February 19, 2012

Reality Rundown: Ghostride the Copter

The Biggest LoserNew! Survivor: One WorldTop Chef: Texas

The Biggest Loser - The losers and trainers meet Alison in the backyard around the pool with two box of chocolates in hand. This week, Bob and Dolvett will pick one person to send home this week but that person's weight will count for the entire team, but their trainer will be with them. So now the joy of home brings pressure. Dolvett picks Conda because he hates himself I guess. Bob picks Daphne, Adrian's sister. What a coincidence that this showdown at the weigh-in will be the two women who began the episode fighting. A coincidence indeed...

Conda and Daphne go home and are greeted with smiles and hugs. Then we get some emotional shit, like maybe why Conda is such a bitch and that Daphne has a heart condition. Plenty of hard workouts are had, like Bob making Daphne do a skyscraper stairs. Dolvett even babysits which is a much more interesting than anything this season.

Back at the ranch, everyone is trying to make-do of a trainer-free week. Chris uses this time to bitch about Bob betraying her and she needed him. I love them bitching about no trainer because in three months when the show ends life has no trainer. Good luck schmucks. The black team exercises but at half-power level. Santa Roy on the red team is walking around campus because he can't keep up with young'ns. The trainers might be gone but that doesn't mean the product placement stops so the nutritionist visits. There is also a challenge to win letters from home and a 1lb advantage by dragging a dummy while digging under logs. The red team wins maybe because some Cassandra on the black team is stuck under a log.

Conda and Daphne return with the trainers in tow for the weigh-in. The red team already has a 1lb advantage for Conda. The teams will weigh-in before Conda and Daphne because the team that loses the most gets a 1lb advantage as well. The black team weighs in and their lackluster effort shows on the scale for many losers. The black team loses a total of 33lbs (2.23%). Roy, who worried about keeping up, drops 9lbs leaving mouths agape. Bitchy Kim drops 9lbs too and this wins Conda the 1lb advantage, meaning Conda has a 2lb advantage against Daphne. So now it's time for the weigh-ins that matter to happen. Daphne gets on the scale first and loses 12lbs (5.08%), getting her a nice applause and maybe a teeny bit of respect. Conda has a 2lb advantage but still looks nervous because she has to lose more than 10lbs. After the scale ticks for what feels like five minutes, Conda drops 10lbs exactly which isn't enough. So the red team has to eliminate someone and since Santa Roy is the only person that got airtime this week, he is eliminated.

New!Survivor: One World - OW-OOOOOO! Welcome to another season of Survivor and it's the most excited I've been in years. No returning players, no Hantzs, no Redemption Island... life is good. If I wasn't already swooning over the season, Jeff comes in via HELICOPTER. H.R.E.A.M. The group is split into two tribes: men vs. women. I officially want to see a battle between one guy named Tarzan and the other named Troyzan. Before they head to camp the survivors get sixty seconds to get as much supplies as possible off the truck. Michael steals a bunch of the women's stuff; they are not happy.

This season, both tribes will live on the same beach but they don't know that yet. I expect shadiness and it will be ah-mah-zing. Both tribes trek through the jungle and immediately a five-girl alliance is one: Kim, Kat, Alicia, Chelsea, and Sabrina. The women and men arrive at the beach and realize that they'll be living on the same beach. It is not smiles abound. They try to work as a big team to catch some chickens, but Chelsea refuses to share the two she caught. Bird-phobic me turns a blind eye.

Colton quickly bonds with the women since he’s the sassy gay guy which is great... except he's on the men's tribe. The young, fit douchebag guys align and build fire. Things get dicey when the women want to barter to get fire, offering a chicken (declined) and then trying to steal fire a few times. A deal is a finally made for fire by Christina; Alicia doesn’t like Christina’s attempts to be in with the men. Sabrina finds a hidden immunity idol in a giant open, obvious tree. HOWEVER, the immunity idol she pulls is for the men's tribe and she has to give this idol to someone on the other tribe before the next Tribal Council.

First immunity challenge time! It's an obstacle course with a net jump, balance beam, and rope ladder. Kourtney, who I have targeted as first out, lands on her wrist while jumping onto the net. Kourtney is all dizzy from her wrist so Jeff stops the challenge and brings in medical. Kourtney needs an X-ray before her fate in the game can be decided so the challenge ends and the men are declared the winners but Jeff gives them the option of continuing the challenge and winning the fair way. They take the easy win, which also gives them a reward of fire. The women are upset the men take the immunity and it's kind of like a duh moment. If the tables were turned, despite their insistence they wouldn't have, they women would've taken immunity right away too. But it does create ill-will that will haunt them, for sure.

Post-challenge, Matt is still a dick. Alicia would like to get rid of Christina if she has the chance. Sabrina gives outside Colton the immunity idol because he is the swing vote on his tribe and Sabrina wants Colton to use this idol to make a power play to take out a strong douche-male. The women then convene how to proceed with tonight's Tribal Council and Kourtney's status. The ideal scenario is that Kourtney doesn't come back and they don't have to vote.

Tribal Council! Before telling the team Kourtney is obviously out, Probst does his stir-the-pot questioning. This unearths that Alicia thought Christina's fire deal was shady. Cat fight! Christina thinks the real deal was done and they have a better firepit than they would have made themselves. Some women are tense, some have the giggles. But of course, the news is Kourtney broke her wrist and is out of the game. No one is getting voted off and they get to keep their fire.

Top Chef: Texas - The final four ditch the shoved-down-our-throats Texas for the far colder Vancouver which I like to call The Couvs. The cheftestants have had time at home to learn from their mistakes and grow. What Sarah and Lindsay haven't learned: how to tolerate Bev.

The final four meet Tom and Padma at the top of a windy, snowy Wisp mountain to kick off the Culinary Games. Get it, like Olympics. Nope, doesn't work. There are three events and a $10,000 prize for each event won and then moves into the final around. Event #1: prepare a meal on a gondola while making a mid-way stop to pick up another ingredient. Sure this is a fun challenge but not for the finals. Let them just cook good food without gimmicks. Lindsay's salmon and quinoa wins, even with a potential not-enough-salmon speedbump.

Bev, Paul and Sarah compete in event #2: chip away at blocks of ice to get ingredients to make a dish. That dish must be made outdoors on a mountain. Is this a fucking Amazing Race Road Block? Ugh, dumb. Again, just let them cook. Paul wins the second spot in the finals and money with his poached King Crab in brown butter with toasted almonds, mango chutney and orange marmalade. Paul's winning is the best because it means Sarah has to go head-to-head against mortal enemy Bev, the winner of Last Chance Kitchen head-to-head battles. Muhahaha.

The final event for Bev and Sarah is to make the best dish they've ever made with no nonsense. Just kidding, it's a culinary biathalon that makes them cross-country ski and shoot to shoot ingredients. There's only 10 shots to hit the targets. There are a lot of falls on the slopes but I'm putting my money on Bev for the athleticism compared to Sarah. Both women end up hitting four targets for their ingredients. Bev makes a slow roasted arctic char with an onion and beef compote. Sarah's dish is braised rabbit paired with sauerkraut puree (bleckh). Sarah's rabbit was a little tough but they love the sauerkraut and the cherries. Bev's dish is praised for being seafood with a lot of earthy flavors, though Tom thinks the char wasn't seasoned enough. Beverly is told to pack her knives and go and Sarah's in the finale. I guess I'm routing for Paul to win?

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