October 16, 2011

Reality Rundown: Pigging Out

The Amazing RaceThe Biggest Loser
Survivor: South Pacific

The Amazing Race - The leg stays in Indonesia and starts with a colonial bike ride which means really slow but rocking a sweet khaki uniform. The most dramatic moment in an otherwise dull task is that Ernie's pedal breaks off his bike, making way for all the teams to pass them. Da-raaa-ma!

After the bike ride, they take a cab to a roadside restaurant to pick up their Detour clue. Teams have the choice of delivering a meal to works in a rice field and then planting rice seeds or fill feed bags and a water troth for goats. For an "amazing" race this is a lame detour. The "scandal" with the goats is that the father/son team use three buckets instead of two. Da-raaa-ma! The grass in the rice fields is high and the ground uneven so it's falling galore. Moreso with the old people and I'm having "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial flashbacks.

After falling around rice fields and feeding goats, they head to a temple for their next clue. The clue, at the top of a very long staircase, is a Road Block to count all the Buddhas at the temple, but the key is there are four hand gestures so they have to split it into four. The only good part is that the snowboarders tell Amani and Marcus all the answers to the task but they completely forget the answers after the stairs. A lot of the teams end up working together to get the counting done faster. Father/son Lawrence and Zack are team #1 but because they used too many buckets they get a fifteen minute penalty. That fifteen minute penalty allows snowboarders Andy and Tommy to get first place again and win a trip to Dubai. Eliminated from the race this week are the former showgirls Kaylani and Lisa. Hey, they almost didn't make it out of the United States so I'll call this a win.

The Biggest Loser - Wait, this show has opening credits again but removed my beloved "What have you done today to make you feel proud?" Speaking of returns, to motivate the losers, former contestants from past seasons come to the ranch to tell their story, exercise, motivate, and drop off some product placement knowledge. Thanks for promoting Jenni-O turkey, Hannah!! Hope you like the mega-size picture of you hanging in the gym.

The losers later meet Samantha Gene Brady for their challenge: a line relay that traverses through a ton of shitty weather elements. Even snow... in California (but it's only like 15 or 20 feet long). They have to pass a box along too and inside the box are letters from home. It's pretty much the least surprising reward since five minutes before the black team discussed missing their families, particularly the kids. The red team and black team are the ones competing because who the hell knows where the elderly team is. Black team wins the challenge again (with red team only seconds behind them). Turns out everyone gets to read their letters from home since they all finished the challenge. I thought for a second winning was pointless but the black team also gets video phone chats home.

Work-out stuff. Anna still sucks as a trainer and the show builds her a special tennis court for training. Seems like a waste since she'll have no job in three weeks when her team is wiped out. Dolvett's project of the week is to give Courtney self-esteem because she hates herself. Bob strips down (oww oww) for a last chance workout with his team in the pool since Jennifer has a dud knee. Joe doesn't swim due to a fear of water and drowning so Bob trains Joe to not fear the water.

Weigh-in. The blue team, down to three members, drop 1.93% thanks to old lady Bonnie having a 7lb loss. The black team loses 2.12% as a team, but John's pissy at his impressive 9lbs which is insane. The red team weigh-in starts pretty rocky after the girls lose only 5lbs together. The men make up the deficit, with Ramon putting up the 11lbs needed to keep red safe. So Anna's blue team loses (again) and Bonnie's sole vote eliminates blue's only remaining male loser, Mike. Good luck ladies because you will reeeeeeally need it (or a twist).

Survivor: South Pacific - Stacey heads to Redemption Island pissed off and reconnects with her former tribemate and friend Christine. Because no one seems to realize you might re-enter the game and are just burning bridges, Stacey plans to expose Coach's crappy game to the other tribe come challenge time. Stacey and Christine explain that Benjamin (not Coach) is running everything along with Albert (present at the Redemption challenge). The challenge is to put balls through a track which they have to catch and keep putting back in. It's a hard focusing challenge and it's Christine and her quick reflexes that win her another Redemption Island challenge. I am sad to see Stacey go because I love the way she said "Benjamin."

Mikayla and Albert report back to Upolu about Stacey spilling the beans about their tribe and calling Coach "Benjamin." Coach gets pissed at the dare though someone call him "Benjamin" because even his parents call him Coach. Considering the Reality Blurred interviews, I'm calling bullshit. Albert, with his newfound screentime, acknowledges the new target status he has and starts immunity idol clue hunting. Albert can't find it himself so brings Coach and Sophie into the fold to build trust and hopefully get the idol found. Coach prances around in the trees and finds the idol.

Cochran is getting irritated by Ozzy and Elyse's laziness, but his irritation is short-lived when Dawn reports all the Redemption Island drama back to the tribe. Ozzy makes a comment that Coach should vote off Albert, which Jim wisely interprets to mean Ozzy might want to vote off one of his own strong guys pre-merge too. Cochran is onto Ozzy's gameplay of feed the tribe and do nothing but demand reverance. God I hope Cochran makes a big move this episode.

Immunity challenge and it's a gross one. Each tribe gets a pig roast on a spit and needs to chew off as much meat as possible and spit it into a basket; most meat collected wins immunity and reward (fruit, veggies, bread, spices). Well this is going to ruin bobbing for apples this Halloween. Won't lie, I should be repulsed yet am really just craving BBQ now. It's also fun watching the other survivors pulling pig fat from each other's mouths. Hope that fruit basket has some floss. Savaii spits up 22lbs 12oz, but Upolu chews up and spits out 22lbs 14oz and wins. Beat the meat! Oh goodie- they get to keep all the nasty spit meat too. Bon appetite?

Savaii laments the loss and the shits they'll get from the pork though Cochran figures they'll get oral herpes (or just cold sores). Cochran immediately starts cracking coconuts and doing work to prove his worth. Ozzy and his minions want Cochran gone, but Dawn has second thoughts. Dawn, Cochran, and Jim would like to get Elyse out (god forbid they get Ozzy out pre-merge). The problem is they need one more vote so Jim tries to pull Keith to their side and Keith is skeptical to vote off Elyse because then Ozzy won't trust them. Keith and Whitney chat in the water and what a shock, she's maybe not into it either, though there is one mention that her and Keith just vote for another random person. Then she pees in the sand. Not kidding.

Tribal council time. Ozzy wants to keep the tribe strong overall- challenges, camp, socially. Cochran does worry about his safety and says that different challenges require different strengths and everyone did well today. Ozzy claims to have a dislocated jaw, the others have cuts in their mouths, and Cochran worries his teeth shifted due to lack of retainer-wearing. Keith hates Cochran's attempt at humor so of course we know the way the vote is going now- OR DO WE? It appears Keith and Whitney make a ballsy move and cast their votes for Dawn, allowing Cochran/Jim/Dawn's votes for Elyse to make her the next eliminated tribemate. AWESOME.

0 comments: