August 30, 2012

Big Brother 14: Carrot Suit Chaos

8/30/2012 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Big Brother 14 - Week 7
We start the new week rehashing Thursday's events. Frank is livid that Ian couldn't give Boogie the respect of a vote after his coaching, guidance, and giving Ian $3,000. Then Ian accidentally wins HOH and has to carry out the Quack Pack's wishes to get Frank out. Frank is shocked that he's at a point in the game that he has to ask Ian for a vote considering they were supposedly allies. And while the others are spitting crazy game advice, Ashley is the space cadet who just congratulates Ian. Ian's adamant about nominating Frank off the bat, preferring the idea of backdooring him but his alliance pushes for the Frank nomination. Then Frank wins POV is the biggest F-U moment, saving himself for the fifth time. Impressive, even if Frank is being a loudmouth poor sport. Frank pushes for Joe to go home and it's what Ian might prefer, but Ian's alliance could give a shit (especially after another Frank tantrum) and Ashley's out.

Frank continues his angry tirade and calls Ian's a bad person. Britney cries, Ian cries. The Quack Pack definitely did put Ian in a bad position, but Ian could've done what he wanted and picked a side. Ian's full of regret so Dan and Britney try to keep his spirits up, assuring him he made a good decision. Frank remains insistent that Dan did everything, that it was Dan's decision to take out Boogie then Ashley. His target this week is Dan and wants his word from other Quack Packers that they'll take out Dan. Danielle cries, of course, because everything is about her. Frank and Britney make a deal with Frank to make sure they have safety.

Ian's HOH reign is over basically immediately and he hosts the next HOH competition. The game this week is to use strings to raise a ball up a wall of holes, trying to the highest score, leading to head-to-head matches based on rankings. Dan and Frank battle each other in the lowest score battle and Frank wins by getting to the top arrow first, which has gotta feel good to him. Frank then begins a path of ball lifting dominance, winning himself yet another HOH. Bad news for Dan who's going to be nominated and is given his first ever week as a Have Not.

Frank's HOH room has the golden Pandora's Box door and I'd roll my eyes, but it hurts too much. Frank's given a teaser preview of Pandora's Box: a room with tons of money cubes to choose from. Eventhough opening the box could present a twist for Dan to stay, greed (or probably producers insisting it gets opened) gets in the way. Frank has to select three cubes and gets the dollar amount in those cubes, plus he gets locked in the room for one hour. Frank's opening of PB is only an OK decision, winning a bit over $3,000. Meanwhile, the rest of the house ransacks the backyard to find quarters inside balls to use in the claw machine. The clear box is now a golden veto ball, a second veto of the week. Dan is desperate to win, even lying to the other HGs to imply he already won it so that they'd quit. Dan is a huge dick, showing the true colors everyone knew existed but hadn't come to surface yet. Dan even threatens to rat out Ian. Britney's claw grabs the veto but the momentum of the claw drops it in the worst tease ever. Ian and his moobs win the claw machine veto.

The question of the week is who to put on the block next to Dan. A great choice, agreed by Britney, is Danielle who is Dan's closest ally and a vote for him to stay. Now that Ian has the veto, Frank has an idea that he could nominate Ian and Danielle, Ian uses his new veto, and Dan gets backdoored. Frank's concern is that Ian might still have Dan's back, so maybe Ian can't be trusted. Britney's brain is working impressively hard and she tells Frank to tell Ian that if Ian uses the veto to save Dan or Danielle, Frank will name Britney the replacement nominee. BUT Britney has an ulterior motive that if another Quack Pack member wins the regular veto they could save Dan and Danielle. Smart thinking, Brit! Frank finally settles on nominating Dan and Danielle and I guess we'll wait and see what malarkey Ian pulls next.

