October 11, 2012

Reality Rundown: Call Him Lord Probst Now

The Amazing RaceSurvivor: Philippines

The Amazing Race - The teams fly to Surabaya, Indonesia for the next leg of the race, hopefully still with a bellyful of frog fallopian tubes. The news is the Express Pass is up for grabs, awarded to team #1 this week and in the future they can skip a task. Everyone is one the same flight except Rob/Kelley, the married monster truckers, who take a different flight that leaves earlier but has a four hour layover in Japan. These morons book a flight that leaves earlier, but arrives later. Stupid. James and Abba, the rockstar/lawyer combo, are able to snag an earlier flight via standby at their Jakarta layover. But it doesn't really matter because the gate doesn't open until 8am, so everyone is on a slightly even playing field even Rob/Kelley who were hours behind.

At 8am the teams enter a bull race but they don't actually race the bulls and instead ride alongside on mopeds. So considering it "racing" with bulls but with no stakes because you don't even have to win. Just know bulls are way faster than crappy mopeds. They grab their clue and race to the next clue: a Roadblock. Someone was definitely high while creating this task, which is to have one team member needs to pedal-powered amusement ride from in front of a Kmart while making balloon animals. I think this is the exact opposite of the statement "I like to party" on the clue card. I imagine the kids getting motion sickness are thinking the same thing. The tiny half of Gary/Will can't do the balloon animals at all, getting flustered and sweaty in the process.

For this week's Detour, teams either have to load and deliver blocks of ice or sort through fresh fish to set up a stall. So either freeze or stink- what fun! Only the twins, Natalie and Nidya, sort the fish and are the first team to check in. They stink but win the Express Pass so it's worth the stank. Dating Trey and Lexi, also buddies with the twins, are team #2 so it's their dream scenario. Shitty cab drivers are the big issue for Rob/Kelley and on and off dating Kelly/Daniel, putting them further behind but on par with a slow Gary/Will. Amy and Daniel are the last team to arrive and get eliminated from the race by Phil and a local with repulsively long fingernails.

Survivor: Philippines - Matsing is the most depressing camp ever. Sitting in silence, desperately trying to re-make the fire extinguished from the rain. It's been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad nine days for the tribe and a victory is much needed to avoid Survivor extinction. Russell knows not only is the tribe crappy, but no one has talked game to him which likely means he's on the outside of an alliance. He has one chance to save his ass: the idol. Russell starts searching "somewhere" near your beach, but he hasn't done the obvious rice box yet. Denise catches him scavenging with a horrible alibi story, so now Malcolm and Denise search his clothes to try and find it (nothing, because he found nothing). I beg of you Survivor gods, please don't let Russell find the idol and stay in this game.

Tandang mopes in their crappy shelter from the rain. While poking around in the shelter in front of everyone, a piece of paper is sticking out from a wrap. It's the Hidden Immunity Idol clue so now it's all out in the open. Abi, of course, blames RC for planting the clue, while RC is like crap, I'm screwed. Well it was Pete who did it: found the clue RC hid and planted it in the shelter. Pete is delighted at the wedge he drove between RC and Abi, as the two continue bickering around camp about the incident.  Kalabaw is more secret and tame with their idol.  Jeff Kent, now kind of aligned with Jonathan, isn't too upset with that anymore. Jonathan had the idol and the Kalabaw tribe is pretty young compared to himself and Jonathan. The older fellas expand the alliance to include Carter, the only other male on the tribe. The women know they're on the outs so their new goal is make the merge, align with more ladies.

Getting into today's immunity challenge the teams have to carry bamboo pots through an obstacle course and then smash the pots with a wrecking ball. Destruction AND no puzzles? YESSSS. Tandang wins the challenge getting immunity as well as steak, veggies, spices, and utensils, a delicious feast for some starving people. In the closest challenge yet, Kalabaw narrowly defeats Matsing, staying immune and take the tarp instead of the teeny food prize. Malcolm was SO close, it was awful. Russell throws another post-challenge tantrum in front of the other tribes and everyone shakes their head in embarrassment. At least this one has a moment where Russell calls Probst "Lord" accidentally, so it has some humor amongst his overconfidence that lacks in any skills or good temper.

Malcolm is so depressed about losing, comparing it to the loss of his dead dog. Out at sea, Malcolm tells Russell that they should vote out Denise. Malcolm then tells Denise what he's said and assures her he plans to stay on her side. Russell talks to Denise about his behavior and reactions, which he explains with a backstory of being beat up as a kid and then getting revenge on one of them and not being afraid anymore. Denise hustles too, throwing out the idea of voting out Malcolm to Russell, probably in case an idol is played so she isn't screwed over. It's a ploy to make Russell feel like the swing vote, but there's an uneasiness that anything could swing at Tribal.

At Tribal Council, Russell explains he is simply striving for excellence at all times and gets heated. Malcolm argues his case of being a much needed physical player for the tribe, but Russell's argument is that Malcolm is a young, strong guy people will bond to. Denise is given the pros for having a personality people will write a million dollar check to. And Russell is a lose cannon that isn't as strong as he thinks. A loud crash of thunder hits the exact moment Jeff asks if anyone wants to play the hidden immunity idol, but it doesn't get played so a smile creeps on Malcolm's face. Malcolm and Denise stay true to their alliance and vote off a surprised Russell.

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