September 6, 2011

Bachelor Pad 2: The Flying Squirrel Does Not Want to Bang You

9/06/2011 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Bachelor Pad - Week 5

The game this week switches from singles to partners. Everyone must pick a partner and going forward they will compete, win/lose, and be eliminated as couples. Bad news if you haven't been banging around but this house is full of couples already. Blake wants to partner with Holly, but she already promised Michael. Since the house is already 100% paired up, Erica and Blake are now partners. Erica thinks she's a total upgrade from Holly because she is prettier and smarter. I don't know, you're both pretty busted.

Chris Harrison's warning to get to know your partner makes sense when they arrive at their challenge: the Nearlywed Game. It's just like the old gameshow: answer questions about yourself or partner and match answers. The winners get immunity roses and a romantic date and the second place finishers get a date too. Things we learned: Erica's kind of a slut, Blake would like to be a flying squirrel, Blake wants to kiss Holly (cue awkward Michael look), Holly would bang Blake (and Michael gets it wrong and chooses himself), and all the guys hate Blake. Kasey and Vienna, who have dated for awhile now, know nothing about each other. It's just like the Full House where Jesse, Rebecca, DJ, and Steve are all terrible on the dating show pilot Joey hosts and Danny wins a date with a random stranger (Estelle!) because stupid Vicky was too busy hosting the news and shit. Good times! Something seems off with Graham and Michelle who have a lead and then keep picking 7 or Michael for all their answers. Turns out they had a number strategy for all types of questions and easily win they date and roses. Blake and Erica come in second place so while no immunity, they'll get a hot date. Oh awkward times coming up!

Graham and Michelle don't even get a date card riddle and are straight-up told they're getting a private screening of the movie What's Your Number? Sounds like ehh ok, except a HELICOPTER PICKS THEM UP AT THE HOUSE!! H.R.E.A.M!! Goddamn, they make an attractive couple. They arrive in downtown LA for a private rooftop pool party (!!) and then watch the movie preview from in the pool. They pay attention most of the time until they start making out and straddling in the pool.

Vienna and Kasey are having some issues. Vienna wishes they had alone time dates since Kasey has been on two dates. Vienna doesn't want to have sex with Kasey in a house full of cameras, so Kasey snatched away that promise ring. Kasey is a little annoyed Vienna mentioned having sex and now doesn't want to, and then brings up the other dudes she's banged. Then it turns into a come downstairs and cuddle ultimatum. Who knows- they are nucking futs.

Blake and Erica are the obvious choice to go home this week since everyone hates them. Michael really doesn't like Blake, for good reasons, Erica turns into the voice of reason pointing out that it takes two to tango and that maybe Michael needs to give Holly some of the blame too. Erica also warns Blake that his actions in the house are affecting both of their games. Erica has a plan though: seduce Blake away from Holly. Michael's plan: tell Holly he'll wait around for her during another mopefest. Holly is really torn between two men and worried Blake will go to the bone zone with Erica just cause he's a guy.

Erica, rocking a tiara, and Blake get into the limo for their date. As soon as they leave, the house shits all over Blake and dubs him shady and untrustworthy; Holly doesn't agree. Blake and Erica are taken to the Mission Inn hotel, which is a gorgeous example of Spanish architecture, and explore the catacombs of the hotel. As we all do on dates. After Erica regales Blake with stories of how she can feel and speak to dead spirits, they share champagne and Erica get all handsy. Blake is not DTF (well, not with Erica) and just wants to stay strategic. After touring more of the hotel, they find a romantic dinner and two roses on the table and get so excited. Not so fast suckers: you have to give these roses to another couple to save THEM from elimination. HAHAHA.

While there is some gametalk of the power they might have, Erica just wants to bang around with a really uncomfortable Blake. Blake does not want to spend the night away from the house, thinking it'll make him look like a skeezy target. Erica disagrees, thinking they'll think he's returning to be with Holly. Erica wants to spend the night together to bond and Blake's still like hell no and holds back laughing in her face. Erica gives a sex ultimatum, almost begging for it, and he is not interested, especially since he doesn't want to be a playa. Erica gets he's trying to save his reputation by hooking up with the crazy girl and girl with a boyfriend and at least she hooked up with a guy who was The Bachelor. Honestly, this is maybe the creepiest date I have ever seen on reality TV.

With their creepy date over, Blake and Erica have to make the decision of which couple to grant immunity. They tell Kirk and Ella about the roses and they hope they could use the rose since they're low on the couples totem pole too. Blake and Erica then tell Kasey and Vienna about these roses so of course promise them safety in exchange for the rose. Blake and Erica gives the roses to Kasey and Vienna, because they are dumb. Guess they forgot about all the other people Kasey gave his word to. Ella cries, Kasey and Vienna gloat.

So will it be Blake/Erica or Kirk/Ella going home this week? Blake is confident he's safe since Kasey gave his "word." Vienna says everyone has sob stories so they can't keep Ella just because of that. Blake and Holly make out on the couch and Michael sees this, though I don't see how since Holly's fug dress camouflaged with the seat cushions. Michael heads over to Graham and Michelle to express that he needs to vote off Blake. After discussions, Graham tells Blake straight-up that he'll be eliminating him and Blake is pissed Kasey didn't make an effort to save him. Holly ends up being the deciding vote of keeping or sending Blake home and ends up sending Blake and Holly home.