Dan is going to try his hardest to get Ian to use the veto, while Frank is putting trust in Ian and Britney.  There's a great idea put out there now that Ian has the second veto: if Shane or Britney win the veto, they can remove Dan or Danielle and Ian removes the other.  It's a really great move if they win the veto.  The veto is a combination of product placement and how bad do you want it.  Players watch phone app Draw Something sketches and have to guess the picture.  Get it right and you get the points if you accept a punishment.  Dan is trying him hardest to win instead of throwing the competition.  He accepts solitary confinement for 24 hours in a dance party, showing again how hard he wants to be in the game (or loves to party).  Frank gets DQ'd for cheating and he would've won the whole thing.  Not to mention he earlier accepted the punishment of being dressed as a carrot all week, can't compete in next eligible HOH, and has to take a chum shower for 24 hours.  Could be a golden shower.  Jenn, who earlier told Frank she wants to move forward and prove to Frank he's not alone, steps up and plays the game.  Jenn accepts slop for the remaining three weeks of the game in order to win the POV.  Dan retreats to the storage room to accept his demise before being shoved into solitary confinement.

Dan returns from solitary confinement and calls a house meeting which he dubs his "Big Brother funeral."  Dan gives nice parting words to his fellow houseguests, apologizing to Frank for the nasty things he may have said.  When it comes to Danielle, the girl he has mentored all summer, the tables suddenly turn: Dan tells Danielle that she is not as trustworthy as former Renegade Memphis, that she betrayed his trust, and she's dead to him in this game.  Already unstable, Danielle loses her shit.  Crying, sobbing uncontrollably.  The house is shocked by Dan's behavior.  Dan goes up to the HOH to "apologize" to Frank but instead pulls the off the most amazing Hail Mary move ever.  Dan rats out the Quack Pack, Ian in particular, for all that has transpired.  Dan proposes a final two deal for himself and Frank, with the idea of Jenn using her veto to save someone from the block, taking out Britney, and keeping Dan in the game. 

Still losing her GD mind, Danielle is approached by Dan where he confesses his sins.  It was all an act, he had to do it to throw off his scent and make the house thinks she's all alone.  Danielle cries more that Dan broke her heart and humiliated her.  Dan is just cackling like a sociopath and while Danielle is kinda smiling and giggling, she's still a little pissed.  Dan lets Danielle into the loop about the new alliance; Frank does the same with Jenn, telling her all about Ian betraying Boogie and the deets about the stupidly named Quack Pack.  Jenn is kinda shocked when Frank asks her to use the veto on Dan, worrying it will make her a target (LOL YA RIGHT). 

At the POV ceremony, Ian goes first with his claw machine veto.  He chooses not to use the veto.  Jenn opts to go along with Frank's plan and uses her veto to save Dan.  The house is pretty damn confused.  Frank names Britney the replacement nominee as revenge to Ian since Britney is his closest ally (Ian was safe with veto).

The house is totally shocked.  Danielle plays dumb about what goes on, Dan runs to another room to celebrate his "finest house in the house."  Dan denies his involvement to Britney, who wishes he'd give her the courtesy of treating her with respect.  Ian realizes Frank might've learned he was playing both sides, getting into shouting matches; Dan laughs in the other room.  Even Frank comments on the ludicrous nature of him get into a sparring match into a carrot costume.  Britney doesn't believe she's Ian's biggest ally and faces the facts that she's taking the fall for someone else's actions.  Britney's not mad at Frank for playing the game, she's mad at Dan for being such an evil manipulator.  She then goes on a roll of amazing cracks about her hatred of Dan.  God I'll miss her wittiness.

Shane's in the most difficult spot this week, having to choose between his coach or closest friend.  Joe promises to vote however Shane wants, after giving that loud, over-the-top, I'll die for you speech.  But who cares about the house, let's watch a dumbass video package on The Brigade, the all guy alliance that ruined Britney on BB12.  Even in her final night Britney gets overshadowed by that stupid alliance (though they do have her back).  At least they call Danielle a Fatal Attraction/Amy Fisher stalker.  When we return to the house, Britney makes one last crack at Dan being long-winded and calls him Judas ala old man Jerry from his original season.  She is voted off by a 4-1 vote.

The HOH competition is yet another endurance competition, with the fans given the chance to punish or reward the first person out (punish wins!)  The "Soak up the Sun" competition is to stand on a disk attached to a rope, which rotates around the big shitty looking sun.  Big Brother gives them a "tan" which is to shoot yellow stuff all over them.  Do they know what color tans are?  Looks like sun pee to me.  But before the episode even ends, Joe is out and Jenn bites it on a speed bump and falls.