July 3, 2012

The Bachelorette: Hometown Makeout Sessions

The Bachelorette - Week 8 (Hometown Dates!)

It's a big step forward this week as Emily heads to the hometowns of her four suitors to get a whole family's hopes up instead of just some guys.

Emily's first stop is Chicago to meet Chris' family and it's a good thing he's first because he'd probably pout if he wasn't. Chris takes Emily on a tour around Chicago, though he understands maybe it's underwhelming since there aren't a billion castles around. Chris can't wait for Emily to meet his Polish family (he's first generation) and gives her a warm-up by drinking beer at a Polish restaurant. Beer-talk is mainly about Chris' breakdown and constant apologies for being a big baby. Finally they leave the city and meet the family in person and OMGGGGG they love Emily so much. What a surprise! And OMGGGG they love their son too. YA THINK EMILY? Dad is a little skeptical and pulls Emily aside to get to know the woman who will likely break his son's heart. Emily's concern is Chris' ability to become a father for Ricki, but his dad thinks he'll do his best and a good job. Good enough answer! One of Chris' sisters lets Emily know that if she is going to dump Chris, do it sooner rather than later so he's not incredibly crushed. Chris' dad tells Chris that Emily admits she is falling in love with him (she did? I don't remember but this is a great lead-on moment). Before Emily leaves, Chris tells Emily he does love her and it's easy to say this. Then they kiss for the first time. First real kiss and it's hometown dates? That's like Duggar amount of time. You're done, but first: Polish dancing on the back deck!

St. George, Utah is home to Jef and now I see how his hair stays so perfect: no humidity. They hop into a dune buggy to cruise around Jef's ranch and maybe blow Emily's skirt up, Troy from Goonies style. Then they skeet shoot and Jef with a gun is corny and makes me laugh, but Emily thinks it's hot and then makes all her shots too. They mutually swoon over how hot each other looks with a firearm. As for the fam, Emily meets Jef's siblings but no parents as they are doing charity work in South Carolina. Rich people stuff, y'know? Emily fits right in with the clan because they are all really blonde. Standing together they look like a modern Von Trapp family or really like a group of sister wives. Jef previously dumped a girl because his family hated her so Emily is intimidated by the brood. Jef's oldest brother is concerned about this fast process and if they share they same "principles." But of course Emily gives all the right answers and Brother Steve is OK with it all. Emily's talk with the sisters is that she's afraid of being heartbroken and Jef changing his mind about having an immediate family; they think he'll be OK. Emily says she does feel like she's falling for Jef, but she's slow to use the love bomb. And OMGGGGG they all love sweet Emily now. Later, Jef pulls out a note he wrote for Emily (ughhh more GD notes) and it talks about how much he loves her and the way he feels with her. It's definitely better than Ryan's creepo list. Guys, I kinda love Jef now. Maybe Emily will pick him and not the predictable Arie.

In Scottsdale, Arizona, Emily meets Arie at a race car track because the show loves to potentially draw some drama by showing Emily around race cars. But Emily don't curr and is impressed with Arie speeding around the track. It's Emily's first time experiencing Indy cars so Arie speeds around the track with Emily in the backseat. Over an afternoon picnic, Arie lets Emily know his parents are "so European." WTF is that? They eat dinner at 10? Don't shave? Smell bad? Whatever, let's just drink wine (Ben Flahnik brand??) and kiss a bunch. As night comes, Emily and Arie meet his big ol' Dutch family and hopefully get Arie's mom to not hate her. And to make Emily feel really included sometimes the family randomly breaks into Dutch so that she can't understand. Great manners. Arie realizes this is an asshole thing and puts a stop to it. Arie's mom is a viewer and wondered what happened after her wonderful engagement to Brad. Emily explains they were in love but she failed to ask the fundamental, basic questions like "hey wanna be a dad?" or "hey I don't want to move to Texas." Emily asks for pointers on being a racecar wife. SPINOFF! Arie tells his dad he's ready to propose and his dad basically sums her up perfectly: she's pretty, nice and has an accent. Yup, perfect qualities for a wife!

The hometown U.S. tour ends with Sean in Dallas, Texas so maybe we'll get a cameo from former fiance Brad Womack. Emily meets some family right off the bat: Sean's two dogs. Thank god my dog is asleep and not barking at the TV. Sean brings Emily to meet the family and Sean's niece steps up her game to steal hearts by showing Emily her adorable playhouse. Sean hasn't brought a lot of girls around and then Sean says he has something huge to admit. Everyone's nervous. A bomb is dropped: Sean still lives at home. Emily plays it cool but in her one-on-ones Emily's like oh jesus. Also, his room is a hot mess of laundry, stuffed animals, dirty sheets. It's the room of an 18 year old. Emily's mind is blown and Sean knows she's appalled, so he lets her know this was a big joke and doesn't live at home. Phew because I think she would've dumped him for that, which would've been awesome. Sean tells his dad that his journey thus far has been a life changing experience and dad is overjoyed. And guess what? Sean's family loves Emily and she's so amazing and a blessing!! Before Emily leaves, us viewers get another creepy Sean tongue kiss, then Sean chases after her car shouting "Emily!" and gets one last kiss.

With her continental voyage done, Emily meets up with Chris Harrison in Los Angeles for what will be the biggest rose ceremony yet. Emily loves all the families, so she's torn what to do and whose heart to crush with her tiny heels. After her long recap of all the families to Chris, the rose ceremony begins. With her Bump-It in place and in a beautiful royal blue gown with some gleaming crystals, Emily comes to hand out her three roses of guys she'd most like to take to the bone zone in fantasy suites. Emily gives her roses to Arie, Jef and Sean. It's Chris with his teal tie and pocket square that are sent home and for real, is he dressing for prom tonight? He gets one last convo with Emily and he's shocked. Emily doesn't have an explanation except that other relationships have grown faster and deeper. "How much faster could it move? I told you I LOVED YOU." Good point but you did just kiss her for the first time after a month.

Next week: a lot of slo-mo makeout sessions in the crystal blue waters of Curacao.