January 25, 2012

The Bachelor: Go Fish

1/25/2012 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
The Bachelor - Week 4

Ben and the women head to Park City, Utah which seems like the ideal place for polygamous dating to take place. There are two one-on-one dates and one group date. Booo I want a Thunderdome date, for real.

Ben brings Rachel on the first solo date to "let nature take its course." If it's survival of the fittest, Kacie B won't make it cause she's that whiny girl who had the first date and now is desperate for another date. But it's time for Kacie to STFU because... HELICOPTER DATE!!! About GD time. The helicopter lands in the mountains for Ben and Rachel to go on a canoe ride and enjoy a picnic. By enjoy I mean force conversation and sip champagne. Shouldn't the booze make you chatty? Hours later they have another romantic meal in some pelt-covered hut and their banter is awkward and not flowy. Once Rachel opens up about not opening up it's enough for Ben to give her a rose. That and because she's attractive. Ben is transparent. They make "sch'mores" (really Ben?) and kiss.

The group date brings to the wilderness to ride some horses and go fishing. Considering the constant state of drunkenness of these women and their general stupidity, shouldn't these hoes be wearing helmets? The horse ride ends for a wardrobe change to go fly fishing to catch their lunch. Hope someone fishes out a bottle of champagne. The editors must want me to hate Kacie because they devote so much airtime to Kacie's constant pleas for validation. Courtney doesn't care for group dates and makes it her mission to take Ben alone and make it a solo date. Ben doesn't care because he's obsessed with Courtney and their shared love of mustard. Outdoorsy Lindzi tries to weasel her way in but no luck: Courtney catches a fish and makes herself even more almighty in Ben's mind.

The group migrates to a hotel for dranks and there is a pool but it's not on a rooftop. Nicky, who has only been on group dates, is soooo feeling Ben and wants more alone-time, and wisely uses it to talk about her dead boss and seizing the moment. Turns out Ben has a dead-friend story to share too. Then, Samantha interrupts with the no-date scenario and just asks for a solo date to get some time with him to make an impression. Ben appreciates the honesty but thinks group dates are good to observe others and notes she's highly emotional and maybe not even here for him. Burn! Even better, he tells her right away that he doesn't seem them lasting much longer and ends it ON THE DATE. SERVED!!! Ben has to explain to the girls what happened and reiterates he is taking this very seriously and they should be too. Kacie eventually gets her reassurance alone time so maybe she'll shut her fucking mouth now. Courtney whines about having to share a date with others and claims it's hurt her opinion of their relationship. Get this: Ben runs off to get the rose and give it to Courtney as an apology and reassurance. Then she uses Charlie Sheen catchphrases and ugh, die bitch.

Best-kisser Jennifer gets the other solo date to "pick our love song." Another private concert? Ughhhh. But first, Ben and Jennifer climb over a fence with a No Trespassing sign and encounter a bigass crater in the ground. They get harnessed up, lower themselves into the crater and then drop into the water. Belly/butt flop! They spend the evening eating a romantic outdoor dinner that gets thwarted by the rain. Ben wasn't really sure if they had a romantic vibe but the date helped so Jennifer gets a rose. They makeout on a ski lift ride and come upon a Clay Walker concert with a fake crowd of townies and Ben/Jennifer standing high above them in the crowd.

The cocktail party begins to bring out the cattiness as the process goes on. The elephant in the room: Ben doesn't seem to notice Courtney is an asshole. Emily seems most bothered by Courtney, comparing her to a beautiful, cold, hard marble sculpture. Emily decides she has to be the person to point out Courtney is a different person around the girls. Ben asks Emily to not read into things and tells her it will only lead to her own demise. Someone has watched many an-episode! Except if Ben watched the show he'd know that when the girl is an asshole, your relationship won't work. Some other Casey I have never seen before relays to Courtney what Emily told Ben; Courtney half brushes it off, half curses Emily out in front of the group. Emily begins to realize maaaaybe she made a mistake using her alone time to talk smack and the verbal smackdown she got doesn't help. Lucky for Emily, Ben lets her buttinski nature slide this week and it's Monica who is eliminated.

Next week: Courtney continues to be a megabitch in Puerto Rico.