August 23, 2012

Big Brother 14: Boogie On Down and Out

8/23/2012 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Big Brother 14 - Week 6

A new week kicks off in the "endurance" HOH competiton of bringing cups of water to jugs. Shane, Danielle and Ian are working towards the HOH bubble. Greedy Boogie goes right for the cash, while upsets Frank who would hope Boogie would want power to ensure both of their safety. All the others are slipping towards the safety jug. Thanks to a Crisco'd up path there's a lot of slippage, particularly Danielle and Ian though I guarantee only one of them will whine about the bruises all week and try to get Shane to pay attention to her. Ashley is in a slow world of her own, slowly walking or crawling her way to mediocrity. As I say each time I recap endurance comps: they are boring as crap. Britney wins safety and Boogie wins the $10k. With safety lost, even Dan makes an actual effort to win HOH, blowing all our minds. But of course competition machine Shane wins again and seriously people, shouldn't you have backdoored Shane weeks ago? You're going to regret it.

And I thought there wouldn't be any more surprises tonight but Jenn actually got air time! Yup, seems she's hurtin' from the falls but she still hobbles up to the HOH room to kiss ass. And she misses Wil- aww. Less surprising, the boring filler such as Joe always tells long-winded boring stories that sound like extreme exaggerations. He's like SNL's Penelope the one-upper of insane probably-lies. Best one: Joe named "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." Joe continues to be insane by telling Shane he would go out of the game for him to win, would jump in front of a bus for him. Ugh, go away Joe. Ian gets his armpits Nair'd to try and impress Ashley on a date (who is probably dreaming of smoochy stinky Frank some more). Now he looks even more like a child- weird. The date is also boring, awful, and just more attempts for BB to shove the lovable-fan-Ian edit at us.

Before Thursday's live show, Boogie and Ian had a quick chat where Boogie tried to see if Ian would nominate Britney or Shane should he win HOH. Ian's allegiance officially lies with the Quick Pack and he lets Britney, etc. in on this development. So eventhough it was obvious after Frank considered backdooring Dan, the Silent Six is over. Though Frank and Boogie don't know that, nor do they suspect Ian is a double agent. Britney thinks the only wise decision this week is to nominate Boogie and Frank together which would definitely send one of them home. The Quack Pack agrees on the decision and does a lame quacking hand shake wiggle thing to confirm it. LAME-OS!

The claw machine in the arcade room suddenly has a clear box with a question mark on it. Ian's first guess is that Pandora's Box is back- eyeroll for lack of originality. Shane is concerned that the question mark box could ruin his plans for the week. He "considers" voting off floaters, which is really just the Diary Room trying to make some story since the nominations were decided with 30 minutes of airtime left. Because, sho 'nuff, Shane has no hesitation and nominates Frank and Boogie for eviction.

Frank and Boogie are dummies who are blindsided by their supposedly tight alliance.  Well Frank if you tell a person you might backdoor them they aren't going to trust you.  When confronted, Shane says his plans changed a bit based on that stupid clear question mark box that no one knows a single thing about.  Shane says he was influenced by someone else and Shane eventually deflects the blame to Britney (she isn't pleased he did this).  Britney has to do damage control for her own game since Shane made her target bigger (eventhough she was always a huge target).  And then she cries about leaving her husband and losing her job to play this game and Shane f'ed up her game to supposedly protect the alliance while getting blood on his hands.  Ian, meanwhile, keeps a low profile while being a mole to the other side in their Quack Pack alliance.  Ian is sooo overly pleased that he's duping Frank and Boogie (their mistrust now lies with Dan) because Ian dreams of being a supervillain.  Keep dreaming while your alliance saves your ass.

The veto competition this week, no surprise, is a recycled challenge of the past.  It's the one where there's a shitload of some item and you need to guess how many their are, playing or folding like a strategic game of cards.  This season they're counting candy.  At least the yard is colorful in the process of being uncreative. Boogie gets eliminated in the first round because he was the furthest away from the right guess (that stayed; Jenn wisely folded after guessing over four times the right amount... dummy).  Frank is surprisingly good at calculating these high numbers.  Runner-up Ashley, not so much.  She has horrible methods like imagining the candy as pictures.  I think she's high.  Frank wins the Power of Veto and secures his safety for a week in the house.

