September 11, 2012

Bachelor Pad 3: I'm the Schmuck with $250,000

9/11/2012 Posted by Mel Got Served , , No comments
Bachelor Pad 3 - Finale
It's the Bachelor Pad 3 finale which they are calling the "most disturbing episode ever" and I can't wait to see how this show defines disturbing.  All the losers sit to the site in the usual reunion setting to field questions and, if they're awesome enough, get called to the hot seat.

Shall we start the recap on the positive stuff?  Blakeley and Tony are very much in love and moving in together.  Tony had a crush on her, got friend-zoned a bunch, and stayed strong.  Persistence works, ladies and gents!  The moving-in isn't enough for Tony and he has a big surprise, as Blakeley gives a surprised side-eye to eyeone: proposal time!!  A standing ovation is had, tears abound.  It's a sweet moment amongst the shit show to come!

But the biggest drama of the night is the love saga failure of Michael Stagliano and Rachel.  He's the first on the hot seat since everyone loves him.  He thought he'd be eliminated first or second considering he won the money last season, but he was able to run shit for a while.  Him and Erica Rose aren't friends anymore and he's no longer seeing Rachel.  It seems Michael Stag was going for the summer camp hook-up approach, not finding him a wife.  Jaclyn thinks Michael is a phony who led on Rachel.  Rachel, I think, could give a crap about the prize because she's pissed at Michael Stag.  Rachel felt Michael really led her on with the swooning talk, almost ready to quit the game to follow him.  She was falling in love, he wasn't.  Michael explains, again, he wasn't down for a long distance relationship and she mutters something about "Stay tuned."  What's that you say?  Oh yeah, Michael had a girlfriend back in Chicago the whole time and it was a long distance relationship.  The crowd gasps!  Michael admits he was a liar, Rachel cries about falling for said liar.  Good news is, everyone votes to sad dumpee to win.  Just ask Michael Stagliano from season two.

Gametalk from the losers.  Jaclyn thinks it sucks that her bestie Rachel took away her chances to win the prize, especially since Rachel constantly wanted to quit to puppy dog follow Michael.  She also wishes people would give her the credit she deserves for truly controlling the game, not that failure Michael Stag.  In terms of the game, Blakeley wasn't there to make friends and just wanted Jamie to understand Chris was not loyal in the slightest.  This leads into the anti-Jamie rally which is fantastic, especially since the crowd hates her two (ZERO applause when she was introduced).  Let's also address her stupid headpiece and over-accessorized outfit, which is hilarious.  Jaclyn tells Jamie she's socially awkward, condescending and fake.  Let's add in fashion victim.

Chris Harrison interviews the final two couples, though most of this time is spent letting Rachel rant about Michael.  Nick says tried to avoid season drama, is shocked he's in the finale, and felt like he had to prove to Rachel he was a worthy partner.  It's been hard for Chris to watch this show back and his family is very disappointed in his behavior.  Yup, self-awareness that he was a douchebag.  After the short Chris Harrison talk, the losers get to ask the couples questions to help make their big voting decision.  Rachel feels bad for betraying Jaclyn.  Chris has no regrets and was there to win, though Blakeley reminds him they choose a winner.  There's a fair share of Chris apologies and he asks that they not vote for him, but they should vote for Sarah for fighting hard and getting to the end.  It's a lame questioning and voting quickly happens.  In the no shit moment, Nick and Rachel get the majority and win. 

In the final test of their forced partnership, Nick and Rachel have to determine how this prize money goes.  $250,000 on the line, they have to choose to Keep the prize or Share to split the money evenly.  But if one chooses Share, the other Keep, the keeper gets all the cash.  Yay, greed!  If Rachel and Nick both pick keep, all the losers split the prize money.  Rachel feels they have built a level of trust and friendship and Nick thinks they have a different partnership (meaning they didn't bang) that is on the same page.  The losers deliberate what choice each will make, which most assume will be share because why be a greedy jerk?  They take jabs at Nick not even really playing the game most of the time, just chilling and voting however he was told to.  Nick and Rachel return to the stage to reveal their selections.  Rachel lost out of love, doesn't want to lose the money, and knows you need a partner to win so she selects Share.  Nick busts out that weird aggression he showed a couple weeks back, using his hands to swat around about how no one expected him to be at the end.  Everyone giggles, but Nick was hurt by seeing on the show that no one appreciated him making it to the end and he was an outsider.  He maintains he did it alone and Rachel never wanted to be his partner, trying to leave three times eventhough it would screw him over.  Nick the season ghost becomes the coolest dude ever with the biggest F-U ever and chooses KEEP! AHAHAHAHAHA.  Mouths agape, cheers, laughter, shock, clapping.  It's amazing and it's why you never underestimate those random people in the game.

Rachel is livid.  "Are you kidding me?  I brought you here.  You're here because of me." Rachel says.  Nick insists no one wanted to partner with him and he played alone.  Nick asks who came to the show to win $125,000? No one, they came for $250,000.  Well played, Nick.  I too mocked your lack of presence my touche, my friend.  So to recap, Nick has $250 and Rachel has $0 and got dumped.  Nick insists she only stuck around because Michael wanted to.  And then comes the best dialogue of the night:

"Ugh, you're such a fucking schmuck. You are disgusting."
"I'm the schmuck with $250,000."

Chris asks the losers what he thinks of the outcome, especially since Jaclyn thought Rachel should've kept all the money.  Jaclyn thinks Rachel deserved it and Nick didn't.  Kalon reminds everyone that no one deserves the money; it's a game.  Kalon gives the "well played, man" for Nick being so under the radar and pulling off such a ballsy, dick move.  Tony asks if Nick will feel bad the next day for the decision and while Rachel says he lucked out, Nick insists it was an under-the-radar play.  Erica Rose's question is actually great which is would he have done this to any partner or was it just the situation? Nope, it was just because of Rachel's behavior.  LOLOL.  And then the show wraps with Rachel flipping out on Nick backstage and the rest of the cast feeling major pity.  AWESOME FINALE, says me.  I LOVE THIS SHOW.

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