October 21, 2012

Reality Rundown: And a Smootch for Jeff Probst

The Amazing RaceSurvivor: Philippines

The Amazing Race - The third leg of the race stays in Indonesia but the stakes are high as a Double U-Turn lies ahead. But first, there's a Road Block for one teammate to balance and serve twenty plates of Padang food all at once, unable to drop any of it. Hope the show is paying the restaurant well with all the broken bowls. Of course Chippendales dude knows how to wait tables because, shocker, before wiggling his junk for a living he waited tables.

Teams next travel via train where they can hardly rest, as vendors walking through the aisles have the next clue with them. There's a huge gap between the trains, with the twins narrowly missing the first train, meaning the back of the pack will be three hours behind the frontrunners. The frontrunners agree not to U-Turn each other but Team "Long Hair Don't Care" are sitting elsewhere, so their decision is up in the air. Oh wait they're pretty chill so of course they won't do anything.

A Detour awaits after the train and it's like a wait did you say get my head set on fire kind of challenge? So teams can either light a coconut on fire, place on their head and cook an egg or parade and dance down the street with a big ass, insanely heavy lion mask. As you watch the teams perform the lion mask parade it gives me the vibes of a really sad parade at a Six Flags, like 18 notches below a Disney parade. Cooking eggs on your head is kind of ridic and a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It's also fun to see a local rip a coconut open with his team.

After the Detour that the teams encounter the Double U-Turn kiosk and that's when big decisions must be made. This is the anonymous Double U-Turn which means you can eff someone over in a cowardly way. As they promised, none of the frontrunners U-Turn anyone especially since it's not needed since they are hours ahead. Abbie and Ryan are team #1 and win a trip to Fiji, making this a second victory and already showing their potential great chances at the $2 million. The Monster Truckers Rob and Kelley U-Turn Gary and Will, the big and little BFFs. Gary and Will find out they've been U-Turned stupidly U-Turn Rob and Kelley, who have since checked into the Pit Stop. Lucky for them, Caitlin and Brittany have a terrible driver that knows no directions, getting them terribly lost. The teams end up in a pedicab drag racerace girls until the girls' cart chooses the wrong side at a fork in the road. Gary and Will check in ninth and Brittany and Caitlin, who I didn't know were in this race until they earlier screamed about money with a cabbie, are eliminated.

Survivor: Philippines - With a reward challenge coming, and the possibly of Denise and Malcolm getting sent to other tribes, they start immunity idol hunting. They keep overlooking the top of the rice basket until they tilt it over and the idol falls off the top. So now they're in better shape unless they get split apart.  Sho' nuff, at the reward challenge Matsing is officially killed off and they are sent to other tribes. Malcolm goes to Tandang and Denise to Kalabaw, bringing it back to a classic two tribe Survivor. The reward challenge is to battle head-to-head to knock off the other person's idol. It's I guess entertaining but I only paid attention when Dawson tried to pull Abi's hair to win. Girl fight! Malcolm missed his first time, but second time he beats Jeff and finally feels the taste of victory. Tandang wins reward in the form of coffee, tea, muffins, cookies- it's an Au Bon Pain feast!

Tandang celebrates victory with a mouthful of sweets, and Malcolm is already trying to find a crack to fit into to make sure he isn't cut immediately. RC saw some hope to buddy up with Malcolm, but Pete gets his hooks into him first. RC is all alone- waaah. Pete is relieved they can get rid of Michael, telling Malcolm they also have the idol (Malcolm keeps his idol a secret). It's hilarious to see everyone kissing Malcolm's butt when in past seasons a new tribemate was the first new target.

Denise sees herself as needing to survive week-by-week and the girls are happy for a little more estrogen to pull into the three lady alliance. Problem is Dana is feeling pretty sick: dizzy, nauseus, dehydrated, shooting stomach pains, and crying into a cave wall. Trying to warm her up, they recommend what I'll always call the Voyage of the Mimi move to get naked and snuggle under a blanket. Medical is called in to help the ailing Dana. The doctors basically give her twelve hours to get hydrated and back to normal. Because it's not life-threatening she's not an automatic pull. It's up to Dana to choose between staying or leaving the game: writhing in pain, Dana chooses to leave the game. Pretty sucky and Jonathan knows her pain because the same happened to him. Sorry ladies alliance, you're back to even!

Even with one out, there is still an immunity challenge and Tandang is shocked to see Kalabaw arrive with six members instead of seven. This week's challenge is an obstacle course, undo ropes to drop and cross a drawbridge and retrieve, what else, puzzle pieces. I understand wanting a mix of brains vs. brawns but holy shit, enough puzzles. Tandang beats Kalabaw by literally a second meaning Kalabaw is losing another tribemember is this suckfest of a few days.

Kalabaw now gets to experience Tribal Council after a few easy days of Matsing losing a shitload. Katie's definitely a target for being slow and crappy at the challenge, and she knows it. Denise is still concerned she could be the target being the newbie, so she shakes on an alliance to be the fourth with Jeff, Jonathan, and Connor because she's much stronger than Dawson or Katie. Dawson is on the radar too for being bad at challenges. But with Dawson making Jeff squirm, making obvious hints at Jeff's life as a professional baseball player, her target grows bigger. At their first Tribal Council, we get the usual convos that happen when a team loses the first time: challenge performance. While a positive attitude in the rain seems like a great selling point, it doesn't work out for Dawson and she's first Kalabaw member officially voted out of the game. But she gives Probst a hug and a cheek kiss so a winner in my mind.