get the Brigade to final 3. I guess the guys were too busy planning their post-Big Brother fame to study (which, BTW, is delusions of grandeur). Hayden wins, sealing Britney's fate in the game. But she doesn't know that until...

The Brigade comes clean. Enzo, being the dick he is, beats around the bush asking if Britney thought there were any alliances, etc. Long story short, Enzo and Lane explain the Brigade and how they've been aligned since day 2. Enzo says they all took side alliances to guarantee their safety, which you see crushes Britney who now believe Lane has used her the past 9 weeks. Enzo keeps talking about how awesome they were and what a success, but it's not really a complete success if your 4 man alliance is now 3 and you turned on that person. Anyways, Hayden finally gets up to the HOH room and is surprised about the big reveal without him. He tells Britney he's glad she won the $10k in the luxury competition and then it sets in for Britney: Hayden isn't taking her to final 3 as promised. She's crushed, rightfully so, because she's played so hard for nothing. Lane tries to smooth things over, but Britney climbs into her bed and cries.

At eviction, Britney seems to have gotten to a happier place and says if she's not in the Brigade she's an honorary member or at least a casualty. Enzo casts his sole vote to evict Britney and she heads out the doors to talk to Julie. At least Britney was able to learn in the goodbye messages that Lane wasn't playng her and truly wanted to take her to the final 2. The night ends with part 1 of the 3 part HOH competition, and it's actually a cool competition. It's the usual hang on a rope and get bumped into the wall, but this time there's a zipline added in to slam them into one wall, then another.

Enzo falls off the rope 19 minutes in the competition. I think Enzo is actually competiting for the title of Biggest Loser. Lane and Hayden battle it out for 2 1/2 hours and Lane takes a bump into the wall that knocks him off. Hayden wins part 1 and will advance to the 3rd and final HOH competition. Time filler includes Enzo's family talking about how great he is, even if he's the worst challenge competitor ever. The 2nd HOH competition is Frankenstein faces, which are far creepier than the glamour shots, where 2 HGs faces are blended together; identify the HGs in 2 minutes. If there's a tie, whoever is fastest wins. They try to keep up the suspense but since we saw the clock we know Lane wins and is heading into the final HOH competition against Hayden.

Also, Ragan enters the jury house and gets the big reveal from Matt about his wife. Ragan is crushed that Matt lied about something so huge. That drama doesn't last long since Rachel comes out and instigates a fight about being a bad communicator or something. She really doesn't listen (as she accuses Ragan of not listening) and it's so dumb. Go away forever Rachel.

Reality Rundown: Wok It Out

9/10/2010 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Top Chef DCProject Runway

Top Chef DC - The final 4 meet up at a market in Singapore and are quickly greeted by Tom Colicchio and the King of Singapore Street Food. He takes them on a tour of the vendors, tasting, learning, and seeing the food culture up close. Angelo seems like a ringer since they're in Singapore and he cooks Asian food, but Kelly thinks Kevin (Who? The Top Chef equivalent of Ann aka Bland, Egg, Annhog) is. The 4 arrive at their last stall of the night and see Padma: Quickfire! The cheftestants will have to create their own version of street food using only a wok to cook. The big catch is that the winner of this Quickfire gets immunity or, really, a guaranteed spot in the finals. Padma gets very upset that Kevin's never used a wok and didn't practice at home. Ed, who "woks it out" on weekends, wins the Quickfire and the immunity with his stir0fry noodles with lobster and Gai Lan (isn't that a Street Fighter character?).

Elimination challenge: in teams (teams- in the final 4??) they will create an event hosted by Food & Wine magazine's editor that celebrates the multicultural cuisine of Singapore. The party guests will order based on the menu and it will be like a normal restaurant service. Ed gets ballsy and makes 2 dishes since he has immunity. Tom visits the chefs in the kitchen who is pretty shocked that they plan to cater an event with only 4 dishes ("Well I'm making two" Ed pipes in), so everyone has to double-time and make another dish. The other chefs resent Ed having actual motivation.

The judges, which also includes Food & Wine lady, Street Food King, and my girl Gail Simmons, take their seats, scan the menus, and the orders start pouring in. The hard part is the waitstaff has bad handwriting and it's hard to communicate- hijinks! The tasting goes really well and I don't recall any negative comments. Angelo's lamb tartar is smooth, and his prawn dish borders more on sauce than soup, and it's a bit intense. Kelly's cool cucumber and yogurt soup is a crowd pleaser and her curried prawn could use a little more heat. Street Vendor King loved her apple guava salad. Ed had immunity, but put out 2 awesome dishes ("holy Asian extravanga")- the sausage is great, but the banana chili fritter blew their minds. Tom calls it "the perfect stoner food." Kevin made a classier clam chowder and his 2nd dish was a tapioca and egg porridge and the 63 degree egg was perfectly cooked. Ed is 2-2 as the winner of the challenge which is a pretty good pre-final challenge high to have. Kelly is told to pack her knives and go, which shocks me. First Tiffany, now Kelly? No love for the independent women.

Project Runway - Heidi sends the designers to the marina where I hope several get cement shoes. Nope, they are greeting by Michael Kors (sans a sailor's cap) and issued their latest challenge: create resort wear looks that are "super fashionable." They get to ride on a boat to sketch, drink mimosas, and wear Michael Kors sunglasses. The designers stock up on fabric at Mood and head to the workroom for a velvet bagged twist: pairs challenge! You see, they are the designer of their own look but their partner must execute it. Whoever gets Michael C is fuuuuuudged (that honor is bestowed upon Mondo).

Michael Kors make a rate appearance in the workroom and does the consultations along with Tim. His critiques are so good- he should visit the workroom more often. I love when Michael tells Valerie she picks ugly colors, which now explains why she's always a bridesmaid never a bride in terms of winning challenges. Ivy and Michael Drummond are struggling because he can't sew what she wants.

It's like Project Runway is begging me to like it again because the guest judge is KRISTEN BELL aka Veronica Mars (who tweeted me!!) I have died and gone to 09er heaven. In keeping with positivity, let's discuss the top 3. April makes this sexy dark intricate top with a sheer cover to it; it's hard to explain but well constructed by her partner Christopher. Andy makes a silver and violet super sexy bathing suit with a cover-up wrap; love it! I mean, I'd never wear it myself but god is it hot. Michael D's look is a black linen with a sparkly black bikini top popping out. I'm not a fan of it, but whatever. Ivy kind of throws Michael under the bus for not having the same technical skills as her, but she needs to STFU (as usual). April is named the winner of the challenge.

Mondo, Casanova, Ivy are the bottom 3. Mondo's look is OTT- it's neon colors, a little too young, and cheap looking. Michael C, the season villain, actually gives Mondo wonderful praise for being a great partner; could a friendship be blooming? Ivy's look is flat out dull. She compromised her design too much to accommodate Michael D's skills (which she points out again) and it is just plain boring. It's a white flowy skirt and a seaform green tank. No design, nothing. Boring. The skirt is so Duggar. Casanova's outfit is a white top with a beige pant; it's older lady looking. He designed with his grandmother in mind, and it's definitely for a 70 year old. The lace bandeau around the belly? Weird. Nina calls it "mousy"- such a perfect word. Ivy is in, Casanova is out about 6 weeks after he should've been.

Photo Credits:,