September 13, 2011

Bachelor Pad 2: My Perfect Rose Record is Ruined!

9/13/2011 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Bachelor Pad - Finale

The final 4 teams arrive in Las Vegas for their final competition at Cirque du Soleil's Ka. Each pair will be suspended 100ft in the air and perform a routine on that big ass Ka wall. The winning couple has a daunting task: pick the other couple to compete against in the finale. The couple who the judges deem crappiest of the four will eliminated. The routine is pretty crazy, running, dropping, rapelling, twirling. The judges are, like they always are, the only successful relationships the show has: Trista, Jason "pulling a Mesnick," and Ali. Vienna and Kasey are surprisingly good and fly super fast. Michelle and Graham kiss for bonus points, while Ella and Kirk suck. Michael dominates another challenge, but I'd kind of expect a dance instructor to excel in a wall dancing challenge; Michael and Holly win. Ella and Kirk are dubbed worst and leave Vegas unlucky. Don't worry Ella, at least you'll get some free plastic surgery to get a new face out of this.

Michael and Holly hear Kasey's plea of why him and Vienna should join them in the finale. His argument is that they are the two teams who fought the hardest while Graham and Michelle floated along. After talking Michael's ear off, Vienna tells Kasey to learn when the STFU. Kasey mopes with his beer against the wall, forcing Vienna to come outside and make peace. When Michael/Holly talk to Graham/Michelle, they express concerns that they might lose to Graham/Michelle in the end. Graham is offended because he doesn't see is as a money thing and just buds, and him and Michael have been friends for a long time. Graham's tantrum is all for nothing: Michael and Holly pick Graham and Michelle to join them in the finals, well in the most awkwardly spoken speech ever recited by Holly. Did Holly invite them to the finals or is she reading at Sunday mass? Kasey and Vienna are pissed, though Vienna's reasoning for having a perfect rose record is maybe the best thing ever spoken.

The finals serves as a reunion where we get to see all the losers vote for which couple deserves the prize money. Worst news ever for people who live under a rock: Ames and Jackie, who had a romantic departure together, aren't together anymore and there's no good reason why Ames dumped her. Housewives across America weep. The group doesn't care for Kasey and Vienna's stab-you-in-the-back gameplay. Jake and Vienna's drama is a hot topic where she claims they were amends and she wasn't that mean (she was).

Hot seat time! Jake gets called to the hot seat to discuss the drama even more. Jake doesn't like being labeled a horrible person, which is funny since it looks like the audience is still enamored with Jake and disgusted by Vienna. Jake claims he tried to make amends over the past year but she denies that. Jake is sooo upset Kasey wants to punch him for America, saying does he think that's what we want to hear. Uhhhh yeah. Kasey apologies for being a fool and talking a lot of smack. Besties! Speaking of Kasey, when he's in the hot seat he addresses the giant elephant with a Kermit the Frog voice in the room: he has a speech impediment. Kasey is ashamed of the douchebag he portrayed himself as, realizing he was being a turd when this was just a game. Then we hear about Kasey and Vienna's constant arguing and bickering- I fast forwarded because this is a 3 hour finale.

And then there's Blake, a lesson for us all to not just hit it and quit it. He doesn't apologize to Melissa for being terrible, but admits he shouldn't have led her on. Turns out Blake said he didn't want to kiss on camera, so when he did kiss Melissa on-camera, she felt like the walls were down. Melissa says her crazy came out not because she was jealous but because he chose to have a date with someone that wasn't his game partner. That date was Blake's first date with Holly, who he is madly in love with. They've been seeing each other since Bachelor Pad ended and Holly is moving to South Carolina with him. But there's more. A camera crew follows Michael and Holly on a totally spontaneous mountain-top picnic to the top of a mountain and, with a Neil Lane product placement freebie ring in hand, proposes to Holly. Holly accepts and if you turn up your speakers really high, you can hear Michael's heart snap in half backstage.

Chris Harrison brings the final 4 on stage and drops the bomb the Holly and Blake got engaged, leaving Michael dumbfounded. Michael wishes that maybe they told him before they went to a filmed television reunion show. He says he's OK and just wants Holly to be happy, even if he had to get kicked in the face on reality TV for that happiness. Graham and Michelle are still very close, especially since Graham was with her as her father passed away. They have a deep bond and I'd be happy if these two worked out.

The roseless get to ask questions or make final statements to the four. Michelle requests that no one give her pity votes because of her personal life and instead asks them to consider the social game they played: avoiding drama. Blake wants to know if Graham/Michelle hiding from drama is deserving of the money and Graham's like "I don't want your vote." HAHA love him. This leads right into the vote: Holly and Michael win with an 8-4 vote and head into the next round. In the next round, Michael and Holly are sequestered and have to choose to keep the money for themselves or share it with their partner. If both choose keep, neither of them get the money and the jilted split the loot. The show does the same psych-out as last year and has both act like they chose keep. Nope, Michael and Holly both choose share and leave with $125,000 each (and in Holly's case, an engagement ring probably worth a hefty amount).

Also, Ashley's jilted runner-up Ben in the new Bachelor. In case again you don't read the internet, news, Twitter, anything.