January 7, 2011

Reality Rundown: You Dim Sum, You Lose Some

1/07/2011 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
New! The Biggest LoserTop Chef All-Stars

New! The Biggest Loser - After three, yes a mere three, weeks without The Biggest Loser, the world took pity on us and brought it back. I will warn you now, this show is on its last leg for me; a "last chance viewing" to take a page from this show's book. As soon as I tire of it, I'm officially done. So many other awesome shows that I could watch instead of being drained by this. But maybe, just maybe, the new trainers will bring this show back to life.

Contestants include the heaviest contestant ever (5'8" and 507lbs- he's as round as he is high!), a girl whose family owns a Dairy Queen and a gym AND she already lost 100lbs on her own, an opera singer, fat twin cops (one of which has a son that disowned him for being fat, the other's son died of an overdose), another Tongan (I think they recruit door-to-door in Tongan neighborhoods), and an ex-Olympian. It's also families again, so expect some tears and for the trainers to blame the moms and dads a lot. They arrive in pairs like Noah's Arc and are shortly greeted by Bob and Jillian and the big ass scale built for two. Everyone weighs in, cries at being so fat, and sheds approximately 2lbs of water weight.

After weigh-ins, Alison drops the bomb that there's no work-out right now, it's time for a challenge (or as I call it, fast forward time!) The challenge will determine who their trainer will be, which seems easy cause Bob, Jillian, who gives a shit. No, they will have to choose either Bob and Jillian or the mystery trainers in front of spotlight #1. 5 teams train with the newbies and 6 with Bob/Jillian, which seems like a duh pick B/J, there's even more twists. If they select the unknown trainers, they train at a secret location and get 4 weeks immunity. The challenge will have the teams running 5k on treadmills and the first 5 teams are guaranteed a choice at picking their trainers. The top 5 are: Yellow (Unknowns), Gray (Unknowns), Aqua (Bob/Jillian), Green (Bob/Jillian), and Brown (Unknowns). Then the rest get to decide, in order: Purple (Bob/Jillian), Pink (Unknowns), Red (Unknowns). The remaining teams (Orange, Blue, Black) automatically puts them with Bob and Jillian and some are bummed, so are OK. Others are so shocked that the Unknowns are getting picked because god forbid people want immunity and would try something new. If the show hired them, I'm sure they're credible trainers and quite frankly, some teams have to train with them.

The next day, Bob/Jillian wonder where all the teams are and learn about the twist. Bob and Jillian, who always hate the game-side, even know choosing them is a stupid decision and the guilt is on them now. Bob/Jillian see what's on the line this time around and train the losers til they moan, drop and shake the earth. Jillian even pulls up with a pickup truck and they have the losers push the truck around campus. I do love when Bob and Jillian are BFFs and not competitors. Meanwhile, the Unknowns are training their losers at a Biggest Loser Fitness lodge in Malibu. The trainers are still not revealed completely, merely silhouettes and from-behind shots doing work-out montages. The dude's studied science or something and the chick's a boxer.

Bob/Jillian's losers arrive at the gym for weigh-in and learn the results of the Unknowns, who still weigh-in, but don't get eliminated. Yellow team (Olympian) lost 59lbs, while Moses of the Gray team lost 41lbs himself. Dayum! The intimidation sets in, but it's onto the scale they go. The fattest dude on campus, who had an emotional pow-wow with Bob, loses 31lbs but his dad only loses 7. This doesn't look good for the obvious biggest threat around in terms of poundage to lose. The mother/daughter orange team loses 22lbs together and fall below the yellow line and one of them will be eliminated. Citing Ana's insistence to keep her daughter Irene in the game, Ana is voted out.

Top Chef All-Stars - Episode 100! (Thanks for the reminder @littleallygator) Padma rocks a prison striped top for the Quickfire which is a speed test against one of the nation's best chefs: mother effin' Tom Colicchio! Tom will prep and cook a dish; whatever time he finishes in defines the time the cheftestants have. Tom's time: 8:37. Dayum! That's how long it takes me to chop up broccoli into florets. The cheftestants go nuts in their 8:37 and many have little to show, and by that I mean Dale who puts two egg noodles on a plate attempting pad thai. Worst: Dale's noodle-making failure, Jamie's unopened clams, and Angelo who did a raw dish which was against the rules. Best: Mike Isabella had flavorful fish, Marcel's dashi, and Richard's fois gras. The winner is Mike Isabella who can take his terribly unfunny self to the next round with immunity and then drive around like a douche in his new Prius.

Elimination Challenge: take over a dim sum restaurants in Chinatown and as a team, work continuously to keep the dim sum carts full. In the greatest moment we've all been waiting for, Jamie asks if she can make SCALLOPS!!! TOP SCALLOP!!!! As the chefs plan the menu, there's some worry that the 2 people forced to be servers will get screwed over; Casey and Carla agree to run the carts. Everyone has to do at least one dish, so a few people take on 2, which surprisingly Jamie does and she's been weak this season. And she effs up scallops a lot. Antonia offers to team with Jamie on the veggie 2nd dish. Dale is feeling the pressure most since he works in dim sum and is Asian (I'm not racist, he said that). Also, in the process of grocery shopping, we learn Fabio has a pet turtle and thinks selling turtles for soup at the store is creepy. Agreed!

In the kitchen, the show continues to gross me out by showing Casey trimming off the nails of her chicken feet. She also has art about butchering? I don't know, weird random trivia. Fabio's short ribs look amazing; I am so hungry. Casey and Carla head out as floor runners while Mike Isabella works as the expediter of the food. Time for serving! The judges might be eating, but the diners aren't. The food isn't ready in time, leaving diners hungry and making us listen to Mike Isabella nonstop yell, "C'mon guys, gimme some food!" When the diners do get to eat, they don't like the food and it gets called "Caucasian dim sum." Sounds about right! The service sucks so bad that Tom gets up from the table, barges into the kitchen and berates the cheftestants. It's sooo hot. In cooking/kitchen news, Jamie and Antonia bicker about their long bean co-dish; Jamie thinks it's fine, Antonia believes it's under-seasoned. I believe it's foreshadowing. Casey, who tasked Antonia to plate her dish since Casey was serving, is upset at how her dish is coming out. Padma points out that eventhough the diners are starving they won't eat the shitty chicken foot.

Casey, Antonia, Carla, Jamie and Tre are called to the Judges' Table; they are deemed the bottom 5, slowest, and worst dishes. Jamie's scallop dumplings were dry, and she self-admittedly didn't like it. The shared long bean dish was considered bad Chinese take-out, but the cooking (Jamie's part) was the worst. Antonia's shrimp toast was delicious, but failed elsewhere in the kitchen. Casey's chicken feet was a play on the classic Asian dish, chicken and waffles. Because Antonia prepped it, she gets a little more of the criticism too. Tre's dessert melted from the heat of the kitchen. Carla's spring rolls had bland noodles and not tasty. When told she cooked with her eyes, not stomach, she lets out an "Ow!" Then Tiffany D, Dale, Angelo, and Fabio are called into panel as the top dishes. Italian Fabio shocks with his Chinese skills, Dale's sticky rice and banana leaf was fresh, Angelo's spring rolls had "textural integrity," and I don't know what Tiffany made but it had "marshmallowy goodness." Dale wins the challenge. After deliberation, Casey is told to pack her knives and go. The strong lady contenders be tankin'!

Photo Credits: BravoTV.com, NBC.com, PopTower