July 8, 2012

Reality Rundown: Hit It, Quit It, Send It to Limbo

7/08/2012 Posted by Mel Got Served , No comments
The Glass House


The Glass House - The house ponders which player will return from Limbo, wondering if the public will vote for a liar (Holly) or a terrible, horrible, stategy (Apollo).  The two ascend back to the house in their bank tubes to face the verdict.  Apollo's tube drops him back down and he's out of the game, though he wasn't really playing the game now was he?

The rest of the house plays a truth game where we learn that Stephanie's husband died and everyone is shocked and saddened.  Robin then has to one-up Stephanie, saying she was almost murdered with a knife to her neck.  She denies it being a "compete story" after Erica accuses her; then Robin confronts Erica for ruining the moment where she was going to praise Stephanie's braveness.  Erica's feeling is that Robin constantly asks questions of other people just to talk about herself.  Hot Cop Kevin, middle-aged Mike, and Robin had formed a "trifecta" to have each other's backs and protect them from Limbo, but now Mike is like shit we aligned with the crazy lady.  The crazy lady who can't sleep and washes the floor BY HAND at 3am.

Now while Robin was the first to openly say something shitty about Stephanie's sob story, she's not alone.  With Kevin and Mike, Mormon Andrea says they should all forget about winning because of Stephanie.  Kevin retorts it's true and the only story that matches Stephanie's is a dead kid.  Andrea wants the best game to win, not the sob story and feels guilty saying it.  What a group of scumbags.

Miscelleanous house stuff.  Joy and Gene flirt a bunch. Mike tells Holly that everyone talked shit about her while she was in Limbo.  Drunk Erica and Kevin slurred speech flirt and later make out sheltered by a bedspread.  Robin writes weird tweets and one-liners on the inside of her pants.  Mormon Andrea kills flies and Ginger Bear Jeffrey says she's a hypocrite since the bible says "Thou shalt not kill."  Jeffrey butts heads with Andrea because of her beliefs against homosexuality and as a gay man it makes sense that he'd probably not love the company of a person who condemns his lifestyle.  Andrea insists she respects Jeffrey as a person, but he also feels her as a majority voting against a minority is not respecting him.  Andrea thinks it's going to be a rough eight weeks and Ashley reminds her Jesus was persecuted too and be strong.  Oh boy, I love reality TV religious discussions.
 
The team captains, aka the players viewers hate most, are Ashley and Robin.  This is Ashley's second week in a row as captain meaning she's a boring player that viewers have no attachment to.  Viewers were given the choice of what players would have to bob for: apples in applesauce, teabags in a bowl full of tea (I wish it was scalding hot), or fried chicken in gravy.  Oh gee, which do you think viewers picked?  The challenge is for the team captain to guess which item the viewers selected by having someone on their team complete the task.  So Erica has to bob for the chicken first and barely puts her face in so BFD.  We also get to see a tuna salad mixed with feet, a hat filled with chew (?), a peanut butter facial with marshmallows, pie to the face, and deflating a bunch of whoopie cushions with bodyparts for fart noise laughter.  It wasn't funny.  Ashley's team is victorious, saving her from Limbo a second week in a row.

In perhaps the worst reward ever on reality television, Tenley and Kiptyn from The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad franchise come up the bank tubes into the house.  I love my guilty pleasure Bachelor but holy shit, what an awful "prize."  The girls are excited ad the guys are like who the fuck are you nobodies.  After giving the advice to "be yourself" (no shit), it turns out these two losers are here as the voice of the Fanswers.  Holly had asked if they viewers want to stay in the house, and the viewers said NO (hilarious moment of burn).  Gene is told to get an alliance and Andrea learns viewers want alliances and gameplay now.  BOR-ING.
 
Robin is automatically in Limbo as the losing team captain and the rest of the house will choose someone from her team to join her in the bank-tubes-to-hell.  Erica is the big target amongst the alliance of five formed by Mike, Kevin, Ashley, Holly, and Andrea.  Jeffrey and Stephanie want to save their friend and instead get Andrea out.  Jeffrey wants to make a big statement of this and say if you're not voting for Andrea, you're not voting for equality.  He wants America to get the message that equality is important and Gene poses the point that it's possible America could vote Andrea back.  Jeffrey acknowledges that and says then it's only his vendetta against 'Murica I guess.  Gene and Joy aren't sure they are ready to make alliances and at this point are the swing votes to make it 5-5 (Robin would then break the tie).  The others are here to play a game and don't think this should be a political thing but rather a television game show.  Erica tries to talk to her makeout partner Kevin to see where he stands and he admits he's voting for Erica and thinks Andrea is getting singled out for not being the house majority in terms of politics and whatnot.  But Kevin thinks no matter what Erica will be coming back.  In a tie vote of 5-5, team captain Robin must decide who to take with her into Limbo.  She chooses Erica and down they go into the glass tubes of abyss.

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