The fun task of picking a replacement nominee is what goes down next.  Boogie tries to rally the outsiders (Jenn, Ashley, Joe, Ian) to convince Shane to nominate Dan and get him out of the game.  It's a smart move to try and get Dan out because he'll win this game again.  Boogie tries to play a sympathy card with Britney, mentioning his friendship with Dan, sadness of going home and having to watch the rest of the season on TV.  Of course Britney doesn't buy it!  Boogie makes his plea to Shane, explaining to Shane how Dan originally played the game: lay back and let his tight alliance do all the dirty work so he looked saintly.  Jenn makes her presence actually known this week to check in with Shane, make sure she's still good, attempts to get Dan nominated.  At the veto meeting, Shane names Jenn the replacement nominee and Jenn is pissed because she doesn't understand what a GD pawn is.

Thursday live episode isn't just the obvious demise of Boogie: it's a special live double eviction.  We flashback to right after the veto meeting where Jenn can't grasp her nomination because again, does she know what a pawn is??  Eventhough they were once a team, Frank sides with trying to get the votes to save Boogie and not Jenn.  Boogie and Frank are flabbergasted when Ian says he's torn who to vote for, so Ian claims he's voting to keep Boogie in the game.  Boogie has a house tantrum about Shane being Dan's bitch, with Frank piping in; Dan just reads the bibles.  Ian just watches the mess, squirming a little since it's partially his fault.  As Danielle walks by, Boogie makes an amazingly awful but fantastic comment that it'd be great for a Team Boogie member to be final 3 with Dan and Danielle since Dan will throw that last competition so he won't "have to slash Danielle's throat on national TV."  Dan says he hasn't thought that far ahead, but Boogie requests he at least not treat Ian lie crap.  Jenn threatens to go out "kamikaze" style because she is dumb enough to think she'd go home vs. a person who is really playing the game.  She campaigns angrily to everyone.

Julie announces to the houseguests that it's a fast forward double eviction night and the second person evicted will be the first one to the jury.  Jenn makes a grateful-to-be-here speech-don't-need-your-pity-Jenn-city speech.  Boogie wears the creepiest outfit ever to thank his business partner and son, but his speech is directed right to Joe that last week they saved him by changing the target to Wil.  He closes with "Go New England Patriots. Mic check 1-2, I'm out."  Great show on the show's end completely editing out any of the shitshow that happened this week when Ashley turned on BFF Jenn, Joe pledged his alliance to Shane and that group- yeah, wonderful job.  Joe's speech has no effect on swaying his vote.  In a 5-2 vote Mike Boogie is evicted from the house.  Boogie's parting words to Frank, "Ian is not to be trusted."  Boogie is shocked at the vote moreso because Ian's true colors were revealed, with him using the "Get ta steppin" from a past BB season.  After Ian's goodbye video admits his whole scheme to get Boogie out, Boogie takes his hat off to him.

It's time to kick-off the fast forward HOH competition and that person will immediately nominate two people for eviction.  In a before/after trivia competition, it comes down to a tie-breaker numbers question between Ian and Danielle.  Ian wins the HOH competition and nominates Frank and Ashley, saying "I'm really sorry" over and over.  The veto competition is the 100% exact same competition as last season when St. Jeff Schroeder got eliminated after accidentally losing a GD clown shoe.  This time they at least hop over pretty rainbows to find clovers.  Frank gets his clovers crazy fast and saves himself.  Better check Ian's ball pit because I'm pretty sure he shit himself when Frank won POV.  Frank quickly makes a plea for Shane and Britney to keep Ashley and vote out the replacement; Frank's target is Dan not them.  Frank uses the POV on himself and Joe is named the replacement nominee.  "Pop a squat, man!" Ashley gives a weird, rambling, slurred, confused speech; Joe signs like a chimp.  Ashley is evicted in a 5-1 vote, but compliments Julie on her side pony.  Enjoy the comfy beds of the jury house, Ashley.